Memories of Lolly

[Lolly's Son]

I'm sure her family and friends would love to hear any stories you have of meeting my mother, spending time with her or even any memories you might have from communicating on the forum.

I like to think about when just a couple years ago she had the greatest garden going up above the house here. Of course dad was a large part of it also but for her it was kind of her baby. Every time I came over in the summer when she gardened, there she would always be in her straw hat and rubber boots picking away at something. Rows and rows of everything you could imagine all tended to so meticulously. You never had to guess where to walk, but that was just her. Some things she wouldn't even let me touch because I might contaminate it with an outside bug of some sort hahaha.

[kcherub]

Big hugs to you and your family! Lolly always had something to say--she had such a great spirit about her...

Take care,

[Sheila]

Bo
I met your Mom 5 years ago when I happened upon this board...we were "node sisters"...both swapping stories of what treatments we were on for the suprclavicular nodes, which truly are the most stubborn. I went through a few rough spots with my little grandaughter who was very ill and your Mom was so caring and comforting...I could feel the love and compassion...even the hugs half way across the country. She taught me to always be positive, and live and cherish each day....she was a role model to all whose path she crossed on this board, and I am forever grateful to have been blessed in knowing her and getting knowledge and advice from her. We have truly lost a valuable member, but her merits and memories will live in my heart forever.
Sending much love to you, your sister and your Dad. Thank you for sharing your Mom, she was such a true inspiration to others.

[sarah]

She was amazing. we will remember her
hugs and love sarah

[Vi Schorpp]

As you can tell, your mother will be sorely missed from this site. Yes, you were both so lucky to have such a positive person in your life from day one. I think you did hit the parental lottery with all the good we've heard about your father too. May God hold you in the palm of his hands until you meet your mother again.

I thought you might find the following of comfort, since it brought comfort to your mother.


Our Deepest Fear"
Lolly

[RobinP]

Your mom was a great angel on this site and will be missed. Thank you for sharing with us more about your mother.

[goops]

My sincere sympathies to you and your family, Lolly was a inspiration to the other members here. She will be missed.

[Becky]

I was diagnosed in August 2004 and joined the board in October.

I was petrified that I was Her2+ and like your mom, Herceptin was not available for adjuvant treatment unless you were Stage 4. What was amazing to me was your mother and others, who did progress to Stage 4, not only gave me hope that I wouldn't recur but also showed me that if I did, it wasn't an immediate death sentence and I could have many, many years with my children, 2 of whom were still in elementary or high school. I was diagnosed just before my oldest daughter went to college. It is unfortunate that your mother became too ill to know that just a few weeks ago, she graduated college. And I will also see my other children graduate too because your mother was one of many that encouraged me to fight for adjuvant Herceptin before it was standard and I was not into advocacy as much as I am now because of women like her. I was encouraged to dump a doctor (onc) who was just not right for me (and IMHO - right for anyone at all). When I got a new lump she was the first to respond and tell me to not count my chickens before they hatched and she was right - it was only a cyst!

I am heartbroken about your mother's death. I did not realize she was so ill and I feel terrible about it. She was a fighter and did go through so many differing treatments. However, I am sure ALL my Her2 sisters will agree with me - Lolly NEVER,NEVER, NEVER once complained. Never! Never a woe is me. She carefully would explain what symptoms or difficulties she encountered only so we would all know what to expect if we needed that drug or treatment. She TAUGHT us - not only about treatment but about how to be a true lady who was fiercely devoted to those she loved - your father - who she spoke of with great respect and of you.

Of course we know her as our Lolly and we know her in a way you will never know her but surely you can guess. But you know her in the best way because except for one or two of us, you have hugged her and kissed her and talked to her all your life. Its the hugging that is the best and you got that. And we have her words which is a different kind of love and relationship that the ones who get the hugs don't get enough of because with words comes infinite wisdom that is handed down through the generations. So in a sense, we shared her in different ways - through hugs, kisses and words.

I am truly sorry for your loss. We have all lost a great woman.

[DonnaD]

Lolly's family,
As you can see we all share a different piece of the wonderful person Lolly was. For me, the first impression of Lolly was her photo. She and her husband looked so happy. Because of that photo knew I could fight too. And I knew there was more to this cancer than treatments, there was also true happiness. I saw that in her smile.

She was the first one to respond to my post when I finished chemo and rejoiced with me. I will always remember her knowledge and encouragement when I had a question about a CT.

We will all miss our part of Lolly. She touched so many sisters on this board. I hope memories will comfort you and prayers will carry you throught this most difficult time.

Donna

[sally]

I was just looking back at Lolly's last post. It was not even a week before she died. She still sounded positive and upbeat except for her back pain. I guess I am still in shock that she is gone. At least she is at peace and not in pain. We all must find the positive and be upbeat about all things in life. I have always thought of Lolly very often and I will continue to do so. It is still so very sad..... Sally

[Joan M]

Bo,

I'm sorry about your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Your mom was very special to this board.

