list discussions

[dlaxague]

Hmm, the original "be careful....." discussion is now "closed". Does that happen often?

I've been pondering what happened during this interesting discussion and I came here to say something not about the topic, but about the way of judging and reacting that happened when there was disagreement. So maybe it's just as well that I'm forced to start a new thread. There were lots of wonderful posts on this topic that helped me to clarify what I think and believe, and also helped me to understand other's way of thinking and feeling. I'm willing to put up with some anger and judgment in order to explore as we did here, but others are less tolerant of strife. It is perfectly possible for us to have a discussion and to disagree without getting personal or hostile. Can we try that?

I agree that there is a line somewhere, between honest and strong disagreement, and hostility and insults. The line’s a little wavy and indistinct though – not always perfectly clear. Because when we speak with emotion about our thoughts and beliefs, it can sound like we’re speaking strongly against someone who thinks differently. And we’re not always doing that.

My advice to those who were bothered by this thread is to try to be less reactive and less judgmental. Try to give posters the benefit of the doubt, when they react with emotion. And PLEASE, do reply to state what you believe to be true and why, but do not post simply to take sides (without having anything to say yourself), or to reprimand others for what they said. This jumping in to say “so-and-so hurt so-and-so and I’m so upset about it” reminds me of grade school. We’re beyond that, aren’t we?

You post what you think and feel and believe ABOUT THE TOPIC, not about the person. I’ll do the same. And we’ll have a lively and interesting discussion. We’ll all learn, and grow.
<O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p

Regards,<O:p</O:p
Debbie Laxague <O:p</O:p

[Leslie's sister]

Debbie:
I didn't want your post to go without a response. I wholeheartedly agree with your well reasoned post. Lively, reasoned discussion/debate can be very beneficial. However, I think Joe has handled the whole issue in his post. Since philosophies are such a sensitive subject to so many people, it is probably best to put it all behind us and get on with the business of lifting each other up and learning about this rotten disease. Thanks for a great, well thought out post.

[juanita]

Don't know what is going on but I can't believe that nayone would be offended by anything that anyone would post here. Y'all have been so supportive of me everytime I've had a problem whether it was breast cancer related or not. Can't we all just get along and play nicely?

[Bev]

Missed it too as well. I think in the past things were deleted when people got to the point of saying you're too dumb to understand. Having spirited discussions is good, we just can't escalate it to the point where you're name calling.

We need to remember our goal is first and foremost to educate and support folks in our situation.

99.0% of the time, 99% of us do just that. We'll be OK. BB