Melissa Etheridge as BC spokeswoman

[TriciaK]

I am glad we are all making Victoria's Secret aware of their gaffe! I have read several comments concerning Melissa Etheridge as BC spokeswoman appearing on Oprah and several other TV shows, representing BC survivors. I didn't see her, but from what some of you have stated that she said, I am incensed. Is there anyone we can write or email or call to voice our objections about the false information she evidently voiced in our behalf? Do some of you who have commented earlier want to add your opinions here if it's worth pursuing? Hugs, Tricia

[Becky]

I will gladly help you out. I was thinking that later tonight I might write a well written letter to Oprah in regard to having Melissa as a guest and try to set the record more right but I will wait to see what you and everybody else wants to do (ie: I can write a letter from all of us but post it here first and get "approval" etc).


So... I will see what everyone wants before doing anything.

Best regards

Becky

PS - still waiting on Victoria

[Leslie S.]

I saw Melissa Etheridge on Oprah and was not offended at all. I think she spoke of her own experiences, which I know at least some of us, can certainly relate to. The diagnosis of breast cancer is devastating and chemo is generally not a "walk in the park". Please let her live her own journey. I felt her new song "I Run for Life" to be very powerful and uplifting. I have downloaded it from iTunes. I certainly would not wish it be included in a negative letter to Oprah!
Leslie

[TriciaK]

Leslie, I didn't see any of the TV talk shows Miss Etheridge was on, so perhaps I am out of line. I am only going on what was reported here by others who did see her. According to what they reported, while it's true she does have a right to her own journey, I would hope that her comments as spokeswoman for BC were more accurate than what I understood. I would be interested in more comments from those who are more knowledgeable than I on this. Do you agree Miss Etheridge's presentations were accurate and uplifting or not? To me the question still is not what her own opinions and experiences are as much as how she represented or misrepresented us all as BC survivors in what she said, and in the information about BC and treatments which she gave out as spokeswoman.
I appreciate and value everyone's opinion and ideas. Hugs, Tricia

[madubois63]

I've seen the interview on Oprah, and while I was not completely happy with the way she portrayed chemo (I think she scared a lot of people), Melissa told it from the only point of view she could - her own - period!!! In her defense, she only had a very short amount of time to talk. The way the commercials were promoting it, I thought she had the show or at least a good part of it. She had just a few minutes, so she may not have been able to say everything the way she wanted to (and maybe she has chemo brain still lingering - I know I do). I didn't see the Dateline interview, but did see the Lifetime special and THAT was great!! The facts were on, it was honest and man, she rocked!! Tears were flowing from everyone in the audience and I cried too. I see know reason to complain to anyone. At least she is not promoting mistletoe injections like Suzanne Somers.

[kristen]

I am not out to lam bast M.E. I think she has every right to tell her story as she knows it to be true. She choose to take on this role and to me there comes a responsibility with it. She could have come out with her new CD and told her story, but she is doing press to do awareness for BC. Am I wrong in thinking that she should be MORE responsible with what she says? There are a lot of women who are listening to her, is it good or bad?
When someone tells an audience on Regis and Kelly that Stage 3/4 are death sentences and you have BC survivors and there parents and children listening to her what are they to think? When she is on the Oprah show and she tells them how dark it was and how bad chemo was, what is someone who is just dx going to think? As if hearing Cancer for the first time was already frightening?

I am sorry she had it so bad, but she made choices that maybe could have prevented some of her side effects. But it's her journey, her dance with the beast and we all do it differently.
Chemo is no walk in the park, I agree, but I bet most, most women, still got up, took there kids to school, some worked full and part time jobs, drove themselves to chemo and only missed a couple of days of work.
I just think that it should have been more of a balanced representation of who and what BC patients and survivors go through.

Tricia, I wrote to the Koman Foundation, like Becky and VS, I have not heard from them, and I intend to write to the Ford Motor Company. I don't hate her, I just want her to be more responsible.
The YSC board wrote numerous letters to Oprah with no response that I have heard of. I went to Live with Regis and Kelly & there is no place to comment.
Should we give her a break because she just got out of chemo and has chemo brain? I don't know you tell me, I just want the sponsors to know that I have walked for them, I have donated money to them, I have bought there cars, but I won't put up with any misrepresentations, we have been fighting this cause for a long time, everyone knows what a pink ribbon stands for, do we really want someone to misrepresent the facts of the strides that so many women have taken, the lives lost before us, the womens lives who are now being prolonged and are stage 3/4 what is the scare tactic for? Chemo is better tolerated now than before am I wrong? Everybody can do what they want, this is just my opinion.
And for the record I like her song too, maybe she should stick to that it's what she does best.

