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10-08-2006, 08:55 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 285
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A day like no other. My Daddy is gone.
Friends,
Thank you all for your prayers a few days ago. Today, I need them again. My father lay down to take a nap and never woke up. He was 83, had moderate Alzheimers and diabetes, but was happy. He sat in his chair reading and listening to music all day. My mother, who has been in lots of pain from arthritis and unknown other causes did all the caretaking. I live just a few blocks a day. Fortunately, my brother and his partner were visiting from NYC. Last night we all had a great dinner at Chili's, they went home, we kissed each other goodnight.
This morning he awoke with a bad cough, unable to keep food down, and went in for a nap. When my mother went to his room to give him his p.m. pills, he was already gone. Mel was called, he rushed over to give CPR, everybody tried to find me, but I was shopping without my cell phone. Actually, I'm glad I couldn't be reached until I arrived back at their house. I was able to say goodbye, tell him I love him all before they came to take away his body.
I don't know what my mother will do now.
Dear God, please cover both parents with lots of love and light, and guide my 85 year old mother along her path.
Thanks for letting me share.
Love and light,
Lisa
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10-08-2006, 09:40 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Acworth, GA
Posts: 2,104
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Lisa,
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Please take comfort in the fact that your father went peacefully and did not suffer. Your mother will probably lean on you for strength since you live close by. You and your family will be in my prayers. God bless you.
__________________
Kate
Stage IIIC Diagnosed Oct 25, 2005 (age 58)
ER/PR-, HER2+++, grade 3, Ploidy/DNA index: Aneuploid/1.61, S-phase: 24.2%
Neoadjunct chemo: 4 A/C; 4 Taxatore
Bilateral mastectomy June 8, 2006
14 of 26 nodes positive
Herceptin June 22, 2006 - April 20, 2007
Radiation (X35) July 24-September 11, 2006
BRCA1/BRCA2 negative
Stage IV lung mets July 13, 2007 - TCH
Single brain met - August 6, 2007 -CyberKnife
Oct 2007 - clear brain MRI and lung mets shrinking.
March 2008 lung met progression, brain still clear - begin Tykerb/Xeloda/Ixempra
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10-08-2006, 10:17 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: .
Posts: 211
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Dear Lisa
I am sorry to hear your sad news. Am thinking of you.
love
lindaw
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10-09-2006, 01:06 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 290
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Dear Lisa,
I am so sorry to hear of your Father's passing. I know how much it must hurt, as I still grieve over my Dad, and he died in 1992. I suspect it might be even tougher for a woman to lose her Dad, as they have a very special relationship. My prayers are with you and your Mom as you endure yet another difficult journey.
Sincerely,
Tom
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10-09-2006, 03:09 AM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 1,516
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Lisa...
more prayers are on the way. Take care and God bless.
Rhonda
__________________
Rhonda
Dx 2/1/05, Stage 1, 0 nodes, Grade 3, ER/PR-, HER2+ (3.16 Fish)
2/7/05, Partial Mastectomy
5/18/05 Finished 6 rounds of dose dense TEC (Taxotere, Epirubicin and Cytoxan)
8/1/05 Finished 33 rads
8/18/05 Started Herceptin, every 3 weeks for a year (last one 8/10/06)
2/1/13...8 year Cancerversary and I am "perfect" (at least where cancer is concerned;)
" And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln
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10-09-2006, 04:36 AM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Morris, IL
Posts: 3,507
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Lisa
I am so sorry to hear about your Father. I think it is so hard to lose a parent, regardless of their age, we feel like they should be around to keep us safe forever. My prayers are with you and your Mom, that you will find strength to get through your sadness.
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
Hugs & Blessings
Sheila
Diagnosed at age 49.99999 2/21/2002 via Mammography (Calcifications)
Core Biopsy 2/22/02
L. Mastectomy 2/25/2002
Stage 1, 0.7cm IDC, Node Neg from 19 nodes Her2+++ ER PR Neg
6/2003 Reconstruction W/ Tissue Expander, Silicone Implant
9/2003 Stage IV with Mets to Supraclavicular nodes
9/2003 Began Herceptin every 3 weeks
3/2006 Xeloda 2500mg/Herceptin for recurrence to neck nodes
3/2007 Added back the Xeloda with Herceptin for continued mets to nodes
5/2007 Taken Off Xeloda, no longer working
6/14/07 Taxol/Herceptin/Avastin
3/26 - 5/28/08 Taxol Holiday Whopeeeeeeeee
5/29 2008 Back on Taxol w Herceptin q 2 weeks
4/2009 Progression on Taxol & Paralyzed L Vocal Cord from Nodes Pressing on Nerve
5/2009 Begin Rx with Navelbine/Herceptin
11/09 Progression on Navelbine
Fought for and started Tykerb/Herceptin...nodes are melting!!!!!
2/2010 Back to Avastin/Herceptin
5/2010 Switched to Metronomic Chemo with Herceptin...Cytoxan and Methotrexate
Pericardial Window Surgery to Drain Pericardial Effusion
7/2010 Back to walking a mile a day...YEAH!!!!
