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04-29-2014, 07:38 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: South Florida
Posts: 97
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Do you ever just want to vent?
So, I know I should be thankful for many things ~ found BC early, chemo working, supportive hubby, feeling well for the most part (haven't missed a day of work), have lost 15 lbs, kids are great (their lives haven't changed a bit), etc....
I try my best not to complain about anything (don't want to worry kids) and no one wants to hear bitching anyways...but do you ever have "one of those days"? This last week I have gotten SO grumpy from not feeling 100% that a ton of little things are really getting to me - little things at work not functioning, damn rash on hand, fingernail hurts, eye twitching, nothing tastes right, kids can't decide on birthday party ideas, oranges going bad 2 days after buying...and i miss my hair 
Anyone else have some vents?
__________________
1/17/14 Day after 44th b-day, Got dx of 2 malignancies Rt breast; ER/PgR- HER2+
1/21/14 Biopsy of spot on left; normal
1/28/14 PET scan - CLEAR!
1/29/14 BRCA normal!
1/31/14 Sentinel node biopsy
2/5/14 Nodes are CLEAR! Stage I/IIa, N0, M0
2/13/14 Start Chemo, 6 rounds for 18 weeks prior to surgery
2/28/14 Port placed
3/6/14 Chemo Round 2
3/27/14 Chemo Round 3 (halfway done!)
4/11/14 u/s shows 2cm tumor about 2x5mm now!
4/17/14 Chemo Round 4
5/8/14 Chemo Round 5 and Daughter's Birthday :)
5/27/14 Last Chemo Party - Round 6
6/17 14 Herceptin only until next Feb.
6/20/14 BMX/Immediate reconstruction DONE
6/30/14 Path report back...NED!
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04-29-2014, 07:45 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,045
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Sure! I've gained 15 plus pounds, lymphedema sucks, my feet kill me when I walk, I just want to get this weight off, hot flashes from the Arimidex, my eyes are still streaming here and there, constant runny nose from the Herceptin, the lymph therapist told me I have to wear my sleeve "all the time" ...
I think we should be able to vent once in awhile and this is the perfect place. I know someome else was asking how we kept from crying. I'll admit it, I cry in the shower All The Time. It is a great stress reliever and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't do that!
Ca
__________________
July 24, 2013: "Infected" Right Nipple and benign cyst removed, pathology report revealed Paget's, DCIS, and ILC 1.25 cm, ER+/Pro+/HER2 equivocal, Grade 2 under benign cyst, previous diagnostic mammo/ultrasound said I was perfectly healthy in both breasts.
Aug 18, 2013: MRI report says Left breast is perfectly healthy "consistent with previous studies".
Sept 2013: I insist on a bilateral mastectomy anyway. Too nervewracking to let left breast remain with higher risk after 3 cancers in right, nipple in right is already gone anyhow.
Sept 18, 2013: Bilateral mastectomy, 11 right nodes removed, ALL negative BUT -- ER+/PRO+/HER2+ tumor, 1.0 cm, Grade 2 found in a piece of "grossly unremarkable" breast tissue from prophylactic mastectomy of left breast, no nodes removed.
Oct 25, 2013: 13 left side nodes removed, ALL negative, Stage 1 across the board, NO RADS needed, YAAAAY! Port also installed.
Nov 25, 2013 Begin 6 rounds TCH.
March 10, 2014 Just finished 6th and LAST Chemo today, YAAAAAY!
March 24, 2014 Echocardiogram to make sure I'm still good for Herceptin every 3 weeks.
March 31, 2014 Echo results NORMAL, first Herceptin all by itself. Now if only my eyes would stop streaming from the Taxotere ... :)
April 21, 2014 Started Arimidex and therapy for "mild" lymphedema in left hand and arm
May 2014 Therapy completed, I have sleeves and gloves for both arms, a Flexi touch lymph pump to hook up to for an hour every day, and I've become an arm bandaging expert. :)
June 2014 Begin Fosamax to prevent osteoporosis; bone scan revealed osteopenia
Nov 17, 2014 FINAL Herceptin!
