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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 206
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Panicking/Wimping out
Hi, I have been NED for three years and had forgotten to worry about cancer for a while. However, I have just cracked a rib/done muscular-skeletal damage while pruning (using my ribcage for leverage cutting through thick rose canes and something "gave.") Breathing hurts, and the pain makes my pulse into brief palpitations/panic. Nausea from codeine makes me panic too (trauma takes me straight back into discomforts of chemotherapy treatment period)
Question: could my ribs have cracked too easily because of bone mets?
My GP refused me a CA15-3, but offered a bone scan in a couple of weeks if I am still having pain/problems. At the time, I was in pain, feeling wretched and scared and not very assertive so meekly accepted her marker refusal. Decided a bone scan will help eradicate my worry if it shows anything of help, but I am now aware that any healing fracture will light up as well as any malignant spots.
She also said I should be dosing up with Panadeine Forte, ie Tylenol 2 because these fractures do hurt all the time. Codeine makes me nauseous and breathless so I am sticking to 4x2x500 tylenol/paracetamol. If I try to take less, I start panicking because of the pain. And I cannot do much physically because anything that uses my arm/arms or chest or back tends to hurt.
I know I have been very lucky having a couple of pretty good years post treatment, and that the tests may well show I am continuing to be lucky.
And I know I currently have nothing saying I am in the shit.
But right now I find myself panicked into eating because of the nausea from either pain or codeine, and panicked about the possibility of bone mets, and panicked at being able to do so little without pain.
I soo sooo soooo do not want to be back on the treatment treadmill with more cancer in my body. I know this is a place many of you have been many times.
Any suggestions?
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 1997-2004 many cysts, many MG & U/S: polycystic breasts.
Sept 2013 found lump,Cyst?? forgot lump.
Dec 2013 GP check, Referred for U/S, MG,FNA.
7 Jan 2014 Radiology: Radiologist turned screen away from me. When asked she said "Not a cyst, very suspicious.See your GP asa results avail."
Cancelled my psych clients for the week.
8 Jan 14 GP: 2.2cm IDC in 6cm DCIS field. FNA=malignant cells. Referred to Surgeon.
Cancelled my psych clients for the month.
13 Jan 14 Surgeon said L mastectomy not lumpectomy, offered neoadjunctive trial, agreed adjunctive chemo after surgery a good choice for me. Booked Body scan and bone scan for staging (both fine) Surgery for16 Jan,
16 Jan 14 Surgeon also agreed in preop meeting to also remove 6cm fatty cyst in job lot. Good job done.
19 Jan 14 discharged home with 1 drain.
22 Jan 14 drain partly pulled out overnight, serious seroma (600 ml reducing removed every 2 days for a month) Serious staph infection because nurse said wait 3 days for yr surgeon appointment.
26Jan 14 pathology: 2.2cm Grade 3(3,3,2)ER-, PgR-, HER2+2 so to be confirmed by Sish test. Node negative. No vascular or lymphatic involvement. No metastases in scans.
30 Jan 14 HER2+ high amplification, 13 gene copies per cell.
21st Feb 14 Began 3wkly TCH adjuvant treatment at The Mount Hospital Perth, with 3monthly MUGA heart tests +Oncologist or Surgeon full physical check-up.
Cancelled my psych clients for 6 months.
Feb 14 First MUGA test: 71%,
First C15.3 test: 20
7th March 14 began Neulasta self-applied injections 24hrs after each TCH treatment. Bonepain helped by spa, heatpacks and Claritin, reflux/indigestion helped by Somac.
July 14 completed docetaxol and carboplatin, ongoing herceptin to 12 months. Severe cognitive deficit/fatigue after 1pm daily.
Sept 14 Second MUGA test: 69%
Cancelled my psych clients for 2014
Dec 14 Third MUGA test: 70%
Second C15.3 test : 20
Cognitive fatigue delays return to work.
March 2015 Tachycardia pulse 168, night in hospital. Cardiologist says no heart disease, ALIVE ECG attachment for my mobile phone now regular monitoring.
July 2015 Worktrial, up to 8hrs per wk. Fatigue ongoing
Aug 2015 Heart good, no evidence of cancer, just Fatigue.
May 2019 Melanoma 1.5cm Stage 1 by right collarbone(was present as large freckle in 2014 and cut through by breast surgeon to remove fatty cyst at same time as mastectomy.) Melanoma removed leaving scar from shoulder to breastbone. In hospital twice for IV antibiotics. Told catagorically this could not be BC mets.
Dec 2019 Still NED, still fatigue in late afternoon, but have my brain back in the early mornings. So most days I watch the sunrise and hear the birds morning chorus in my bush backyard and am glad to be alive and to be me still.
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