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View Full Version : I never go to other boards, but this is a horror story....


al from Canada
11-28-2005, 11:07 PM
This is probably not an all to uncommon tragedy, (today was the first time I have visited another support board for about 1 year because this one is obviously the best and who has the time these days?? This post summarizes EVERYTHING we have all been preaching about overseeing your tx plan; here's what can happen if you let your guard down with devastating results!! )

My sister, who recently turned 40, has just died of breast cancer.

My sister was diagnosed with breat cancer in 1998 when she was 33, and had what we thought at the time was a successful mastectomy. Because she had 6 positive lymph nodes, she underwent local radiotherapy on the site of the scar, and systemic chemo with LMF to clean up any left over cancer cells.

She had oestrogen postive, HER2Neu negative, high grade Invasive Duct Carcinoma.

She was placed on anti-oestrogen pills since her surgery.

We thought she was fine until 2002 when she the cancer appeared in her hips and bones.

My sister never wanted to confront her cancer head on, and this lead to our first monumental mistake. Since her adjuvant chemo, her doctor said that her cancer was a thing of the past.

Unfortunately, this meant no screening, no annual scans, no check-ups, no follow-ups! He cancer re-appeared in 2002, however could probably have been detected in 2000 or 2001. When we finally realised what her 2 years of back pain were, the cancer was very advanced in her spine/hip.

She underwent radiotherapy on her spine/hip, had 3 cycles of A/C, and started on Zometa.

The radiotherapy stopped the pain pretty quickly, and the A/C made her feel good in a short space of time.

However, it didn't last long. The zometa gave her osteonecrosis of the jaw, so the infusions were stopped.

The cancer kept on progessring in her bones, and eventually made it into her lungs, her liver, and her scalp.

She went on Taxol, and after almost dying from this chemo, nothing improved. She was getting worse.

I tried to convince her oncologist to stop the Taxol as it was obviously not working, and was causing too many complications.

I wanted my sister to move onto Navilbine as it was less toxic, had less side-effects, and would at least be no worse than the Taxol. Her oncologist said No!

This was probably our Biggest mistake.

One week before my sister died, the oncologist agreed that the Taxol was not working.

By this stage, the cancer had progressed into my sister's eye, her other breast, her ovaries, her intestines, and had engulfed her lungs to such an extent, that she could not breath without oxygen.

She was in and out of hospital, and she was now too weak to try another IV chemo.

She was placed on Xeloda, but was given the wrong dose (one third of the actual dose that she required).

By the time we found this out, she was one day away from death.

She finally got the right dose of Xeloda, and died 12 hours later.

She died due to cardiac arrest. Apparently, the numerous lung mets put such stress on the heart, that it simply failed.

I am racked with guilt, because we let her oncologist push us around.

I can't get over the feeling that more could have been done, had we had an oncologist that listened, cared, and didn't give up on my sister at the drop of a hat.

We made many many mistakes, by simply accepting the advise of the doctor.

Stay Vigilant,
Al

StephN
11-28-2005, 11:17 PM
Was that in the Canadian system??

Terrible story ...

al from Canada
11-28-2005, 11:56 PM
Steph,
I went back to the web site so I could answer your post and I believe it came from Austrialia but: i read the rest of the treads and posted a response, welcome to the U.S. Al

I read your post and cried..again. My sister, Lisa died August 25, one
month and 6 days after being diagnosed with stage IV BC, with mets in
liver. This is all her onc in B'ham told us, I called and was given
little info, even though Lisa had signed for me to be included in the
info. They told me that she had "three spots on her liver" and no other
organs involved. He gave her 1st and only chem on 7/25. By this time
Lisa had such ascites that she was SOB...there was no help and no info
from the onc. We went to Tulsa on 8/15, where she was told the liver was
fully involved, her ovaries were tumor filled and the SOB was
exacerbated by pulmonary effusions..all had to have been there 2 weeks
earlier. At this point, there was nothing to do but comfort as she was
in liver failure. She died on 8/26..and I feel your pain on listening to
one onc..maybe the month before she went to Tulsa would have not made a
difference, but it was not until 7/25, after the chemo, that she became
very ill. I know hindsight is 20/20, but trusting an MD when your gut is
telling you different is not good, but when money is the prime focus of
an onc..care is not the best. I only wish our 2nd opinion had not been
so long.

Unregistered
11-29-2005, 06:06 PM
My goodness..that WAS a sad story to read. I suppose the fact is that doctors are human, and like all humans, they are not perfect and without error. We expect when they are "playing" with our lives that they are absolutely sure of what they are recommending. I suppose, like every profession in the world, there are some that are excellent, some that are good and others that have no business practicing. My sister's mother-in-law critized me for not trusting in the doctors...as though they are perfect, without error and I might be offending them by suggesting my sister get a second opinioin. I guess people don't realized that most of these doctors when faced with cancer, or any other illnes for that matter, would be seeking 2nd and 3rd opinions.
I'm not convinced my sister had the best treatment, but I am convinced that we tryed everything to save her life...I have no regrets, but only wish that her cancer had been caught earlier. I feel for the person who posted...thanks for sharing that, Al. It's a good message for everyone.

Celina
11-29-2005, 06:11 PM
I forgot to log in...last reply was from me!

Becky
11-29-2005, 07:02 PM
What I have learned personally (since I switched onco's in the beginning of August having been with the first one 11 months) is that being a doctor is a job, just like you and me have a job. Some people love their job and make it their life's work,and some people don't do their job. Both of these types are at opposite ends of the bell curve. Most doctors are in the middle and do their job and go home. These are the types of doctors most people have. It is not bad to have this kind of doctor if (personally) you have a good relationship and you can talk to this person and they will investigate what you ask (if they don't know) and work with you. However, if you don't have that kind of relationship or are not comfortable with "telling" the doctor what you know or the doctor feels he/she is "the doctor", that is when real trouble occurs (because most people do know when they have a really bad doctor). Its the one in the middle and how you can communicate and have a working relationship together (or not) that can be great or a disaster.


Obviously, the ones that make it their life's work is the best situation as they also do their own investigating and tend to be confident in their own abilities that they relish (and desire) learning anything they can from anyone - including you. This is a real prize and when you find one, you just know.

My first doctor was one in the middle and we could not communicate (and as you on this board knows by now - I will communicate) and he was not confident to admit he did not know but would find out (this would have made him keepable).

It also drives home that you cannot be quiet when it is your life and you know something your doctor doesn't. You have to fight even if it strains the relationship so much that you have to move on (for me it was when my onco insisted that the protocol for adjuvant Herceptin via the recent ASCO meeting was 6 months from diagnosis when it was really 6 months from the last chemotherapy (now the NCI says 12 months from the last chemotherapy). At the time I was 3 1/2 months from my last chemo and I wanted my Herceptin). I secured it and had my first treatment 4 1/2 months from my last chemotherapy and the first onco agreed to give it to me after Sloan was going to give it.

So you have to get with someone you can talk to and work it out with and is confident with themselves. Open-minded. Do I think my first doctor was bad. For me - yes but one of you could go to him and get everything you want and more. I think our personalities didn't mesh and I was an afterthough as well as that he didn't like me so he had no interest in me and my case. That is a bad situation to be in and one that you have to remove yourself from because things will always be caught too late or the newest thing will be communicated 6 months after the fact (if you are the type to not keep up yourself).


Best regards

Becky