I went to her website and looked at what her fans had to say about what she said and you can link on to them.


http://ubb.fanasylum.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php? Cat=0&Number=683449&page=4&fpart=1&vc= (http://ubb.fanasylum.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php? Cat=0&Number=683449&page=4&fpart=1&vc=).

http://www.fordvehicles.com/thecause/melissa/- Ford promo for SBE

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9673481/- dateline interview

[al from Canada]

I didn't catch the inverview and I'm not really sure what the fuss is about however, heroes and villians all have one thing in common: people love to talk about them. Maybe this will upset the "right" people and they will apply pressure to push even harder for the cure!

When it comes to this disease, my personal view is, "the more noise the better!" Without the noise, good or bad, it will fade into the background. Soooo, let's write our letters, good or bad, make lotsa noise and, as long as we keep the bigger picture in perspective, it will all be for the greater good.

Just my thoughts,
Al

[StephN]

That is the trouble with sound bites - they only give a small part of a large picture. This attention deficit society does not have the patience to sit through much information on one complicated subject. These shows just skim the surface.

Maybe we need to get hold of Oprah's schedulers and offer to have a group of us on for an extended period so they can get a picture of REAL STAGE III and IV survivors. Follow a few of us on an average day and see just how we really DO live.

My 2 cents.

And Melissa Ethridge can promote pot if she wants, but I sure didn't need it and I had a hell of a lot more chemo than she ever dreamed of!!
I think Oprah needs to do a show with all stage IV survivors as a counterpoint to Ms. Ethridge's representation of US.

[sarah]

Didn't see Melissa E on TV since I live in France but I agree with Al, noise is good. And if everyone keeps pretending that this whole bc business is easy, we won't get more help - like working people getting more paid time off or help with schedules or from family and friends, etc. It's too bad she scared some people but as some of you said, let the other side talk but talk is good for us. Particularly when the government wants to cut spending for research to pay for their tax breaks!

As I said in another post, Melissa Ethridge worked on a charity film project with my husband and I and gave generously of her time and talent without any payment and came to the film shoot alone, drove herself and sang her heart out. There were no publicity people around to make a news story out it so I'd say that showed her to all of us there as a geniune, caring, giving person.

I'm sorry for anyone with this disease, particularly those who are having a hard time and admire their courage - I feel I've been relatively lucky so far.

As my neighbor, a longtime cancer survivor, says "Get angry and fight this disease like a war." Melissa seems to have made some of you angry and motivated!

I wish everyone the best.
Sarah

[TriciaK]

Well, this has been a most interesting thread! I for one have appreciated all the comments. I think once again StephN has a good idea: I bet Oprah would love to have a group of her2 survivors on her show! (And then maybe everyone would know that her2 is not a perfume!) Send Oprah the info and maybe she will set it up. I always like the approach to solving problems by suggesting a solution rather than just a criticism, and that is what so many of you have done better than I. I appreciate the website info Kristen gave us. As always I am amazed at all the variety of good comments and ideas you all come up with. And Al is right: any publicity is better than none! Maybe some of you sharp ladies can give the media some better ideas for next October. Hugs, Tricia

[Unregistered]

People like Melissa are actresses by nature and so the chemo being really dramatic, dark and scary is apropo. For most of us it is scarey but we carry on and don't make a point of it. I was a little embarassed by the concert and the emotionality of the songs, but that's me! If money comes in for research it's good

[Unregistered]

Hi! Did Melissa Etheridge really say that stage 3 and 4 are a death sentence? No one has ever told me that and I have been depressed ever since I heard it. I guess I will have to ignore that statement because I do not intend to live my life thinking like that.I will continue to fight and pray, pray, pray with the Lord by my side. God Bless- Cathy

[Lolly]

Cathy, if she did say it she is sadly misinformed! As you may know, there are many on this site who are years out from Stage III AND IV diagnosis, myself included. I've been Stage IV since January 2001, and live a fairly normal life with what I consider a chronic disease rather than a fatal one.

A couple of days ago I posted a link to her interview with MAMM magazine, and she doesn't make that reference there. I didn't see the Ophra show the others have been talking about.

<3,
Lolly

[kristen]

yup....that is where I pulled the stage 3 an 4 statement...to speak of that is not speaking her truth...last I heard she had stage 2...
but whatever, she can speak and the world will listen because she is a celebrity...with that comes the responsibility to speak the truth and a statement about stage 3 and 4 being death sentences, if she said it, is NOT he truth...and could be harmful...and that is all I was referring to


I love that Melissa is talking about her experience and hope that she continues to do so. However, speaking as a stage 4 breast cancer surivior who is actively involved in helping new breast cancer patients and trying to instill a sense of hope and control within those people, when she makes comments like the one stated she demoralizes those stage 3 and 4 patients and scares every other stage about the difficulties of chemo.

