My Sweet Angel is Gone

[Tom]

Dear friends at HER2 support,

It is through waves of tears that I tell you that the love of my life, my sweet Mother, has left this world. She passed away on February 11th, but I was not able to post or access the site as I was unaware of the changes made.

My heart is broken into a thousand little pieces, and I am torn apart from the inside out. My Mother was the most selfless, devoted, and caring mother that ever walked the earth. Any good that is in me came as a result of having been raised by her and my Father. They worked tirelessly to give me a good life, and tried to teach me what was true and right in the world. The last words I spoke to her before her casket was closed, was to thank her for loving me the way she did.

I feel as if I have been hit in the face with a shovel, and I don't know what to do next. Our routine of many years now has come to a grinding and gut wrenching halt. I will tell you more when I can next bring myself to write about her, but I will let you all have this one bit of satisfaction. Thanks to the efforts of Joe, Christine, and all of you, Mom did NOT succumb to the Beast. Her death was unrelated to it in any way. All of you helped me and her beat the Beast down and kill it. For that I will be forever greatful.

I am going away for a few days to help a friend with her recovery from brain surgery (not cancer) and will post when I return. Thank you all again. I will never forget what you did for us in my most desperate moments of darkness through her battle. I love you all very much.

Greatfully yours,
Tom
Proud son of Hazel K. Brown

[sherri]

Dear Tom,

I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. Tom, what can I say. I'm sure your Mom had a great life otherwise she couldn't have a son like you. She was a great woman, she lived her life fully, she gave you as a gift to the world. And I know she was in peace when she left this world, knowing you will continue her life. I love you like my brother and we are here for you. I know she does not want you to be sad, and she wants you to continue her way of life.

Much love,

[AlaskaAngel]

Tom, you and your mother are very real for us because you have been so caring and willing to share pieces of yourselves and your lives with us. I'm glad there is so much that your parents gave you to continue to help you make your life really count. Many times your comments here have been valuable to others. Take the time you need now, and come back when you can.

Yours,

AlaskaAngel

[Sheila]

Tom

All of us Mothers on this board truly admired the selfless and tireless way you looked after your Mother. always looking for something to help her....if only all Mothers were as lucky as yours, to have such a loving son! You were a gift from her and your Father, and you in turn returned that gift by caring for her and giving her your "all" when she needed it most.May the love she shared with you and you with her, help you heal through all of this and continue on....you made her more proud than many a mother! You are a true example of respect and love. Thank you for sharing at this hard time....she is at peace now, and will forever be remember in your heart and ours.

[Jeanette]

Tom, I don't post often , but I always looked forward to reading your posts. You are the most caring person I have ever had the pleasure of not meeting personally but thru your posts. I have sons also that are very caring and I hope they can measure up to your standards. Your dear sweet Mother is at peace now in the arms of Jesus, so please celebrate her life. Please don't leave this site, we need you here with us. God Bless you, Jeanette

[tousled1]

Tom,

My heart felt sympathy is sent your way. Your mother was fortunate to have such a loving son. I'm at a loss for words. Please take care of yourself.

[jag]

Tom....no Words Can Help With The Emptiness You Feel....but You Did Good With The Way You Loved And Cared For Your Mom....may God Be With You At This Time....

[Mary Anne in TX]

Hi Tom! Thank you for making time when it didn't feel good to do so, and letting us know about your mother. No more powerful thing in this ol' world than love. And you have had a family that understood the power and used it fully. I'm so sorry for your grief. I hope that you will find some peace soon. I must say that it took me several years to stop grieving for my mom after she died. She fought such a valiant battle her last 3 years against Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. What an example she set for me, just as your mother did for you. God bless you and thank you again for caring enough to let us know. mary anne

[kareneg]

Dear Tom,

My heart breaks for you and you family. You are truely a wonderful man and son.May god bring you through this horrible ordeal. Again my deepest sympathy.

[RhondaH]

I was SHOCKED to read your post and tears are streaming down MY eyes for you. If your mom was all that you said she was, you are DEFINATELY your mothers son and I KNOW she and your father are proud of you. If there is ANYTHING I can do to help, please let me know. BIGGGG huggs to you. Take care and God bless.

Rhonda

PS, my son is a Brown also and if that is any indication that he will be as wonderful as you, then he should wear the name proudly:)

[mslinda]

Dear Tom:

I have been so impressed when I would read your posts. Not many men would care for their mothers the way you have. My husband did, so I feel very fortunate to have him. I have raised two sons that I hope have the compassion that you have shown. My prayer is that God give you a peace about your mother's passing. Your parents sound to have been very special people. Please know that my heart is with you.

