Please !!!!

[Joe]

Please be considerate to others in what you post on these boards. We have several members who are currently having problems responding to treatment so please temper your "sunshine" posts. There is a fine line between announcing and flaunting success in the face of others.

We DO look forward to good news and stories of inspiration, but remember others are not as fortunate. Sometimes I forward your posts of good news to various healthcare professionals to show them that their work does not go unappreciated.

I must admit that I do not have the time to read every post as I have done in the past. As our organization grows our advocacy becomes more complicated and more time consuming. We are currently involved in several projects which we feel will benefit everyone.

I do not want to be a censor nor should I be. I have always advocated an open forum and have very few forbidden topics. Politics being one of them.

Members have been great about reporting posts from people marketing drugs and cures on these boards. If you see a post that you feel is objectionable for any reason...please let me know !!!

Warmest Regards
Joe

[hutchibk]

I agree Joe that it is a fine line, and I have been reluctant to post successes at times when others are experiencing failures. But I have also experienced recurrences when others have been getting wonderful results, and so it goes, around and around. Such is the nature of this disease.

We are an amalgamation of people who share a common subset of cancer. That is truly the only common thread. Each one of us will come at it from a different perspective and a will have different fruit to bear on the subject. We all have different bodies, different doctors, different experiences, different approaches, different results, different psychology, different theories, different faiths, different spirituality, different treatments, different needs. We live in different countries, eat different diets, have different living situations, working situations, spousal (or not) situations. No one thing mentioned, offered, espoused, touted, expressed or experienced is going to apply to all who visit here.

In this cancer life, I have learned that one must attend to shared information with a proper personal skepticism and ability to suss out what makes sense for them and what doesn't. Some days, I am more open to some things and certain info than I might be on other days. But it is up to me to take it or leave it or to not click on a thread that I just don't have the energy for. I take personal responsibility when I am here. I don't blame anyone for what they post, unless they break the code of the site. I don't get upset by anyone who is too sunny or positive when I am feeling blue or worried for my situation. If it doesn't float my boat that day or that week, then I just don't go there. Life is about choices and I can't blame anyone else for the choices I make.

I come here because this is a family to me. A group of people who I share something in common with. I come here to try and contribute to the conversation, with my perspective, successes, and failures, hoping they might be helpful to someone else in their fight. And I have learned WELL beyond my initial expectations - many hints and ideas that have possibly saved my life more than once. I promise that is not an exaggeration. Before I became an active member, I read the forums and learned about brain mets and lapatinib trials. Scared me to death! Not knowing that I would ever need it, I kept that info in my back pocket for 4 years... running it by my doc who always said that "we are not there yet, it is not out of trials, and let's hope we don't ever need it." Well, we did and it has been a savior for me for 2.5 years.

This is a support group and those who are members post what is close to their heart... it is an outlet, a forum, and a tool; and sometimes it is a vent, a rant, a sadness or a fear. Often it is a question, a prayer, an overtly positive message, a success, or just an update with warts and all. And sometimes it is a propeller-head named Lani who shares the future with us in ways that makes us HOPE AND CHEER, even though we may not understand anything written in the trial results that she posts. That is what support groups are all about. Sometimes you take, sometimes you give, and sometimes you just sit back and let it happen around you.

That said, anyone who joins here looking for a site that fills only a narrow need that they have, is a true curiosity to me.

I hope all who visit here will take personal responsibility for their choices.

[jml]

So eloquently stated, Brenda.
I have nothing to add, other than to thank Joe & Christine for the tireless efforts they've invested to create this place for all of us to come and educate ourselves and each other, as well as to offer support or find a soft, safe place to fall when this journey gets too bumpy & frightening.
I wish none of us ever had to know one another - at least not under these circumstances. Some days I'm able to celebrate other's good news, while on other occassions, when I'm feeling less resilient, the Green-Eyed Monster may sneak in. We share an unforunate diagnosis that has rocked all of our world's in so many different ways.
May we all continue to go forward to be sensitive & responsible about why we are here and what we offer one another.

Ultimately, I do truly believe that successful treatment for any one of us is a victory for all of us.

Keep the Faith~

Jessica

[Barbara H.]

