I'm back (sorry to those of you that were glad to see me go)...but I'll be gone again

[RhondaH]

First of all, I TOTALLY agree with Debbie L. on ALL counts. I ALSO felt that Joe's comments were "political" based on the "add on's". I'm sorry but, while "coincidental" there has been NO proof that this info came out PURELY (or NOT purely) by the leftists. I know I was ONLY trying to provide INFORMATION (nothing about politics in it, not to mention to provide a more detailed POSSIBLE, UNPOLITICAL reason for the guidelines) and being that I offered no "comment" (I've gotten beaten up before on this board for offering an article, but no comments...I found early on that if I made a mistake, I would soon hear about it and not always in a "polite" way, this is why I stopped offering comments or "briefings" on what I posted, I wanted the reader to make their own decision) on what I READ, I was "trying" to keep my political views out of it, but soon found that unless I came out with daggers, I was a "traitor". Brenda, I don't appreciate the "snide" remark about the unregistered "cowards"...if I have something to say I'll PUT my name on it AND I feel sorry for whoever it is, as there is NO WAY I would want to join a group that would beat me up MERELY for sharing information. I don't know the LAST time you posted ANYTHING that didn't add a comment about your political view. Also your right, now everything we READ has been politicized and the NYT is EXTREMELY leftist...I would be FAR better informed by watching FOX. I find it amazing that EVERTHING in our life has become political and what I find even MORE disheartening is that MERELY because I was only trying to provide a DIFFERENT opinion (not everyone else's opinion and I still don't even know if it is MY opinion as I am ONLY gathering info to form an opinion... I learnt a long time ago to gather as much info as possible and to CALM down before jumping to a rash in judgement...this is why on many things I wait 24 hours before punishing Tony as I don't want to have to take stuff back later) I feel so ALIENATED (some, but not all) by the HER2 group that I have loved for almost 5 years and PRAY that I never will have a need to come here again as right now, I'm not feeling very welcomed. I will continue to pray for you all and may all of you live to be a happy healthy 100 years old. Take care.

[Ellie F]

Hi Rhonda
I have just read you post with sadness.
This board unites us all through a common struggle against a dangerous enemy.
Everyones contribution is valuable in a different way and I believe the only way forward for the world is that we embrace these and move on.
I hope you will reconsider your decision to leave the board.
Ellie

[swimangel72]

Oh Rhonda - I'm so sorry you're feeling upset! http://her2support.org/vbulletin/picture.php?albumid=64&pictureid=122 I just posted a response to Debbie in the other thread - I'm so grateful for EVERYONE's opinion here and truly believe that all this renewed attention towards BC will ultimately help all of us! Controversy is good - stir the pot I say - and something good will rise to the top. We all just need to play nice in the sandbox here! http://her2support.org/vbulletin/picture.php?albumid=64&pictureid=137

Perhaps I'm just a Polly-Anna wearing rose-colored glasses - but Rhonda, please don't leave - I know I don't post much here at Her2 but I love all my sisters here and cherish your experiences and wisdom. http://her2support.org/vbulletin/picture.php?albumid=64&pictureid=121

[hutchibk]

Hi Rhonda - Nothing underhanded or devious intended by what I posted, so it wasn't snide. Snide in my book is an unregistered guest who demeans and mocks without showing their face. Rhonda, with my eyes, I have seen no posts here that have beat you up personally for posting anything. I consider your links and threads informative. It is perfectly fair and expected for folks to offer a dissenting opinion from the experts and from each other. My gosh, we don't all walk in lockstep. But unless I am missing something, I have not read where one person beat up on you at all. You however did fallaciously accuse me of something that I am compelled to respond to. I do not ever post my political views here, nor do I demean or mock. I have included in a post a time or two about how differing philosophies play into the health debate in my opinion, and I have posted my views about how devastating the trumped up and expedient "healthcare overhaul" will be in my opinion, but my posts never include derogatory words or opinions about ideologies, political parties, left vs right, liberal vs conservative, etc. I NEVER ever go there in this forum. You must be thinking of someone else. And as this is an archived forum, it is very easy for me to support myself on this point. There are some who bleed their politics whether or not they mean to, and others who strive to keep it reined in and appropriately undramatic and unemotional. I prefer and strive to be the latter here (perhaps not perfectly, I condede) and based on your above post I would guess you prefer to be the former. Also, it's very odd that you took my opinion of the NY Times well documented plagiarism and fabrications over the last several years as a personal attack on a political ideology in favor of a different news source's perceived political bias. Wow, that's quite an exaggerated stretch. I never mentioned bias, I mentioned plagiarism and fabrication. Be careful of reading into something with your own filters on... I don't put much stock in either, I gather my info from a multitude of sources. I just don't read the NYT much because I quit trusting it years ago for various reasons.

