Joy
08-21-2008, 08:33 AM
Hello to all of you, I always have such a hard time posting after we experience losses. I am so sad about Vanessa and Karen and Leroy Sievers. It is that gripping kind of grief that takes hold and doesn't let go to some degree forever. I reiterate the sentitment that I hate this disease. I just hate that whenever things are going well despite cancer-it is still there messing that up.
Anyway, I have now had 4 treatments of Herceptin DM1. So far I feel pretty good. The headache and fatigue that I experience seem pretty consistent with the treatment. Meaning that for 5ish days after the dose I have a headache and feel pretty tired. I bounce back and feel pretty good overall. Given that I have experienced hair loss, nausea, bone pain, hand/foot syndrome all pretty badly in the past-I will take this fo' sho'.
My first CT after 2 treatments showed no progression. So the crap has stopped growing. My tumor markers after 3 treatments showed a gradual decline. Nothing huge, but steady decrease. I am working on thinking that this is great. I know it is, I just want it gone and gone now (you all know how it is). So my doc and I have decided that it is working. What do you real experts think? And for those of you for whom this has worked was it gradual or dramatic in your responses?
Meanwhile, my girls have both started school. Both in new schools as one child graduated 6th grade and the other could not go on in our small private school as it had to close:( So this is a big transition year for us. My oldest began 7th grade at an Outward Bound Expeditionary based school and I am very excited for her. I can't believe she is old enough to be in jr. high. She was excited on the first day as we were driving there, but once we got in the building (this school goes through high school) and there were so many more kids than what she was used to and so many older, bigger kids-the look on her face said it all. She was wide-eyes and you could SEE the nerves. When I looked at her I had the weirdest visual experience of seeing my hairless, blue-eyed, chubby baby-not the young woman she is becoming. And, just like her first day of pre-k, I had to go out to the parking lot and cry.
My youngest started at a smallish private school in 4th grade with a fabulous teacher and she was the one I was most worried about as she has always had separation issues. She was great. She had a great day and you could tell how proud she was to be there and to have enjoyed her first day. I am very excited and proud as well.
Luca and I are great and our kids are getting along so very well. It is so wonderful. On Sunday we all did school supply shopping (an earthly form of Hell) and then the kids were playing freeze tag in his backyard and we were watching from a window. He hugged me and said, "this is everything. This is everything I could have ever hoped for...to be watching our kids play and be happy and to share that with you. I haven't ever really had that to share with anyone and I love that it is you and your kids." I was feeling the same way and it was heavenly. We were feeling so blessed.
On the way home my kids were talking about if Luca and I got married what the logistics would be. I was very happy that they loved the idea. Luca and I have never discussed this ourselves, but we are thrilled that both my kids and his feel this way. I adore his kids. They are polite and smart and thoughtful and sweet and funny and adorable. It is a real reflection of their dad who has done almost all of the child rearing.
Now I just need to survive this stupid cancer so we can have that future. Is that really possible or just a stupid hope?
Love to all of you and yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
Anyway, I have now had 4 treatments of Herceptin DM1. So far I feel pretty good. The headache and fatigue that I experience seem pretty consistent with the treatment. Meaning that for 5ish days after the dose I have a headache and feel pretty tired. I bounce back and feel pretty good overall. Given that I have experienced hair loss, nausea, bone pain, hand/foot syndrome all pretty badly in the past-I will take this fo' sho'.
My first CT after 2 treatments showed no progression. So the crap has stopped growing. My tumor markers after 3 treatments showed a gradual decline. Nothing huge, but steady decrease. I am working on thinking that this is great. I know it is, I just want it gone and gone now (you all know how it is). So my doc and I have decided that it is working. What do you real experts think? And for those of you for whom this has worked was it gradual or dramatic in your responses?
Meanwhile, my girls have both started school. Both in new schools as one child graduated 6th grade and the other could not go on in our small private school as it had to close:( So this is a big transition year for us. My oldest began 7th grade at an Outward Bound Expeditionary based school and I am very excited for her. I can't believe she is old enough to be in jr. high. She was excited on the first day as we were driving there, but once we got in the building (this school goes through high school) and there were so many more kids than what she was used to and so many older, bigger kids-the look on her face said it all. She was wide-eyes and you could SEE the nerves. When I looked at her I had the weirdest visual experience of seeing my hairless, blue-eyed, chubby baby-not the young woman she is becoming. And, just like her first day of pre-k, I had to go out to the parking lot and cry.
My youngest started at a smallish private school in 4th grade with a fabulous teacher and she was the one I was most worried about as she has always had separation issues. She was great. She had a great day and you could tell how proud she was to be there and to have enjoyed her first day. I am very excited and proud as well.
Luca and I are great and our kids are getting along so very well. It is so wonderful. On Sunday we all did school supply shopping (an earthly form of Hell) and then the kids were playing freeze tag in his backyard and we were watching from a window. He hugged me and said, "this is everything. This is everything I could have ever hoped for...to be watching our kids play and be happy and to share that with you. I haven't ever really had that to share with anyone and I love that it is you and your kids." I was feeling the same way and it was heavenly. We were feeling so blessed.
On the way home my kids were talking about if Luca and I got married what the logistics would be. I was very happy that they loved the idea. Luca and I have never discussed this ourselves, but we are thrilled that both my kids and his feel this way. I adore his kids. They are polite and smart and thoughtful and sweet and funny and adorable. It is a real reflection of their dad who has done almost all of the child rearing.
Now I just need to survive this stupid cancer so we can have that future. Is that really possible or just a stupid hope?
Love to all of you and yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!