anyone comfortable going without prostesis?

[Kimberly Lewis]

I know this is silly, but I would love the comfort of not wearing a bra ever again! I have never to my knowledge seen anyone doing this or talked about it. I read about a woman artist who had this photo done with a one shoulder dress and her scar revealed... she did eventually go to wearing a prostesis. I have a double mastectomy and other than looking stupid in clothing designed with breast "pocket" I think I might get away with this. Any experience out there - any observations or comments? Thanks!

[dogladybarks]

Yes, me! I had a right radical mastectomy the end of last July. It doesn't bother me in the least, not to use a prosthesis. Sometimes I wear a sports bra, that's just undershirt material, but that's it.

I do know a few women who had double mastectomies and don't use a prosthesis either. They, like myself are more comfortable without them.

If you are more comfortable without them, go for it. Don't worry about anyone else looking, or someone you know saying something...I don't. There are clothes that can hide it fairly well, and if not...well, so what!

Sue

[Lolly]

I sometimes go without, it just depends on the situation...I've had double mastectomy/no reconstruction.
If I go without, I usually wear loose things, and most people don't even notice; if they do they usually have an "understanding eye", as in our area many women have gone through breast cancer treatment without disguising the fact. Benefit of living in a university town, I think. I always go without around the house and doing yard work, because of lymphedema; the bra/prothesis aggravates it if I'm constricted for more than a few hours at a time. Good luck!

<3 Lolly

[StephN]

Great question.
I have a friend who is in her 60's and had a mast then a second one due to more tumors a couple of years later. She is a winemaker in eastern Washington. When she travels to wine competitions or consumer gatherings, she is very nicely dressed - just has a FLAT chest and a little roundness in the midsection.

I also know of at least two other women from my survivors exercise group who rarely wear a prosthesis and the difference IS noticeable but they dont' care.

Guess we all have to do what feels right for ourselves and individual living situations. There are lots of people around who are not "normal" in any number of ways and they tolerate being stared at by people who did not listen to their mother's "dear, it is not polite to stare."

[Sandy H]

I have had a double and have never gone out in public with out my prostesis or wig. Guess, I must be a vain person! I don't wear them at home unless I have company. I have cami's from TLC catalog that I wear because of my lymphedema instead of bras. I get the foam weighted inserts from TLC and they are more comfortable then the silcone ones-not heavy. I attended an IBC (inflammatory) support, most of them have had double mastectomies and no one was wearing anything and they stood/sat straight and proud. Even though its not me I have to applaued them for doing it. Most people do not know I have had a double or most of the time no hair!! I like to keep it that way. I have to share this with you. One time I had just enough hair to highlight and it was very short but cute. When I went to one of my group gatherings an 85 year old fellow looked at me and said, "I never thought you would cut your hair that short"! I simply said, "oh but I have changed". Another lady sitting beside me looked at me and smiled and afterwards asked me if he really didn't know and I told her, "guess not" and I wasn't going to embarrass him by saying anything. hugs, Sandy

[Yorkiegirl]

Kimberly, I do both. It just depends on my mood.

When I go to the gym to work out I usually wear a sports bra and my shirts are loose fitting anyways.

I love the idea that I can be any size want to. LOL

Vicki

[madubois63]

I had a single mastectomy with tram flap reconstruction. I opted not to get the other one done to match. I had already had breast reduction when I was 23 and did not want to chance loosing the feeling that I had. I am lopsided, but I really don't care. If anyone has noticed, no one has said anything. I do wear a bra sometimes, but mostly wear a camisole with a built in bra. It's great for the hot flashes because I usually layer my clothes. Do what makes you comfortable. That is what is most important. Most people are too worried about themselves to notice us....


..·´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.·´ .·´¨¨)) -:¦:-
((¸¸.·´ ¸.·´ -:¦:- -:¦:-
-:¦:- ((¸¸.Maryann -:¦:-´´

[MCS]

a fellow lady in support has a double mast. She wears a light padded bra but no prosthesis. She's very proud of wearing tank tops also!


Go with whatever makes you feel good.

MCS ( Maria)

[Lisa]

When I first was deciding on mastectomy or not, my accupuncturist told me that some of her patients with one breast go around without a prothesis. I was flabergasted and couldn't IMAGINE myself doing that.

