need help with doom and gloom thoughts

[anonymous]

I have fairly rapidly progressing disease that is not responding too well to chemo and I am on prednisone that makes me very emotional. Add these 2 together and it is not a mix for a happy outlook. I find myself dwelling on things like this is going to be my last Valentine's day ( more than likely true ) and each family milestone that passes reminds me that this is the last one. I realize this isn't helpful but I can't control it.
Any ideas on how to handle these negative thoughts. I understand the saying live for each day but as each day passes, it seems like there are fewer left.
Hope this isn't too much of a downer.

[pattyd]

Today is Valentines day! I woke up to sun and a pancake breakfast cooked by my loving hubby!My daughter sent me gorgeous flowers! It is our 17thy anniversary in addition to V day. My son and his family are coming for a visit and pizza later today. I have stage IV ca -mets to brain- know from what all is going on my time is very limited. I do take a day at a time. God Bless everyone of them! Today iw beautiful. Tomorrow may not be but God willing I will be alive to enjoy whatever God hands me for the day. Please dont give up- Use whatever energy you have to focus positive and enjoy time with friends and family even if you just sit and talk. Sometimes I mowst pleasure just curled up in my favorite chair talking to my kids and watching the grandchildren play . God will watch over you and we are all in this together. You have many angels here and elsewhere watching over you. Stay strong. God Blesss. PattyD

[Steph N.]

Feeling "down" is natural at times like these. I Thinkback to the time 2 years ago that I was given less than a 50% chance to live out the year. What did I do??
First - I decided to surround myself with positive and restful energy, like playing the CD's that help me relax and get out of my self pity. I kept the answering machine ON so I don't have to get the phone if I didn't feel like talking to anyone. (Some people have a way of trying to help, but making you feel worse.)
Second - I decided to get rid of some stress by taking care of some nagging things that had been sitting around and staring me in the face. (With over a year of treatments and all, I was tired and letting some things pile up that I needed to take charge of.)
Third - a decision to try and be the "exceptional cancer patient" came over me when my mind and heart had cleared a little. I found the book "the Making of Herceptin." I read about people liker Ginger Empy (who I always wanted to somehow contact and let her know how her story had inspired me - and here she is on this site!)
Fourth - during the period of not knowing whether my tumors would respond to treatment, I tried to devote just a little time to what I would like for my final days and burial. I got something satisfactory in mind, but did not write it down, thinking I will do that when the time is nearer.
Well, I still havenot written those things down as I came out of my poor prospects with a much better than expected outcome.
Try to somehow take charge of your days - try to get something postive doneeach day and you WILL feel better.
Easier said than done - as I have been in those shoes. Took a great deal of effort to manage. Let yourself find strength in some activity, whether only mental. It will help.

[Leticia]

Dear Steph N.
I just wanted to tell you: THANK YOU!!! Your answer was very helpfull. I do not want to writte anything else, but I could´nt go sleep without telling you how well your words did!