9/2010 Nodes are back with a vengence in neck
Qualified for TDM-1 EAP
10/6/10 Begin my miracle drug, TDM-1
Mixed response, shrinking internal nodes, progression skin mets after 3 treatments
12/6/10 Started Halaven (Eribulen) /Herceptin excellent results in 2 treatments
2/2011 I CELEBRATE my 9 YEAR MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7/5/11 begin Gemzar /Herceptin for node progression
2/8/2012 Gemzar stopped, Continue Herceptin
2/20/2012 Begin Tomo Radiation to Neck Nodes
2/21/2012 I CELEBRATE 10 YEARS
5/12/2012 BeganTaxotere/ Herceptin is my next miracle for new node progression
6/28/12 Stopped Taxotere due to pregression, Started Perjeta/Herceptin
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10-09-2006, 05:05 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Newton, MA
Posts: 951
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My sympathies go out to you and your family. It's difficult to lose a parent. My thoughts continue to be with you.
Barbara H.
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10-09-2006, 06:13 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 943
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Sad 4U and praying....
__________________
Robin
2002- dx her2 positive DCIS/bc TX Mast, herceptin chemo
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10-09-2006, 06:40 AM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 189
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Lisa,
I can tell by the way you spoke of him that your dad meant a lot to you. Cherish your memories. May the Lord surround you and your family with a strong sense of His presence and peace.
__________________
Cheryl
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10-09-2006, 06:51 AM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 823
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Lisa you and your family will be in prayers during this difficult tme on the loss of your Dad.
May God wrap his arms around and give you comfort.
__________________
Vicki
Texas
Biopsy Dx'd 3-23-05 Age 48
MRM 4-5-05 w/ 2 tumor's 5cm, and 6 cm (right side)
IDC (poorly differentiated infiltrating ductual carcinoma)
5+/16 nodes
Stage III A
Grade 3
ER/PR-, Her2/neu ++
Ki67 78%
Begin Chemo 5-2-05 4XAC Dose Dense , 4X Abraxane Dose Dense (ended August 05)
28 Rad's ended October 13 2005
Started Herceptin Weekly August 2005 for one year
Had a Simple mastectomy left side after Mamo showed incresed micro-calcifications. Jan. 17 2006.
Brain MRI Feb.2006--All Clear
August 28, 2006 Last Weekly Herceptin.
October 2006--Colonoscopy, 6 Polyp's removed--all B9
PET Scan July 2007
Abdominal MRI Oct. 2007---2 Right Kidney Cysts
Core Biopsy-- Lump on Scar Line 1-10-08---B9
Brain MRI 6-2008--All Clear
PET/CT Scan 6-2008
Sept. 8 2008, 4CM area removed from mastectomy scar line. Proved to be B9.
PET/CT Scan-- July 2009 --All clear
August 17,2009 ---Had Port Removed
6 Years NED -- April 5,2011
DX'd with Melanoma left arm 10-10-2011
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10-09-2006, 08:05 AM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,756
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Dear Lisa,
I'm so sorry. I know how you feel, having lost my mother earlier this year. Losing a parent is very hard, but I'm so glad you and your mother are close so you can lean on each other to get through this.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
<3 Lolly
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10-09-2006, 08:52 AM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Clutier, Iowa
Posts: 61
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Lisa, my deepest sympathy for you and your family. Prayers are on their way. Know that you have strong friends here that can help you through this.
Sue
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10-09-2006, 09:38 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Naples FL
Posts: 1,744
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I am so sorry...it sounds like your Dad had a very special time with his family before he took that nap...and pleasant dreams to carry him to the next place. You are so lucky to have a great relationship with your parents/family...mine died years ago and we were never very close...always sad for me! Peace to you and your loved ones!
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10-09-2006, 10:40 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 3,463
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Lisa I'm sorry you lost your Dad but how comforting for you to know how peacefully he passed on. My Dad died from cancer some years ago and it was'nt very pleasant.(Not that there's a good way) but I hope my Mum who is 80 will have the same peacefull passing when her time comes.(Or mine for that matter)
God bless you all.
Tricia
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10-09-2006, 10:47 AM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 3,207
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Lisa, you're right - it is a day like no other. I can still relive every moment of that day for me - and it was 21 years ago. It is never easy, but what a blessing you were all together enjoying each others company the evening before. Much love and prayers to you and your family.
chris
__________________
Chris in Scotts Valley
June 2002 extensive hi grade DCIS (pre-cancer-stage 0, clean sentinal node) Mastectomy/implant - no chemo, rads. "cured?"
9/2004 Diag: Stage IV extensive liver mets (!) ER/PR- Her2+++
10/04-3/05 Weekly Taxol/Carboplatin/Herceptin , complete response!
