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Bill
04-29-2008, 06:57 PM
I moved to Arizona for a few years in the 90's. I know what y'all are thinking right now, the same thing I was back then when I had the opportunity presented to me to relocate "out there". "Arizona? Where the heck is that? Is that a real place? I thought it was just something made up for cowboy movies, just a bunch of sand right?", (mentally picturing the Sahara or Gobi desert) I found out it really is a real place, and when you arrive there, either by car or airplane, I mean you don't get a kiss or a lei or an Aloha or welcome to Arizona or nothin'. You stick your hand out and whoever greets you just says, "shake your shoes out every morning 'fore you put 'em on." I say, "Excuse me?" They say, "Scorpions. They like to get in your boots and shoes." I gulp a little and say, "they 'LIKE' it?!!" "Twould appear so, as much as they do it. Just shake 'em out in the morning" At this point, I'm halfway freakin' out. Call me a wimp if you want to, but I don't like scorpions, at all. "you mean scorpions are a real thing? Like that little lobster thing that sneaks up on you and stings you and can kill you?" My welcoming committee snorted a little, and said,"they gen'rally don't sneak, they just wait on ya, and if they do sting ya, it won't kill ya, likely, just make ya wish you was dead" Needless to say, after that sweet welcome, I shook my boots and shoes out everyday, religiously, while I lived in Arizona (good news- I lived there 2 years and only killed 13 scorpions in my house) and I continue the pracitice of shaking my shoes out every morning to this day, even though I've moved back to Virginia,......except for one day about 3 months ago. I got up late for work, took a quick shower, got dressed and saved time by not shaking my shoes out. Just threw on my shoes, and grabbed my coffee and was out the door. Ten minutes later I'm flying down the highway at 75 mph (I'm not good at metric conversions, but let's try the math. 75mph X 4.85 divided by 12 minus 2 = Hauling Ass) I did the math in my head and figured at that rate of speed, I'd only be 10 minutes late for work, which is acceptable by anyone's standards. So, I stretched out my left foot to relax for the rest of the drive, and just then the oddest thing happened. There was an "object" at the end of my shoe, inside, at the end of my big toe. Hmmm, that's weird, I thought, maybe a little bit of sock balled up? I pushed my big toe forward slightly, and the "object" quickly moved over to the open space near my little toes. I gently probed that area with my smaller toes, and I could feel the "object", gently probe back. At this point, I blasphemed as I realized some unknown live thing was trapped in my shoe as I barreled down the road with no place to pull over for another 5 miles (5 miles X 820footsteps divided by 35leaps plus 50bounds = Too Damn Far!) At this point, I was wide awake and a more than a little nervous. I considered my options, plow into the nearest tree and take us both out, no, try to crush it to death in my shoe with my awesomely powerful baby toe before it stings me or bites me, no, freak out and rip my shoe off while doing 75 mph down the road, no, so I just sat there for 5 minutes, and continued to drive, scared to breath or move, heading for the nearest place to pull over. Every minute or two, I could feel the "thing" in my shoe move around. "Aw, man, I hope it's not getting nervous, too". I didn't move and finally flew into a grocery store parking lot and opened my door and ripped my shoe off and flung it in one really sweet, smooth motion. At this point time everything shifted into slow-motion. As I flung my shoe into the air, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the soft-drink delivery man and the potato chip man freeze, and for some reason, look at me like I was a crazy man, and then when my shoe hit the asphalt, they said both came runing over. Out of my shoe crawled one of those 2 inch big black beetles with horns and crazy antennae waving all around. The delivery men and I crowded around it, me looking ridiculous, of course, wearing only one shoe. One guy said, "how long was that in your shoe?" I said "about 15 minutes", and the other guy said, "Man, there's no place to pull over back there is there? That must have been terrible!" I went over, got my shoe, and said, "yeah, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy"

Patty F
04-29-2008, 07:50 PM
Bill
Thank you for the story.

sassy
04-29-2008, 09:13 PM
A few years back, we lived in a house that we heated with a wood stove. My husband's and my bedroom was in the lower level of the house with a wall that separated it from the "basement" area that contained the wood stove.

My husband had a habit of hanging his pants on a hook on the basement side of the wall, making it easy to just slip them on to step outside for more wood.

One night around 11 he said he was going to put in the last wood for the night and went to the basement to put on his pants. Suddenly, I heard beating and banging on the wall between the basement and bedroom. My husband came jumping around the wall, one leg in the pants, one out, jumping up and down while slapping his pants.

It seems that while putting on the second leg of his pants, he discovered that a mouse was already occupying that leg! It took a minute or two for my husband to get the pants off, while the mouse was trying to find a way out!

He stopped hanging his pants on the basement side!

juanita
04-30-2008, 04:57 PM
Had a spider come out of my coat sleeve one time while driving. Stopped in the middle of the road and got out to take my coat off. At least I live in the country where I was able to do that.

harrie
05-08-2008, 10:45 PM
Over here in Hawaii, we keep most of our shoes outside because we do not wear shoes in the house. Anyways, before I put on my running shoes which I use for work with my scrubs, I should shake it out first because you never know if there is a skink sleeping in my shoe. A couple of times I did not shake it and driving to work I could feel this "thing" tickling my feet!!! GROSS!!!

Another time when I was taking my kids to elementary school, my son in the backseat goes "Mom, there is something in my shoe! I think it is a mouse"!!!! I told him he better not be fooling me cuz that could be very dangerous since I am driving! So I pulled over at the next street, he opened the car door, and sure enough this little mouse was tossed right out of his shoe!!

Maryanne

Terri B
05-27-2008, 02:49 PM
OMG Bill!! What a hilarious account of what happened!! The story in of itself is great, but the spin you put on it, well, you should be a writer!!

*wipes tears*

sniff sniff, hoo boy :) :) :) :)

swimangel72
05-27-2008, 03:46 PM
Great story Bill.....the anxiety you described driving 5 miles until you could pull over is sort of how I felt while waiting to get my pathology report. I could "feel" something was wrong - and held my breath anxiously waiting the bad news. Time and distance are similar dimensions, don't you think? Too bad I can't just shake out this little "beastie" in my body like you shook out your shoe!

ElaineM
05-27-2008, 03:50 PM
Hi,
I live in Hawaii too, so I take my shoes off when I enter a house or an apartment. I have found a cockroach in one of my shoes. Squish, squish. That is one way to control the cockroach population.

Bill
05-27-2008, 04:14 PM
Thanks Terri B, it's on my list, haha. Thanks, Kathy, I wish we could just shake it out of our systems. And time and distance are "unwitting accomplices" as someone once put it. (oh yeah, that's right, it was me) And Elaine, your story reminded me of a comment made by James Dickey, something like, "someday the Earth will be nothing but a big ball of Kudzu, with cockroaches running all through it"