Attilash
04-23-2006, 05:06 AM
Ciao to everybody! I'm really late in coming back..... so many things to do, so much life to live... but I have not forgotten you, not at all.
Spring has finally come to Rome, it's lovely weather, but it took a few days and it's not been easy. The presumed hand arthritis was finally diagnoesd as a sinew inflammation, so I am on meds to help that get better, and it's a nice thing since my body aches all over, especially the ribs - due to the weather change, sometimes I think of myself as an old veteran form WWI who is always complaining about her war wounds when it rains... but then, it's not a bad image after all, they were heroes, and so am I, so are we all, isn'it? My onc says is normal, to have the bone aching, he also suggests it may be a mild form of "rejection" sort of pain - but I just think it's my body taking over and repairing itself, so I do my best to cooperate, by not complaining too much... ;O)
Re dancing& CUTE LAWYER, for those who might want to know.... I managed to dance with him, and got a lot of compliments <being modest ehehehe :OD> And...My period is back!!! I am so happy about it, they gave me a special med to stop it in order to protect my ovaries (?) while on chemo, and that has been soo hard to cope with. Apart form the usual menopausal nice side effects, such as hot flashes, insomnia, low moral etc., I got so fat (13 kilos more than my usual weight!!!) that my clothes did not fit - had to buy new ones and hated it. But now, since the period is back, I feel so much better, and ...I've lost weight!!! 6 kg. - and I am soooo happy about it, I am almost as thin as I was 5 years ago. A few weeks to go, and then I am gonna take my "skinny jeans"out of the closet, and really really enjoy them!!!!:OD cute boys of rome, beware of me!!!!
back to cute lawyer et al. ... - yes! there are others!!! I realize I need to explain this. Spring is rebirth, and I am feeling it. I sort of died once, at 28 when BC knocked at my door the first time - and was reborn. And then at 33 I died again, because the "dearly devoted cruel friend" stroke back. And now I am reborn for the third time - and I am feeling it completely. I feel the world is my pearl, and I am a hero - but a disguised one. I know in my bones (AND goretex) that I do not need other people to know - but this feeling must show on my face with every smile I do, because there's plenty of people who do say to me "ehi quanto sei bella!" (how beautiful you are!) while I walk on the street, or smile me back, even once a guy stopped dead on the pavement and asked me "why do you smile so much???" and I answered "'cause I 'm happy <you dumb>".
So, aside the cute lawyer, with whom I now dance regularly, a few other cute guys have entered the picture... there is a cute computer-tec, a sweet young soldier, a funny tall accountant ;OD they are just friends and, I dare say, to have a few suitors helps a lot to restore one's self esteem, especially one's "feminine" self esteeem that has so badly wronged by life, accident, God's will, fate or just plain bad luck, whatever you want to call it the why this terrible illness has happened to me, to us all.
Oh, the afternoon is soo nice, I need to go out and smile around me...
I am putting in this post a lot of sun, a bit of sweet Roman air, a picture of Colosseum and a shot of white marble and ancient archs full of old latin script for you all.
Lots of love to everysingleone of you,
Atti
Spring has finally come to Rome, it's lovely weather, but it took a few days and it's not been easy. The presumed hand arthritis was finally diagnoesd as a sinew inflammation, so I am on meds to help that get better, and it's a nice thing since my body aches all over, especially the ribs - due to the weather change, sometimes I think of myself as an old veteran form WWI who is always complaining about her war wounds when it rains... but then, it's not a bad image after all, they were heroes, and so am I, so are we all, isn'it? My onc says is normal, to have the bone aching, he also suggests it may be a mild form of "rejection" sort of pain - but I just think it's my body taking over and repairing itself, so I do my best to cooperate, by not complaining too much... ;O)
Re dancing& CUTE LAWYER, for those who might want to know.... I managed to dance with him, and got a lot of compliments <being modest ehehehe :OD> And...My period is back!!! I am so happy about it, they gave me a special med to stop it in order to protect my ovaries (?) while on chemo, and that has been soo hard to cope with. Apart form the usual menopausal nice side effects, such as hot flashes, insomnia, low moral etc., I got so fat (13 kilos more than my usual weight!!!) that my clothes did not fit - had to buy new ones and hated it. But now, since the period is back, I feel so much better, and ...I've lost weight!!! 6 kg. - and I am soooo happy about it, I am almost as thin as I was 5 years ago. A few weeks to go, and then I am gonna take my "skinny jeans"out of the closet, and really really enjoy them!!!!:OD cute boys of rome, beware of me!!!!
back to cute lawyer et al. ... - yes! there are others!!! I realize I need to explain this. Spring is rebirth, and I am feeling it. I sort of died once, at 28 when BC knocked at my door the first time - and was reborn. And then at 33 I died again, because the "dearly devoted cruel friend" stroke back. And now I am reborn for the third time - and I am feeling it completely. I feel the world is my pearl, and I am a hero - but a disguised one. I know in my bones (AND goretex) that I do not need other people to know - but this feeling must show on my face with every smile I do, because there's plenty of people who do say to me "ehi quanto sei bella!" (how beautiful you are!) while I walk on the street, or smile me back, even once a guy stopped dead on the pavement and asked me "why do you smile so much???" and I answered "'cause I 'm happy <you dumb>".
So, aside the cute lawyer, with whom I now dance regularly, a few other cute guys have entered the picture... there is a cute computer-tec, a sweet young soldier, a funny tall accountant ;OD they are just friends and, I dare say, to have a few suitors helps a lot to restore one's self esteem, especially one's "feminine" self esteeem that has so badly wronged by life, accident, God's will, fate or just plain bad luck, whatever you want to call it the why this terrible illness has happened to me, to us all.
Oh, the afternoon is soo nice, I need to go out and smile around me...
I am putting in this post a lot of sun, a bit of sweet Roman air, a picture of Colosseum and a shot of white marble and ancient archs full of old latin script for you all.
Lots of love to everysingleone of you,
Atti