Husband's Dana Farber Appointment

[Believe51]

He finally has his appointment with Dana Farber with a 'Dr. Lin'? Anyone heard of him?? Anyway, how I wish it was much sooner, but we'll deal. The good news is that his doctor wanted him to take a small break before starting a new treatment anyway. I am so excited to go and to know we are not out of options yet, so the purpose is solely to get a second opinion about the next plan of action. We also want to see what they suggest because we do have a few options planned. I am floating on a cloud today, I feel so good about moving forward down a different path. I know we are all loved here and that people love us in our lives, so nothing I can say is out of the norm, but this man is my Knight In Shining Armor. He is everything I ever dreamed a husband should be and I tell him daily that I am so blessed to be his wife, that I am glad that if he was going to get cancer I am the one who will see him through. The only way I will be able to handle what comes is to know we have done everything we could. On June 19, we will be going for a 'third' opinion, not that I want opinions until we hear what we want to hear, for that day may never come. That appointment is with another great Oncologist here in 'Little Rhody' and again, to see if our course of action is where we need to go with this. Girls, now more than ever we need your prayers and words of encouragement. Am I doing all I can be doing? What else can I do? If this was you, what would you expect from me? He says I could not be doing any better with his treatment, but I am so lost, so very very lost. Sometimes I can hear myself screaming inside, but nothing comes out. I thank you in advance for your replies, I can not do this without you Angels. Also, I need a follow up on my mammogram on June 21 and although it is never a good time to be sick, I find that I am having racing thoughts about my health, for something is going on with me. I promise not to fret about my mammogram until we discuss results, I do not worry much anymore about the 'what if's'...HELP!!....>>Waiting For A Miracle>>Believe51....(Marie G)

[Joe]

I met Dr. Nancy Lin at the San Antonio Symposium last December and wish to assure you that your husband is in good hands.

Dr. Lin is a close associate of Dr. Eric Winer and has worked closely with him on several studies. Dr. Lin delivered the paper at this years ASCO on HER2 metastatic brain tumors, but has wide experience in breast cancer. She is also very experienced with Tykerb and it wouldn't surprise me if she includes that drug in her treatment.

Warmest Regards
Joe

[chrisy]

Marie,
You will probably get lots of responses directly addressing "what else can I do" question.

I can address the "what would I expect" (or want)...
I don't think this is the sort of answer you were seeking, but I just have to say this anyway. Reading your post made me cry - because you put a face, and words to the anguish, frustration, and sometimes helplessness faced by those who love us. As the person fighting cancer, I know all too well my own fears and demons - one of the greatest being the pain of seeing my husband in pain over my disease.

Your husband is very lucky to have a partner who is able to take on the challenge of researching treatments, seeking support, looking for answers. You are very special. You are, indeed, doing all you can to find answers and options - you are seeking help from the best professionals. Be prepared to get multiple opinions if you see multiple experts, tho!

A very wise and dear friend of mine is dealing with serious health issues of here aging mom. Her dad is not physically able to help at all, so most of the burden of finding and directing her mom's care falls on her. She told me her dad's job is TO LOVE HER MOM. That made me cry, too (maybe I should buy stock in kimberly-clark!). I realized how critical THAT role is, and how people like our spouses who feel powerless must never forget the MOST POWERFUL thing they can do is to love us. That is what I want most.

For me, I also need and appreciate (sometimes!) that we try to just do our lives, and be normal. Maybe it's just cultivating a healthy sense of denial - or maybe it's allowing hope. It's tough work "living" with cancer. From time to time you will be able to take a break from it and believe it or not, there will be days you don't think about it. It may take some time and effort to get there and that is your current focus.

And don't forget to take care of yourself. Not just because you need to be strong so that you can continue to "DO" so much for your dear hubby, but also because you in your own right are special and need tender loving care. Anxiety about a mammo is tough for anyone - it must be driving you crazy but try to not worry.

I know I'm just totally rambling. Sorry 'bout that. But it so touches my heart what you are going through with your husband. You two are very very special.

Much love and prayers
chris

[tousled1]

Marie,

You are doing everything you possibly can for your husband. He's a very luck man to have you by his side during all this. Please do take care of yourself -- get your mammogram this month and don't worry about "what if." You are the caregiver and it is important that you take care of yourself so that you can be there for your husband. I will keep you both in my prayers.

[Believe51]

Girls, thanks, I really needed that. I needed to know that I am doing my part. As for loving him, oh, some people travel a lifetime and never find my treasures. I am trying right now to get past the fact that we have not had enough time together, (together 15 years/married 13) maybe it is my own sort of self-pity. It took me months to get past crying when I seen an older couple holding hands and looking into each others eyes with such complete and true love, I can pass them now. In fact when I used to pass, I would say a special prayer for us but I now include the couple. Life without him can only go on if we are not missing a thing and I can only accept what is & will happen by knowing that in my heart. When he was dx w/stage IV we had no time for denial, I embraced the facts and never ran and with time so did he. I know that I always try to be a better person with each coming day, but I never thought that cancer would make me an even better person. Although I am not the one here with Breast Cancer, I am a caregiver and I feel that my point of view during this most horrific moment in our lives can help you. You see, you are all someone's "Princess in Shining Armor" and all we want to do is LOVE YOU and to our best abilities for the longest time ever. You girls can always call on me for any caregiver questions. You all may be 'professional patients', but I certainly want to be a 'professional caregiver'. I pray and think of you all, my friends each and every day. I am so thankful that you are here for us through this very needy time in our fantasy story call our lives. We have never feeled so enriched and blessed: we are grateful for your love, support, but most importantly: Thanks for being you!!!!! >Waiting For A Miracle>Believe51...(Marie G)