Bad time of year to be sad

[Sheila]

Not that anytime would be better, but I had lunch with my best friend from high school today....we have remained close over the years...we are like sisters. She was diagnosed 1 month ago with brain and lung cancer....seeing her today made it all so real...she went through gamma knife, brain radiation and is now on chemo and radiation...alot of hugging and crying for the 2 of us....she was there for me when I was diagnosed, and now I need to be there for her.....so many tears, but before we left, we both had a good laugh wondering who we "pissed off" or what did we both do wrong to deserve this fate of having cancer! It turned the tears into a smile and a laugh....we have always done everything together, why not the cancer journey!

[tousled1]

Sheila,

I'm sorry to hear that your dear friend now has cancer. You were fortuante to have her there when you needed her. Now you must be there for her. I'll keep her in my prayers.

[Mary Anne in TX]

There is absolutely nothing in the whole wide world as precious as those very special "sister" friends!!! I'm glad you have each other in the midst of turmoil.

[Tom]

Sheila and all,

The one thing I have noticed over the years as I have seen friends and family dealing with cancer, is the difference between men and women with respect to how they choose to cope. When women are diagnosed and undergoing treatment, they always confide in each other and lean on each other for emotional support.

When men are dealing with cancer, they go into hiding and fail to find any comfort or support from other men or women for that matter. It is almost as if they were ashamed of the diagnosis, or that they weren't "strong enough" to avoid the disease. I have never understood that. When my barber was suffereing from lung cancer, he never said a word at first. Then, after years of bugging him about his horrendous smoking habit, he finally admitted it to me when he actually developed lung cancer. He only spoke of it when I was the only one in the shop. I offered as much advice and incouragement as I thought he would allow. We had spoken before his diagnosis of how my Father had succumbed to cancer, so I guess he felt I would be at ease with the subject.

I can only hope when my turn comes some day, that my male friends will be supportive and willing to listen to me reach out for conversation. I have a bad feeling that they won't however. Boys will be boys I guess. In men's minds, it is somehow unmanly to have cancer, as it makes us vulnerable and mortal. Perhaps I will come here for my comfort, as I doubt I will be disappointed or find myself fighting alone. I have the greatest respect for all of you here, for the way in which you reach out into the vapor to comfort total strangers with your own personal stories and advice. It certainly has met the world to me and Mom. Take good care this Christmas season and God bless you all.

Humbly,
Tom

[Bev]

Sorry Sheila, I know it must hurt. I hope your friend can find a good online support group like ours. Tell her we all sent our prayers and hugs her way. BB

[Becky]

Sheila


On Wednesday I will give you a real hug but know I am sending hugs your way today.

[lindaw]

Dear Sheila

friendship is so precious - its at these times we realize it. your friend is lucky to have you - you are very supportive to us.

love
linda

[Chelee]

Shelia, I am so sorry to hear the news about your friend. As difficult as this is for all involved...its nice that she has someone like you that she is close to that truly understands what she is going through. As we know support is so important at a time like this. It sure sounds like she has been through alot already...thank goodness you can be there for her. Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. She is really blessed to have you in her life.

I'm sending you both a big hug...and please let your friend know you will both me in my thoughts and prayers.

Chelee

[rinaina]

Sheila, I am so sorry to hear about your good friend. It is a shame that you have to have cancer in common but thank G-d you have each other to rely on for support. I received so much by having my close friends around me and behind me while going through my cancer treatment and recovery. There is nothing like a really good friend during times like this. I would have been lost without my circle of close friends. I am praying for her and you.

[Jackie]

Sheila,


I'm sorry to hear about your friend's dx. It will help her so much to have you there with her through this. A good friend of mine was dx with breast cancer 5 weeks after I was. We went through most of it together including most of the same drs. This really helped. Prayers are with both of you.

[Sandy H]

Sheila I am sorry to hear about your friend and as it has been said here already she is fortunate to have you for a friend. There is nothing like a friend who has been there done it! Both can travel this journey and understand each other and say anything they wish not worrying about upsitting the other. Another hug on Wednesday. Sending you you one tonight and see you Wednesday. Sandy