I realize that she had a terrible experience with chemo, going thru it is hard on everyone. We all manage the side effects of chemo differently. Melissa choose not to use anything to manage her side effects but pot. Great that is her reality-I choose to use traditional medications to manage my nausea and vomiting and had minimal problems and was able to have a normal full life where I could participate fully. Great that is my reality. But what is important for any cancer survivor that wants to help?

Is it strictly telling your own story? Or is it the ability to tell your strory in such a way that you instill courage and strenght in the people coming behind you. Because we all know that there are more that will be diagnosed with breast cancer. That is why Melissa is even telling her story-to try and raise awareness and funds. For me it is more important to tell my story so that is provides courage and strenght that they can/will win over this terrible disease.

Since I have been dealing with cancer since 2003 for the most part her statements roll off my back. But I have personally seen the impact her statements have on the newly diagnosed. They terrify them. It is not for the individuals who have been dealing with this shit that Melissa should be more careful about what she is stating, it is for those that are just now being diagnosed or starting treatment. Those are the individuals who she will impact most.

For myself, some of her comments bug me but has she herself states she is talking from her experience not mine. I have spendt 16 of the last 25 months on chemo. Went thru the exact same chemo as her and more, yet I did not stop because if the problems I expereinced, neuropathy being only one, like she did. Why, because her priorities and mine are different.

Her career makes neuropathy dangerous, I understand that. Do I agree that she should have quit chemo. Personally, no but it was her decision and I respect her right to make it. In my 2 years dealing with my reality I personally know stage 2 survivors that have been 'cured' that are now stage 4 survivors.

There is no certainity for any cancer survivor regardless of the stage that their cancer is diagnosed that their cancer will not return, period. They could go one year and have it back or twenty years and have it return. That is the sad reality of all breast cancer survivors. Another fact for all young breast cancer survivor is our cancers tend to be more aggressive.

Hope no one is too offended by my comments but I did want to bring up how some of these comments impact people.


I, for one, certainly don't fault Melissa for telling her story. I'm glad she is, and here's hoping she can tell it many times over and raise awareness about this horrid disease. It just bothers me, and other BC sisters, when the generalizations start, outside of her story. Breast Cancer, no matter what the stage, is a scary beast. No guarantees for anyone. No cure. Some people get lucky. I hope I'm one of them. I just have a problem with anyone making generalizations about stages and "death sentences." I don't think it's appropriate for ANYONE to assign that sort of label to stages 3/4. Its just insensitive and simply not the truth. Otherwise, I appreciate that Melissa can tell her story and be open and forthright about her experience and the need to find a cure. We are still losing far too many women to this disease.

-- ------------------
Stage III Breast Cancer Survivor

[MCS]

HI all!


I think that the shows of or about Melissa Etheridge are about breast cancer, not her trip. She can only speak about her trip, not yours or mine's. The better choice is to voice. Speak about your experience, be a leader, post on all sites, talk about it, become a support for another woman and pull her

We all take this trip differently.

This is about AWARENESS. Bring information to the people about one's person's experience.

To me awareness and forhrightness brings BIG RESEARCH FUNDS

Research funds brings things like herceptin, vaccines, gene therapy. THIS MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE TOMORROW

MCS

[Unregistered]

I have sat in many a "chemo room" with stage 1 and 2 women having their first round of chemo and I know now it is a different world. Not that anyone is better than anyone else but stage 1 and 2 are fairly innocent about the rest of us. Also there is more of "I beat it" attitude and not at all seeing it as a chronc disease. There is often such a look of shock on the faces of women if I tell them I have been going through this of years. I am often asked, "when are you due to be fiinished here?" I have learned to not say too much as not to scare them.

[brigittamparish@aol.com]

I am a 14 year Breastcancer Surviver. When I saw Melissa on Oprah's show ,I was very happy for her and her recovery. I think that every woman that had Breastcancer has her own experience and thought's abaut it .
After her show I went and baught her new album , witch I played and listent too yesterday. I was very touched by at least 4 song's that brought the whole spectrum of breastcancer and the fight to be brave through it all back to me.
I also bought her pin's that she sells at hard rock cafe and will proudly wear them.
Sometimes the only people that work for a couse are celebeties. They can do alot for us , but can heart us as well. In the case of Melissa Ethridge, I think she truly want's to help. Please let her do that and do not take every little word of her's and twist it.
A suviver , Brigitta Parish