my good news bad news

[juanita]

I saw my onc for a checkup today. Everything was good. My tumor markers are the lowest that they have ever been. He doesn't believe in scans unless something warrants it, which nothing does. i feel really good. I'll ask about scans in July when I go back. Now for my bad news. I've posted before about one of the ladies i work with having (not bc related) cancer in her lungs, liver, glands, and nodes. She finshed chemo about 1 1/2 months ago and had scans (full body) done to see how well it had responded. They told her everything looked good, it wasn't even showing up in her lungs or nodes anymore, and her liver had really shrunk. She was just waiting for her white counts were completely up to come back to work. They called us today and she's now in ICU. It's in her brain and there is so much swelling she can't function. She told them she doesn't want anymore chemo. In a weird way I almost feel guilty because I've been so lucky in the past 2 1/2 years, when her's has progressed so fast in just 7 months. It really make me realize how lucky I really am. And having all of you here makes me feel even luckier because I'm sure all of you know what I'm saying to where nobody else does.

[Mary Jo]

Hi Juanita,

I totally understand what you are saying. I've experienced that "guilt" as well. A good friend/co-worker of my husband lost his wife last July to colon cancer. She was 47. She oftened encouraged me on my chemo journey and always remembered those important days - last chemo - last radiation etc. as only another cancer survivor can. Also, a friend from church died while I was going through chemo of inflammatory breast cancer at age 48. I remember many times sitting at the kitchen table with my husband crying as I tried to understand it all. I tried to understand why I was stage 2 and others were stage 4. Why some get through it all ~ why others don't. Of course, we all know we don't have the answers to those questions. Only God knows why things happen the way they do.

Thanks Juanita for sharing a post that I think many of us can relate too. Our hearts truly can feel what others go through now at a whole different level now, can't we?

Love & Blessings,

Mary Jo

P.S. You have an adorable granddaughter.