Well, that was then and this is now. After 6 years of one breast, I often don't wear a bra and prothesis. I've always hated bras anyway. I am pretty careful though, to wear loose tops or tops that don't cling when I do this.

I'm one of the few who also go bald when the weather is good. I suppose I'm past the stage of caring much what folks think. I try to be friendly and loving with everyone so I'm more concerned with what they think of my personality than my body.

Love and light,

Lisa

[Kimberly Lewis]

thanks all for the replies. Food for thought, I have really been going around about this. Yesterday I happened to be with two members of an artist guild and they both had single mastectectomies. They both said they would never wear their prostesis if they had a double! I just will have to adjust to it!

[JoyMiller]

I am so glad this has been discussed!! I too have had a double mast and opted for no reconstruction. I LOVE NOT WEARING A BRA!!! Sometimes I feel that I look sort of weird, but it has been just over a year now and I am pretty comfortable with my appearance. I do pay attention to the clothes I wear- usually not knit tops, etc. because one side healed oddly and is concave, but overall I feel great and think I look pretty darned good! I may get a great tatoo sometime- I have seen some pictures of some women who have some pretty amazing designs. I'm not yet ready for the pain and am still in treatment with Herceptin, so I will wait a while. I am comfortable with my decision not to have reconstruction and feel uncomfortable with prothesis or padding. I totally respect everyone's decisions- this is just what works for me.

[athena453]

I have had the double masts and I do wear a bra and prosthesis. I don't wear anything around the house. I do tend to wear more fitting clothing, fits better with a bit of a chest.

[Unregistered]

The most "flat chested woman on the planet"

Bi-lateral in Tight Sweaters :)

[Sue2001]

I had a single mastectomy and often go without a bra or prosthesis. Like Lolly, I have trouble with lymphedema and a bra causes problems after a while. I felt uncomfortable at first but now I don't care. No one has ever said anything to me about it. If I had a double mastectomy I don't think I would ever wear a bra again! I say, do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable.

Sue

[Barbara2]

I have a double mastectomy (55 yrs), and am very comfortable going without a prosthesis. I will wear one for dressy occasions, otherwise, forget it!

It is GREAT! One drawback, though. I need to loose about 20 lbs, and my belly looks bigger with no boobs to help smooth things over. I can see why overweight men look the way they do. Oh well, it still feels good not being strapped up with a bra. :)

[RobinTN]

Hi I am new here.Today is my first day.I have been reading and reading all day all of your posts and am so thankful to find this board.How I admire all of you ladies.

I am 44,an RN and was diagnosed at 42 with inflammatory bc stage 4,w/mets to nodes and liver in 2 areas even my onc didnt give me much hope.But I had chemo,herceptin,double mastectomy,radiofrequency ablation on the liver and just finished rads friday and am on arimidex and have a repeat PET for tuesday and how I pray that goes well.

I just wanted to give a little background of myself.I have never worn porsthesis.
When I go out I am flat and I to have a tummie buldge,but I am as comfortable as I can get for just finishing rads.I have to wait for 6 months before having recon and have no intention of wearing a bra ever again unless I have to.
I also stopped wearing hats,wigs,ets as soon as I got a 5 o'clock shadow.
With all I have been thru I could care less if people stare at me.
I read a saying once from someone on another board that said "I may be fat,and I may be fat,but thank God I am alive".That quote changed my whole outlook on life.

I am honored to meet all of you and cant wait to share and learn from all of you.

[Monique M]

After all we have been through we can do whatever we feel comfortable with. I had a double mascetomy at the age of 39. While I had prosthesises (please excuse my spelling), I wore them when I wanted to and did not wear them when I did not want to. It all depended on how I felt and my activity.

On a similar note, as soon as I had some peach fuzz on my head I looked at my husband and said I will never wear that wig again. That was on a Sunday morning before church. I could tell that it bothered him. He told me he did not want people staring at me. I told him it was their problem not mine. I was proud of what we had been through and that I was alive, hair or no hair, breasts or no breasts.

After 1 1/2 years of no breasts, I had reconstructive surgery (my expanders were implanted exactly 4 weeks ago today). It was time and I was ready. But it all comes down to what you are comfortable with.