I can understand Joe's post, but I also agree with Brenda's and Jessica's reply. I have visited many online support groups, but this is the only one I have joined. When I first visited five years ago, I didn't know if I had three months. The stories here gave me "HOPE", although I knew we are all individuals with this complex disease and that I wouldn't necessarily follow the same road as others. While I have made it five years with mets, there have been bumps in the road and I appreciate the support I have been given.

All this being said, it is not easy to comfort someone who is not doing well. Again, we are all individuals, what works for one person may not work for another. When someone is not doing well, it seems important to acknowledge the situation, but also let her or him know your concern and that you care.

It's important to me that members feel free to post their experiences, both the good and the bad, and that we keep our hearts open to both.

Best regards,
Barbara H.

[Jean]

Ditto to all of the above...Brenda certainly nailed it.

We all come to the site with different stages, different dx. etc. It can be very frightening absorbing all the information (especailly when you are early stage)
so no matter which direction you are coming from
this cancer journey is a hard one.

I am so grateful for the wealth of information found here, the cyper friendships, the good luck to even meet face to face with some. If we start censuring the site and editing (as long as the posting remain correct) we are in trouble for sure and we will lose the very eccense of what you created Joe.

There are times I come here and I laugh, then there are the days I cry...along with the days I can share someone's good JOY.

We are collectively a wonderful community...like the song says, "don't go changing I love you just the way you are."

Jean

[Diane H]

I took a lot from all posts in this thread, thank you all.

[AbbyDawg]

Please be considerate to others in what you post on these boards. We have several members who are currently having problems responding to treatment so please temper your "sunshine" posts. There is a fine line between announcing and flaunting success in the face of others.

Thank you, Joe, for allowing all of us to speak.

[hutchibk]

Hi Abby - your italic is a little curious to me... I personally have never experienced a time when all were not allowed to speak. Joe does not allow or disallow to the best of my knowledge. He does, however, protect the dignity of the site. He goes out of his way to not single out ANY one person for subjective judgements... and we are all expected to be cordial and adult while here, somewhat self monitored. I think we do a pretty good job of that, no? I know that sales pitches, meanness, partisan politics and unnecessary controversies are monitored, as well they should be.

That said, who needs a nice ice cold lemonade or hefeweizen on this hot and steamy July afternoon?

I'm buying!

[chrisy]

OK Y'all
You guys (that includes the girls)

That was sure fun! All together now,

Breathe in
Breathe out
Breathe in
Breathe out

Same thing, all day long. For as many days as we have.

I love you ALL. Nobody else can understand me (us) except you (us).

Peace and MUCH MUCH love,
Chris

[WomanofSteel]

I think it's the sunshine posts that keep us all going!

[Becky]

I realize that this board is split with several different populations. There are the Stage 4 battlers who are undergoing additional treatment (sometimes with success or they are onto something new). There are the women who are newly diagnosed - thrown into the new world of cancerland and beginning treatment, there are the caregivers - hungry to stay on top of things to help their significant other. There are also those who have finished treatment (regardless of initial Stage) and are NED.

Each population has some of the same needs (such as wanting to stay on top of the newest treatments and standards of care. Or the latest on lifestyle prevention measures/supplements etc). However, there may be different needs within populations. Never the less, we are a group who is here for each other. I admit, I feel for those who are not responding to treatment or have been thrown for a loop in finding new METs elsewhere. I can honestly say I feel guilty about it that I am ok for now (enough that I rarely ever say that I am ok for now). However, I also don't post about potential problems either (aches, headaches) etc.

If we can't post the good or post the bad or post the side effects (which might be next as one woman might have horrible and unusual side effects to a drug that might be out of the norm. That post might scare somebody - so now those things can't be posted?) When will it stop? I suppose when there is nothing else to be able to say, eh? There won't be anything we will be allowed to post about at all. We can come on and see the Articles of Interest but won't be allowed to post.

I don't read every post on the board and I don't read some individuals posts at all. I suggest others do the same because we are a family and we aren't all going to get along so ignore the folks you don't want to read. It works well. Try it.

[Barbara H.]

Hi Brenda,
We could use some of your sunshine up here in the northeast. We have had the rainiest June I can remember, and it appears as if July will not be much better. I guess we will have to get our vitamin D with supplements this summer.
Best,
Barbara H.

