Will it be this way all the time?

Hello Herceptin ladies: I need to be honest about how I am feeling physically. I don't feel all that great. I am so tired, all of the time. I don't know if it is just winter and the notion that it's a good time to hibernate and store up fat like a bear, or, if this is something more serious. I finished radiation right before Thanksgiving. I am back at work full time. I do herceptin every week. And, I am exhausted. My mugga was right on the edge at 51% pre-herceptin. I'll have my follow up mugga in about 8 weeks. I don't know what normal is anymore. Will it take years, months for me to renew my energy? I report my symptoms to the doc every time and I do get arenesp shots every other week. But, gee whiz.

I am depressed, too. I take meds for that, but find that the reality of this last year is just now coming into focus and I don't like it. I have lympedema, too, and I sure don't like that. I know, I should be so glad to be alive, and I am, believe me. But, how do I find a place where I begin regaining strength, inside and out? Sorry to whine.

Rose
I am also on Herceptin only I am on it every 3 weeks. I have noticed that I am more tired than usual...don't know if it is the medicine, stress from dealing with these new mets or just the winter blahs. I am not working right now until they are sure the Herceptin is working,,,you see I travel as a nurse for a large construction company...makes it a little difficult to get treatment when I dont know what state I'll be in or for how long. This is a scary time in our lives, full of stress and uncertaintly. Sometimes we need to push ourselves a little harder and pamper ourselves more often. Positive thinking can go a long way. I have dealt with cancer patients many times in my 32 years as a nurse, and positive thinking is important in healing and well being. I had a mastectomy but have never experienced lymphadema, although I do call that little extra roll around my waist I seem to be getting "my lymphadema." Take each day as it comes, some are good, and some arent, but with faith and positive thinking, you will get through each one. If I am having a bad day, I look forward to tomorrow....I want all the tomorrows I can grab! Through all of this that I had no control over and certainly didn't choose, I have become a better person. I DO take time to smell the roses along the way.
Prayers to you
Sheila

Don't apologize for whining. You have a right. I am surprised you are able to work. There is no way in the world I could go to work. Just trying to function at home is rough enough. I can't even do the housework anymore. This disease is not easy phycially or mentally. Some days I too am so depressed and am sure that is why I get so tired.

Rose -- I read your message & thought, it sounds like me! I'm struggling with this heavy load right now too. Emotionally I'm drained, I also take antidepressants. I guess they must help, but of course they can't change the situation which is what would really help! I have lymphedema too, I don't see it as a huge hassle, but just one more thing to have to deal with & a constand reminder with the sleeve & bandaging. Physically, I'm tired too, but have herceptin & chemo, so I blame more the chemo for my fatigue. I think Sheila's response has the right answers for both of us. Keeping up the positive outlook and gathering support around us will help. Take care. Pam

Thank you ladies for responding. You know, my mom used to say, when I would be whining about whatever, 'Rose, go on to bed and get a good nights' sleep' Boy, that used to make me mad. But, she's right. I slept well last night, the sun is shining today, and I'm a different person than the one that wrote that email just 24 hours earlier. I just appreciate you all validating that these feelings are appropriate and on the mark. Exercise, meditation, good food... that all helps, too. And, I need to cherish that. Thanks for this site and letting me say the things I can't say to others! Peace to all of you brave warriors!

Speaking of "brave warriors." That is the attitude I adopted when I had to fight this pernicious, sneaky disease again.
I am not really a practicing religious person like going to church a lot. But, I do believe in and thank God for every day (even if it was not a good day).
Another woman who fought stomach cancer (and recently lost) sent me something that has been on my mirror since the day i got it a couple of yours ago. I found great comfort in it when I was feeling down (finally don't feel that way much anymore!).

It is called "St. Patrick's Breastplate."

I gird myself today with the power of God:
God's strength to comfort me.
God's might to uphold me.
God's wisdom to guide me.
God's eye to look before me.
God's ear to hear me.
God's word to speak for me.
God's hand to lead me.
God's way to lie before me.
God's shield to protect me ...

Hi Rose,
I was glad to read your 2nd post and agree that so often a good night's sleep and experiencing a beautiful day can improve one's outlook! Just thought I'd add this in case it helps: my onc had to increase my aranesp from 200mg to 300mg (every other wk) to see any effect. You might ck on your current dosage level. Also, my lymphadema is aggravating to deal with, but has definitely improved over 6 mos...so I hope yours does too. Best wishes!