Depression

[lu ann]

How does everone deal with depression? I am stage 4, doing well on chemo, pain meds are working, take effexor for depression, but still get panic attacks about having cancer. I just can't believe I'm going through all of this and I feel all alone. I have joined a support facility which offers all kinds of programs for everyone touched by cancer, called "The Gathering Place" in the Cleveland, Ohio area. I'll be attending tonight and I know this is going to help me. I actually look forward to my chemo treatments just so I have other survivors to talk to.

[michele u]

Lu ann,
i think most of us have dealt with depression of some sort. They compare a cancer diagnosis to post traumatic stress syndrome. You will do ok for awhile, then something will set it off. I have a certain hairspray that the lady gave me when i got my wig when i was dx last year, whenever i use that spray, the feeling of first hearing the dx comes back and i feel sick! Effexor is a good drug. I am on that too. It helps with hotflashes also!! What dose are you on. I started on 75 then went to 150. I'm just now trying to back down but the hotflashes are worse. You need to be on xanax for your panic attacks. Effexor won't help that. ASk you Dr.!!

[Linda in Calif]

I don't take anything daily for depression but on the occasional day I get an anxiety/panic attack I have Ativan 1mg. It doesn't weird me out and only lasts for 4 hours by which time I am usually able to cope again. It also helps me to get to sleep at night if I have trouble. Don't think you are the only person dealing with these feelings...most cancer survivors that I know are using some kind of medication for depression/anxiety. You shouldn't have to feel badly, there are many different medications out there that can help you...it's just finding what works for you. I hope you feel better soon. Take Care, Linda

[eleanor]

Hi Lu Ann,
wow, depression is tough and it's the very thing that makes this battle so grueling mentally and emotionally. We can handle the pain and fatigue, we deal with the nausea and hair loss but the hurdle of being positive is one that is tough to jump over.
I don't know how long you have been dealing with your illness and I am not familiar with your family status or age. I can tell you, though, that I have at times been gripped with fear that is so strong that I literally can not leave my house. I have had nightmares of being suffocated or tragedy coming to my family. I have felt lost, alone and was so distraught I was actually unable to cry. I tried support groups, but that didn't help. So what did I do????????????????/
At first I just let it ride it's course. I believe you have to go through stages before you come to terms with this. When you are ready you just have to take a deep breath and say that you are no longer going to allow yourself to be a prisoner. Take baby steps, perhaps a short trip to the grocery store, walk around the mall or a park. Focus on what you have and repeat to yourself that there are people who would trade places with you in a heartbeat. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. No matter how bad it is, there is someone who considers you lucky. Make that your mantra.
NO MATTER HOW BAD THINGS ARE, IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE. Repeat it until you believe it.
Take it one day at a time, focus on yourself in a positive way and you will eventually come to terms with this and will be able to lead a fairly normal life.
We all get depressed and scared. We get nervous before scan results and we sweat the tumor markers. Every new pain brings new anxiety and with each passing birthday or holiday, we wonder if it will be the last one.
Every one is here for inspiration and guidance. Read the stories and see that many of us have walked through hell yet we're still here with our families and we're happy.
You're not alone. I hope this new group works for you and should you feel the need to unload, email me at home. elcalabrese@aol.com
I will be praying for you.
el

[Audrey]

Hi LuAnn, I was excited to read your post because I, too, live in the Cleveland area and am very familiar with The Gathering Place and all the wonderful support programs they have to offer. I know you will find help for your depression there--they have support groups just for recurrent/metastatic survivors, as well as individual counseling if needed. I was diagnosed at Stage III almost 3 years ago and have been going to the Gathering Place regularly for various programs to boost my spirits--drum circles, scarf painting, even belly dancing classes--but one of the most helpful things for me was to take advantage of Reiki--schedule yourself a free Reiki session there ASAP--it did wonders for relaxing my mind and body. Their library also has wonderful books on dealing with cancer & guided imagery tapes...After raving about the Gathing Place, I also have to tell you that my anxiety started after treatment ended, when I felt like I was just waiting for the cancer to come back, so my doctor recommended Paxil, which can be good for depression and anxiety (hot flashes, too). So take advantage of counseling and other alternatives, but if nothing works, don't be afraid to take medication if needed...Here's my home e-mail if you'd like to keep in touch-I'm 39 and live in Shaker Heights,--thewhites1234@sbcglobal.net. Best of luck to you and hope to see you at the Gathering Place (mark your calendar for the group drum circle August 5th--a real communal, healing experience)--Audrey