ct report

[joy]

Hi everyone. I just had CT scan (every 2 months for me right now) and the report siad that small liver and lung involvement is just wiggling like it does. However the new thing it said was, "1cm low-density lesion noted in lumbar vertebrae. new from last study"

My last scan 2 months ago was really great and my markers were creeping up a bit around that time and then they dropped before this scan. My blood work has been perfect (CMP, CBC, etc)

So it looks like now i may have bone involvement. I know i have been so lucky to be so healthy and live with visceral involvement with easy treatments and i really am not ungrateful. I just feel like now that i've crossed over to a new area that i'm losing.

Does this mean that the brain is next?
Does this mean that the decline begins?

My eyes are so puffy i just can't even write anymore. Anyway, i sure would love any feedback or encouragement or a cure, if you have one.
love to you all,
joy

[Bonnie T]

Joy
I don't have any experience with this that will help, but I did want to offer words of encouargement!! I am so sorry you have to go thru this , but know that we are here for you, and I am sure that there a people of this board that can help you. Stay positive but also know that you have the right to be mad , sad and angry !!!!! not knowing is the hardest !! Be strong and we will beat cancer !!!
God Bless
Bonnie T

[Brittany]

Hi Joy,

My Mom was diagnosed with liver and lung mets in March '04. All has been stable until this summer a small spot popped up on her T10 vertebra. She has since had the spot radiated and started chemo again after a 9 month break. She is doing great and her doctors didn't seem too worried about the bone involvement at all. I remember her dr. said - now you might not have been expecting this, but we were. And that it was a blip on the radar screen but totally manageable. They gave her no indication that it meant that it was headed to the brain next or that it was anywhere near the end. They even said to her that they would treat this as a chronic disease and knock it down wherever and whenever it pops up.

All the best,
Brittany

PS I used to attend Northern Colorado in Greeley. :)

[Mary C]

Hi Joy,
I just read your post and just wanted to say that I am thinking of you - your post brought tears to my eyes - life can be so cruel!!
I know how hard it is to stay positive, but I hope you have a great family and friend support group to help you!!

Mary

[Guest]

Hi Joy, I totally understand what you're feeling, however right now is not the time to re evaluate too much you're in a bit of a panic state right now, and you'll probably notice that your breathing is shallow too, which also continues this cycle of not being able to think straight.
Anyway that's what I feel anytime there is a set back. Last summer I was dx'd with liver mets I did chemo and surgery. This spring I was dx'd with bone mets, what a shock I spent my whole 34th birthday in bed all I kept thinking was here we go... this is the beginning of the end!!! It hurt so bad to look at my 4 kids and think of how they were going to be without me and blah blah blah......I really let the panic take over... Bone mets is the easiest to treat out of all the mets there is.....As far as I know anyway....
I guess the shock will just have to wear off and then pick yourself up, dust your self off, put the gloves back on and climb back into that ring and kick some butt!!!!!
I'm sending you gentle hugs ((((((Joy)))))) You can do this!!!!
Tammy

[jojo]

Dearest Joy,

I very clearly remember the terrible feeling I had when my onc nurse informed me of my new lung lesions. That happened very recently, like 2 weeks ago or last week. (I tend to lose track of time very easily nowadays.) Anyway, I also recall that as soon as my shoulders dropped and my heart went beating faster, I was like, AAGGHHH!! :-( Right there, I just told myself to try to be calm -- "come on, listen up & be calm!" I was saying to myself -- and take deep breaths. "Deep breath, deep breath, and more deep breaths!" Then I decided to hold a self-talk session for a better time, like when I got home from the appt. I just didn't want to fall apart at the clinic, especially when I had to go upstairs for my weekly Herceptin.

Well, after I got home, I was basically beating up myself over this. Then I was like, OK I am allowing myself to wallow on my own time, but then what do I HAVE to do, when I am done feeling sorry for myself???? Alrighty, cancer has ALREADY happened -- OK, this really SUCKS!! -- and I simply cannot turn back the clock. I decided to put on my fighting gloves and take little baby steps FORWARD as I go along...

