Most Embarrassing Moments

[Bill]

I was 14 years old, and an active wrestler and roller-skater, and my cousins invited me to their roller-rink for an all-nite skate. (Sorry about all the hyphens, "A") That's where you lock a bunch of hormone-filled, nearly out of control teenagers in a roller rink from dusk to dawn and they skate around all night in a sleep-deprived frenzy while their parents get a night off. My cousins had explained to me the night before that the head floor guard, "Lori", was a "smokin' hot" 16 year old, drove herself to and from work, and the best part was, she didn't have a boyfriend. That meant anyone stood a chance! I showed up at the rink that night, with my cousins, decked out in my finest silk shirt and my puka-shell necklace, and put on my skates. I saw Lori rolling around the rink, blowing her whistle at kids acting up, then I jumped up and shot out into the rink. (Born without fear, many things are possbile) I flew around the rink, and I could tell she was impressed with my speed and the ease at which I achieved it. I knew she was a speedskating champion, and once or twice we locked eyes and smiled at each other. After a few hours, and the standard hokey-pokey dance was over, they brought out the limbo bar, and I did well, but then Lori joined in and shot under the bar in an inhuman twisting of limbs that to this day mystifies me. After she shot around the rink she called for a free skate, and I skated into the boy's restroom to check my "look", I threw some water on my face and dried off, then shot back onto the floor. After a half loop around the rink, I noticed Lori smiling at me and skating straight for me, and I got ready for the "hey, how you doin'?" moment, but she said,"it's girls skate, only, and you got about 5 feet of toilet paper trailing off your skates, you gotta get off the floor." I lowered my head and said OK and went to the snack bar and just ate hot dogs until dawn.