Linda

[bonnie]

I am so sorry. I lost my mother soon after beginning chemo and she, also, was the most wonderful mother one could ever have. She also had breast cancer but died of other causes. My heart goes out to you.

Bonnie

[tricia keegan]

Tom My sincere sympathy to you on your Moms passing.
You will both be in my prayers.
Hugs
Tricia

[Montana]

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother, Tom.

[RobinP]

Dear Tom,

My deepest sympathy goes out to you. Your mother was lucky to have such a devoted, caring son, as I know you were to her. I am praying that God will touch you with peace and comfort you. Please take care and do come back on the boards when you are able.

[Lolly]

Dear Tom,
I am so sorry for your loss. You can't imagine it now, but one day memories of your mom will make you smile through your tears as you think "what would mom say or do about this?" Our mom's will always live in our hearts.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

<3 Lolly

[juanita]

You are in my prayers!

[Carol Carlson]

Tom,
I am so sorry to read about the loss of your mother. I lost my mother several years ago and I still miss her. She was my angel in life and she is still my little guardian angel sitting on my shoulder every day as your Mom will be for you.
You were both fortunate to have had each other.
God bless and take care,
Carol Carlson

[Marlys]

Tom, my heart cries for you. I know that soon you wil be able to remember her with less pain. I lost my mother when I was 9 and have always wished I could have known her as an adult. But I do know that someday I will meet her again and I will be able to make up for all that time. I will pray that your acute pain will subside soon.
Love and hugs,
Marlys

[heblaj01]

Dear Tom,
I am very sorry for you in this tragic times. I know for sure, having corresponded with you, & having read all your posts that you did everything you could for your mother. I also know you will find inside you the strength to slowly overcome the awfull pain you now shoulder. You have all my sympathy.

[cafe1084]

It is a rare and special quality to be able to convey feelings through written words. You are truly special and we can all feel your sadness.

Each and every word I have read from you, Tom, has been so sincere and earnest, looking for ways to help your mother recover her health and quality of life. I have to assume your mother knew how special you are, as well, and was so grateful that she was blessed with you. May your pain be eased with the love and memories you shared with your mom. I know that if your mother were able, she would wrap her hands around your heart to keep it from breaking. I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you today.

Stephanie

[Sandy H]

I am in shock to read of the passing of your dear Mom. I know you did all you could and stood by her to the end. May you bath yourself in the precious memories you will have of her. It must give you comfort to know this disease did not get her. Will be interested, when you are able, to let us know what really happened. I think it is wonderful you are helping your friend out during a time that you must be low on energy yourself. May you receive strength and inspiration from this friend and yet you can return the same to her/him. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. God Bless you. Sending you a hug, Sandy

[Sherryg683]

Tom, you have always been so sweet and caring and truely an advocate for your mom. With your help, she was able to beat the beast of cancer. I don't know the circumstances of her death but it should be some comfort to you to know all your work in helping her keep her cancer at bay was not in vain. We all will go someday, and I hope your moms passing was in peace. There is no doubt that you will be reunited with her one day, you have been a dream of a son. You are in my prayers..sherryg683

[Chelee]

Tom, You sure have a way with words. The pure deep love you have for your Mother has always shown through your posts. Your Mother must of been so very PROUD of you. I feel like I know her from the way you told us about her. Your Mother had to of been one very special lady to of raised a son like you. My heart seriously breaks for you. I didn't get through but a few words of your post and the tears were rolling down my face.

This has to be such a difficult time for you...I can't even imagine. Please take care of yourself. My deepest condolences.

Sending you warm healing thoughts and prayers.

Chelee

[rinaina]

Tom, please accept my most sincere condolences on the loss of your dear mother. Through reading your incredible posts and replies on this forum, I feel I have come to know your very special family and in particular, you and your mother. You have a way of expressing yourself through writing that has touched all of us here. I can imagine just how supportive, helpful, caring, selfless, attentive and loving you must be in person. You definitely walk the talk. I lost my mother, my best friend, 5 years ago and I can tell you that for me, I don't think I will ever completely be done grieving, however it does get easier with time as they say. With that said, I still have moments when something, and it can be such a little thing, will make me tear up. It can be a song on the radio while driving in the car or a particular fragrance in a store. I was at a wedding once and just seeing someone's mother walk down the aisle did it. I was at a cooking demonstration and before I knew it the flood gates open. I tell you this not to upset you but to let you know your mother will always be with you because of the wonderful relationship the two of you shared. Part of the reason she can be at peace now is because of who you are. May you find comfort in those close to you. I hope when you are ready you will continue to share your gifts with all of us here. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely,
Rina