What a strange post my lady. But if you need me to be your punching bag, go for it. I don't get offended by anything... I can take it if it makes you feel better and helps you release some pent up energy. I hold absolutely no ill feelings toward you even if we disagree about something, so punch away. I'll duck when I can and just absorb all the other blows that I don't see coming.

[Barbara H.]

HI Rhonda,
I'm sorry you are upset, Rhonda. I consider you a very valuable member of this site and hope you will continue to visit and offer your insight. I don't pay too much attention to the political aspects and the posts that deal with what is going on with health care. I therefore am not aware of why someone may be upset with you. All I know is that I consider the HER2 Website to be pretty safe. It took me a while to join. I won't join any other forums and I certainly don't have facebook. I also don't post that often because I just don't have the time due to my work and family. On August 26th I became a grandmother to a beautiful baby girl. I never thought I would see that day when my daughter married five years ago this past summer. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 in May 04 and it was everywhere including my brain. And here I am today still working and doing well. Although I do not respond to every post, I care about the HER2 members , think of everyone often, and feel sad when someone is doing poorly, or doesn't make it.
Please stay here. You can't imagine how many people care about you and would miss you if really decide to leave.
Best wishes,
Barbara H.

[Faith in Him]

I'm sorry that your are feeling bad, Rhonda. I personally do not keep up with the news as I should. Because of that I like to read different points of view. I remind myself that we have one enemy here and it's Breast Cancer.

[Joe]

Rhonda,

Your decision to leave is exactly what I wished to avoid.

I am personally disheartened as this support group represents eight years and countless hours of work both by myself and others who have volunteered to assist our organization and to leave it under these circumstances questions if our efforts are worth the sacrifice.

To address the issue at hand:

1. I personally know Dr. Love and am keenly aware of her devotion to the eradication of breast cancer. I read her explanation and do understand why she took her position. A carefull reading of the guidlines is required, not just a 30 second sound bite from CNN. Wheter I agree with her or not is a different story.

2. I mentioned the NBCC only as a point of information that another organizaton had also backed the proposed guidelines.

3. I am not a proponent of government intervention in my life other than what is granted in the Constitution. I am the product of parents who were very wise who lived by the rule: "God helps those who help themselves". My father lost his mother at age 3 from thegreat flu epidemic and his father was killed in a coal mine accident when my dad was 14. At that point he had to drop out of school as he was responsible fo the sole support his stepmother and 3 younger sisters. The year was 1928. There was no social security, welfare or aid to dependent children. Yet the family survived.

4. I am personally disillusioned with the politicians of both parties who use my tax money solely to perpetuate themselves in office. They no longer represent my best interests or the interests of my family. Most of the problems that I encounter in helping our members can be traced to underlying government regulations.

5. I do not understand the urgency of healthcare reform that it has to be rushed through congress without proper congressional hearings with input from the medical, insurance and patient communities to identify and address each problem in the system and deal with each problem individually. If this proposed legislation is so great, then why was the bill written in secrecy and why did members of congress exempt themselves from the provisions of the bill?

WarmestRegards to all
and thank you for letting me vent.

Regards
Joe

[hutchibk]

And for the record, I TOTALLY agree with JOE D. on ALL counts.

[Ruth]

????
What is going on? Rhonda...we need you!
I have thought about leaving before because I didn't feel that I had much to offer...not too current on trials or treatments but then I feel the pull of helping the newly diagnosed or someone having a hard time with hope and support. You have done nothing but support and help others!
Sending you lots of hugs ~ Ruth

[Bill]

Joe, thank you for your post. I agree, whole-heartedly with your points 3,4, and 5. #3, in particular. Our Federal government, slowly, but surely, bit, by bit, regardless of which party happens to be in office, is robbing us of our freedoms and rights.

