Lauren

[rozebud]

What was your ER status - highly positive as well??

[Ruth]

Dear Lauren,

Your post touched me greatly this morning and I had to take a break, go outside, let go of some tears...
I am actually thankful that you wrote what you did. I had an imagine of you from your posts that you were a different person than now what I read. Not in a bad way - just different, at least different than me. Now I see that we have more in common, not only our diagnosis with Breast Cancer. I have had these horrible dark moments when my thoughts consume my normal thinking process and I get anxious and depressed. I think crazy things and wonder what on earth am I here for? Why did this %^&$ thing have to happen to me? Should I plan my funeral? Who would I want to come and what would they say? Morbid isn't it? These don't last and thankfully it is for a very short time. And then I move on. I asked a very good friend of mine, Patti, who is 11 years out how did she cope? She said that she still copes. It is much easier for her every year but it never goes completely away. She said she has about two "moments" a year now. She went to therapy and took medication for almost 5 years after diagnosis. Then her life became fuller with other things and she started to slowly slip away from living under a cloud.
I guess what I am trying to say is thank you for writing and sharing. Thank you for letting it out. We care so much about our fellow warriors with this disease. We love you and want to reach out and give you a HUGE squeeze.
Take care and I hope that you feel so much better about yourself today.
Peace, Ruth

[nikki uk]

Hi Lauren

Geez, do i know how your feeling?
I get days when i think that it would be better to drive down the motorway and hit a big truck head on, but then i think of awful atrocities like what happened in Russia recently and also 9/11 and i see that what happened to those people was far worse.....they didn't get a chance to fight, they didn't get a chance to live one more day and appreciate all the good that life still has to offer, they didn't get a chance to tell thier kids, mum's, wife's, husband's etc that they love them, they didn't get a chance to spend a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the park walking the dog, they didn't get a chance to go to the movies and eat honey covered popcorn, they didn't get a chance to breathe in the first air of Autumn, they didn't get a chance to bathe in bubble filled waters, they didn't get a chance to watch crappy TV soap operas all day in thier pyjamas, they didn't get a chance to dig thier spoon into a big tub of Hagan Daz, they didn't get a chance to smell thier kids wet hair after a bath, they didn't get a chance!!!
What i'm saying is life aint fair, not to any body, but sometimes there's some really good bits to savour, like strawberry and banana smoothies.....I hope you feel better today!
All my love Nikki