[chrisy]

Well said Becky, as usual!

PS
I always read your posts because they remind me I am braver than I believe and stronger than I seem.

[Greg]

Hi all,

"De-cloaking" again here. I don't post often, because I really don't feel like I have much to offer. But I have been here weekly reading all of the post and trying to stay up on things as we worked our way through Vickie's treatments. Today is good news for us as today was her last chemo treatment and we feel we have reached a goal. Now of course we are on to radiation and the every 3 week herceptin, but we made it this far!

I want to say how much help these forums have been and continue to be to us. I also have to say that sometimes it's difficult to read the posts from those that are not doing well without feeling a little guilty that things are going so well for us. Eric and Marie, I just don't know what to say. I hope if I were in the same situation, I would be half as strong as you are. All I can do is make sure I pray for you as often as I can, and being the eternal optimist that I am, believe that a cure will be found in all of our lifetimes.

This thread really hit home because I was just thinking about this last week. I feel so sorry for people that are really struggling but yet so happy for those that have good news. Here is a dumb idea, but maybe Joe could start a forum for "Good News" or something like that and people that want to pass on such news could post there without having to worry as much about hurting other peoples feelings.

Thanks again for all of your wisdon, support and courage.

[Bill]

Greg, feel free to "de-cloak" whenever you wish. You are now a part of this site, and a part of this family. Congrats on Vickie's last chemo. treatment, and like you said, you have made it this far and you can make it all the way!

[Faith in Him]

I have posted both good and bad posts because my cancer journey continues. When I get good news I want to share my experience with others to encourage them. When I have bad news I need to be encouraged by the only people who truly understand. Just my two cents.

[Mary Jo]

Hi "sisters" & "brothers!" I truly do look at each of you in this way...... I check up OR should I say check in every day....often more than once per day. You see, I love you all, and feel the need to check in on those I love. I don't agree with everyone on this board either....but as Becky said......"ignore" is an option. Overall though, I care about everyone here.

I, too, do not like to talk too much about myself as I know that compared to what many of you go through, I have nothing much to contribute . However, I do like to encourage (or I try too) and praying for your needs is something I do as I read a post from someone going through a bad time.

Can I say this though.....as a 4 year NED survivor I continue to come back to grow and get stronger as I read of those of you who are stage 4 and struggling with constant treatment. I've learned through your strength and determination that if my cancer ever does return I know I can get through it as many of you do on a daily basis. I see your strength.....I see your determination and your posts build those of us up who often are preparing ourselves (although somewhat subconsiously) for the day our cancer MIGHT return........ALTHOUGH also learning to live one day at a time but still growing and learning in this world we were thrown into.

This post probably doesn't make a lot of sense (I tend to ramble http://her2support.org/vbulletin/images/icons/icon7.gif) but what does make sense (at least to me) is each of you - us.............OUR struggles and successes but most of all the love and understanding we all seek.

Hugs....

Mary Jo

[harrie]

What I very much appreciate about this online site is the wide variety of perspectives, opinions and experiences as well as joys, concerns, and emotions. It can provide just about anyone with a concern for breast cancer or related concern the help, support and ENCOURAGEMENT where needed. It also provides availability for an outlet of amusement totally outside of the cancer scene. Anyone can pretty much pick and choose what they would like to read without anything being forced upon them.
I have times when I need to distance myself from the site or particular subject areas within the site, depending on my moods or paranoias. But i am sure those threads are at the same time very much benefitting another member in other ways.
What I am not comfortable with is when I read abrasive undertones and negative criticism.

[harrie]

Greg, I believe someone did start a thread about sharing the good news, but I forgot what the name of that thread was! (and no,..... that was not a thread i was subconsciously trying to avoid!! hahahaha!!)

