People say the DARNDEST things...

[RhondaH]

ALREADY my right side has been hurting (more twinges than anything) for 2 days (not 2+ weeks, so lets not panic yet) and I went to see our department assistant earlier and she says "you look so sad, your cancer isn't back is it?" talk about your stomach falling through the floor. "Not that I know of." "Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, I thought maybe it was and you were sad because you were trying to deal with it by yourself". I KNOW my face went blank on her, I excused myself and left. Some things are better left unsaid...I'm ALREADY in a slight "worry mode" and NOW you REALLY kicked that into high gear...is a "sad face" (I'm waiting for a job I want to be posted so I can apply and maybe THAT's why I'm sad) a sign of cancer? Also, any tips on foods that help the "liver" (now that I'm panicking)...there goes MY day.

Rhonda

[Margerie]

I'm sorry Rhonda- some people are stupid!! And like someone said, the more I get to know people, the more I like my dog. And by people, I don't mean anyone here!

Right side twinges- have a friend going thru the same thing. She was scanned up the wazoo and they found nothing. The current thinking is either gall bladder sludge (no stones) or healing from recon done in July.

It could be just gas or something! Hope it resolves soon.

[Believe51]

Maybe you are having a rather tough day but it is your day and you will have another one tomorrow and it shall be better. I was sad to hear this in your voice today My Angel Warrior, I wish I could hug you right now because I would stroke your head and not say a word. Sometimes words are not needed and surely the quiet would say a million words. It is so funny what comes out of people's mouths and back to the thread I started on 'Keeping Your Mind Off BC' titled "Daily Inspirational Quotes": "It is better to say nothing than to speak and rule out all doubt!!" (I do not remember author at this moment). With all you have on your mind follow my Mom's advice: "Do not let them rent space in your head" by 'LilAcorn=(Believe51's mom)

Love, Hugs and all without words>>Believe51

[PinkGirl]

Hi RhondaH

Sorry you are already having a bad day. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt - maybe her words just didn't come out right - I don't know - maybe your co-worker's having a bad day too.........

A close friend of mine once was wondering about what stage I am, only she said "are you terminal?" Yikes.......there went my day.

I'm not sure about good food for your liver. I am still trying to stop eating mounds of chocolate. I think LilyE mentioned a juice that's good for your liver on the "Food" thread.

I am waiting to have an MRI on my liver. I have a mysterious "blob" in my liver that has been ultra-sounded twice, CT scanned twice, and is now going to be MRI'd. I wish they would just biopsy it and put me out of my misery.
I have never had an MRI and I am very claustrophobic. I've been talking to AndiBB about drug combos to put me into deep sleepyland. My husband has already been instructed to be in the waiting room with a Caramilk bar for me.

Hope your day improves - put a smile on your face and ask yourself how you would feel if she HADN'T said what she said.

[madubois63]

Milk thistle is supposed to help cleanse the liver. I take it in capsule form twice a day. I do believe dandelion tea is also very good for the liver. If you eat fresh dandalion, it is very bitter (an aqcuired taste). My mom always boiled it, then put olive oil, lemon, garlic and salt on it. When I first got mets to the liver, she made me drink the juice from cooking it. Yuck!!!

[lilyecuadorian]

Dear Rhonda ...to the only people i should no forgive to said something wrong is from this side (because 'n some way we educate ourself eachother)but from people from work I have worst comment from a maintanence guy who tell the residents (don't talk to her because she is going to die anyways) and my resident told me well everybody is going to ...first time din't like it (that day I was felling positive also) so after that I was thinking that "ignorance" is a beast worst then almost everything ...I check even for people who have a relatives sick with this diseise and they dont know nothing ...no even what mean stage ? and is in general with diferent cultures ...so no to worried about the stupid coment that poor ignorang told you maybe it was a way how to be "nice"
anyways for liver I hear that tamarind juice (real fruit) is a good cleaning ..and papaya too ...(natural fruit) and I can said that is true because if you drink to concentrate you go to the restroom more soon for me is natural drinking 1- because I like and 2- because i know clean my liver so i dont use sugar only water ..you can find in asian store or mexican .ask for tamarind pulp with no spices

[Patrice]

Rhonda,

I, too, have found that people say the darndest things. We should compile them to publish a book about what NOT to say to someone diagnosed with cancer, of any kind.

In any event, I'm so sorry you have to go through such a day - it's so unnecessary. Please know that so many of us are here to love and support you - you deserve it - you've helped so many others.

As far as the liver is concerned, I went through a period after a car accident where pain medications were wreaking havoc with my liver numbers. I researched and immediately started taking 500 mg of curcunim daily and, within 2 days, helped. It helps to cleanse the liver among other things.

Hope this helps you. Am thinking of you.

