From my daughter...

[SoCalGal]

My daughter recently got a tattoo of the word "fight" on her wrist. I wanted to share the words she wrote, when she sent me the picture of her tattoo appointment. (Words that I wish I never had to read).
Thank you for letting me share this with you. xoxo Flori
Stage four of four and you can't go any further. Stage four of four and my mom is dying and my world is a brick wall that hurts my eyes to look at. Her world is an inevitable cliff and it makes her dizzy to look down. I would do anything to stop time just as she would do anything to break through that brick wall. Step back to stage three of four, stage two of four, stage one of four. Step back to when cancer was an obstacle, not a lifestyle. Step back from your wall, from your cliff, from your life. Step back and look up, speak up, stand up. Live it up, and never let them make you give it up. Keep fighting. --GBH<o></o>

photo: Gali Firstenberg

FIGHT tattoo.jpg

[suzan w]

Dear Flori, Thank you for sharing...you have raised an awesome daughter. She speaks for all of us. FIGHT...

[chrisy]

Oh My God!

Flori, I am speechless (but not tear-less). That is beautiful, terrible, wonderful.

Hugs to you and your daughter.

Fight.

[lilyecuadorian]

Please tell your dear daughter that I got tears falling when I read this letters, blessing I'm pray GOD to give us enough life and strenght to live until we find the cure for her2 thanks for share

[Mary Anne in TX]

It's love like this that makes fighting worth it. It's the reason for fighting and winning. She's a wonder and is so lucky to have you for her mom! Everytime you come close to the edge of that cliff, look out and up and see the sun, the moon, the stars. All placed there just for you! ma

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Wow, Flori! Your daughter is as eloquent as you are. Her pain is throbbing. I can feel it. And it shakes me to the core.

Stage 4 of 4 is not a good place to be. But, I pray you do not see death as the next step. You are up against a brick wall, but I see that it is starting to crumble. It will turn to dust long before you do! Your Spirit is focused. Your Intention and Expectation are fierce. You can destroy the wall, brick by brick, with your impassioned thoughts, with the chemo, with the power of the energy of your will... If one person has done it, YOU can do it.

The next step is not inevitable, as I see it. You can tarry here for a long time. In Life! Day by day becoming victorious over your wall. Others have done this. Nothing is impossible.

I can understand wanting to stop time. With our diagnosis comes a new way of being. No matter what stage. It is a sorely unwanted reality. We can and do resist. Rail at accepting it. But sooner or later we see that holds only pain. The pain is in the struggle. For sanity, we get past aching to change what cannot be undone. And come to see that victory is in taking control of all our reserves to FIGHT. Mortality is inevitable for us all. And I know that those facing cancer know this most keenly. So, often we cringe and feel overwhelmed and defeated. But then we rally. We reach deep into ourselves and connect with the divinity that resides within us. I have learned that in aligning myself with my Spirit I get in touch with the glory of each day given to me. The sacredness of Life. And that is a blessing.

I learned to live AS IF what I wanted already existed. That awareness in turn allowed me to live with joy and serenity, even as I faced my brick wall. *KNOWING* my desired outcome was on its way to me, even as I suffered physically, as my cancer cells died. So I was able to live spiritually uplifted even then.

You are in a process of healing, Flori, as I see it. Various factors are working to correct what is malfunctioning in your body. Destroying what is not worthy of being within you.

I agree with your daughter. STEP BACK FROM YOUR DIZZYING CLIFF. Can you see that the brick wall before you isn't as solid as you think...? You need an elevated perspective. In silence you can rise up, above yourself, and become The Observor. Then you are free to harness the power of your Spirit to overcome it all. Your daughter, and her indelible tattoo, are living reminders that you must FIGHT, Flori, with every fiber of your being. Her statement could not have been made more boldly!! Each time you set eyes on your lovely daughter -- remember not to even consider giving it up.

I pray you do not see yourself as dying. You are so vibrant! I can feel your Essence. Like a tree that appears withered and past hope, you can be saved. Do not dig that tree up and uproot it. It is still alive! Nurture it and see it come back to Life.