[madubois63]

Brenda, as usual, has the words and the spirit that just can't be beat. And Becky's point to ignore what you can't handle at a specific time is very good advice. There are times when I just can't be here physically or emotional for someone else; and I know to just stay away. But there are other times when you can't shut me up. The information, support and friendships here have saved my life so many times; truly. I learn about things that could happen and when they do happen to me, I am not so surprised and am able to make better decisions for a plan of attack than if I was totally in the dark. I for one have had things happen to me that the doctors don't always tell us about. I share what I can not to scare anyone, but to inform. This disease has become a chronic disease and we must all get through each step while working towards the cure THAT WILL COME. I've been through rough times, but always try to have fun in between. I hope that comes through in my posts and people know that no matter the stage, or diagnosis you can still have a good life. I appreciate Joe and Christine with all my heart and am very grateful to have a place to come and share the ups and downs. I am amazed at what everyone else has been through; I and gain so much strength through your stories. I also appreciate knowing that people care about me and are inspired by my journey. I hope never to offend.

[Brenda_D]

Now I feel bad for posting something good about my test results. Sorry if it offended anyone.

[Pam P]

I have been so moved by reading all you've posted here, the wisdom, acceptance, appreciation, experiences, insights, and I agree with you all. I have nothing to add - it has been all eloquently said. I just want to say how much I appreciate the connections to both support and medical facts that I gain here. I am grateful for Joe & Christine, without you none of us would have the benefit of this huge resource. And, like Maryann said, I hope never to offend anyone with my story, questions, or comments - certainly that is never my intention.

[Hopeful]

There is a feature on this Board that many may not be familiar with: the "ignore" list. While in one of the BB Forums, look at the menu bar across the very top of the page - there is a "User CP" link that is second from the left. Click on it, and you will get a menu down the left hand side of the page. The third major sub-heading on that menu is "Settings & Options." Under that sub-heading you will see, "Edit Ignore list." Click on that link, and you will get a screen that enables you to add the name of a member to your "ignore" list. If you enter a name, you will no longer view posts from that person when you log on. You can reverse it at any time.

I just wanted to point this out as a tool for members who may want to do their own censoring, as opposed to requesting the moderator do it on behalf of all.

Peace,

Hopeful

[Jean]

First of all,
This all began from a point of view that could have been avoided....

It hurts me to read that Brenda D now feels she should aplogize for her good news, that makes me feel very sad to read.

I also thank Hopeful for giving the instructions on how to avoid certain member who may post threads that you may not wish to view. Self censorship is what I beleive we have done in the past.

Like any group we will have difference of opinions and thoughts, hey that is what we are here for. If we all thought the same how could we benefit ourselves and others who join in.

In any great company or organization there are focus groups...in that body of people we never select the same personalities.

Joe I think the majority has shown that self censorship is the way to go....please...as long as the person posting is following the golden rule.

No name calling, we are grown women who are all fighting the same monster. I think of us as a huge patch quilt with each person bringing a beautiful patch of color that holds experiences, emotions, thoughts, humor,tears, joy....with this site we are one huge blanket that covers all of us and I feel protected and safe while here.

I am troubled by the recent events that brought this on,
now we have members who are now afraid to post their joy....that is a shame. All one has to do is click like Hopeful advised.

:(
Jean

[hutchibk]

Hear! Hear! Jean ~

[suzan w]

Yikes, go away for a few days and miss what's going on! I will admit when I first read Joe's post, I felt sort of like Brenda, guilty for posting good news. But after reading all the replies...some of them several times, I feel OK now! It is so true that we are all like family here. I have come to this board since I first heard the words, "you are Her2 positive, and that is a bad prognosis" (from a not-so-tactful-surgeon!). So I googled Her2 and eventually found this board and joined...that was June 2005. I feel like I know so many of us here although I have only met a few personally. I am closer to you here than to my own sister, and my partner, as far as sharing cancer fears, joys etc. I cry from the pain when one of us is not doing well, and I cry with happiness when we share our success stories. I do not know what I would do without this board! And judging by the response to Joe's post, we all feel personally connected!

[Joe]

Success Stories !!!!

Keep em coming. We do forward some of these posts to the patient advocate reps of some pharma companies.

This sometimes leads to opportunities for both our group and the member; as well as inspiring new members that it can be done.

Who does not want to be the next Barbara Bradfield !!!

To Hopeful: "There is a feature on this Board that many may not be familiar with: the "ignore" list. While in one of the BB Forums, look at the menu bar across the very top of the page - there is a "User CP" link that is second from the left. Click on it, and you will get a menu down the left hand side of the page. The third major sub-heading on that menu is "Settings & Options." Under that sub-heading you will see, "Edit Ignore list." Click on that link, and you will get a screen that enables you to add the name of a member to your "ignore" list. "

I guess that explains why no one listens to me.


