death

[sunny Lisa]

Hi, I saw your post and wanted to respond. I feel the need to reach out because I know how it feels to post and wait for responses in those times of great need. I know how it feels to have people offer to help (let me know if I can do anything) then just walk away...and if I said "well there IS something..." then they didn't just walk away they RAN! I have found that lack of support and lonliness is at times more devistating than the cancer. All we have is this very moment. The future does not exist for anyone. I try to live in the moment and it has helped. I am sending positive thoughts your way. I do not know you but we are connected. You are not alone. Big cyber hug. Lisa

[Barbara H.]

Hi Havah,
Three years ago in 04 this coming May I had a recurrance ( initial cancer in May 98, stage 2a or 3 b), one met to the brain (3cm prefrontal lobe) extensive liver, lung, skin, lymph involvement through out. After brain surgery, I was put on Herceptin which wiped everything out. Unfortunately, my tumor markers started to rise about a year ago and in March scans showed that I had three small bone mets. Navelbine helped but they have still not disappeared. My next step is to try hormones, because there is a possibility my cancer has gone from horomone neg. to pos. My bone mets are too small to biopsy so we will try the hormones, check tumor marker response and scan. At the moment I am off all chemo except for Herceptin and Zometa. My head is cancer free, but I am currrently recovering from my third surgery to remove radiation necorosis. In this regard, Steph N. and I have had some similar brain issues.

Through all of this I have continued to teach third grade and live my life. I just went back to school two weeks after surgery and my staff colleagues presented me a hand engraved sterling silver bacelet that says "Wonder Women." I do feel very supported at work.

I have read that about 1 to 4 per cent of stage 4 breast cancer patients have gone into permanent remission. Of course, I would like to become one of them, but I just take one day at a time.

Best wishes to you, and hopefully we will see new and better drugs in the future. Tykerb has helped some, but I don't think we will see the results from this drug that we have seen from Herceptin.
Again, good luck and thanks for starting this thread.
Barbara H.

[IRENE FROM TAMPA]

Havah

Just know that we are all here for you, as you can see from the responses you received.

No one can really answer your question about death, but just know that cancer does NOT have to be a death sentence. Just keep up your fight and your spirit and enjoy your life. Try not to let yourself get depressed (not good for your immune system and its very important to keep that strong.) I know that this is easier said then done as we all have our days when we are down

Just remember, when you are in need of spilling your feelings, come to us. We are all here to listen.

Take care

[TriciaK]

Dear Halvah, You have received some wonderful responses from some wonderful people, and I hope they have lifted your spirits. You are not alone! I am so glad you reached out and so glad for the responses you've received. I am an example of the fact that BC is not a death sentence. I am 77, and have been fighting BC for over 20 years, since 1985, when I had a bilateral mnastectomy. I've had two reoccurances: the first in 1990 to my spine, which became NED (No Evidence Of Disease) after about 5 years, and to my lungs in 2004. The last mets were her2, and estrogen and progesterin positive. I was on navelbine 6 months with herceptin and femara, then just femara after 9 more months. My last two PET/CT scans were NED, and I have another one due the end of this month which I expect to be NED, too. BC may eventually kill me, but after fighting it for all these years I am no longer afraid and I know I will be around as long as the Lord has use for me to be here. I have absolute faith that the next life is even better than this one, and I am looking forward to death as the next great adventure. Hang in there, dear girl! Stay positive---as I've said before, fear and faith cannot co-exist. One will cancel out the other, so the trick is to stay positive and do all you can to increase your faith. I hope you know now that this wonderful website is full of caring, loving, knowledgeable people. We have been through what you are going through. We understand your pain and fear. When we say they will pray for you, we really will. Let us know how things go. Hugs, TriciaK

[eric]

Havah,

There's no question that disease is scary, but hang on to 2 facts...

1: there's so many great new drugs and new discoveries that have dramatically accelerated what has too long been a slooow process. The fast track is here and breast cancer is leading the ways because of the power of so many vocal woman!!!

2: although I beg for a cure for my wife and all of the other wonderful people on this site and others fighting this disease, there's a second acceptable option that I believe is very close...that this will soon be a managed disease like diabetes. I find this helpful and I hope you do as well.

Eric

[Vanessa]

I am also sorry that you are feeling alone. I wanted to let you know that I am stage iv. I was diagnosed last June and by September, I was NED. I have been really afraid, also, but am trying to be hopeful. I have been encouraged by the stories of many of the brave ladies on this board who are stage iv and are doing well. I hope you can get some encouragement from us, also. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Hopeful]

Havah,

I don't know the answer to your question, but I can tell you I met a bc patient at my onc's who has been living with bone mets for 20 years. I also have a friend with liver mets (which have come and gone) for at least 12 years. So, there is hope for extended survival even with stage IV disease. I hope that you are feeling better soon. You will be in my thoughts.

Hopeful

[Ceesun]

Dear Havah, I want to echo all of the good words of wisdom-they truly are-on this website. Yesterday, I had a wonderful day with my new grandson, daughters, son in law and husband. Hold on to those types of moments-we can all find our joys in life, still, I am afraid too, but we all only have one life so let's do it the best we can. Love, Ceesun--Cathy Stage 4

[MGordon]

Havah -

I'm just curious - how much of a support system (outside of this website) to you have? Married? Does your Primary Care Giver need help/tips? Is there anything I can do for you beyond posting?

Love and Light
Mel

[SusanV]

Havah,


In this battle you are never alone. We can all share in your pain, fear and feelings of despair. Primarily because we are all going through similar feelings at one time or another. I just wanted to share with you a personal story regarding your question about death. My maternal grandmother had early on-set breast cancer in her thirties (like me) years later there was additional breast cancer in her other breast. She had both breast removed. Fast forward her life 50 + years. At 87 she passed away, just 2 months before my first child was born. I was able to go to the hospital after my dx (this August) and request copies of her pathology reports and medical records. (which were now on microfilm) She passed away in 1997. Yes, her disease had spread, and was the absolute cause of her death at 87. But my point is that she held this beast at bay for 50+ years. There is HOPE !!!! Find some and hang onto it at all costs. Some days that is all there is.

Thinking of you fondly,

[Jean]

Dear Havah,

I felt so sad to read your post - you are not alone. We all have our blue days
that is only normal. This is a difficult battle we have but we are also united
in information, support and encouragment. Never believe for a second that
you are alone....just reach out here and we will help you smile.

Keeping you in my prayers.
Jean

[Diane H]

Dear Havah, I want to add my hugs and hope to all the others. It is a hard road you are on and I wish you health. BIG hugs, Diane

[chrisy]

Dear Havah
I'm sorry you feel lonely. I think we all do from time to time, lonely and afraid and angry and sad. I don't know the answer to your question, I think (or maybe it's hope) the picture is changing. I do know that SOME people with metastatic disease do beat it. Why not us? Further, more people are living with it as a chronic illness for longer and longer. It is my hope that we can keep it at bay long enough to see a cure.

In the meantime, today we are alive! Although I certainly get down from time to time, I try not to focus on death. I'll feel pretty dumb if I live another 40 years but waste it!

I also agree with Sheila and Mel...the real answers are beyond medicine.

Please take care, you can tell from all the responses that you are not alone, you are held in loving thoughts by your friends and sisters here.

Chris