Regards,

Joan

[MCS]

What I remember of your mom is her fighting spirit and her willingness to comment for all the ailments all us have here.
I also her picture on the board. Always hugging her husband with the biggest smile of appreciating what she had in him and all of you

My prayers for all of you and my prayers to the big guy above that will hold her in his arms and rock her to sleep in the night sky
love

Maria

[Catherine]

I think I met your mom about January 2007. I was new to the board and your mom and I noticed that we were both from Oregon. At that time, I was still kind of scared and your mom, like others gave me hope that things were not so dire. For a diversion at that time, I reveled in the Tiptoe conversations. Lolly and I were going to meet in Salem and take Tiptoe to lunch and then to meet the Governor. We had a lot of giggles planning the get together. We actually both got too busy and then decided there were many people on the Tiptoe list and that we would let Tiptoe fly over Oregon in route to Montanta. I, too, loved the beach picture and how happy your parents looked. Lolly's posts were always encouraging to everyone, and you knew that she had been around the block. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sister and father. May Lolly's love embrace you from above.

Catherine

[Lori]

Lolly was a hero to me after I was diagnosed with HER2. She gave so much encouragement at that time when I was scared and did not know what to expect.

[julierene]

Her words and wisdom gave me so much comfort. She was such a wonderful woman. I will miss her!

[ElaineM]

Thank you very much for sharing memories of Lolly. I didn't know her well, but she was a much loved member of this board.

[Catherine]

Thinking of Lolly and her family. I am sure this has been a long year. I just reread her son's post about her lovely, meticulous garden. Lolly was a friend and support to all and we all miss her.

Catherine

[rinaina]

Lolly was a very special her2 sister to all. She was always there with a helpful response and enouragement. She was and always will be a very special angel to all.

[mamacze]

Dear Bo,
When I think of this Her2Support web site; I think of Lolly. Way back in 2004, when I first logged on, scared to death of my cancer and lost in the maize of clinical trials, your dear sweet angelic mama came swooping in to calm me right down. With a smile in her words, she explained that this diagnosis is not an immediate death sentence. she put me in touch with other sisters who are living with a metastatic diagnosis. She introduced me to the Seattle clinical trials - my only regret is that I didn't have the opportunity to get (and give!) a real time hug from her.
How fortunate she was to have you...a son who loves you; why there is no greater gift on earth to a mama than that.
Your mom always had a kind word, thoughts of encouragement and a smile in her voice. I can only imagine the joyful memories she left as a gift for you to cherish.
Thank you for logging on. It is a wonderful ray of light to communicate with Lolly's son....Lolly's sun.....she has left us with radiant memories...we loved chatting with her ... she certainly earned her wings; she will be sorely missed.
Love Kim from Ct

[Believe51]

What I would love to share is that your Mother rescued me from the evils of my husband's horrific breast cancer journey. Lolly was one of the first to respond to my desperate cries for help, love and support. I found her advice and knowledge helpful in our most vulnerable beginning, I respected her opinions, I valued her loving support. My Angel Lolly provided us hope and inspiration when we felt there was none. This fighter allowed us to better understand what was happening to him and taught us how to fight it. She was always so supportful to us all here and was such an inspiration to all. The wonderful thing about this group is that Mom will continue to inspire us for a lifetime. Her words are etched in the nucleus of this site and so are the other Warriors who have earned their wings. She is active in my mind, she lives in my heart and I continue to feel her magic.

I went to a breast cancer survivor benefit last year and made a beautiful t-shirt. On the front of this shirt was a picture of my husband and above was the words....Still Fighting. Adorned on the back was written Remembered....and I smiled as I cried ironing all of the names of my Angels. I proudly wore Mom's name on my back for all of the thousands of people to see....For them to know how many Angels have touched my heart. Yes Sweetheart, I was so proud of her and always will be; not just experiencing her breast cancer journey along with her, but especially for the person she was and how she let us share ours. We got to share our journeys together and we were never alone, she saw to that no matter what she had on her plate.

These names on my back I still wear proudly as I tribute their honor and the very special place they hold in my life and heart forever. I still feel the loss of my friend, she was an energy in my life and I still feel her power. If I get sad I will grab the shirt and sit down to read her posts. She had an energy, a magic about her and I feel like such a better person, a better fighter because I got to love this most amazing person. So My Dear, I cannot say enough about the bond Ed and I shared with Mom. To this day I give thanks for being able to share that time knowing such a courageous Warrior...for many years to come to. Her positive and happy demeanor still lives in my heart, I still see her smile.

Thanks for allowing us to speak outloud since it looks like we all needed this. It is nice to see this tribute to a woman I will never get over not speaking to anymore. (well, I still talk to her as I give thanks and I always give her a smile too....Ssshhhh, our secret)>>Believe51~MarieG

[flynny]

I just would like to offer my sympathy to you and your family. Although I did not know her, I pray that she is looking down upon all of us and helping us continue to be positive.

[Unregistered]

Hello everyone!

This is Lolly's son again! I'm here tonight reading some of mom's postings, tearing up like all heck of course. There are times when it just feels as if nothing has happened since she passed, just like it was yesterday.. Damnit do I ever miss her.

I just wanted to let you all know we are hanging in there, dad's having a really rough go of it but he's slogging along like the trooper that he is. He doesn't think he'll ever get over it and he's probably right.

