to lauren with a \"little l\"

Hi Lauren,

I haven't been on the board regularly as I've been busy at work, but your posts were very open and honest as were the posts of those who responded to you. Like Ruth, I sometimes have those "dark moments" when I think "who would I want to visit me if I were on my deathbed" or "what kind of music would I want playing if I couldn't get out of bed or if I had a funeral" and then I move on and take on the day and I hope, like Ruth's friend, that over time these aimless thoughts will come up less and less as my survival gets longer and longer.

So, long story short. When I was in the middle of my chemo, remember how you kept me going with your sweet comment to "hang in there" and you were one of the first to reach out to me and I put your words up on a yellow post-it note to keep me going. Well, my friend, it's still there and will be for a VERY LONG TIME. That is the power of friendship and the true meaning of all this and what we're going through.

Yesterday, I took a yellow Lance Armstrong "LIVESTRONG" bracelet to a pharmacist who had a driver deliver a prescription quickly to his pharmacy. It was a small act, but it made me feel good and I saw a smile on his face. I guess what I'm saying is that none of of us know what's going on in the future and it comes down to making moments in our day that are our victories. Small, but meaningful. Thinking of you making pancakes for your little boys, doing yoga with them and teaching them to grow up to be nice young men (whether they like it or not), these are also the small, victorious moments. May life continue to be good to you. You are deserving of the very best.

Love and hugs from So. Cal.,

Vicki Z

P.S. I think I may dress up as Q-tip for Halloween as my hair is a lot whiter than before (what happened to my blonde base I used to highlight???). It's like down or peach fuzz. Either that or a Hare Krishna. I'm still thinking about it -- Santa Monica Blvd. is wild on Halloween.