Dec 4, 2014 My right thigh muscle has been extra achy for days ... I discover a blister rash cluster on the side of my right thigh while taking a shower. Port appointment cancelled until Dec 17, my doc is working me in tomorrow afternoon to see me and the rash. My muscle at least feels less achy.
Dec 5, 2014 Yep, I have shingles. Boo! I start acyclovir and also have a prescription for a painkiller just in case for over the weekend.
Dec 17, 2014 Port is OUT!
January 2016 Shingles again and this time it started where my left breast (where the hidden HER2+++ tumor was!) used to be. My onc nurse got me a same day appointment to see my doc when I called and told her I had a rash on the site. The antiviral meds are working once again, though, so that is good news. :)
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04-29-2014, 08:01 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: 'Burbs of Atlanta, GA
Posts: 172
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Crb,
It is going to be okay. This time last year, I was right in your same spot - felt terrible, couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and I missed my hair. The chemos, the doctor appts and all the other crap we go through as breast cancer patients will end sooner than you think, slowly but surely, you will get your life back. And your hair will grow back - also slowly but surely. I am sorry that life seems so overwhelming right now. My best advice - take each day one at a time. It will all get better. You have been at the bottom of the mountain. After going through cancer and chemo, there is nothing you will be afraid of in this life. It is a strange gift that cancer leaves behind - being fearless. Pam
__________________
[FONT=Tahoma] Dx 12/14/2012, IDC, 2cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 4/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+[SIZE=2][COLOR=Blue]
Surgery 12/28/2012 Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph Node Removal: Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Right)
Chemotherapy 02/06/2013
Herceptin, Carboplatin, Taxotere Started 6 rounds on 02/06/2013 Herceptin
Finished chemo - May 22, 2013
Radiation Therapy 06/12/2013 - 36X External
TM Marker - 13 October, 2013
TM Marker - 15 November, 2013
Annual Mammagram - 3D - Both Breast - CLEAR!!!
Colonscopy - 1st-Clear - November 18, 2013
CT Scan-Results-Clear - November 27, 2013
BC Diagnosis-1 Year - December 14, 2013
TM - holding steady at 15 - December 24, 2014
TM - 24.2 - January 12
Herceptin Treatment - Last One-February 4, 2014!!!
TM - 3.7 - February 4, 2014
MRI & CT - February 21, 2014 - All Clear
NED - and my doctor said - "well, it looks like you are NED - your MRI and CT are clear - Febuary 25, 2014
TM - 18.2 - February 21, 2014
Port Removed - Scheduled for Wed, March 19, 2014
Port Removed - Yeah!!! I feel lighter already!!!
TM - 15.3 - March 25, 2014
Diagnostic 3D Mammogram - Rt Breast - All Clear!!! - Tuesday, May 13, 2014
TM-15.5 - June 25, 2014
Diagnostic 3D Mammogram - Nov. 2014 All Clear!!!
Diagnostic 3D Mammogram-Rt Only-May,2015-All Clear!!!
Diagnostic 3D Mammo-Annual-Nov 2015-Right Clear!!! - Left Breast-found 5 mm CYST. Aspirated - all clear!!
TM - Nov 2015 - 18.2
NED-December, 2015 - 3 Years NED!!!
TM-Feb 2016 - 13.7
TM-June 2016 - 13.3
TM-Oct 2016-10.0
Annual 3D Mammo-Nov, 2016-All Clear!!!
Annual Mammogram - November 2017 - ALL CLEAR. i AM 5 (YES) YEARS OUT!!!
NED - 10 Years Out!! - December, 2022
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04-29-2014, 08:09 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,045
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Thanks Pam! 
