BC Awareness Month :(

[nikkiuk]

Hi

Is it just me or do any of you feel like running to your room and hiding under the covers for a month?
I realise BC awareness month is a good thing for making people aware of the BC risks, but i cannot handle anymore sad stories of the women who have died from this....Maybe i'm running away from facts? i dunno, i just hate hearing about these things, for instance, i picked up a magazine in my dr's waiting area and in the centre was the stories of 2 very beautiful young women who had battled (i hate the word battled) with breast cancer for 5 yrs and died, leaving behind young babies with thier fathers, i hate thinking this is my future.
What plans can i make knowing that the "C" word is lurking behind every door waiting to pounce and attack, oh hell i wish i could just run away and find a safe place where cancer dosn't take up my every waking moment.
My son had tears in his eyes yesterday because he saw a TV article about a lady who had died, he ran to me begging me not to die, how do i deal with this pain? if anyone knows please share!
I hate what this is doing to my son, and my husband.....hubbie tries to blank it out and pretend all will be well, i wish i could do that, my relationship with him is wonderful but i feel that it has turned into a brother sister relationship instead of two people who have only been married 2 yrs....we are in seperate beds, we never do you know what, we never kiss like husband and wife, its just swift pecks on the cheek, surley no guy can take that forever, GRRRRRRRR I HATE BREAST CANCER!!!!!
Nikki x x x

[Rozebud]

I don't have any words of wisdom, just wanted to say I understand. I feel like there is always a cloud over my head when I think about it. My best days are when I'm busy and don't have time to think about it.

Understand on a personal level as well. Sex is no fun anymore, we have to use condoms now (yuck), and having one breast, no hair, still a little baby fat, @#%&@#l dryness and being tired all the time (think the baby has an ear infection, she's been up a lot at night lately) how are we supposed to have a normal sex life? I used to enjoy sex :( .

[Sandy H.]

I am glad you brought this up. This is one thing that is never mentioned in support or from the oncologist!! My best friend that I met in support have talked about it but no one seems to know what to say when we bring it up. No one ever told me to use condons. It should be a big part of the healing process for us. Hugs, Sandy

[michele u]

Nikki,
That really worries me that you are not sleeping in the same bed as your husband. Why is that? I know it is REALLY hard to shut off the cancer thoughts and have sex. Believe me, it was really hard at first. I was angry at my husband for even asking.Then at first i just did it because i was sick of him asking. Then after time went on, i started to feel into it again. It was slow, but it does come back. Its different, but for us it has been better. I know what you mean about men wanting things to be ;ok again. Mine is the same way, he won't talk hardly at all about cancer. I've excepted that so i talk to my friends when i need that. You two need eachothers energy to make it through this cancer journey. Get back in the same room, that's the first step

[THERESSA]

Steph, remember, a diagnosis of breast cancer doesn't necessarily carry a death sentence with it. Our attitudes as BC patients is probably as important as our medications. As for dying, well, let's face it, we are all going to die someday. It's just a matter of time. As to whether I die of BC or something else, only God knows, but I plan to live every day as if it is the first day of my life. As for your relationship with your husband, you two need to talk. If you can't do so by yourselves, go see a counselor or call the American Cancer Society, they can recommend someone who can help you. The same goes for your son, at least try to talk to a minister who has been trained as a counselor, it sounds like you and your family can certainly benefit.