[chicagoetc]

I'm with Sheila on the "To ALL - Please Remember Our Focus Joe". It'd be good to focus on the support and the reasons we are here. We obviously have widely diverging views on what is happening with health care in general in the US as well as on the insurance industry. And obviously each of us has strong beliefs that we're the ones with the obvious/logical response. I'd be glad if this thread and others that are controversial right now were just deleted or at least stopped so that we can move on. We're too important to each other regardless of these views.

I care about all of you and suspect the majority of every one here has the same perspective. We can be scared of the personal implications...or thankful for them. But hopefully we can keep it personal and peaceful.

Respectfully submitted,
Melanie

[ElaineM]

I am sorry to see you go Rhonda. I read and appreciate your informative posts.
We share our concerns that are related to our health care and other related needs. We have alot of different concerns, including access to health care. Many of us have already had to fight or struggle to get the care we need. I can understand that some members of this board are concerned about facing more possible struggles and fights if access to health care becomes limited. I can understand the need to express those concerns. If some members do not agree with the concerns of a member that is okay. Peace and understanding among friends are some of the keys to building and keeping relationships. If I read something I do not agree with most of the time I just think that person is entitled to his or her opinion. No problem. I do not get upset very often.
I read most posts contributed by the members of this board, but there are just so many hours in the day and I have alot on my plate. I don't have enough time to respond to every post even though I would like to participate more than I do. I am totally responsible for all of my needs. That includes cooking, cleaning, laundry, health care, paperwork, paying bills, medical and other appointments, grocery shopping, a little community involvement, keeping in touch with family and friends, my own social and spiritual needs, etc. etc. etc.
I wish there were more than 24 hours in a day to do stuff including participate more. Oh well, I just do what I can.
I will miss your participation if you decide to leave.
I wish you well, safety, peace, love and good health in your future. Take good care of yourself.

[Midwest Alice]

We are responsible for what happens in our country and to our constitution. Its ....WE the people.

Health care changes will affect us and those who follow. It's a very important issue for US.

Everyone needs to man up. Its OK that we don't agree.

I agree with Joe on 3,4 and 5.

I have had c-span on all day with the live Senate hearing on this health care bill. I have the Capital on my speed dial. Not only do I follow this bill on c-span, Fox and the web, I call my peoples in DC and tell them my 2 cents.

This is great we can talk about the health care bill here. I would ask my her2support friends to take the time to , call, email and fax your people in DC. They need to hear from the real people.

[tricia keegan]

Rhonda I remember you well from posting in the past and am sad you have decided to leave again. I don't live in the US so don't partake much in the political issue's that come up now and then on the board. If I don't live there I don't feel a right to comment unless something comes up about universal health care which I can comment on.
I'm just sad to see so many well read intelligent and educated people can't discuss different views and respect another's opinion but agree to differ if that is what it takes. Surely what brought us all here is more important than political agenda's??
I don't post or share scientific info links or whatever but do come here to find this info from other's who do! You were/are one of those people. I support where I can and reply where I feel I have something to add to a question. I don't think it matter's what views we all may have, as long as we share the view of supporting all people dx with her2+ cancer.....I recommend this board to many people I meet who are actively looking for further info than even their Dr's provide.
Maybe it's time we all took a step back to consider why we're are really here???? I'd hate to see this board change:(

[Sherryg683]

I think as a group, we should be free to discuss topics not just concerning treatment but topics that may affect our treatment such as health care reform without fear of being deleted because it may step on someones toes or someone threatens to leave the board . Frankly, I considered one of the posts supporting what's going on now condescending but did I leave or threaten to leave...hell no. This is my board to and I love you guys..we may not always agree but we can count on each other for support and information. I've learned a lot by reading the posts here recently. ..sherryg

[Laurel]

Okay, now I am gonna P.O. everyone here by saying that I always thought Dr. Love looked like a man and found it funny that she would be an advocate for women's breasts. Now, that said, I also feel she has very bad hair, and beady eyes. She may kick kittens and eat puppies, I am not sure. Regardless of these clear deficiencies, I am a member of her Army, and I have not gone awol or deserted, despite her, in my opinion, idiotic support of the new, again in my opinion, idiotic revised recommendations for women. Whew! Feels good to get that off my silicone stuffed chest!