[sassy]

Tom,


I am so sorry for your loss--I lost my mother 5 years ago to Alzheimers. Although I miss her still, the pain is replaced by joy from her life. May God hold you in the palm of his hand.
________
cheap condo in Pattaya (http://pattayaluxurycondos.com)

[michele u]

Tom,

I have 2 sons and i hope they grow up like you!!! Me and my teenage son have alot differences and fight alot. Listening to you talk about your mom is so awesome. I'm sure she was very proud of you! I'm so sorry for your loss.

[StephN]

Dear Tom ("Mr. Eloquence") -
We all feel as if your Mom was our MOM, the way you so lovingly described her and your fight to keep her with you.
My words are inadequate - but you must find a way to start to fill the void left behind. You can take up your time, but not the ache in your heart.

I am going with my Dad to see his cardio on Monday. His heart tests were not good and he has some bad blockages. It is so hard to see him this way - getting dizzy and even admitting to falling in the bushes after his haircut yesterday. I know there is less I can do for him than you were able to do for your Mom, but I keep you in mind as I struggle to understand what all is wrong and how it may be dealt with.

Sometimes I just wonder how I will get through all this, as we do not live in the same part of the state. You would like my Dad - he is a true gentleman and was extremely devoted to his mother the way you are.

I know God is with you and guiding you now as before in your Mom's last years.

[R.B.]

I am very sorry to hear your news.

RB

[Kimberly Lewis]

Tom, as you can see we all are grieving with you. Thanks for sharing your life with us. I pray that your faith will carry you through this. kim

[MJo]

I think you are kind to care for a friend so soon after losing your mother. Please remember to take care of yourself too. All my sympathy for your loss, MJO

[Val Pfeiffer]

Dear Tom--
I am so sorry for your loss. My father died on Feb 9th at age 87 after a long and active life. I understand what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you :-)

Val

[Karen t]

Dear Tom,

I am so sorry for your loss. And, even in the midst of your sorrow, you thought about others – reassuring us that the "Beast' was not the cause of your loss. I look forward to hearing from you again as you begin your own healing journey.

With deepest sympathy,
Karen

[Andi]

Dear Tom - I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You always impressed me as such a dear dedicated son, one any mother would be extremely proud of. My prayers are with you and may you journey through your grief and someday get to the point where you find great comfort in all or your wonderful memories. Thank you for sharing with all of us on this board.

[Christine MH-UK]

Dear Tom,

I have always been impressed by how dedicated you were to your mother and what good care you took of her. You undoubtedly added many months, if not years, to her life, although it is sad that she is gone.

Best wishes,

Christine MH

[Joe]

Tom,

Our hearts go out for you. We know how close you were to your Mom.

Regards
Joe and Christine

[Jean]

Dear Tom,

I am sorry to hear of your Mothers passing. You will find comfort in the future days ahead knowing that you shared a beautiful life with your Mom. My Mom
passed six years ago and I had taken care of her with all my heart and soul just like you with your Mother. It is very difficult in the early years as they are greatly missed. But you can embrace your loving memories and remember happy loving days. (Many people do not have that) we do! Believe that is what helps gets you past the pain. Remember all the love and good things.

Your a one of a kind son and she was a one of a kind Mom.
She now lives in your heart.

Warm Regards,
Jean

[Lani]

I was truly saddened to hear of your mother's passing.

If only every woman with breast cancer had a son as dedicated, caring and selfless as you!

You are in all our thoughts!

Lani, dubbed by you "the propeller-head"

[skeetur]

My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Skeetur

[Hopeful]

Tom,

I am shocked and saddened by your news. My heart goes out to you and your family. Your mother will always be with us because your loving and eloquent descriptions will live on in our hearts. I have been in awe of your tireless devotion to her. She most certainly knew how very much she was loved by you, and that is the most precious gift of all. Please take care of yourself and post again when you are feeling up to it. You will both be in my thoughts.

Hopeful

[suzan w]

peace to you Tom, and I am sure that your mom has found hers. She already had it in such a wonderful son.