04/05 - 4/07 Herception every 3 wks, Continue NED
04/07 - recurrence to liver - 2 spots, starting tykerb/avastin trial
06/07 8/07 10/07 Scans show stable, continue on Tykerb/Avastin
01/08 Progression in liver
02/08 Begin (TDM1) trial
08/08 NED! It's Working! Continue on TDM1
02/09 Continue NED
02/10 Continue NED. 5/10 9/10 Scans NED 10/10 Scans NED
12/10 Scans not clear....4/11 Scans suggest progression 6/11 progression confirmed in liver
07/11 - 11/11 Herceptin/Xeloda -not working:(
12/11 Begin MM302 Phase I trial - bust:(
03/12 3rd times the charm? AKT trial
5/12 Scan shows reduction! 7/12 More reduction!!!!
8/12 Whoops...progression...trying for Perjeta/Herceptin (plus some more nasty chemo!)
9/12 Start Perjeta/Herceptin, chemo on hold due to infection/wound in leg, added on cycle 2 &3
11/12 Poops! progression in liver, Stop Perjeta/Taxo/Herc
11/12 Navelbine/Herce[ptin - try for a 3 cycles, no go.
2/13 Gemzar/Carbo/Herceptin - no go.
3/13 TACE procedure
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10-09-2006, 11:00 AM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 624
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Hi Lisa,
I am very sorry to hear that you lost your father. Your will continue to be in my prayers. I lost my father on August 6, 2006 to late stage Alzheimer's. It is a treacherous disease. Again, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Brighter days have got to be ahead for you.
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10-09-2006, 11:08 AM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northern Calif.
Posts: 981
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Hi Lisa,
I am sorry for the loss of your Dad. I am happy that you were with him the night before his passing and that he was happy. That is a blessing! You are a sweet daughter. I will say a prayer for you and your family.
Hugs and Prayers,
Lexi
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10-09-2006, 11:19 AM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Misty woods of WA State
Posts: 4,128
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Love & Light back to you
Dear Lisa -
Life is sweet and sour. All those prayers for you and your intuition was probably about YOUR DAD instead. Close enough, I would say. Your feelings of foreboding actually WERE spot on. Just the person was not clear.
Nothing to feel bad about - his symptoms do not seem bad enough to call a doc or take him to the hospital, better he was left at home.
Your mother will have to refocus her life and this is going to be difficult as she was so devoted to your Dad. Very good that she is close by. Will remember you both in my prayers.
__________________
"When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau
Live in the moment.
MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~
Found suspicious lump 9/2000
Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement
Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR -
Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds
36 rads - very little burning
3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum
Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED!
2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa
Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18
All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET
Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying
Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa
Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?)
2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava
2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec.
Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011
STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer
7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones
Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED
2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED.
Same news for 2016 and all of 2017.
Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.
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10-09-2006, 12:51 PM
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: northshore suburb of chicago
Posts: 1,093
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please accept my heartfelt sympathies, so very sorry for your loss. no matter what age a parent is, it is a terrible loss.
__________________
~Rina~
Dx:3/06 had a lumpectomy April 19, 2006
Her2+ er/pr- Stage I Grade 3 tumor size 1.4 cm, node negative
AC 4 dense doses
34 radiation treatments including booster doses
receiving herceptin every 3 weeks since late August 2006 for 12 months
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10-09-2006, 01:10 PM
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#20
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: FLORIDA
Posts: 148
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LISA, I'M SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. JUST REMEMBER YOUR FATHER WOULD WON'T YOU TO STAY STRONG & LIVE LIFE. I TAKE CARE OF MY FATHER WHO JUST TURNED 89. JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO THE DOCTOR WANTED TO PUT HIM IN THE HOSPITAL AND PUT A FEEDING TUBE IN HIM. I TOLD MY SISTER TO JUST BRING HIM HOME AND I WOULD TRY TO MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE. EVERYDAY I WAKE UP I THINK THIS MIGHT BE MY LAST DAY WITH HIM. I KNOW IT WILL BE HARD TO LOSE HIM BUT I KNOW ITS PART OF LIFE AND I WILL REMEMBER HIM AND HOW MUCH HE LOVED ME. I HOPE YOU CAN FIND COMFORT IN YOUR MEMORIES. I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN THRU A LOT, PLEASE TAKE CARE.
__________________
SHEILA (45)
09/2005--BREAST CANCER/8 POS NODES --A/C, MASTECTOMY,TAXOTERE, RADS, TAMOXIFEN,HERCEPTIN
02/2007--B/C METS TO OVARIES--HYSTERECTOMY, FASLODEX
12/2007--ENLARGING LYMPH NODES IN ABDOMEN--IXEMPRA, THEN TYKERB
08/2008--COLON TUMOR--A/C AGAIN,
12/2008--ABDOMEN TUMOR--AVASTIN/NAVELBINE FEMARA
05/2009--MET TO SPINE (L2) RADS
CURRENT TREATMENT
07/2009- START ZOMETA MONTHLY, XELODA & ABRAXANE......SURVIVING THE BEST I CAN
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