Okay, now I am not giggling.

[kcherub]

I have been trying to post to others more lately, as I realized I was always coming on and whining and b*$ching about my varied symptom concerns. So, do I have credit for this one? Cause' it's kind of gross. ;)

I posted a while back, about having an intermittent cough (really worse the last part of 2007). Let's say in February, I stopped coughing up phlegm. About three weeks ago, it started up again. When I get up in the morning, I might cough once or twice and produce something that varies from a clear blob (perfect circle), to tan, to tan with brown little flecks. I attributed the latter to smoking and a lot of it to allergies (I have had a post-nasal drip the entire time I have been on Herceptin). The cough is not choking, and I do have to actually work to produce anything.

However, this morning, I coughed and there was a small blood clot within the phlegm. I think it was dark blood, not very much. Nothing throughout the day (as usual), but then this afternoon, one more cough with a tinier amount of blood. I. freaked. out. Well, internally. I have to hold it together for my son and husband. I did tell my husband, but he didn't seem too worried. Like I have said before, he is in the medical profession, and doesn't panic about much. I saw him cry once during this whole thing, and that was the day he realized they had told him the wrong diagnosis from my biopsy (I don't even think I have told that one, maybe later).

Anyhoo, I have Herceptin in the morning (8:45 a.m.), and I am thinking of asking for a chest x-ray instead. I could do my Herceptin later in the day, or next week. The thing is, and this is totally not me, but I don't think I want to know. The "symptoms" I have had in the past have had about 30% BC and 70% other things. Too much is adding up, and because I still smoke, I feel like I deserve it. Okay, I don't really mean "deserve", but more like "I should have known better."

I haven't had one bit of an appetite for three weeks, my chest on both sides just above the collarbone has been throbbing for about 6 months, I am coughing up phlegm and now blood, and I have been out of breath. They thought that might have been Herceptin, but my ECHO was 60, which is what it has been the whole time.

Damned if all these things don't show up on the main four symptoms list. I have worked my way through all the hot spots for BC mets, I guess. I haven't had any imaging on my chest since 4/06 (my initial CT), so maybe if I get the chest x-ray and it shows up clear, I can strike lung off my list. Other than the really rare ones, I think the others are all I can worry about. For now.

So, really I don't have a point. I don't even think I am asking for advice. I just love being able to write it all out here, and not think anyone is tired of hearing about it!

Now, what can I do for you? LOL

Take care,

[kcherub]

I have just determined that I am the young, crazy one on the boards. So, I am smiling at least.

[Bill]

What can you do for me? You can get in there tomorrow and get your Herceptin, and then schedule a chest x-ray soon. Let your onc. and your chemo. nurses know what's going on, too. They may want to schedule a different type of test, but you need to do it asap. It's probably nothing, but for your own piece of mind, just do it. Love and prayers, Bill

[Mary Jo]

Oh Krista,

I never tire of hearing from you and never think of you as whining or crazy! Far from it. I see you as one with a kind heart and soul but one who has concerns over "issues" going on with you. I see you "frightened" of these "issues" and afraid of tests just in case you hear what you don't want to hear. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND those feelings BUT and that's a big BUT, you NEED to know. Think of the relief you will feel when they say you are fine. God forbid, you did hear what you don't want to hear... then you can get on with treating what is.

Sending love and ENCOURAGMENT to you Krista. Please, please, please mention these concerns tomorrow. You will feel better that you've done so and PLEASE and that's a huge PLEASEhttp://her2support.org/vbulletin/images/icons/icon7.gif NEVER feel as if you "deserve" any of this crap BECAUSE YOU DO NOT. You're human, just like the rest of us and sadly, none of us do it all right. Cancer happens period - to those who "do it right" and those who do not.

Sending God's Peace to hold you and my ENCOURAGEMENT and love to your heart friend.

Mary Jo

[CLTann]

Hi Kris,

Although you specifically asked for no advice, I felt you really are very much disturbed by the symptoms you discovered.

Anytime there is a trace of blood or dark color in phlegm, it is a serious matter. Do not take it lightly. Get an immediate chest test after consultation with your onc. I don't feel you can write it off so casually.

Of course, good luck to you. Hope it is a minor problem.

[Faith in Him]

Hi Krista,

I am so sorry you have to go through this. As hard as it is to get tests, I think for your own peace of mind, you should ask for a chest x-ray. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Hugs,
Tonya

[sassy]

My onc has always told me that he does not do random tests, however if there is any indication of a problem---there is a lot to be said for peace of mind. Speak up and get that peace of mind!