CA
__________________
July 24, 2013: "Infected" Right Nipple and benign cyst removed, pathology report revealed Paget's, DCIS, and ILC 1.25 cm, ER+/Pro+/HER2 equivocal, Grade 2 under benign cyst, previous diagnostic mammo/ultrasound said I was perfectly healthy in both breasts.
Aug 18, 2013: MRI report says Left breast is perfectly healthy "consistent with previous studies".
Sept 2013: I insist on a bilateral mastectomy anyway. Too nervewracking to let left breast remain with higher risk after 3 cancers in right, nipple in right is already gone anyhow.
Sept 18, 2013: Bilateral mastectomy, 11 right nodes removed, ALL negative BUT -- ER+/PRO+/HER2+ tumor, 1.0 cm, Grade 2 found in a piece of "grossly unremarkable" breast tissue from prophylactic mastectomy of left breast, no nodes removed.
Oct 25, 2013: 13 left side nodes removed, ALL negative, Stage 1 across the board, NO RADS needed, YAAAAY! Port also installed.
Nov 25, 2013 Begin 6 rounds TCH.
March 10, 2014 Just finished 6th and LAST Chemo today, YAAAAAY!
March 24, 2014 Echocardiogram to make sure I'm still good for Herceptin every 3 weeks.
March 31, 2014 Echo results NORMAL, first Herceptin all by itself. Now if only my eyes would stop streaming from the Taxotere ... :)
April 21, 2014 Started Arimidex and therapy for "mild" lymphedema in left hand and arm
May 2014 Therapy completed, I have sleeves and gloves for both arms, a Flexi touch lymph pump to hook up to for an hour every day, and I've become an arm bandaging expert. :)
June 2014 Begin Fosamax to prevent osteoporosis; bone scan revealed osteopenia
Nov 17, 2014 FINAL Herceptin!
Dec 4, 2014 My right thigh muscle has been extra achy for days ... I discover a blister rash cluster on the side of my right thigh while taking a shower. Port appointment cancelled until Dec 17, my doc is working me in tomorrow afternoon to see me and the rash. My muscle at least feels less achy.
Dec 5, 2014 Yep, I have shingles. Boo! I start acyclovir and also have a prescription for a painkiller just in case for over the weekend.
Dec 17, 2014 Port is OUT!
January 2016 Shingles again and this time it started where my left breast (where the hidden HER2+++ tumor was!) used to be. My onc nurse got me a same day appointment to see my doc when I called and told her I had a rash on the site. The antiviral meds are working once again, though, so that is good news. :)
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04-29-2014, 08:28 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: South Florida
Posts: 97
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Thanks Pam! It does feel overwhelming...everything from the foggy brain, appts, feeling like crap, to my messy garage and closet! Sometimes when things are too much, it is just easier to do nothing (ie not clean my closet) and then everything piles up and gets more overwhelming....I was thinking of sticking around at home on Friday (my first day off w/nothing to do...omg!) and just throwing things out....but then again, I may leave it all and go get a massage 
__________________
1/17/14 Day after 44th b-day, Got dx of 2 malignancies Rt breast; ER/PgR- HER2+
1/21/14 Biopsy of spot on left; normal
1/28/14 PET scan - CLEAR!
1/29/14 BRCA normal!
1/31/14 Sentinel node biopsy
2/5/14 Nodes are CLEAR! Stage I/IIa, N0, M0
2/13/14 Start Chemo, 6 rounds for 18 weeks prior to surgery
2/28/14 Port placed
3/6/14 Chemo Round 2
3/27/14 Chemo Round 3 (halfway done!)
4/11/14 u/s shows 2cm tumor about 2x5mm now!
4/17/14 Chemo Round 4
5/8/14 Chemo Round 5 and Daughter's Birthday :)
5/27/14 Last Chemo Party - Round 6
6/17 14 Herceptin only until next Feb.
6/20/14 BMX/Immediate reconstruction DONE
6/30/14 Path report back...NED!
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04-29-2014, 08:59 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,210
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
The massage! Definitely the massage!