Peace and Blessings,
Moniqeu

[margaret]

Hi,

I had a single mastectomy almost 5 years ago when I was 38 yrs old. I hardly ever wear a prostethis. I do yoga and it often is obvious that I only have one breast. I'm proud of myself and proud of my body just as it is. I'm reminded of the legendary 'Amazon women' who supposedly removed a breast so that they were better able to shoot with a bow and arrow. I just consider part of my battle scars and I'm just grateful I didn't have to lose a limb like a leg or an arm.
My yoga teacher was so impressed that she asked me to participate in her yoga video. So now there's a yoga video with a one breasted woman in it. :)

I'm proud of my survival and now I never have a 'bad hair' day. After being bald, I'm grateful to just have hair. It's all in the perspective and how you carry yourself.

It's all about attitude.....and I sure do have Attitude! :)
Live, love, laugh,
Margaret

[Odette]

Great Question Kimberly!

Thanks for sharing your stories Amazons!

Here is mine: I had my mastectomy (left side) in November. At first I was horrified to even look in the mirror to see myself so lopsided. (kinda large breasted - but no way will I get it reduced unless medical need arises.)

In time I figured out the right thing for me: I wear a tight little undershirt and stuff some rolled up gauze in the place of my left breast, (it is so light it stays where I put it and it is non irritating cotton). I joke about it in front of my 19 year old daughter that I have one round and one square breast. -you guessed it is not even a close match, but good enough for around the house.
When I go out I wear a blouse or a cardigan sweater over this and do not feel self conscious about it.

Only for a very formal occasion will I wear my prosthesis + bra.
For swimming I stuff a super light prosthesis in my regular suit, once in the water no one sees it anyways.

I hope this might help someone some day.

Odette

[tousled1]

I had a bilateral mastectomy, got fitted with the prothesis adn think I've only worn them twice. I am quite comfortable going without anything. Also, the bra strap on the left side rubs right against my port. After all I've been through and still going through, I really don't care what people say. I want to be comfortable and I'm most comfortable not wearing my protheses.

[Mary Jo]

I, too, rarely wear my prothesis. For quite sometime I never wore them but just recently started wearing them again now that summer clothing is being worn. I am very comfortable going "flat chested" and it is also extremely comfortable.. Hey, I look at it this way........all those years of HAVING to wear a bra and wishing I didn't have too (God I was really only kidding - hehehehehehehe) now I don't have to if I don't want to so I don't.

You have to do what you are comfortable with it. As with everything else, we are all different. As the saying goes "different strokes for different folks"

Hugs and God's Blessings,

Mary Jo

P.S. When I had just the one breast removed then I always wore a prothesis because that was lopsided and VERY noticeable.

[ekoen]

I too love this question ... I had a bilateral mast followed by reconstruction, followed by rads. then one of the implants had to come out because the skin opened up on the radiated side. As of 1 month ago, I have one implant. how stupid is that...to have one reconstructed breast? I feel like I have to wear a prosthesis. i am thinking about having it removed just to be even and unemcumbered by prosthesis. love to swim and be outside in the summer and don't want to give up any muscle for reconstruction or invest any more time - sorry i did went along with the whole reconstruction idea in the first place, but we can't go there. I have never posted before but find this enormously helpful. Thanks to all of you for giving so generously of your knowlege and experiences.

Esti

[Tricia]

Hello everyone....

Since I started my chemo and lost all my hair I thought I would look terrible bald...but I dont. I am really okay with it. I rarely ever wear my wigs or hats... But I go for my Right Mastectomy this Thursday April 19 and I am really nervous about having only one breast...I was okay with it up unitl this last few days and it has all of a sudden hit me...that I will be lopsided. For sure I would rather be alive with one breast than gone with two...but I have had all these questions like where do you even get a prosthesis? I am sure I will have recon but only after all my chemo is done, which will be about this time nest year. One never knows though maybe it will be like my bald head...once it's done I may not even mind huh

[Chelee]

When I first had my MRM last year I did get a prothesis for the one side. I felt I was too lopsided not to have one. Then just recently I got my simple mastectomy and I really thought it would be nice to not have to wear a bra or anything since I have a matched set now. If I could get rid of my tummy a bit...I would have it made. But when my stomach sticks out more then my chest...makes me un-comfortable. So when I go out I will be wearing something...I feel I have no choice due to the way I'm built. But here at home I never wear a bra. I'm very comfy at home. Kim if you can get a way with it..I say go for it. I know I would in a heart beat. :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tricia, Your feelings are very normal. I just recently had a prophylactic mastectomy & I thought I was totally fine with my decision until the night before the surgery. Then wham...2nd thoughts! Some times things seem fine till the reality of it sinks in. So many decisions to make...its not easy.
As far as where do you get a prosthesis...you might want to check with your own cancer center. They might be able to direct you. The place I go to has their OWN little shop that carries prothesis, wigs, caps, camisoles & you name it. Check and see if you have something like there handy. If not call the American Cancer Society...I am sure they can tell you where to go. In fact, I am sure many of the ladies here can help you out. :) Hang in there.