[TriciaK]

Tom, We have all felt through your posts how much your mom meant to you. Although you will never get over missing her and I know there will be a deep void in your life for a long time because so much of your life was spent in caring for her, there has to be comfort in knowing how much she loved you. She was so blessed to have a son like you! You will find great comfort in knowing you did all you could to help her through her battle. We all feel your loss and are so grateful that you took time to post to us even in your pain. Please know that we are praying for you, and we hope to hear from you from time to time. We feel like family and want to know how you are doing. My mom died 50 years ago when I was a very young mother, and though I have missed her terribly all through the years, there are warm and tender memories that have given me comfort. I know you have such sweet memories too and they will sustain you through the years until you meet her again. God bless you with peace and comfort. Hugs, Tricia

[lu ann]

Dear Tom, I am sorry for your loss. You made her and all of us proud. Thankyou and God Bless You. She has made it to her reward. Life everlasing with our Father. Love, Lu Ann

[Kavy]

Tom,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. My heart goes out to you and your family. May God be with you and carry you in His arms through this difficult time. Your Mom was blessed to have a son so caring and dedicated like you.
Hugs and prayers,
Karla.

[jhandley]

Hi Tom
So sad to hear of your loss. I spoke at a "Relay for Life" event on Friday night and mentioned this website and how much support we all give one another. I feel as if I know you well and your mother too and yes she was very lucky to have ason like you. Please keep posting as you remain a member of this family.
Kind regards
Jackie (down

[lindaw]

Tom I am so sorry for your loss - your mother would have felt blessed to have such a wonderful son.

love
linda

[Becky]

Dear Tom


I was away for almost 2 weeks and just returned. I am so sorry about the death of your dear mother. She is living with new angels now since you were truly an angel living on earth.

With deepest sorrow and sympathy.

Becky

[Diane H]

Dear Tom, Words cannot express, am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful Mother, Prayers and hugs, Diane

[Shell]

Tom-

I am so sorry to read of your loss. I echo the comments of others who felt from the beginning that you had a special bond with your mother, and she was very fortunate to have such a caring son.

Your family is in our prayers.

Regards,

[Vi Schorpp]

My sincere condolences to you...I hope you have a support system around you that can help you get through this as you did for your mom. You know you can count on us. Also, having experienced the loss of my husband within the past year, the loss is extremely difficult, but I knew my husband could not have had better care and I had no regrets -- as I'm sure you feel about having cared for your mom, and having no regrets. Take care.

[Vanessa]

Tom, I am heartbroken to hear about the passing of you beloved mother. She is equally as lucky to have been loved by you!! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Joy]

Oh my goodness, I am so sad, really, really sad for you and your family. What a difficult and emotional transition you are facing. I KNOW without ever having met your mom that she is an amazing person. I know this because of 'knowing' you. You embody ALL those qualities that you love about her. Please take care of yourself. Ask for help and know we all have cyber shoulders for you.

[lexigirl]

Dear Tom,

I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that I am thinking of you now.

With tears,

Lexi

[Audrey]

(((Tom))), I am so sorry to hear about your mother's passing--she sounded like a dear lady and she sure was lucky to have you in her life. Like so many others on this site, I will also be praying for you to find peace and strength in the days ahead.

[Karen Weixel]

Tom,

I am very sorry for your loss.

I am sending you healing prayers, peace and strenth.

Karen

[Bev]

Tom,

Sympathies as well. From the posts and pics I can tell your mom had an amazing spirit. Someone we all wish we could have known in person. It's kind of selfish, but I'm glad it wasn't the beast.

Please continue to visit. Your posts were very informative. Do take care of yourself. Do something nice for yourself, you deserve it. Thanks for being there. Bev

[SusanV]

Tom,

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you with a heavy heart. May your days ahead be filled with Love of Family, friends and loving memories of your Mom.

Thinking of You

[Kim in CA]

Dear Tom,


I am so terribly sorry to hear of your loss. We all feel like we knew her through you. Your love and devotion were the greatest gift a mother could have. Take care of yourself and know I'm sending heartfelt prayers your way.