And Pam is right. When you're going through hell, keep going. Things get better
Keep the faith
__________________
Bonnie
Post menopause
May 2007 Core biopsy, Rt breast
ER+, Pr-, HER2 +++, Grade 3
Ki-67: 90%
"suspicious area" left breast
Bilateral mastectomy, (NED on left) May 2007
Sentinel Node Neg
Stage 1, DCIS with microinvasion, 3 mm, mostly removed during the biopsy....
Femara (discontinued 7/07) Resumed 10/07
OncoType score 36 (July 07)
Began THC 7/26/07 (d/c taxol and carboplatin 10/07)
Began Herceptin alone 10/07
Finished Herceptin July /08
D/C Femara 4/10 (joint pain/trigger thumb!)
5/10 mistakenly dx with lung cancer. Middle rt lobe removed!
Aromasin started 5/10
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04-30-2014, 06:21 AM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,045
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
I vote for the massage too.
Feeling much better this morning, off to my therapy appt. Thank heavens for this forum and all of you!
CA
__________________
July 24, 2013: "Infected" Right Nipple and benign cyst removed, pathology report revealed Paget's, DCIS, and ILC 1.25 cm, ER+/Pro+/HER2 equivocal, Grade 2 under benign cyst, previous diagnostic mammo/ultrasound said I was perfectly healthy in both breasts.
Aug 18, 2013: MRI report says Left breast is perfectly healthy "consistent with previous studies".
Sept 2013: I insist on a bilateral mastectomy anyway. Too nervewracking to let left breast remain with higher risk after 3 cancers in right, nipple in right is already gone anyhow.
Sept 18, 2013: Bilateral mastectomy, 11 right nodes removed, ALL negative BUT -- ER+/PRO+/HER2+ tumor, 1.0 cm, Grade 2 found in a piece of "grossly unremarkable" breast tissue from prophylactic mastectomy of left breast, no nodes removed.
Oct 25, 2013: 13 left side nodes removed, ALL negative, Stage 1 across the board, NO RADS needed, YAAAAY! Port also installed.
Nov 25, 2013 Begin 6 rounds TCH.
March 10, 2014 Just finished 6th and LAST Chemo today, YAAAAAY!
March 24, 2014 Echocardiogram to make sure I'm still good for Herceptin every 3 weeks.
March 31, 2014 Echo results NORMAL, first Herceptin all by itself. Now if only my eyes would stop streaming from the Taxotere ... :)
April 21, 2014 Started Arimidex and therapy for "mild" lymphedema in left hand and arm
May 2014 Therapy completed, I have sleeves and gloves for both arms, a Flexi touch lymph pump to hook up to for an hour every day, and I've become an arm bandaging expert. :)
June 2014 Begin Fosamax to prevent osteoporosis; bone scan revealed osteopenia
Nov 17, 2014 FINAL Herceptin!
Dec 4, 2014 My right thigh muscle has been extra achy for days ... I discover a blister rash cluster on the side of my right thigh while taking a shower. Port appointment cancelled until Dec 17, my doc is working me in tomorrow afternoon to see me and the rash. My muscle at least feels less achy.
Dec 5, 2014 Yep, I have shingles. Boo! I start acyclovir and also have a prescription for a painkiller just in case for over the weekend.
Dec 17, 2014 Port is OUT!
January 2016 Shingles again and this time it started where my left breast (where the hidden HER2+++ tumor was!) used to be. My onc nurse got me a same day appointment to see my doc when I called and told her I had a rash on the site. The antiviral meds are working once again, though, so that is good news. :)
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04-30-2014, 07:54 AM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: El Paso ,Tx
Posts: 436
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
People sometimes forget that we may look ok on the outside but inside we are struggeling, if we don't vent every now and then it can start to have negative effects on us. Vent away!
__________________
 dx: DCIS 6/8/10, HER 2+ 7/26/10; Stage I Age 41
Double mast w reconstruction
6 TCH w 1yr herceptin
Tamox.
