A day for love and chocolates with a little champagne thrown in for good measure - now that's a good day!
It was three years ago today that I had my first chemo. I was absolutely terrified, terrified! I was with my Dad when he went through brutal chemo in the hopes he might get a little extra time since he had lung cancer which had spread so quickly it had literally eaten away three of his ribs and had manifested itself in a growth on his brain that was bulging out from his head. He didn't make it.
My sister/rock was with me for all my chemo treatments; the first one I hid my fear by using my IV pole to practise pole dancing moves which had us all howling with laughter. I went from that, to shaking and crying before the remaining three treatments. Besides suffering badly from nausea and vomiting, I was just so bummed out that I now had to spend my days like this. I got so sick of the time and effort of constantly seeing doctors, disgusted at what my life had become.
I'm now 39 months NED and consider myself to be the luckiest girl in the world. I lost everything to cancer except my beloved children, family and friends, which at the end of the day really is all that matters, but financially I was ruined, left with NOTHING, just about homeless (I'm a single mom). But at least I have my health and can rebuild, and will get my life back although it is taking some time. Every day is still a struggle but in a different way. When I start to feel sorry for myself, I remember back to one day when I was sick as a dog from chemo, trying to wipe the counters in my kitchen. I'm sure many of you can relate to this when I say, I didn't have the strength in my hands to squeeze the water out of the dishcloth. Now when I'm in my kitchen cleaning endlessly and thinking how I'm sick of it, I remember back to when I COULDN'T squeeze the water out of that dishcloth, and I am so very grateful that I'm well and I find joy anew in cleaning my kitchen!
Hope you don't mind my sharing this with you - Valentine's Day has a different meaning for me now, but here's the thing, I'm here, I feel great, and I'm eating quality chocolate and drinking cheap champagne! Here's a toast to each and every one of all you incredible women (and men) who are the reason so many of us have found help, comfort and the strength to go on.
Love to all,
Jade
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Dx Nov.04 - Stage 1, Grade 3, widespread high grade DCIS, Paget's disease of nipple, 8mm tumor invasive DC (ductal carcinoma), ER/PR-, HER2+++
Nov.04 - left mast., clear margins, 6 of 6 nodes clear
Feb.05 - began EC chemo, 4 rounds (every 3 weeks)
Aug.05 - began Herceptin every 3 weeks for 1 year
Aug.06 - ended treatment
NED
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Years NED
Hybrid Mode