Now, I am glad that Rhonda posted the link to Dr. Love, because I have been busier than a one-armed-paper-hanger lately (a good thing) and did not see the interview with Dr. Love. While I think it stupid on her part to support the new guidelines, it does make one pause to ponder her reasoning. Whether you dismiss her thoughts or embrace them, you have to admit it makes you scrutinize the new guidelines further.

In summation, Rhonda, I am glad you posted, did not think it cowardly in any manner, and am perplexed as to why you feel attacked, but am genuinely sorry you feel alienated and hurt. Dr. Love has a right to her opinion, after all this is the USA, and we have the right to reject or accept her reasoning.

Come back when the dust settles, Rhonda. In the end what will be will be, and we will all need one another.

[SoCalGal]

what the heck-a-ma-jeck is goin' on here? first my daughter talks AT me about how messed up the WHOLE entire world is and how every single thing she does has a negative impact on someone in the world, and how blah blah blah capitalism, made in china, blah blah blah blah blah.

So, I log on here for some calming cancer talk and instead!!!! people breaking up, fighting, yelling.

Feel your boobies, DON'T feel your boobies, has the whole world gone bonkers?

BTW all of this is just IN MY OPINIOIN - mine and only mine. I'm gonna feel my boobies, and then go to bed.

Love you guys!
Flori

[Catherine]

For Rhonda(and for everyone), I think you were one of the first people that I communicated with on this site. With out searching for threads, I think you are the one that put together the list of good foods to eat to help fight cancer. If this is who you are, I will miss you. And I hope that you just growl a little and come back soon. I personally have calmed down since getting over first seeing the new findings. I try hard to believe that the people "in charge" are looking out for we humans living in the U.S. (and elsewhere) What we sometimes rant about is really the complexity of bureaucracy. Even if I were a Congress person, I know that I could not always achieve what my constituents want....due to the layers and layers of bureaucracy. I do communicate with my Congress people and I do give them my opinion from time to time, in hopes they will vote with me in mind. I would like all of us to let the dust settle and still come here and support and inform each other. I can get angry with the best of them, but I hope we can all just be friends. I hope that all the hurt feelings, slowly heal.

Thanks for all the love and information, I have received from all of you.

Catherine

[Unregistered]

I always thought Dr. Love looked like a man and found it funny that she would be an advocate for women's breasts. Now, that said, I also feel she has very bad hair, and beady eyes. She may kick kittens and eat puppies, I am not sure.

[Unregistered]

unbelievable Laurel .... unbelievable ...

[Ellie F]

Laurel
You gave me the BIGGEST laugh of the day. Thank you x

Ellie

[Laurel]

Oh, get a sense of humor,silly woman or man, in which case I suppose I would suggest growing a pair rather than hide behind anonymity.

Retract the fangs, sweetie, this isn't a mean-spirited place. It is, however, where topics may be discussed with civility. If this ticks you off, keep alert, I am not finished. A chuckle among all the fear and anxiety never hurts. I realize, perhaps more so than you, what is at stake in this whole health care debate, but it must remain just that: a civil and respectful debate. I was J-O-K-I-N-G. Novel concept for some, apparently, but clearly was trying to lighten the discussion with some brevity. I did write, which you failed to quote (hmmm, wonder why??) that I was not AWOL, nor a deserted from Dr. Love's Army Of Women. I thought that would speak for itself. Clearly, you failed to read my full post, or I am certain you would not have attacked me so viciously and unkindly. Shame on you, but no matter, just settle down and play nice in the sandbox and we will all get along. We are all in this together, aren't we?

[rl2]

I have also found the political bent of some of the discussions here disheartening and motivated by self-interest, I think we need health care reform, our failure to cover everyone and do something about costs is appalling.
Why does it cost $100 to have an MRI in Japan but thousands here? And aren't they healthier than us?
The problems in the US are systemic, a corporate culture driven by greed and the need for profit.
There is a great blog called healthbeatblog which gets into all of this in detail.

[Midwest Alice]

rl2,

I agree that health care refom is needed. I would guess we would disagree on how the reform should take place. I think reform needs to happen in the free market. The government is to big and spending money we don't have. I do not want the government to get any more control over health care than they have.

Whats great is in our country our constitution gives us the right to disagree. It doesn't make one of us good and the other one bad. AND that is true ONLY as long as we have our constitution .