25 radiation tx
Removal of expander on L due to infection. Tried to save it had 3 bouts of antibiotics and went to see plastic surgeon 2-3x wk to get drained. Saving it was my idea not his. But lost it anyway.
Reconstruction set for December 21st,2011
Finished chemo 12/2010
Finished Herceptin 8/26/11
Reconstruction 12/21/11
Expanders exchanged for silicon 3/19/12
Nipple reconstruction 5/18/12
Nipple tatooing- 7/9/12- All done yay!
11/22/12-Went back to get scar tissue stretched to even the outside of breast, didn't work due to it being radiated skin.
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04-30-2014, 08:14 AM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: ottawa canada
Posts: 367
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
vent away!!! it helps others here feeling the same feelings. you are not alone, sister.
__________________
fall 2008: mammo of rt breast worrisome so am asked to redo mammo and have ultrasound of rt breast.I delay it til january 2009 and the results are "no cancer in rt breast. phew."
found plum sized lump in right breast the day before my dad died: April 17th 2011. saw it in mirror, while i was wearing a top, examining my figure after losing 10 lbs on dr. bernstein diet.
diagnosed may 10 2011
mast/lymphectomy: june 7 2011, 5/20 cancerous nodes. stage 3a before radiation oncologist during our first mtg on july 15th says he found cancer on the lymph node of my breast bone. Now stage 3b.
her2+++, EN-, PN-. Rt brst tumors:3 at onset, 4.5 cm was the big one
chemos: 3fec's followed by 3 taxotere, total of 18 wks chemo. sept: halfway thru chemo the mastectomy scar decides to open and ooze pus. (not healed before chemo) eventually with canasten powder sent by friend in ny (illegal in canada) it heals.
radiations:although scheduled to begin 25 january 2012, I am so terrified by it (rads cause other cancers) I don't start til february, miss a bunch, reschedule them all and finally finish 35 rads mid april. reason for 7 extra atop the 28 scheduled is that when i first met my rads oncologist he said he saw a tumor on the lymph node of my breastbone. extra 7 are special kind of beam used for that lymphnode. rads onc tells me nobody ever took so long to do rads so he cannot speak for effectiveness. trials had been done only on consecutive days so......we'll see.....
10 mos of herceptin started 6 wks into chemo. canadian onc says 10 mos is just as effective as the full yr recommended by dr. slamon......so we'll see..completed july 2012.
Sept 18 2012: reconstruction and 3 drains. fails. i wear antibiotic pouch on my job for two months and have 60 consecutive days visiting a nursing centre where they apply burn victims' silver paper and clean the oozing infection daily. silicone leaks out daily. plastic surgeon in caribbean. emergency dept wont remove "his" work. He finally appears and orders me in into an emergency removal of implant. I make him promise no drains and I get my way. No infection as a result. Chest looks like a map of Brazil. Had a perfectly good left breast on Sept 17th but surgeon wanted to "save another woman an operation" ? so he had crashed two operations together on my left breast, foregoing the intermediary operation where you install an expander. the first surgeon a year earlier had flat out refused to waste five hours on his feet taking both boobs. flat out refusal. between the canadian health system saving money and both these asses, I got screwed. who knows when i can next get enough time off work (i work for myself and have no substitute when my husband is on contract) to get boobs again. arrrgh.
I have a blog where I document this trip and vent.
www.nora'scancerblog.blogspot.com . I stopped the blog before radiation. I think the steroids made me more angry and depressed and i just hated reading it anymore
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04-30-2014, 09:07 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 715
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Venting is healthy. I think I remember years ago, there was lots of venting go on on our site. The fact that you are working full time during treatment, running a household and recuperating in between chemo treaments.....gives your brain almost total overload. Take a break when you can. Vent when you can. Call in sick and sleep in????