Love, Kim in CA

[Jules]

Hi Tom,

I recently lost my mom to the "beast". You might have remembered her as Hope on the Her2neu board. I remembered all your posts and thought what wonderful advocate you are just like I was with my mom. It's good to know that they are good daughters and sons out there to take care of our parents. My deepest sympathies go out to you. Take Care, Julissa:)

[Emmay]

Dear Tom,
I am sure your mother felt your deep love for her every day -- she must have been so very proud to have such a caring, open hearted son. You are a very exceptional man, and we are all so very sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself, and keep in touch through this board - we all do feel like we know you and knew your mother, because you write with such honesty and heartfelt feeling.
With deep sympathy,
Emmay

[chrisy]

Tom,

I'm sorry to hear of your loss - and at the same time, gratified that you and she beat this particular beast we all are fighting. I know this cannot ease the pain you are feeling now, as you fought so hard with/for your Mom. You are both really blessed to have had this time together and to experience what love is really all about. I hope you are somewhat comforted by the outpouring of love from your friends here.

Please take care of yourself.

Love
Chris

[Margerie]

Dear Tom,

Thanks for sharing yourself and your mom here. She was blessed with such a wonderful son. And now you have a pretty incredible angel looking out for you. I hope you find peace soon during this difficult time.

Best wishes,

Margerie

[Barbara2]

Tom, I am so very sorry. There are not words that can describe the hurt of losing someone you love so much. My father died from cancer 32 years ago, and I still miss him so. He, too, was such a living and kind person; not an enemy in the world. How lucky we are to have been blessed with such beautiful parents.

[MCS]

Oh dear Tom. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. You are such a devoted care giver- son or not.


I've lost another frined last week to ovarian cancer and another is in her last breaths as we speak from colon cancer. So I'm just saturated with anger and sadness.

Love to you

MCS ( maria)

[Leslie's sister]

Tom:

I have read your posts since joining and could totally relate to them as a fellow advocate for a loved one with breast cancer. I don't know the words to truly express my sympathies to you. Just know that I/we care and are praying for you. You were/are an incredible son to support your mother as you did. I'm sure she loved and appreciated you very much.

[Lala]

Tom

I am truly saddened to hear that your Mother has passed. I have witnessed your great love for your mother in all of your postings. Your dedication to your Mother and great love for her will always be remembered. I hope that your heart is soon filled with the sweet memories of her.

May the Angels surround you and grant you peace.

[vickie h]

Dearest Tom, Know that we are all heartbroken by your loss and that we love you. I lost my mother 22 years ago in a car accident and never had the chance to say goodbye, I miss her everyday. My prayers are with you and your family now and your mother lovingly surrounds you in every way. My love to you, Vickie

[Gina]

Dear Tom,

I have been away from this site for quite a while and was so sad to read your post. You and your mother have provided much food for thought for all of us on this site not to mention the hope, courage, and lessons in compassion that your stories have taught us all. Your mother will be greatly missed, but we hope that from time to time, you will still share you thoughts and insights with this group.

Kindest thoughts,
Gina

[Yorkiegirl]

Dearest Tom --I am truly sorry to read of your Mothers passing.

She was so very blessed to have a Son like you.

Many prayers going out to you during this difficult time.

[Barbara H.]

Hi Tom,
I was on vacation last week when I logged in at a coffee shop and read the news about your mom. It was so unexpected and I felt so sad for you. You have been such a devoted son. You can't imagine how much that meant to your mother. My thoughts have been with you since I heard the news. Thank you for sharing your relationship with your mom, your wisdom about breast cancer treatment, your thoughts on life, and everything else you have shared. I hope you will still check in and remain a part of this forum.
Sincere thoughts going your way,
Barbara H.

[kat in the delta]

My Dear Friend Tom,
I'd been waiting on a response from you and then I saw this thread. There are no words.....I can say....but ...If I could ...I WOULD...Hug you long and tight--and whisper:" I am so so very sorry".......Dear God, she must have been a faithful servant to Him ,to you, and to your Father..as You have been to her..I know she is with you now...she has truly taken on wings .....Please stay and be with us on this site.or at least come alot and visit....-WE ALL NEED YOU--and love you---You have a dear and delicate heart......I have 3 sons.....only 1 ever gives me attention--HE used to never leave without saying to me, even in a whisper in HS, "I Love YOU, m.." He hasn't said it since he's been in college..but has shown it --HE always comes home to see me and he calls me alot-...".I cannot tell you how much that means to a mother...".You were and still are part of her ......I know she loves you for all you did for her...You made any suffering LESS--just by being there for her........Now, you have to live your life..This change will be hard. Take care of yourself, now, more than ever. You have been blessed by God to have a mother you admired and loved. I would love to hear about her......I need a role model to help me with 3 sons............
Please know that I care about you...as well as many others in this little world on this great site....I pray that God will lift this sadness and its pain from your heart.......dear ,most precious Tom.......
friend forever,
Kat in the Delta