Patrice

[Debra]

Yes Rhonda some people just don't think before they speak. I wish I had a dollar for everytime someone said "well at least it's breast cancer and not another type that is more serious". If I hear that one more time I know I will explode.
I am not a real sensitive person but having this bc as made me a little touchy with some things people say because I am trying so darn hard to be positive so my body thinks it is as well.
No doubt that gal realized how stupid that comment was and hopefully she learned from it.

Your cancer isn't back. It doesn't have the balls to come back as you have been taking good care of yourself--------not gonna happen.

[KellyA]

Hi Rhonda,

Me and you need to write a book, girl !! I was in Walmart on Sat. and saw a "friend" (if thats what you want to call her), and I should have known to run the other way- she's had "diarrhea of the mouth" before. She proceeded to tell me about her friend with BC and yes I got lured in fish, line and sinker- and then out of nowhere she says, "oh, but she died two weeks ago, and suffered horribly...it was just terrible..." Why the H___ do people say stupid S#@T like that!!! Does she not know who she's talking too!?!?!?!?!?!? Can you say CLUELESS?!?!?!?!? I was so upset, and even angry (I WAS having a good day...), that I swore that would be the last time that I sat there saying nothing and feeling helpless and hopeless when someone said something like that. They're already gossiping...I might as well be blunt and lay it on the line and really give them something to talk about. You know, maybe if people experienced one moment of horror, they would think next time before they speak. Period.

Can you tell I'm chemo PMSing?!?!?!?

Love, Kelly

[Mary Jo]

Hi Rhonda,

I'm sorry you didn't have a good day. I'm also sorry you are in "worry mode!" It's awful when that worry mode gets turned on. I can't take the worry away from you BUT I can offer my love and a hug across the miles.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Love you dear "sister"

Mary Jo

[BonnieR]

They do say the darndest things. At the height of my chemo induced anorexia and weight loss a friend said to me that she always thought that getting cancer would be a great way to lose weight! I offered to trade places with her.

[Jean]

Rhonda,
How mean.....and stupid your co worker sounds....ugh...
I think I will never stop being amazed at what some people say. If only, they could walk one day in our shoes.....they would then understand.

This is the very reason I did not tell anyone at work I was dx.
human nature being what it is...

Sorry that you had to be exposed to her...but we LOVE YOU!
Will keep you in my prayers.

Hugs,
Jean

[RhondaH]

one BIG hug to you all...I love ya...SWACK

Rhonda

PS, after she thought about it, she realized what she said was "stupid" and came over and apologized

[Mary Jo]

Wow...........after reading some of the thoughtless comments people made to some of you I give the award for THE MOST STUPID COMMENT to the person who said to BonnieR "I always thought getting cancer would be a good way to lose weight." Wow!!!!!! Wow!!!!!!! Wow!!!!!!! I'm thinking that this person just doesn't have a brain so we really can't blame her.

Mary Jo

[chrisy]

Oh Rhonda, you're so right, people just don't have a clue about how the dumb things they say can affect someone! I've had some real doozy's from people who in fact really are good friends, but just say something incredibly stupid (my favorite being "Oh, I've been trying to put myself in your shoes....I always wanted to die before my husband, too"). Although I cried over that, I had to put those dumb things in perspective - I disregard what they actually say and just remember they are saying it out of love (no matter how "unhelpful" it is!).

And don't worry, a sad face isn't a sign of cancer. Neither is right side pain necessarily a sign of liver mets by the way. It's probably nothing - a pulled muscle or something. Of course you know the drill - get it checked out if it persists but in the meantime TRY not to worry.

hang in there
Chris

[Ginagce]

stupid things people say...I could write a book!

No diet info for liver but I do know that there is a supplement that is great for liver....milk thistle.

Remember, a twinge is a twinge is a twinge!

Best Wishes
Ginagce

[Carol Carlson]

You are so right about people saying dumb things.

[Joanne S]

Hi Rhonda and KellyA, I guess there's a lot of people out there ....all kinds....and pain caused by inconsiderate or stupid or tacky people or physical pain is still pain.

click http://her2support.org/vbulletin/sho...41778#poststop

At those times, it is best to recite the serenity prayer over and over and over again:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Continued well wishes to both of you,
Joanne

Rhonda, She was a thorn in your already hurting side. May it help you to know we're right by your side...and that should make your side to feel better.

xxx hugs xxx,

[Barbara2]

Could the pain be from a muscle? Is it a deep pain or more shallow? When I have aches around the back and ribs I go to bed with a heating pad. In the winter I use it quite often...it's soothing, and sometimes helps with the aches.

Plus, there is some thought about heat possibly killing cancer...yes, I know, it's a different type of application than a heating pad...but what could it hurt? Hope you get to feelling better.

[KellyA]

Wow.. I was really having a bad day. Sorry everybody. Rhonda, I hope your feeling better.


Love, Kelly