You have every right to be frustrated with oranges and children that turn "rotten" after 2 days. This is my attempt at humor. How are your banannas holding up?
__________________
Catherine
Found my own lump in the shower
April 2006 at the age of 58
Stage IIB, ER- PR- HER2+++ multi focal tumors, largest 2.3cm
Chemo first: AC/Taxol over 16 weeks
Bilateral mastectomy Sep 06
33 rads after the surgery
1 year of Herceptin completed Dec 07
15 years and no recurrence as of April 2021
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04-30-2014, 09:41 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 439
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Snolan I was just telling my daughter those exact words today.
Carol Ann I to cry in the showers sometimes just to let it out
Crb venting is great. Because I swear to you reading all these post it's nice to know that I'm not crazy or weak for feeling all these things , that is is the norm for us cancer patients . Thanks for venting it helped me tremendously . I even had my daughter read it so she sees that I'm not crazy lol
__________________
]11/13 Dx IDC left breast
11/19/2013 Inflammatory Breast Cancer stage 3c grade 2 Er- Pr- her2+++
Node involvement suspected based on CT
12/13 port placed
12/13 neoadjuvant DD AC xs 4 rounds started
02/14 taxol/herceptin started every week xs 12 rounds
Herceptin for 1 year
Ki67=23%
BRCA1&2 negative
5/06/14 last round taxol/herceptin. Chemo done!!!
5/07/14 clear CT scan
6/11/14 Bilateral Mastectomy Done
6/15/14 8mm tumor post chemo. Removed by bmx
6/15/14 lymph nodes 0/9
6/15/14 officially Cancer Free
7/11/14 emergency surgery to left breast . Wound refused to heal and broke open. New TE placed
7/28/14 emergency medical procedure now to right breast( post op 6 weeks mastectomy ) wound opens.
8/25/14 - 10/07/14 Radiation
11/24/14 CT of Brain clear
01/23/15 One year Herceptin Complete
02/04/15 Diep done
5/01/15 1 year Ct scan- mass in thymus
6/23/15 repeat CT mass in thymus still present
6/30/15 biopsy thymus 7/03/15 mass Benign! Diagnoses Thymic hyperplasia rebound ( chemo at fault, no long term health effects)
7/08/15 phase 2 diep
11/23/15 phase 2b ( reconstructive surgery with lipo)
03/05/18 Vinnie Myer 3 D nipple tattoos complete.
11/19/2018 5 years since Dx of IBC stage 3c remain NED.
11/19/21- 8 years today I officially remain NED and in 12 days I will be having a lymphnode transfer to help decrease some mild lymphedema! Still working, living life and soon to see a day I thought never would happen and that’s becoming a grandparent June 22nd.
11/19/2023 - 10 years since diagnosis and I remain NED
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04-30-2014, 10:17 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: California
Posts: 668
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
crb,
Read your signature, I'd say at least three times, maybe more, - - you have a lot to be thankful for.
Venting is ok, but count your blessings each and every time you think there's something wrong going on with your life.
Some of us have it much, much harder than you, and there's no turning the clock back.
We just have to survive this disease day in and day out.
Take care,
Adriana
__________________
1994 - rt brst, .lump, underarm node dissection,chemo+rad 1.2 cms, Grade 3.
28 nodes neg
Er,Pr, Positive HER2 status unknown
2003- Recur to rt lung.July 16 ( B-Day!)
Her2+++ Er,Pr, Negative
2003 - Aug04--Navelbine + Herceptin
2004- 2007--NED - Herceptin, only
2007 Feb-April Xeloda added to hereceptin
2007-May Back on Navelbine+Herceptin
2008-Feb-Mar 15 Ses Rad to Rt. Lung
2008- Oc 17 Add Tykerb to Herceptin
2009- June-- Discont Tykerb
2009 July 7--Current Taxol + Herceptin
2009 Dec--Discontinued treatment due to progression. Looking into cyberknife.
2010-Aug Accepted to TDM1, no SE, except liver count went up.