Regards
Joe

[hutchibk]

LOL - Joe!

Awww, I would never tune you out! You rock my world...

[hutchibk]

I would like to add - posting good news is not offensive. Neither is posting bad news. Please don't apologize for posting about either when you want to share. Please do not feel guilty for where you are, whether it be Stage I, NED, or a Stage IV thriving for an exponential number of years. Please don't withhold posting either, unless it makes you feel better to wait a few days. I admit, I do that sometimes, but other times I just jump right in if the water feels good. That is what we are here for! We are a support group. In my opinion, what IS offensive is to fear monger, name call, disparage, deride, mock, dismiss, slight, scorn, disdain, or insult. If you disagree with someone, it's OK to speak up if you feel strongly about it, but it is the customary and implied code of this site to simply state that you disagree and say why, without engaging in any of those behaviors and inflaming unnecessary controversy, or another choice is to simply move on and don't go there at all. Quite simply, it is about respecting each other and being cordial, even in disagreement. Please don't feel a need to apologize unless you feel you have engaged in disrespectful and/or insulting behavior...

As one who has pretty strong opinions about certain things in this life, I have had to rethink a time or two before posting responses... and have embraced the need to understand that this site is intended to be a gentle landing spot for those of us with HER2 breast cancer. A gentle place to learn how to cope with our dx. A gentle place to share what works for us when fighting this disease day in and day out. A gentle place to learn the reality surrounding our cancer lives, especially when it is devastating. A gentle place to learn about the science and discoveries. A gentle place to ask questions. And a gentle place to support each other as we face the fear of the uncertainty.

For those (including me) who do frequent other sites on the internet... news sites, opinion forums, etc., this site is different from those. You have to change your hat, your brain, and your mood when you come here. This is a shared experience, not intended to be an opinion/debate driven forum. This site is a valuable tool and a place for understanding, learning, sharing and respect for the process.

[tricia keegan]

I'm coming in late on this one as always with the time difference, but agree with Brenda's comments overall. My heart breaks for those in dire difficulties but I love sharing in the good news too.
While I'm not stage iv, anyone with her2+ (at least pre herceptin) can't help but put themselves in that situation and understand what other's are going through to a degree.
I moderate on the advanced forum of another bc site and am always delighted to pass on good news from someone here in the hope of providing some optimism if someone is doing badly.
When I meet anyone her2+ I direct them here, to me it's the most informative and supportive and knowledgable site to go to if you have this type of cancer. While I don't always understand Lani 's posts I love reading them and often quote them.
I think all the member's here have a deep and genuine feeling for those less fortunate as we truely know in a hairs breath we could be there too.
And Joe...of course we always listen to you:)

[Lien]

When I first came to these forums, I was newly diagnosed, and the posts about stage IV scared me away. But I kept dropping in from time to time, because I'm her2 pos and because this is such a special group of people. Now that I'm 5 yrs out from diagnosis and not so scared anymore, I can read the tough posts about struggling, dying and horrible side effects without getting too upset. And I sometimes look at the threads as if through the eyes of a newby and think: there should be hope here as well. So when I have good news, I share it. Perhaps I shouldn't have. But on the other hand: the newly diagnosed need us too. It's a fine line indeed.

Anyway, I hope I don't offend or hurt those of you who are struggling with this ƒ∞§¶§¶!*!!! disease, dealing with awful side effects from therapy or feeling sad, scared, desperate or angry.

Jacqueline

[Hopeful]

Joe,

"I guess that explains why no one listens to me."

ROFL!! You got me with that one!

If there were a "priority" list feature, you would be at the top of mine.

Hopeful

[suzan w]

I have to laugh about that comment too, Joe...I always "hear" you loud and clear!!!

[Sheila]

Some of these are too good not to pass on....it puts a whole different perspective on each on of us, and what truly is important.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer,
Cleveland , Ohio

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life
taught me.. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your
friends and parents will. Stay in touch

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in
it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't
worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the
second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't
take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy
lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.