Chelee

[dlaxague]

I go flat, too. I got the bra and prostheses and expected to wear them after bilaterals, while waiting to decide on reconstruction after treatment. That was 6 years ago and they never made it out of the bedroom. Just too uncomfortable, and instead of making me feel better, they made me feel costumed and MORE aware of what I'd lost. I gave them away eventually.

I'm not svelt enough to wear things like these and besides they are for unilaterals mostly, plus I'm told they're very very expensive. But what an amazing job they did of making lopsidedness look very pretty! The website is in Dutch but it's the photos that you want to see. http://www.lobstar.nl/ . Maybe some of you who are handy with a sewing machine will be inspired.

Debbie Laxague

[Jean]

Beautiful Ladies,

I just had to think about those skinny unhealthy models who bounce around
with their bones hanging out......

You are all beautiful with or without.....
God Bless all of you!

Hugs,
Jean

[Louise O'Brien]

I don't know if this properly addresses the issue of "going without". I had a mastectomy on the left side only - so feel quite wierd going out looking so unbalanced.

About two months ago, I went to a shop that specializes in bras and prothesis. I spent hours in the dressing room and was quite exhausted. But, in the end, I left with a bra that was really comfortable and a prothesis that is equally comfortable. Luckily, the owner helped me and I can't stress this enough: you really need the assistance of someone who knows what they're doing. The owner took over from one of the salesgirls who would not have fit me properly.

For a time - it looked like they weren't going to be able to find a proper fit. The owner told me it can take minutes for some people - and hours (in my case) for others.

What I have now is so comfortable, I sometimes forget that I'm wearing it. It's not heavy and actually makes me feel more balanced. I could wear tight t-shirts and you would never know. It is working so well for me that I may not have reconstruction surgery although I will be consulting a plastic surgeon in June to hedge my bets.

It is not cheap though. Luckily, we have access to a government grant which paid for half of it and my husband's insurance will cover the balance.

I think though that if I had both breasts removed, I would go without.

[eileen765]

I had left masc last year. I haven't worn a bra since, despite being quite large. Breast nurse gave me a softy thing it ended up under me chin, should have pinned it. Then upgraded to a chicken fillet, didn't like that either, it felt heavy and was afraid I'd be going round in circles. Ha ha Don't think anyone notices to be honest. Perhaps when my treatment is over I might want to. Love to all you ladies out there Eileen

[Soccermom]

I had bilateral masts 1/9/05 and I NEVER wear my prosthesis. Had axillary dissections on both sides and have some long term nerve issues...bras just feel horrid, so no prosthesis. I don't miss those 34 DD's harnesses a bit!
I work in retail in Ladies Better Clothing and have invented a "look" that works for me! I sometimes get self concious but all in all feel pretty good about how I look. The only thing I hate is the "mans" belly type thing that I get going on if I am bloated or have been indulging too much!
Todays layered look with tanks and camisoles make looking good ,easy.

Best wishes,Marcia

[Tricia]

just testing

[suzan w]

I had a bilateral mastectomy, no reconstruction, no prosthesis...just ME!!

[Mary Anne in TX]

Hi All! I had a right mast. and wear my pros. nearly every day! It did take a while to get used to it, but now that I have I really forget about it. I bought a bunch of those really cheap bright colored camisoles from Walmart, Dress Barn, etc. and wear the prost. inside with no pocket, etc. It stays in place next to my skin because of the temperature here being so warm most of the time. I tried to get the surgeon to do both sides, but he didn't want me to do that. I kinda wish that I had fought for it, because it would have been so much easier to go without prost. on the days I wanted to be super comfy! But, I'm pleased with the Amoena pros. I wear and the natural way it looks! I don't wear the same clothes as I used to, but close. I do wear the prost. in the pocket bras sometimes, but don't find that as comfortable as the camis! I guess you just get used to about anything! Love to all, ma