Extremely Short Stories for those of you with Extremely Short Attention Spans

[Colleens_Husband]

I wondered why the baseball appeared to get larger and larger. But then it hit me.........

[PinkGirl]

Writing with a dull pencil is pointless.

[PinkGirl]

A seminar on time travel will be held 2 weeks ago.

[chrisy]

Her husband was on a business trip. He was gone for a long long time. She cried herself to sleep. Then he came home.

[PinkGirl]

When the husband came home he took his wife in his arms,
looked deep into her eyes and said "honey, darling, sweetheart, thank you so much for sending me the pb chocolate banana slugs."

[TriciaK]

These are wonderful stories that made me laugh! I thought of a good one and sat down right away to send it , but I couldn't remember the plot because I have chemo brain. On second thought that is probably also why I enjoyed these stories so much! TriciaK

[StephN]

Tricia - You crack me up.

She sat down to write and the thought flew out of her head ...

[Colleens_Husband]

Tricia looked her best friend in the eyes. She admitted "The two worst things about chemo brain is never being able to remember anything for more than a few seconds."

The End

[PinkGirl]

Trica went to a friend's house for tea. She was sitting beside
someone she didn't know. The stranger said "Hi, I'm Margaret ... and
you are????" Tricia replied "How soon do you want to know?"

[Colleens_Husband]

Whatever happened to Daddy, I ask my mother one morning.

Getting two bowls out of the cabinet, she says nothing.

So I repeat the question. Your husband, my father - whatever happened to him?

He forgot the way home, she says as she sets the box of cereal before me.

What?

He went out for milk and never came back.

Oh, I reply. I understand. And satisfied, I chomp on a spoonful of dry corn flakes.

[Colleens_Husband]

When trying to remember how to spell “DVD” try this little trick: “D”eoxyribonucleic Acid may carry out low-frequency collective motion as observed by the Raman spectroscopy and analyzed with a quasi-continuum model (or “V”ibration). Then all you need to think about the father of modern philosophy Renee “D”escartes. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

[Colleens_Husband]

When Henry said that he wanted to be a theoretical physicist everybody laughed. Now he’s a successful Hollywood comedian – who’s laughing now?

[Colleens_Husband]

Randy insisted to himself that one must always look for something positive. "That's the ticket!" he thought to himself as he walked out of the jet airliner, down the gangway to the warm tarmac heated by the bright autumn sun. "Yes indeed, the silver lining of extradition is that you get a free ride home!"

The End

[PinkGirl]

"Fred, you're such a downer. You just said that things will get worser and worser."

"Yep, that's what I said Art. You go from bad to worse and then the cycle repeats itself ... but wine helps."

[Jackie07]

M&M went to her annual MRI for her 20-year brain tumor(s) and then went home to take a nap - she's been taking more naps lately. She called the neurosurgeon's office to check the result two days later thinking "No news is good news." She was told to make an appointment with a radiation oncologist and saw the doctor within a couple of days. She's told Thursday that one of the tumors has the potential to block her CSF flow and will need radiosurgery to curb the growth. The hospital has a state-of-the-art Novalis Tx that will 'zap' the tumor in less than 30 minutes.

[TriciaK]

The best thing about chemo brain, Tricia says, is that you can read books over and over and you're always surprised at how they turn out. It saves a lot of money.

[TriciaK]

It was a dark and stormy night. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Besides, I have a very wet inside-out umbrella to prove it.

[fauxgypsy]

Tears fall, the sun shines. Night will come and day will follow, once again.

[fauxgypsy]

The woman looked slowly at the possibilities, should she go with the Baboon Butt red lipstick? Should she try the Wrinkles Be Gone cream?

[Colleens_Husband]

People called Leonard a monster. Sure he was large. And he was very hairy. The sharp teeth didn't help. Leonard also lived in a cave, and only came out at night to feast on the blood of new born babies, but he had feelings too and this really hurt. Who here is the real monster?