25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five
years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything
you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone
else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

[Bill]

Wow, Sheila, that's awesome! I agree with all of them except #44. (I'm persistent to a fault). I was going to make a personal request of Joe, but after your post I feel I should wait awhile............................................ .......................................
.................................................. ...........................................
.................................................. ...........................................
.................................................. ............................................
Hey, Joe, can we make a new feature on the "User CP" where we can change someone else's avatar picture if we don't like it? The reason I bring this up (I personally think it's a great idea) is that Greg's new avatar when seen right next to mine makes me look, aw, I don't know, sorta silly, but I want to keep mine for awhile, but change his. Greg's avatar might seem really cool to some, but I just think I should change it to something that makes me look better. (maybe like a fake picture of Greg watching TV in a ratty T-shirt with mustard down the front, I don't know, I'm just brain-storming here) I think this is highly do-able and would greatly benefit the site. Joe, I know you probably want to think about this one awhile, so we can discuss it over the grill Saturday. I know what you're thinking and yes! I will remember the limes this time.

[chrisy]

Bill,
I think you need to reread #13 in Sheila's post. And maybe #29. You already know about #32.

Who says a big leaf of chard isn't as scary or dangerous as a shark cage? I mean, really, you've got that thing ACTUALLY touching your head!!!! Are you CRAZY????

[chrisy]

I have to say, I agree with everything everyone has said here. And I love how it now is now heading completely off the rails...

Sort of like when you have a big fight with a spouse or other important person in your life - it gets scarier and scarier until someone says something silly to break the tension.

Because in the end, what really matters, what you really value, is the relationship.

Said it before and I'll say it again...I love you ALL:)

[Brenda_D]

I try to be careful and realize that some are fighting a bigger or longer battle. I remember when I was dx'ed and told it was stage4. I was in a fog of unreality for 6 months, and I appreciated the help and hope I got here.
When I re-staged at 3, I was of course happy, but also furious at my 3 doctors who never ordered the bone scan to verify staging. They just blew it off, but I know how deeply affected I was, and still am to some degree, because those words never go away completely.
I understand fighting this disease.
I may not always jump in to threads or conversations because I'm not one that finds it easy to communicate with others.
I do post a little in another forum and have read posts from newly dx'ed women that are begging for good stories, and reports of long time survivors.
I have recently posted to some of those in hope that it gives some comfort to them in knowing this disease can be overcome at least to some point or for some amount of time.
I know sometimes I like reading success stories.

Joe, you can tell Genentech that Herceptin has worked it's magic for me.

[Mary Jo]

That's what I was going to say Chrisy........so now I'll just say...."me too!"

Hugs....

[Catherine]

Wow, as usual, I am impressed by the well meaning and well written people on this site. It is the only site I visit. I have learned so much and have felt so connected and supported ever since I signed on Dec 2006. If I start reading a post that upsets me, I just ignore it. I appreciate that every once in a while Joe makes a comment about keeping the site thoughtful, but I also understand that we do not want to be "censored."

So I agree, lets breath in and out and try to take most things with a grain of salt. I, too, feel guilty sometimes, because I am NED. But I pray for everyone on this site, and know that you are there for me, even if right now I am not as needy as I was 3 years ago.

Love you all, C

[Laurel]

I come to this site to be inspired. Inspired by the courage of those who fight this disease with every weapon available and endure the travail of seemingly endless chemo and "zappings." Their astonishing bravery makes me believe I can face whatever the future has to offer because they have gone before me.

I am equally inspired by the successes, both small and large, of everyone on this board. Reports of NED thrill me with that priceless treasure...hope.

A heartfelt thank you to all who post and participate on this site. You make me proud to be among you.

