Another Country Heard From

[Lolly]

Charlie,
While I think your thoughts and comments are well meaning, they are perhaps misplaced. Most come to this site for support and much needed informatiom regarding Her2+ cancer, and I think you're using this as a forum to lecture about your personal beliefs, which is inappropriate. I hope you take this under consideration, and try to keep in mind for future posts.
Lolly

[Charlie, Sandra\'s husband.]

Thank you, your point does have merit to it. I just assumed the people who post and read messages here would be interested in what I had to say.

Since about 90% of those who responded did so in a negative manner, I will have to admit my perception was wrong...

God bless, and thanks for your polite and courteous reply...

[Ron, Cyndi\'s Husband]

Charlie, I believe your heart is good but your message is wrong. You see, no matter how much husbands care and want to make everything right and find reasons for this horrid disease in our loved one, we are outsiders! These ladies (and a few men)are in a fight that you and I can only observe. Our wives have a disease that they DO NOT deserve under any circumstances, let alone if they may have allowed their immune system get a little low.

Please stop analyzing why she has the disease and start looking for ways to help her beat it. The first and most important thing to remember is that the claims for the herbal remedies ARE NOT necessarily proven. Ther have been few,if any scientific studies or trials like the chemicals these ladies have pumped into their bodies each time they visit the cancer centers.

Charlie, our best and most important part in this whole mess is: 1. Support, Support, Support. 2. Unconditional and demonstrated love. 3. Genuine care, do things just for her comfort. 4. PRAY and share her with others, they want to pray for her too. 5. PRAY like your life depends on it..IT DOES! 6. Depend on Jesus. (That may not be politically correct but it is still MY belief.) The way we show all this is by telling her how good she looks to you, yes even bald as she is. I can only kiss the top of her head when she is bald - and I love that too. Try doing some cooking and house cleaning too - you will be surprised how much better she will feel!

Do some research for things that are on the horizon for your CANCER SURVIVOR. There are a lot of things that are exciting. Such as the new discoveries and things that are coming out of and going into clinical trials. My wife is not too interested in all the details, but at least I know some semi-intellegent questions to ask the Oncologist. Find out if there are trials that might suit your wife's situation.

God bless you and your precious wife.
Ron

[Sandra]

I think you all have the wrong impression of my husband. He IS my support and God is our strength.He has been with me for every doctors visit and treatment.
He didn't make that comment about my immune system...I did. He was telling you what I said. It is true we have lots to learn but we have also learned a lot.
I started off getting support from some support groups and I have read things from people I dont agree with but I let them voice their opinion without comment.
Try not to be so hard on my hubby. He is all I have :)

God bless you all

Sandra

[lolam]

Thanks for your post. You are just like my husband. He just supports me in every way. I need that more than anything else. He always helps me to put my faith in God and trust Him in every way. I know that God is ultimately in control of every single thing that touches my life. He has always been in control of everything. He would have me eat well and not abuse my body and that is a good Biblical principle that we could all remember. But He is ultimately in control: he allows things to happen for my ultimate good. And He has been with me every step of the way and given me courage and peace. I pray that you and your wife and all of us in this struggle will learn to live each day to the fullest. We need to love each other. It helps. Hugs, Lola