[Mary Anne in TX]

Get the test cutie!!!!! Take care of you and know we love ya anyway you present yourself!! I'm believing you'll Just Do It! ma

[lexigirl]

Yup, I'm on board with everyone else. Please have a chest x-ray done. Once you find out ther's NO cancer, you will hopefully find the cause of your symptoms.

Big Hugs,
Lexi

[hutchibk]

I concur...

[Becky]

You should never be embarassed or refrain from telling us your complaints regardless. It is why we are here.

Get a chest xray or CT scan. Smoking can make this happen too as it causes some constriction and it does cause mucus. In a house with forced hot air (or dry conditions), the mucus is thick and hard to get up. The cough to get it up can cause some small capilliaries to burst.

This possible explanation is NO excuse to not get an xray/CT done however.

Hugs to you

[mimiflower07]

get the chest xray...then you can relax and you will now have a base line
on your lungs.
good luck
suzanne

[Sheila]

Krista
Get the xray....anytime yo have blood tinged sputum it is time to get it checked....the good news is it is more than likely from throat or lung irritation than lung cancer...don't blame yourself, it took me a long time to quit...you'll get there when the time is right for you.....smoking did not give you breast cancer, get it checked out for your own peace of mind!

[~Bellydancer~]

I agree my dear with everyone. Get the test and get the relief of knowledge. Hang in there and don't freak out! My prayers are with you!
Michelle

[Jackie07]

How did the appoitment go today?

[hermiracles]

Dear Krista - you are such a sweet thing! lol http://her2support.org/vbulletin/images/icons/icon10.gif I bet you are a gorgeous mum to your little boy!
Like everyone has said I'm sure its nothing major to worry about - but of course we worry about everything! - so its always good to get it checked out when you can.
And I have a hard time too - but please try not to blame your self for anything - we each do the best we can in this life - you have so many endearing qualities - I love to "listen" to your shares. Hope all went well with your treatment sister http://her2support.org/vbulletin/images/icons/icon7.gif
Blessings
Hermiracles

[tricia keegan]

Krista as another smoker here I understand your fears and what you are saying but don't go blaming yourself! You'll quit when you feel able to and even smokers with lung cancer may not have helped their situation but no one deserves this disease. That said I do agree with the other's, I know it's scary but get the x ray done if only for peace of mind. I had a scare like this myself during chemo but thankfully it was okay and I'm praying your's will be too..

[jones7676]

Hey, they will check you out and find out what it is. My mom was coughing up blood one time and it was caused by "chicken stones" believe it or not. When she was a kid they raised chickens on the farm and there are stones mixed in with the feed. Apparently it sat in her lung for about 50 years and when she got older it broke through and caused her to spit up blood. We were all worried because she has smoked for years. So, maybe it is just something weird like that. I'm hoping it is nothing serious....

[kcherub]

Hi, hi, hi! Thank you all so much--I didn't mean that I didn't "want" advice or wouldn't take it, I just meant that I just needed to vent! I did read everyone's replies this morning before I left, but I was running late to get Cooper to school by 8:30, and then to get to my ONC. by 8:45!

I had Herceptin, which always takes so much longer than the 1 1/2 hours it should. My ONC. said that he didn't think there way anything to worry about, took a listen to my chest, but then said:

Krista, knowing you, you will worry about this, so if you want a chest x-ray, go get one after Herceptin.

Ah, he knows me so well. So, I headed down the the imaging lab at the hospital, where I had to wait about an hour to get in. Of course, my anti-anxiety meds had completely worn off by this point! They took me in, did a back and side view, which took all of about 5 minutes. The tech freaked me out by asking me on the way out, "How long have you had that cold?" Wave of panic...so, I called my husband who said asked me if I told them I had radiation. So, I went back, and told her that. She said "Oh! I do need to tell them that." I waited around another 30 minutes or so for the images on a disc. I tried to e-mail them to my husband, without opening them myself. I have no idea what the h*$l to look for, but it didn't work. So, I sat there for another two hours waiting for him to get home.

He looked at the disc--there wasn't a report on there yet, but he said he didn't see anything even resembling "anything". He said that he was surprised that my lungs looked as good as they did having smoked. I didn't hear from my ONC. today, and won't until next week. I took a look at the images, and while I did ask my husband about 20 times "What is that?!?", I feel relieved. Now, he has been doing this for 20 years, and the final word will come from the radiologist at the hospital, but it looks good.

Now I have worked my way through all the usual suspects for BC mets, and I just might be able to breathe for a few months. We shall see...

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU once again for patting me on the back, and confirming my knowledge that no matter what the outcome of any test I ever have to take, you guys will be here to get me through it.

I am going to do two more posts regarding two things that my ONC. and I talked about today, which were very interesting to me!

Take care and HUGE HUGS!