[nitewind]

Here I am, late again but I'm here.
I just want to say that I love this board and these people so much that I don't know what I would do or what I would have done without them.
When I first came here, I was newly diagnosed and panic stricken. As I read along, I became encouraged to add a post or a thought (I'm not very good at that,as you may have noticed). I read of everyones treatments and found a lot of them were like mine.
I was given so much encouragement that I suddenly got to thinking.."hey, I just might make it afterall".
Like everyone else, I've done my share of crying here but I've also been overjoyed. I guess that's the way it is in life....good and bad. But, I always know where I can come either for advice or just companionship and understanding. No one can understand me like the people on this board.
I am so utterly amazed and encouraged by so many here. When I read Maryanns posts, all that she's been thru, and still....look at the smile on her face. It gives me so much hope. After being here so long, I now have that "Never give up" attitude, and it's all thanks to all of you here. I wish I could give something back, just know that I love all of you and you're always in my prayers.
Big warm hugs

[Audrey]

Just wanted to chime in with a comment about the list of life-lessons posted by Sheila. The author, Regina Brett, is a columnist for our local Cleveland paper--she is not 90 years old, only in her late forties but she is a breast cancer survivor and has spoken to various cancer survivor groups in the area over the years. She credits her cancer journey with many of the insights on her list--thought we all could appreciate one of the main sources of her acquired wisdom.

[Diane H]

I've said it before but gonna say it again. What a wonderful forum this is. I learn so much listening to all of you. And often a great deal of comfort. While I wish that I could be as eloquent as many of you, it's nice to know you all are here to take care of that. When I was first diagnosed and in the grip of terror and despair that comes, this site I truly believe kept me sane. My poor husband found that out when our computer took a nose dive and I was unable to log on. I had a melt down and all I could articulate to him was how desperately I needed to be able to access this site. Sharing the good, the bad and the ugly, it's all part of the journey.
With love, Diane

[Diane H]

....almost forgot the most important thing, how grateful I am to Joe and Christine. Thank you.

[Greg]

Bill said "Greg's avatar might seem really cool to some, but I just think I should change it to something that makes me look better. (maybe like a fake picture of Greg watching TV in a ratty T-shirt with mustard down the front"

LOL Bill, that wouldn't be a fake picture of me at all, more of a "Greg in his natural state and condition" photo!

The shark cage picture was taken last October in Hawaii and that's Vickie and me in there surrounded by about 50 sharks. I felt like "reverse sushi" in there and definitely can sympathize with the lobsters in the lobster tank at the seafood restaurant. It was before we found out about Vickie's cancer. To me it sort of depicts how we felt at first, sort of besieged by all of the scary things that were around us, feeling really alone with little help in sight. This board was like Jacques Cousteau and the Cavalry showing up!

By the way, do NOT change your avatar, I actually laughed out loud the first time I saw it. I needed that.

[ElaineM]

I thought I would chime in to say that I like this message board just the way it is. People share, are inspired by and celebrate each other's successes. We sympathize with each other's pain. We pray for the people who are experiencing pain or difficult times. We can learn from each other's successes, and pain. We are after all human beings and behave like human beings in the non cyber world. The way we are is one of the reasons I joined this board. I signed up with a couple other boards, but I don't visit those boards as often, because I don't feel the warmth and friendship between humans that I feel here.

[rl2]

I think all members should be allowed to post whatever they think or feel, I am not sure censorship serves any purpose; people can read or not read what they want. My only concern sometimes is that there are posts in which people are trying to sell things, for instance, a book, which I find intrusive; I don't mind a suggestion, but there are instances where its more than that. Are these patients or authors? I thought this was a group for fellow patients or caregivers.

I personally find that part of these forums a bit off putting.

[Terri B]

Dang, What'd I miss???????

[CourtneyL]

I too come to this site to be inspired and am grateful to all of you for sharing your successes. A little over a year ago I was 30 years old, diagnosed with widespread metastatic disease and told that I had very little time left. I was frightened, angry, and sad beyond belief. And then I found this site. I began reading the success stories and I began to believe. You made me a believer and contribute more than you could ever know to the eternal hope that I carry in my heart. I cheer for you when you have success and my heart aches for you when things are not so great. I love to be able to share my good news and success with you and plan on doing so for a long time to come. Just had a PET/CT last week and look forward to updating you with good news once again when I get the results.

Even though we are mostly strangers, I consider you my "family" and am grateful to Joe and Christine for all they do to help us in this topsy turvey journey.

[hutchibk]

Reverse sushi!!! I love that Greg... almost made me spit my tea all over the keyboard. Thanks!

[freyja]

CourtneyL, best wishes for good results of your scan. We're here with you...waiting...waiting.....why do results take so long to get?!!!