We both bought Kayaks the next summer and took some really nice trips down rivers and around some lakes. Very bitter-sweet for him as their first date was a canoeing trip, we float that same section of river frequently.

Anne is engaged to be married soon to a great guy, work is great, she loves her job and is advancing well. She has taken over the holidays in place of mom, which is fine by dad and I, I doubt we could handle it ourselves.

It's amazing how many little private reminders of mom are hidden around the house, It's to the point now where I can take one look at dad and know that he found something. Very sad indeed.

I have taken up with an old love, music and music gear, and am close to launching a small business building custom amplifiers and effects pedals. I can tell you that mom would be ecstatic, which makes me very proud. The night she passed I told her that I would get back into music as she was the happiest for me when I was in that environment.

I doubt I need to tell any of you how much you meant to her. I can say that I'm sure if she could, she would wish you all the best and leave you her love.

-Bo

[Gerri]

Bo,

What a wonderful tribute to your mother that you came back to this site to reminisce about her. It sounds like you are doing your best to move forward but sometimes it is difficult to do so when such an important person is missing from your life. It is obvious that your mom and dad did a wonderful job raising such a caring son. With sweet Lolly continuing to inspire you, I am sure your new music venture will be a huge success.

Thanks for stopping in and giving us an update. Much love to you and your family as you continue to find your way.

[Jackie07]

Ditto to what Gerri has written. My Mother-in-law passed away just half year after your Mom - Father-in-law is still in grief and we all miss her presence.

Please take good care of yourself and your Dad. And thanks for the update - your posting provides comfort to all of us.

[Lori R]

BO,
I so appreciate the update.

I wanted you to know that members of this board remember your mother and continue to hold fond memories of her generosity and kindness.

She was an inspiration to me in so many regards.

Lori

[mamacze]

Hi Bo!
What a ray of sunshine your email was in my in-box this morning! Few things are more joyful than a heart filled remembering of Lolly. I have no doubt that Lolly was nudging you, in her own way; to log on and share memories and best wishes. Ever the teacher; I wonder if in her wisdom, she realized that your words to us would be heart warming; while our words back to you may be a bit of salve on a lonely hole in your heart. It makes me wonder at how miraculous a small dose of love is...and how nice to hear that your family is able celebrate Lolly through your kayaking trips and small every day remembrances. Lolly must be so pleased, now that you have embraced the music career that was always near and dear to your heart. And now your sister Anne is engaged to be married to a nice guy...what mother doesn't long for a "nice" guy for her daughter; Lolly must be over the moon!
Thank you so much, Bo, for this "shout out", these words of remembering and the joy of knowing that you are all still cradling Lolly's memory with love. You just made my day.
Love
Kim from CT

[Soccermom]

Dear Bo,
It IS so lovely of you to come back here to remember your Mom.
What a dear sweet person and she is missed.
Thank you for making my day too!

Gentle hugs,Marcia

[tricia keegan]

Thank you Bo for coming back to say hi and think fondly of Lolly, as many of us here still do:)
She would indeed be very proud of you all, I lost my own Mum suddenly in Sept and can relate to how much we miss our Mothers when they're no longer with us. My best wishes to you and your family and I'm sure your Mom is smiling down on you all from Heaven:)

[Becky]

Dear Bo

Many of us think about Lolly so much. As many have said before me, yours was a joyful note because all the members of this board are a family - a different kind of family but we are bound none the less. As such, it is wonderful to hear from you and know that you are all on a good, healing path.

Much love to you and your family

[Barbara H.]

Thank you Bo for posting your heartfelt feelings about your mom. I always enjoyed hearing from Lolly, and still think of her. It was kind of you to come back and share your feelings.
Best wishes,
Barbara H.

[Joan M]

Bo,

Your mom was a wonderful member of this board, and she is an inspiration to me and many of us here. Thank you for letting us know how you and the family are doing.

Joan

[KDR]

I did not know your mother, doesn't matter...look at all the previous posts...my condolences to someone so well loved,
Karen

[PinkGirl]

Bo, your mom was such an important part of our group and we
miss her very much. Thanks for checking in with us. Stay well.

[sassy]

Bo,

Thanks for bring us back some memories of Lolly too. Your mom was a great help and inspiration to me and will always have a special place in the HER2Support family.

Best wishes as you and your family go forward.

[Pam P]

Bo, your message made me cry.... what a loving son and family. Lolly was an amazing woman and lucky to have you as a son. Pam

[Sheila]

Bo, thank you so much for coming back and updating all of us. Your Mom was a dear friend to me...my node sister here on the board, and the first person who reached out to me....she will always be close to my heart as I continue my battle...I learned immensley from my dear Lolly....thank you for sharing with us, and most importantly, for sharing your Mom! She is truly missed here!

[sherri]

Bo,

Your Mom was an angel, she was very smart and the kindest of all. She is so missed in my heart. I remember when I was diagnosed and didn't know what to do, just coming to this site and see her beautiful face gave me hope. To me she is one of those stars in the sky that even she is not with us anymore but still we can see her light for years and years.
Good luck with your music.

Love and hug,

Sherri