NEDenise Downer Alert!

[NEDenise]

Ann - I feel your pain (from the fall at least). Feeling older than my years sucks! Dirty house sucks too... but I'm learning to live with it.

Doc called yesterday... among other things I'm sure...
I have a UTI that wasn't showing overt symptoms because of all the steroids.
Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but I actually think my blechy-ometer score might be a tiny bit lower after only one hefty dose of Cipro.

God! Wouldn't it be AWESOME if all this latest crap were related to something as easy to fix as an infection!?
I still have to have all the nasty tests to rule out other, more terrifying possibilities...
but... a little hope to hang my hat on is a beautiful thing.

You know me... hate going to that "dark place"... worrying about my beautiful boys facing young adulthood without the unconditional love of Mom. Nothing can replace that, and I'm just not willing to let that go!! They may look like men at 14 and 16... but they're still my babies.

So... sick reality that we all embrace around here... I'm actually cheered up by a raging infection... I don't even care if it's spread to my blood! Still waaaay better than the alternatives on the short list and the scary mention of WBR again.

The weaning is on hold though. Fall risk is too great (trust me... it's like watching a baby learn to walk... people want to stand behind me to catch me!) So I'm back to 8mg/day with some talk of even bumping that higher next week if need be. Whatever! Again, with the waaaaay better than the other terrifying alternatives thing!

So friends... thanks for checking in and for all the encouragement.
I hope all of this isn't TMI...
but...
I guess no one has to read if they don't want to...
and maybe all this shared info will help someone else down the line... at least I hope so.

Love to all! Hugs to those who need them most!
And prayers... lots of prayers!
Denise

[dawny]

NEDenise, YAY infection, woohoo. Let's cheer for an infection lol. I really hope that's all it is, and you start to feel like yourself again. I don't like to hear the fear in your words, fingers crossed for you Denny.
Dawn xxxx

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Yes, double yay for the uti. Let's blame it all on that. Until proven otherwise -- which won't happen. Sorry you have to go through all those tests. Just to prove you're okay.

I have been there. Feeling sick all the time. Weak. Frail. I saw myself as a fragile person. I began to unconsciously treat myself as an invalid. Until I woke up and realized I had to stop that. Stop the visions of my babies (who were full grown, but still my babies) without me. I didn't want to miss a single holiday, birthday, whatever.

And that's when I started to learn, or re-learn, the power of our thoughts. Guided imagery is serious business. We don't want our worst nightmares to come true. We have to THINK FROM THE END, meaning when we are through the process and at our desired goal! We have to see ourselves not as weak, though we are not stupid, and know that the precarious steps we take say so much. We have to determine that we are not buying into the story that is presenting itself.

Realists don't succeed. Einstein reminded us that Imagination is greater than intelligence.

So imagine yourself well and healthy. This reminds your body to remember what it feels like to be well and healthy. Our reasonable brains can hardly recall how that feels, but our bodies definitely do. They can replicate the symptoms of being well and healthy!

We can't think, I am know I am going downhill, this is it, the end is near. That is wrong-thinking! Detrimental to our health.

When we're in the process of getting to our dream, we will have crappy days on top of lousier days, but -- we are making our way to our desired finish line!

Don't allow negative thoughts to rent space in your brain, please. For your own good. Cause what you think, will come to be. So use your power for your highest good.

Don't let your unwanted thoughts rule your life. Plant some seeds and watch them blossom in front of your eyes!

With love,

Andi