Never would have believed it

[Bill]

Years ago, when I was younger, me and a good friend of mine were sitting in a restaurant where they served only liquid meals, discussing his recent world travels. Johnny was well-known in our town for his stories and travels, although he could often only travel 8 feet in one direction and then have to turn around and then start over, if you know what I mean, but he was a good friend of mine and whenever he got "back to town", we'd get together and talk about the old days. "where you been, Johnny?" "Billy, this time I went up north like I always wanted to." I spit my dinner all over the table and nearly choked, "north?! you mean up that way?!", I said, waving my hand wildly towards a northern wall that some idiot had built on the southeast corner of the restaurant. "what the hell'd you go and do that for?" Johnny sipped at his dinner quietly, and then looked me straight in the eye, and said,"Bill I seen things up there". He seemed shook up. "what did you see, John?" "Promise you won't think I'm crazy?" I hesitated, because John was a good friend and a good shot, but he was known for "crazy talk". "Naw, man, 'course not. What's up that way?" Johnny took a sip of his dinner, looked around to make sure no one was listening, and looked me straight in the eye and said,"they got pet bears up there 'cross the border and the girls all train 'em to go out with 'em to bars so that real men like me don't get no ideas, know what I mean?" I gazed nervously into my dinner for a second or two, and said,"you know, Johnny, I totally believe you, because for years now, whenever I see a picture of them damn Bigfoot rascals running through the woods, to me, they just look like tall, skinny bears that maybe got loose from somebody, what do you think?" Johnny grinned, validated, and we clanked our dinner plates together and called it a night. I always thought Johnny was crazy until last week when I saw Pinkgirl's new avatar.