2010-2011 September got kicked out of the trial, due to a small spot found on lung.
2011- 2012 September thru early 2013 on Herceptin
2013- March Bone density shows small spot on 5th rib.
2013 - April 4th appt with onc. will post after discussing course of treatment.
2013-March-April Cyber knife to brain and radiation to rib. Chest --base line before chemo-CT-Scan stable for lung issue. CA2729 Normal.
2013 April Herceptin- TDMI
2013 Sept Herceptin + Perjeta . CA2729 within normal range. Brain and Pet scans October 31st. will post results.
2013 October Brain MRI- mixed response. Will see Onc/rad on Halloween.
2013 October/November Brain-MRI nothing new. Repeat MRI next year in May.
2013 December Continue Herceptin and Perjeta. Stable at the moment.
2014 February Brain MRI -clear!
2014 January Added Taxotere to Perjeta+Herceptin.
2014 March Stopped chemo-chest ct-scan next.
2014- March Scans shows tumor's larger, CA2729 higher. Discontinue Herceptin.
2014 April Perjeta+ Halaven
2014 April CA2729 went down 60 points after one cycle. Cough does not want to go away.
2014 June Continue on Perjeta + Halaven-- no more cough. Stable
2014 June Back on Herceptin + abraxane
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05-01-2014, 03:57 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: South Florida
Posts: 97
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Oh, you women are the BEST! I feel so much better and now think that my venting is really about silly stuff, but at the time it can be overwhelming and seem really important.
I remember my friend (who went thru this 6 months ago) telling me that mentally the 4th was the hardest, thinking that she couldn't believe she had to go thru this 2 more times, but by the time the 5th was over, then it felt good to know there was only 1 more treatment. So I am coming out of my grumpy fog and feeling better.
Had oncologist appt today and he is happy with everything, but thinks I should cut back at work over the next month. Easier said than done...but I did schedule my massage for tomorrow
__________________
1/17/14 Day after 44th b-day, Got dx of 2 malignancies Rt breast; ER/PgR- HER2+
1/21/14 Biopsy of spot on left; normal
1/28/14 PET scan - CLEAR!
1/29/14 BRCA normal!
1/31/14 Sentinel node biopsy
2/5/14 Nodes are CLEAR! Stage I/IIa, N0, M0
2/13/14 Start Chemo, 6 rounds for 18 weeks prior to surgery
2/28/14 Port placed
3/6/14 Chemo Round 2
3/27/14 Chemo Round 3 (halfway done!)
4/11/14 u/s shows 2cm tumor about 2x5mm now!
4/17/14 Chemo Round 4
5/8/14 Chemo Round 5 and Daughter's Birthday :)
5/27/14 Last Chemo Party - Round 6
6/17 14 Herceptin only until next Feb.
6/20/14 BMX/Immediate reconstruction DONE
6/30/14 Path report back...NED!
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05-01-2014, 06:58 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot Springs, South Dakota
Posts: 158
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
I think its the silly stuff that gets ya! Seems like I can handle the big stuff but something small comes along and I fall apart. Maybe its the preverbal straw that broke the camels back who knows! I am reminded of a line from When A Man Loves A Woman - 'Nothing has to happen for me to have a bad day" But....vent when you need to, cry when you want, but don't stay there get back to the laughter and the gratitude as soon as you can and remember you are not alone
__________________
Paula T. (saygoon means dog, yes I am Native)
DX March 2012
Stage IV w/ 5 bone mets to spine 2 on ribs
Herceptin, Zometa, Taxotere and Anasterole and of course radiation
2/14/2014 2 mets on pelvic bone
Stop Anasterole continue on Herceptin and Zometa start radiation (again)
2/24/2014 start T-DM1 continue Herceptin and Zometa
4/28 more radiation that brings total to 5 (10 days ea) - I think I will soon glow in the dark....