I hate it when we get lousy scan reports! :-( Well, Joy, you are definitely NOT alone in this; my heart aches for you. We are all in together with you. I just know that you have portrayed inner strength & happiness in your past posts, so you will EVENTUALLY feel better about it.

Hang in there, kiddo!!! Yea, this is so very disheartening, but your doctors are already taking good care of you.

Sending positive energy your way & you are in my thoughts. Hugs ~ JO.

[tammymarie]

oops I didn't realize I wasn't logged in before. I am Tammymarie.

[Lisa]

Joy,

We should really get together. Maybe we can make some sense of all this...or at least we can cry together. Lunch? I'll come there.

Love and light,

Lisa

[StephN]

OH Joy!
This TOO shall pass. We are always severely tested when there is some new progression of our disease. However, you should at least talk with your doc's nurse case manager. Or the onc OR a good rad onc about this immediately. At my clinic - the second there is a "bad" report, an appt is made with someone or a group of docs who have gone over your case. This is all within a day or two. They do not let us go through a long period of bemoaning and imagining all kinds of things.

I know several women who have had lesions on their spine successfully treated. One is an older lady who had SIX spots radiated and that is 2 years ago. Now that lady's sister of 72 just had a lumpectomy!

let us know what the docs recommend - and do NOT let them make you wait around to find out.

[*_Celina_*]

Joy,
Bone mets doesn't mean this is the beginning of the end. I know a lady who has a spot on her spine for over 2 years and hasn't had any treatment for it. It has not even grown....so be strong, Joy. Let us know what doc says...please.
Celina

[Susan M(PA)]

Why don't our docs prescribe a punching bag with gloves?


Joy, I agree with everyone you can do this!
I've managed to knock out lung mets twice in three years.
Keep on those docs.

Susan M(PA)

[triciak]

Joy, that beautiful smile in your picture tells me you are a positive fighter. You have gotten some wonderful support and advice from this site, and I hope by now you are feeling better and ready to tackle this new "revolting development". You have probably read my posts about having been DX'd with mets in two vertebra over 15 years ago. I felt like you did, it was the beginning of the end, but I picked myself up, and decided to keep fighting---the mets never grew or changed and finally after 5 years of tamoxifen were pronounced healed. So take a deep breath and know you can do whatever it takes. Remember: breathe in peace and breathe out stress! Hugs, tricia

[*_tami_*]

Joy -

I am sending you tons of love and prayers of support. So much of this disease just doesn't make sense and so when I just cannot shake my feelings of despair or fear, I visualize myself curled up in the fetal position, being gently rocked back and forth in the palms of God's loving opened hands. I say God - but that can mean universal love, Buddha, whatever or whomever you associate with total love, comfort and understanding.

Many times this has helped me get out of my head and give it up to a higher power and find some peace in the madness.

I am so sorry you and your kids are going through this but I know you are strong and can battle this back.

Love,
Tami

[al from canada]

Joy,

The good news is:
1: we have this wonderful technology to catch these things early,
2: this is bone invilvement, not CNS involvement,
3: this is highly treatable with rads,
4: you have been taught that you can't drop your guard,
5: this little glitch has given the people on this board the opportunity to tell you how much we care about you.

Don't panic, just take care of business and keep thinking of the 100's of reasons why you keep fighting because..... soon there will be something around the corner.
take care,
Al

[mamacze]

Dear Joy,
It is almost like, if you had to deal with this alone, you could probably do it; but when you look at those precious children that you live every second for; it almost makes it unbearable. Panic is an in your face reality.
We can feel and relive that moment of panic and oh, how we want it to be better for you.
If you can hand it over to God in your quiet moments, please do and then visualize that cancer and think "eat shit and die"...advise I got from my loving sis in law once and every time I think of these words it makes me smile.
So climb back into that saddle; we are with you 100% girlfriend, Steph has good advice; don't panic alone, meet with the docs and as Al says, take care of business, the cure is waiting for you just around the corner.
Love ((()))) Kim from CT