Anxiety help - NEW topic

[jojo]

Hey ladies, we all experience anxiety bouts, thanks to our pal, cancer.

Just wondering, if you have EVER felt like pissed off for simply being anxious or depressed??...

I tell my pastor that I'm just tired of feeling like this and ready to let it go. He tells me that I'm on my way out. I hope so!! :-)

This is a post-treatment period for me. Done w/ chemo, surgery, rads. Onc declares me in remission for now.

I'm not a big fan of taking meds, ie anti-depressants, that's why...

Now, I'm seeking volunteer jobs and home study to get depression / anxiety out of my system. Eventually, I need to have paid work soon, though, to bring better bacons home. :-) I think my mind is telling me to become tougher in my fight against cancer!

[eleanor]

JoJo
I think I know what you mean, but I think my anger was more along the lines of fear. After being done with the initial chemo etc, I felt lost, like I wasn't being active in my healing. I was angry and depressed, not because I had come through the battle and not because of "why me?" it was more of - I know it's coming back and the wait is going to kill me!!! Does that make sense? I actually felt that I would prefer it came back so that I could get it over with and go back on drugs. that way I felt I was fighting back instead of just being a sitting duck. Stupid in hindsight, but I guess we all react differently. As far as I can tell, I am back in remission (atleast until they tell me differently - labs/scans clear so far). I still feel the fear, but this time it's different. I'm not angry, I'm just so thankful for another year of life.
el

[Sandy]

Anger comes from 2 things. Fear and hurt. Some times our bodies react to situations we have no control over. Then, some times we do. That is what I did was found volunteer work, new friends, and hobbies to do at home. It worked well as once I starting volunteering it all fell into place for me. Working wasn't an option that I wanted to do. I had too many friends working and I listened to their stress of the working world. You will do just fine and with a good atitude you will win. I found a wonderful friend at support group and now we are helping others with cancer through a new organization she was in the processing of starting. Blessings and hugs, Sandy

[jojo]

Thank you, Ron & ladies, for replying. I always feel better when somebody responds to my board messages!

Here is a tid-bit about myself: I grew up with a grandmother who had battled bipolar (maniac) depression all my life. It was a mixed blessing when she finally had left us to heaven, only because she was always sad and nothing (ie, meds, our family support) could ever seem to help her. It was as if she was antipicating her death for years, when she did not even receive any 'death sentence'!

She was like a 2nd mother to me, as my own mom was a working mother, and so grandma was an inspiration to me. Bless her sweet heart.

I'm working so hard not to carry such a pitiful attitude that she had experienced. I thought it was sad that she was sort of wasting her life away, like a sitting duck.

Perhaps that is why I feel the impatience to get rid of my depression and just move on. I must admit, I've been a bit restless, like somebody with ADD! :-) Unfortunately, you cannot change the way your mind works overnight. It's a slow process.

One reason of my depression is LACK of friends that I have. Because we are young, everybody is busy being pregnant and raising babies/kids, I'm on the other side, basically fighting for every day of my remaining life! I guess we're going through different phases concurretly.

All the more reason I would love to hear from you! I've post my email address above.

Sisters, we all can do it together! Hugs