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Re: Pallative Care
Oh my goodness, I had no idea my post would cause such a stir! I am sorry for upsetting you all so much.
Just let me say to those of you who suggest that I am depressed and need professional help, that I am seeing a psychologist and I am on Lexapro. I really am not depressed ladies.
What I am, is determined to not be a burden to my family. I know how this ends, as do you, and I want to do it on my terms if possible.
I feel really good now, as I have not had anything for 2 weeks and I am starting feel like a human being again.
There are many reasons for my decision but like I said, I will not be a burden to my family.
I asked my onc about trials, don't qualify for TDM-1 because I have not had Tykerb and he does not think I can tolerate it, and he said Pertussamab (sp) is going back to trials and funding from the government is really tight, so he has no idea when it may be approved. He also said if I continued with chemos, statistically I would have about 12-14 mnths.
So, I am done with toxic chemos. No more.
I hope to live in realtive comfort and make each and every day with my family and friends count.
Our trip to Pais in mid-May is my biggest goal and I am also going to meet Michka for a cup of wonderful coffe and enjoy the view.
So, you see, I have plans and I am doing well.
If you think I am scared, well of course I am. Who is not afraid of the end to some extent? But I can honestly tell you I am at peace with my decision and my husband and I are moving forward.
Thank you all for your concern and your caring thoughts.
I will stay in touch and hopefully I can shed some much needed light on the pallative care process.
Best to all,
Emelie
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Nov. 2006-IDC with Her2 +++
A/C for 3 rounds
Dec. 2006- Herceptin and Taxotere
March 2007-MRM with 8 of 14 lymph node involvement
May 2007-36 Rads
Sept. 2007- Stopped Herceptin
Jan. 2010- CT scan shows enlarged lymph nodes in sternum and lung involvement
Feb. 2010-PET scan shows mets to liver, lung, lymph nodes and bone
Feb. 2010- Started Herceptin/Taxol and Zometa
April 2010-PET scan clear. Herceptin and Zometa
June 2010- Stopped Herceptin continue Zometa and still NED
August 2010-Back on Herceptin and Zometa every 3 weeks
August 13, 2010- Had another port placed
August 24, 2010- PET scan clear. Herceptin and Zometa every three weeks
Nov. 2010-PET scan clear
Feb. 2011-Brain MRI clear
March 2011- PET scan clear
May 2011- PET scan clear
Sept. 2011- PET, Mammo, Bone Scan all clear- Herceptin only
March 2012-Recurrence in lungs and tumor around pota hepatis artery. Added Navelbine to herceptin
April 2012- Entered palliative care
June 5, 2012-Entered hospice care
Planning my memorial
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