Almost done

[rosenose]

Ok, I am almost done with herceptin. Was stage 3C, and will complete weekly herceptin in two weeks. Had mastectomy, radiation, Taxol/AC. I had HD 21 years ago. So, what a journey this has been. When I began treatment 1 year and 9 months ago, I believed I was the sickest person in my family. since then, have lost my oldest sister to kidney disease and my husband to suicide. I find that my husband's death takes up most of my time, in terms of mourning, etc. I am mad at myself that my health has taken a back seat to the grief I feel for my husband and sister. I am overweight, in the midst of menopause and out of shape.... any advice ladies on how I re-group? Mourning takes up so much energy.... as a single mom I find I put myself always last. and, I know that by not taking good care of myself, I am compromising myself, and could be setting myself up for a recurrence. I am not sure what I am asking all of you... just some encouragement. Life has kicked my butt the last several months. The board looks wonderful, by the way. Peace to all of you.

[Lolly]

Rose,
I can understand how overwhelmed you feel; I am just in awe that you're dealing with all that's happened to you and your family this year...you are one tough lady.
When I started treatment 5 years ago, I had to MAKE myself take time to do the things that were necessary for me to survive; ie a good diet, exercise, putting myself first sometimes but not all the time as that's not good either :) It helps if you set one goat at a time, such as "today I'm going to exercise for 10 minutes". Once that is worked into your daily regimen, then increase the time gradually. This works well with dietary modifications also, tackling one aspect of your diet at a time. There are now some entire days when I realize I've done it all! Other days life happens and I didn't keep all my promises to myself, but I reslove to start anew in the morning. Over time, you will teach yourself to take care of yourself first, then you will have more to give to others.
You can do it!

Love, Lolly

[StephN]

Dear Rose -
Glad to see you visit the board again. Seems not enough time has passed to allow the kind of healing that you really need. Not only the length of time, but the actual time to take out of what life hands you on a daily basis to face all those emotions and ride through them so that YOU can do a better job for your self.
Like Lolly says, sometimes we have to move forward in little baby steps, but the main thing is to take them each day, no slacking. Lord knows I had a hard enough time without the major losses you have suffered, and I had to do a lot of "inner work" to get to where I am now with this disease and what I can do in life. It was not until I faced all my fears that I could lighten that load and turn that energy to doing some good for me and my family.
This is all rather abstract advice, but I would hate to see you back in treatment for not taking better care of yourself during this wretched time. It is not easy to rise up from such blows, but I feel you have it in you.
It is not easy to "talk tough" to ones self, but sometimes we won't listen to anyone else. These changes must come from within.
May blessings come your way and the light begin to dawn.

[Rozebud]

Rose - I think about you often and wonder how you are. I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Two thoughts on this. (1) In order to be the best mommy you can for your kids AND be here for them long term, you HAVE to take care of yourself first (easier said than done, I know). But think of taking time for yourself and helping your children, and it might be easier. (2) My sister-in-law passed away 3 years ago, leaving her husband alone with 3 little ones. He is SO good at taking time off for himself. He gets babysitters at least once or twice a week and takes time for himself....golfing, sailing, whatever. I think men do this easier than women. Maybe try that approach?

[Kristen]

Rose,
The post before this have said it all, and I don't know what I can ad to give you on any advice.

To me you are a remarkable, strong woman. They say God only gives us as much as we can bare, man, sometimes she can load you up. Your still here. That is strong. That's really strong. Be proud of yourself. I am proud of you. Take Care k