Speaking from my heart

[Faith in Him]

I am speaking from my heart and since I have a scan on Friday, I am probably more dramatic than usual. But I am just having an issue with the whole, "they lost their battle to cancer" thing.

I know that I may have stray cancer cells and that I may never rid my body of them altogether. But I don't feel like I am losing the battle. Every day feels like a win to me. Cancer hasn't cancelled out the 1,575 days I have lived since I was told. It hasn't cancelled out all the major milestones I have witnessed in my life and those I love since dx.

Even if the worse happens, I will still live on in the memories of those who love me. So at the end of day, would I really lose to cancer. How can all those days of living and the memories total up to a lost?

I think of the people I've known who have gone on to Heaven after living with cancer. I don't feel like they lost their battle. In fact, I have the opposite feeling.

I once read a post that said something like, if you are still around the day after you hear the words, "you have cancer", you have won the battle. There is a lot of truth in that.

[tricia keegan]

I loved reading your perspective on this and wanted to wish you good luck and positive vibes for good news on the scan results Friday!
I think we all tend to get a little anxious and dramatic when testing time comes around but I hope we'll be celebrating good news with you:)

[Rich66]

It is interesting that you don't tend to hear of people "losing their battle" with so many other diseases.

[bejuce]

Love your post! You should check out this essay (http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/15/with-cancer-lets-face-it-words-are-inadequate/) by Jennings of the New York Times, in which he talks about words like "battle" being inadequate to describe the cancer fight.

I love what he says in the end - that "cancer isn’t a battle, a fight. It’s simply life — life raised to a higher power."

Living life to the fullest,

Marcia

[StephN]

Tonya -
Thanks for your honest feelings. You are absolutely right.
We do "fight" cancer (try to get rid of it), but there is a tendancy for people who write obits to to use the "lost the battle" type terminology to describe dying from the disease or weakness which leads to another terminal condition.

Living and being with your family is a WIN every hour you are able to do that.

My best thoughts for a good scan result this week. No matter what it says, you ARE a WINNER.

[Pam P]

I have always cringed at the phrase 'lost the battle' too. I'm not in a fight or a game - I don't understand win/lose - I'm just living the best I can.

Wish you great scan results.

[Joan M]

Tonya,

Well put.

Joan

[Bill]

Amen, Tonya.

[Laurel]

Beautifully expressed....

[chrisy]

thanks tonya

[ElaineM]

Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It gave me a lift.

[Adriana Mangus]

Hi Tonya,

I have felt the same way for a long time. I do not read the obituaries, Kent does and shows me the ones of people we knew or someone famous, and it bothers me a great deal to read "lost hers/his long battle" what?

These people simply put passed away from a disease, they were not fighthing in the Civil War..or any other type of war. The same goes for people who have died of diabetes, stroke, etc. why no one think of these deaths as "losing a battle with diabetes, stroke etc".

No "fancy" words however can take away the pain of those who have lost a loved one to a disease or any/or/under other type of circumstances.

Living with cancer is one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced in my life. It has given me a perspective in life, something I wouldn't have experienced had I not have been diagnosed with this disease. I'm a long "term" bc survivor and I wouldn't change a thing. My life as I have lived it so far is PERFECT.

Adriana

[Jean]

What a fantastic attitude.
Thank you!

Sending you positive thoughts - wishes and prayers for the good news you want to hear.

Hugs,
Jean

[schoolteacher]

Tonya,

Thanks for the post.

Amelia

[dawn]

Tonya,

Beautifully put. Wow! Very Inspirational and Thank You!

Dawn

[Laurel]

Good wishes for tomorrow. Praying for a shockingly positive scan! Wouldn't it be great to see your doc's jaw drop? Hoping and praying for good news.

[Ceesun]

Very well expressed.

[PatriceH]

We will all die of something. The scary part is knowing it's name. Some people don't have the opportunity to LIVE