I can hear your daughter saying, Do not give up! I add my voice to hers. And many others I am sure will join the chorus. Get up, Flori and RUN FOR YOUR LIFE...

With my love,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Take my commas . Take some strength. Borrow some courage. I have ample to share. I have emphatically refused to give up. Stage 4 of 4. You have done this. It is the hardest thing to do. But you can do this again. You just need to regain your footing. Please, come over here, and sit by me!
Andi

[Becca]

Flori, your daughter's words are moving and an inspiration for us. Thank you for sharing them. When I look in my 23 year old daughter's face, feel her arms around me, feel her sadness to see me go through treatments and side effects, I can feel her strength ebb into me giving me life and hope. Your daughter's words, her tattoo must give you the same and make you proud of the lovely, creative lady you raised. What blessings are our children!

[dhealey]

Flori, Your daughters words are so inspiring to us all. Thank you for sharing. You have raised an awesome daughter. I still have tears in my eyes. Reading what she wrote gives us all the strength and hope to keep on fighting. You are truely blessed.

[Bill]

Sweet Flori,, you are an awesome person and your wondrous spirit is shining through for all of us to see. Your amazing daughter is truly a fighter,, and so are you. Both of you continue to Fight the Good Fight! Your daughter's poem left me stunned and speechless. Her words are straight from the heart and soul. You must be so very proud of her. Hugging you both,, and praying for you both,, Love,, Bill

[Sheila]

Flori
What a moving post....straight from her heart...I often wonder what my children think but never dare to tell me.

[kareneg]

That was truely amazing, we have to keep fighting your daughter is a beautiful soul and the poem was the most touching I have ever read. Thank you so much for sharing this all my best.

[Soccermom]

The acorn truly doesnt fall far from the tree,Flori. Her words are both powerful and angry. So sad to know our children must feel our pain so profoundly.

With gratitude for your sharing,
Marcia

[Sherryg683]

You've got me misty eyed, what a daughter. I feel her pain and her love. ..sherryg

[Jean]

Flori,
You are blessed to have such a loving daughter who is able to share her thoughts and feelings, most of all her deep love for you. You have done
an outstanding job as a MOM.......be proud, be very proud.

Regards,
Jean

[Patricia]

Thank you Flori for sharing this. Your daughter's thoughts truly touched me. I have 2 step daughters (20 & 22) and 2 of my own children (18 yo daughter and 15 yo son) and I have seen and felt the pain that they feel throughout this fight that invades their sleep, disturbs their thoughts and disrupts their day to day. Both their dad (and mom for the step daughters) were dx within 12 mos from me and everyone has been fighting! They are so affected as young adults and it is so painful to watch them deal with it and still want them to be so hopeful as young people entering this world.

Thank you again for sharing with us.

Hugs (to both of you),
Patricia

[tousled1]

Flori,

You are so fortunate to have such a loving daughter. Your post brought tears to my eyes. You have done an amazing job raising your daughter. I often wonder what my daughters think - but they won't say.

[belle]

Kate,

I'm pretty sure your daughters think and feel exactly what Flori's daughter wrote and repeats them thousand times a day. Powerful words, one can see how strongly she wants her mom's recovery. It should be a good encouragement and a strong incentive for moms to keep fighting.

[PinkGirl]

Hi Flori
Thank you for sharing this personal moment. It is so sad that your child has had to mature to the point of understanding stage 4/4. She "gets it" and she is a kid. I know that you are very proud of her compassion and sensitivity.

You have each other - she can drag you back from the cliff, and you can soften her brick wall. She ended her poem with the crux of the situation - never give up, never stop fighting.

You are blessed to have each other.

[Joy]

among the weepers. How powerful, beautiful and , yes, sad. You are a fighter, Flori, and she knows it and just think of what you have imparted to her for the rest of her life. Talk about a power, which is so importatn for our young gals (I have 2 daughters). I just wish it came to us some other way. And I really want to copy cat her tattoo-is that wrong?

Keep us posted on how you are doing and tell your daughter that we love her, just like we love her mother!

[Bill]

Still thinking of you,, Flori,, and your amazing daughter. Warm thoughts and prayers to you. Love,, Bill