MICRO-managing our healthcare!

[jessica]

I'll be the first to yell from the rooftops about "Advocating for Ourselves!!!" but to what extent do we have to go to make sure our healthcare "providers" are doing their jobs?...I know the answer to that...we do what we have to do to get the care we need.
But, whenever I make that extra phone call or send, yet another email reminder, I can't help feeling like I'm being a nuisance. It's all so frustrating & it makes my relationship w/my docs feel a little adversarial.Then at the same time, I don't want to piss them off & be a "problem patient".
Sometimes/most times, I feel like I'M dictating my care & I only need the onc to sign the orders for my drugs or scans.
How do you guys out their maintain a "friendly" relationship w/your docs yet still be a strong advocate for your care?

[pattyz]

I hear you! What I have done from the beginning is let my onc know how much I value him/his experience and understanding. Until he went on a 'diet' I would bring him treats for a special container I had given to him. I have given him cards....on our first Ann. flowers... and now I make sure to give him a hug at end of appt. That might not work with all docs, tho' :o)

I have also told him, looking him in the eye as I said this: I want you to know how much I value your opinion based on your experience and training. Even tho' I keep asking these questions, making suggestions and wanting certain tx's. I want you to KEEP making your suggested tx protocals and giving your opinion to me. I also ask after his own health, wishing him good time off and rest etc.

He told me he has a seperate file on all the 'stuff' I've brought him. He THANKED me as he said he doesn't have the time to keep up with it all... so there!

So, that said...... I have also alienated the rad onc I had for my three SRS procedures. Since he was working on my brain, that was quite stressful... The next two I've seen know him quite well as he is a big muckity muck in the rad onc world. oh well....... I did try with him.

good luck :o)

[Lisa]

Jessica, oh Jessica! PLEASE be a problem patient. By that I mean ask lots and lots of questions; feel free to talk to them as long as you need on whatever topic. "Problem" patients also survive longer, according to Bernie Siegel.

My doc once said, "I'd rather you call me anytime, than have to meet you in the ER on a Saturday night."

Love and light,

Lisa

[Lisa]

I find that if I use humor when I can, it helps the relationship with my onc.

Back in March when I was scheduled to meet with onc to go over my latest scans, I had a cake baked to take. You see, the scans ALWAYS show some good, some bad. So the cake, complete with a baby's butt was...

[imported_Joe]

Lisa,

Glad to see you back. We were starting to get worried when you didn't answer Sassy's post of the 6th of September.

I once came across a button that said:

"It may be your job, but it's my life"

All of the women on this site should follow this rule.

I would suggest that Christine and Lyn do an online tutorial on how to train your oncologist. Lyn seems to have hers under control. In Christine's case when she has a brain MRI, the doctor who reads the pictures calls up Chris and they both go over the results on the phone...before he even sends them to her radiation oncologist.

I've also got a gut feeling that Chris is also trying to train me.

Regards
Joe

[sassy]

Lisa,

Glad to see that humor, and glad to see you posting!

Sassy

[Doris]

Do I every understand your problem!!! I am seeing an oncologist who is part of a group that takes care of a region of community hospitals. At first he refused herceptin since I have been out of treatment since Mar. for early stage breast cancer. I told him and his staff that I trusted the care I get at the medical center but I wanted a second opinion. I wanted to be sure that I was doing everything in my power to beat the cancer at this stage. I then went to a big city medical center (Wake Forest) in Winston-Salem, NC. The oncologist there said he would give me herceptin. I went back to my oncologist at home and explained to him that I am in good health and not getting any younger(52 now). He agreed to give me Herceptin for 6 mo. He told his staff that I want to aggressively fight my cancer. I again reaffirmed that I trusted the care I am getting and I am very happy to be driving 15 miles for treatment instead of 150.

[al from canada]

Dear Jessica,

Maybe you should end your e-mails with:
"10% of the time I'm a problem patient but I want to live 100% of the time!"

Al