fight or die; with a bit of humor thrown in!

[al from canada]

I've posted before on this topic but now everything I suspected is confirmed: Cancer patients get up to speed! (esp. if you live in Canada)

Everytime we go to a Doctors appointment, doesn't really matter who it is, (I go to all of Linda's appointments with her), we get the same reaction. The conversation goes something like this:

"Wow, you look great, how do you feel? Any recent lumps or bumps? No eh? So...how LONG has it been? 18 months since the mets?"

By this time we are both starting to feel special.

'I know you guys are disappointed in the last scan results but..... well it HAS been well over a year!"

Now Linda is starting to wonder why she hasn't died yet.

"Well, you know that you were very very ill!"

Now I'm starting to wonder why she hasn't died yet.

"well, let's keep doing what we're doing and I'll see you in a few weeks"

Please don't misinterpret this dialogue as I'm NOT knocking our doctors...quite the contrary; they have accepted us 100% as partners in Linda's medical recovery. Dr. Webster for Washington said to me that the first goal of U.S. medicine is to achieve remission and then the second goal is to keep the patient in remission. The first goal in Canadian Cancer treatment is to achieve "stable disease".

Linda had her 6 month appointment with her surgeon today; the one who performed the lumpectomy and put in her port. He also considers Linda as the local shining light of cancer survivors: 18 months with liver mets????

He put it quite in black and white terms: the only reason Linda is doing so well is because we are scrappers, fighters, vocal and always are persuing the other options.

My thoughts: if you don't keep looking at other options....you won't have any!

[Lisa]

It was wonderful reading this post, Al. Thanks for sharing your feelings.

Love and light to you both,

Lisa

[*_IRENE FROM TAMPA_*]

To Al -

I can truly relate to all you just said and what Linda's doctors have said to her is almost word for word of what I have heard.

I am a 9 1/2 year survivor and also had mets to the liver. The mets stayed there for 3 years and we managed to keep them "stable". Finally got rid of that one and now have recurrence to a node behind the liver.

My doctors think I am "amazing" - and I am starting to think "how can I still be alive" after all of these recurrences/treatments. I know what you mean about starting to feel special.

But the fact is that "we" do have to look at our other options. I am constantly reading, asking questions, trying somehow to figure out how this monster is working inside of me, so that I can beat it at it's race. So I do believe there is something to being a "fighter".

Linda sounds like she is just that also and she is very lucky to have you by her side and doing all that you do.

My best to Linda and yourself. I enjoy reading all the info that you find for us Al. Keep it up. You make my job easier.



Take care - Irene

[Doris]

Amen to your post!!! My oncologist denied me herceptin because I have been out of treatment for six months. Soooo, I found an oncologist at a large medical facility that said he would prescribe it. I am Stage2 and the new oncologist said this drug could cut my chance of reoccurance in half!!!!!
Ladies, decide what is best for you and go for it!!!!!

[joy]

My local onc office likes to tell me how i have "exceeded their expectations" (3+ years out from liver met dx). It just sounds so "report card". My specialist says that of course i will live a long time and that i'm a "movie star"(it's about time someone noticed!). The point is WE know what strong, stubborn, smart advocates we are for ourselves and that we have BIG expectations for ourselves like most "normal" people. So i listen to what i need to and disregard what i see as nonsense and it works for me...now about that film career...
with love and respect for all of you,
joy

[StephN]

Al wrote:
"Dr. Webster for Washington said to me that the first goal of U.S. medicine is to achieve remission and then the second goal is to keep the patient in remission."

This is true ONLY if you have a med onc who goes with this route. Look at how many of us here have to get after their docs to give them some drugs that work - not just pussyfoot around and try one then another. Just get tough and try to outsmart those canc er cells.

This is not easy and requires very often some harsh treatment. But, many of us can withstand this treatment and go on to live, even with some side effects, etc., but we ARE alive and can get off chemo.

OR, some of us have chemo-resistent tumors and Herceptin is the saving grace.

Thanks be to God that my med onc was of the mind in ACTUAL PRACTICE that Dr. Webster spoke of.

You have raised a very good point. If the med onc really wants to save the patient, there has to be a better goal than "stable."

[susie]

Oh thank you for writing that! We are not here just to comfort each other but to help one another find a light at the end of the tunnel. I can;t tell you how many cancer patients I have seen just waiting it out till nothin works anymore. Just passive and resigned, it's just so sad. And ocologists (some) go along with it---because from the moment they call you "metastatic", that's it, you're on a path to death---dead meat. Just watch what comes out of the mouths of some chemo-nurses. My husband calls many of them, "Nurse Doom". Just the word, "palliative" tells you alot. I really don't like the cancer treadmill at all, and I just hold myself as much as possible from emotional involvement with it ie, "we're all on the same path (we're dying of this disease), let's get together and have a big comfort thing". NO! Let's help each other get remission, even when it looks impossible.