Your question about cost of MRI in US vs Japan has to do with the different forms of government. Their health being better than ours has to do with the US diet vs Japan diet.



http://641.members0703.wimp.com/thegovernment/

Here is a link to a video about governments. Its very interesting. I pick our form of government over Japans.

[rl2]

Well, you can have a purportedly democratic government making the decisions about health care (if we can get the right people elected and gain control over it from the special interests) or you can have private, for profit corporations making the decisions about who to cover and what to pay for, which is what we have, which is an abomination both in terms of cost (the extra administrative costs, we would drive down costs and be able to provide more care and more treatments if we had a single payer system and we weren't sinking so much of our money into supporting the insurance companies), now the insurance companies make the decisions about what they will cover, and who they will cover.
We see how well allowing for profit, large corporations running things have done for us - the financial companies have driven us into the ground (which is why we don't have money) - that mess was caused by a lack of government regulation, not too much of it - and you think that is a good model for health care?
In these discussions, some people tend to forget that the government is us, or it should be, if we bother to elect the right people pursuing policies for our common good.
The government is responsible for providing for the common good - without it, we wouldn't have public schools (we could have a more ignorant population than we have now) - should only people with children pay to educate their children? What about roads, public transportation, and our military defense? (another big ticket item no one on the antigovernment side ever seems to complain about).
The government is involved in our food policies, supporting certain agricultural decisions and industries, what we grow, what we eat (meat and dairy in amounts that historically human beings have never eaten), if those policies were less tilted toward the corporate interests, perhaps we too would eat a healthier diet and be less sick as a country.
I think we need more government control - including us having more control over our government, and electing real representatives, not the millionaires who are currently inhabiting Congress.

[StephN]

If anyone thinks the government can do such a better job running our healthcare system, just learn a little about the Medicare fraud that is allowed to go on and on and on in this country. These BILLIONS in ANNUAL losses is from a system run by massive computers which spit out the payments within 2 weeks after the claim is filed. Humans do NOT check these claims. It would take an army to even spot check them - and this is what we get:

http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourhealth/medicare/articles/criminals_bilk_medicare_of_billions_each_yearsplur ge_on_sports_cars_horses_hotels_helicopters_.html

I would trade some savings in the Medifraud mess for a few thousand breast screenings or biopsies.

[Joan M]

Rhonda,

Please don't leave the board. I'll miss you, and the other board members will also miss you. You've been very supportive to all of us.

Best,

Joan

[rl2]

Regarding the comments on Medicare fraud - so, no Medicare? Is that the solution? You want to give up your Medicare when you turn 65? How about maybe some appropriate oversight? And who is perpetrating the fraud? The government? No, individuals, doctors, and health care providers. I doubt the government is trying to perpetrate Medicare fraud, its the doctors and patients and health care companies who are scamming the system for greed and profits - the notion that health care should be profit driven is at the heart of the problem.

Maybe if the system wasn't rigged with a profit motive, but completely controlled to provide appropriate care without profit, there would be no fraud.

Also, the comments in this thread about Dr. Love are completely inappropriate. She has devoted a lot of her time and effort to fight breast cancer. I am horrified and appalled to be part of a breast cancer support group that would allow the kind of comments to be made about her to be accepted.

[StephN]

I mentioned the Medifraud as another example of our BROKEN system, which is run amok. Because it IS full of loopholes; the scammers KNOW they can take advantage of it. Put these people in with the banks, home loans and the rest who have been allowed without restraint to perpetuate their frauds.

These people sucking dry our safety net are lower than low. I do have Medicare NOW, so am acutely aware of the endangerment of our entitlement systems. I get to pay more for my Medicare, without an increase in monthly amount for 2010.

How do we wipe the slate clean? This is bigger than all of us.

[rl2]

You are lucky to be covered by the government. I am younger (not much, 50's), our small business, which has 4 employees and 1 dependent pays close to 60,000 a year for Blue Cross health insurance for us. It is our major expense every year for all of us, and we do it because as far as we are concerned, one of the reasons we are in business is to pay for our health care expenses.

It is absurd. You try covering 60K a year for 4 employees plus 1 dependent. We need government reform. Try being a small business that covers these expenses. We need a government option.

Our money is going to administrative costs, for Anthem, their profits, etc., it is obscene.

I am very aware of this because we pay them, directly.