Feel Like Damaged Goods

[LOPSIDED]

WELL TODAY MY SUPERVISOR CALLED ME IN THE OFFICE AND SAID SINCE ALL MY LEAVE TIME AND MY SHORT-TERM DISABILITY HAVE BEEN USED THAT THEY WILL HAVE TO PUT ME PART-TIME. I FILLED OUT PAPERWORK ASKING TO HAVE INTERMITTED TIME OFF FOR TREATMENTS & APPOINTMENTS. THEY WORKED WITH ME WHILE I HAD THE LEAVE & DISABILITY AND SOME OF THE EMPLOYEE'S EVEN DONATED TIME TO ME BUT THIS HAVE BEEN GOING ON SINCE SEPT. 2005 AND I GUESS I HAVE BECOME A BURDEN TO MY EMPLOYER. THEY SAID I WOULD STILL HAVE MY INSURANCE AND PART-TIME IS 25 TO 32 HRS AND THEY WOULD TRY TO GIVE ME AS MANY HOURS AS THEY COULD----NOT FEELING TOO SECURE. I GUESS THATS ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED IS THAT NOTHING IS CERTAIN IN LIFE AND THAT THEIR WILL ALWAYS BE THOSE BUMPS IN THE ROAD. JUST FEELING DOWN TONIGHT AND NEEDED TO LET IT OUT. SHEILA

[lu ann]

I give all you credit for working while going through cancer treatment. It must be very hard at times. I have been a stay at home mom for most of my married life and have had the luxury of not having to get up and get ready for work.

Managing a household is more then I can handle at times. I have a supportive husband who has always pitched in to do the housework. The kids on the other hand are a different story.

At times I wish I did have a job to go to for the social part . I did like working the times that I was employed.

Sheila I hope and pray that your feelings of being down are short lived. Take care and God Bless You.

Lu Ann

[sarah]

Sounds like you're feeling rather down about the work change but your employer may be doing you a favor because cancer is such a full time job that you really do need more off time and this way you won't have the added stress of not being able to handle full time work. I hope this new schedule works for you and will make life easier for you to get well and strong.
Life can work in strange ways and things that seem a negative can sometimes turn into a plus.
good luck
sarah

[bobbiw]

Oh boy do I know how you feel. I was let go from my place of work (a company that provides services for people with disabilities no less!!!) after my FMLA was exhausted. Anyway, yes I agree, the cancer is enough to deal with so things seem to work out somehow huh? In regards to being a burden to your employer.......that is a kick in the pants and again I understand your feelings but you are not a burden to those that love and care about you. Take care of yourself, take time for yourself and get strong.
Bobbi

[cosmicdust]

Have you (your doc) considered going on long term disability? Unfortunately then you pay for insurance via COBRA which is spendy. Average ck is 60% of your gross pay.

[Helen]

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling down. I hope you will look at it on a brighter side that it is probably a "blessing in disguise" for you. I really hope things will work out for the best. I myself is working full time and I have been contemplating on requesting part time or even permanent disability since I am stage IV. I know it's difficult to let go.

Helen

[Her2nSue]

Like everyone before me has said, this may be a blessing in disguise. It's hard enough to battle this cancer if you are able to be home, but to struggle even harder with a full time job on top of it, is tremendous sucking away of what extra strength you may have. Take those extra hours that have been given back to you and take time for yourself. Sit back, take a nap, enjoy a cold glass of iced tea and read a good story, then think, gee, I'd be working right about now....life is too short, find some peaceful time and be good to yourself. Work will always be there.

Sue

[LOPSIDED]

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR RESPONSES. NOW THAT A FEW DAYS HAVE PAST, I DO FEEL BETTER. SOMETIMES I JUST WORRY ABOUT ALL MY BILLS-----THE DIFFERENCE OF 10 HRS WOULD NEVER PAY MY BILLS ANYWAY. I'LL JUST KICK BACK AND RELAX. THANKS AGAIN. SHEILA

[al from Canada]

Personally, I don't think anyone who has cancer should work but that's me. About the letting go thing...aren't there laws in the US against that sort of thing?

Al

[Sandy H]

Al, I agree with you having cancer myself I just don't know how anyone can work!! I have been very fortunate and was able to early retire and go on disablility. My supervisor was so happy when I made that decision and I felt my co workers were as well. My husband provided me with the insurance and he worked for a company who served him well when he had to early retire and go on disablility two years following my disability. We were both in the age group that could do that however, if it had been 10 years prior then we would be in the same situation as some others on this board. My heart goes out to those that have to work to survive, raise young children and live with this dreadful disease. May God Bless them all. hugs to you all, Sandy

[Sonja]

Al, I agree with you. No one shud work and have to go thru this stressful time worrying about work too. I was working full time and the day I was operated was the day I started short term disability with the company I work for (our group insurance). The onc told me not to worry, she won't send me back until I am ready to go back so I will be falling on long term at the end of summer. I will be off about a year or so. I'm making less money but I am also spending less and enjoying the time I have. A friend of mine, who is now on the other side of bc and doing well, told me to embrace this time and think of it as a gift. I'm doing just that, all the things I never had time to do or always put off for tomorrow. I don't know how things work in the U.S. but here my boss can't make me go back to work and actually she doesn't want to see me back until I'm well! I suppose that's because her best friend had bc so she knows exactly how I feel and what I am going thru!http://her2support.org/vbulletin/images/icons/icon14.gif

[Barbara H.]

I think everybody has to do what works for them. I took many years off from work when my children were young and I'm glad I had that special time with them. In spite of the fact that I am stage four, I haven't taken time off from work during the past 8 years except when I had surgery. I teach third grade. The students inspire me and I think working with them helps me to focus on them and keeps me from thinking negative scary thoughts. I even took two graduate courses this past spring. I have to admit, since I had to add Navelbine and Zometa to Herceptin, there have been days when I have felt fatigued and it was hard getting up so early and going into work. However, for me it is worth it and I feel that my students have a positve effect on my immune system. Next Wednesday they will dress up as the characters they chose for their biography speeches and give presentations to the parents. They will also recite two poems, "The Road not Taken", by Robert Frost and Ullysses by Alfred Lord Tennyson. They always bring tears to my eyes at the end when they shout, "to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." For me, it's living with cancer, but not having it consume my life. It is a very personal decision; everyone needs to do what works for them.
Best regards,
Barbara

[Peggy]

I personally have chosen to work. There is some new research coming out that working with breast cancer actually improves quality of life...of course that must depend on individual reactions. I teach at a University and I think my presence is a very positive one for young people. They learn not to fear the person with cancer. The students have held a "jeans day" and a "walk for life" on campus to show their support and many student organizations participated in the "Walk for the Cure". While I know each person has to make these decisions for herself, I find working with young adults very rewarding and keeps me focused on the positive.

Peggy