6/01/2014 Great news! Rib mets gone, 4 of 5 spine mets showing new bone growth and pelvic mets shrinking.
8/28/2014 T11 on spine is being stubborn started Perjeta, Herceptin, Zometa and Taxol - goodbye hair!
9/04/2014 Tomo therapy - pain finally gone
1/3/2015 - starting New Year out as still stable. Feeling positive
2/23/2015 - problems with left leg, bone met flaring up - MORE radiation Whew!
2/24/2015 Stress fracture in right side of pelvic - (great just great) back to wheelchair then walker then.....
2/26/2015 Off Taxol!! Still on Perjeta, Herceptin and Hormone Blocker starting to feel a little more human.
4/10/2015 Cancer has spread to spinal fluid - not sure where I go from here
6/29/2015 Omaya Port placed,begin IT Herceptin on 7/7/2015
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05-01-2014, 07:24 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 129
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
I had a meltdown in the grocery store once and went through the 15 item line with 18 items because i couldnt find capers! I was going to punch the person who counted my items right in the throat too! Luckily no one questioned it and we all lived to tell the tale. Vent away- we've all been there!
__________________
Age 54, married farm wife/school nurse/mom of 5 adult children...March 2012- found 2.5cm hard, non-painful mass on bse. It was not there, and then it was. Yikes.
Biopsy- DCIS, IDC, er-/pr-/her2+++, grade3. 1 node suspicious on us. Biopsy +.
Plan was for Neoadjuvant TCH x6, Herceptin q3w x a year.
May1- first chemo.
May 5- I could no longer feel the mass. Really. Neither could my oncologist.
July 2- 4th TCH- Oncologist cancels last 2 tx due to "complete response"
August6- lumpectomy with axillary node dissection. No disease present in breast. 1 out of 14 nodes + (4mm)
MUGA #2- 72%
Finished 30 rads Oct '12. Mild lymphedema noticed when I had 2 rads left.
Continue Herceptin q3w until next May
April '13- first mammo since surgery- calcium deposits that are " not concerning." Well, they are concerning to ME! Turned loose from surgeon for 6 months! One more Vit H, will make plans then for port removal.
Oct '13- no change in calcium deposits. "See ya in 6 months!" Keeping port for now.
March '14- oncologist says return in 6 mo.
April '14- mammo unchanged. Surgeon will see me in 6 months but no mammo for a year unless something changes. Its getting easier, but oh, boydo i hate that scanxiety! Keeping port until 2 year anniversary of last Herceptin.
Sept'14- bloodwork good, return to onco in 8 months.
Oct'14- surgeon will see me in April '15. Moving on.
May '15- mammo unchanged, keeping same schedule. Tumor markers soon and if all is well port comes out.
July '15-tumor markers normal. See onco in a year. Appt. for port end of month. First grandchild born July 1st- for today, life is good.
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05-01-2014, 08:30 PM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 47
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
My signature tells my vent. My first TCH-P treatment was 4/17/14. At first it appeared no side effects then harsh reality began on Easter Sunday evening The dreaded "D". Later in the week even with neupogen support my immune system was completely wiped out and I had to be hospitalized. As tough as it has been I am more concerned about being able to complete all the treatments then I am about the side effects. I wasn't saying much but this thread gave me the opportunity to let it go. My Onologist says I am extremely sensitive to the drugs, The bright side is that on physical exam yesterday My Oncologist could no longer feel any breast mass and the previous 2 cm malignant node now manually palpated to be approximately .5 cm. I am praying all results allow me to continue treatment. Chemo kicked my butt and ground me in the dust but it appears the cancer took the worst "lickin". I remain hopeful.
__________________
HX: left breast IDC T1a node negative 1999. Lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, radiation therapy, 5 years of Tamoxifen, 1 year of Femara discontinued due to intolerance.
3/21/14 almost 15 years later abnormal mammogram 2 cm right breast mass deep in the breast by the chest wall, mammogram last year was normal. Ultra sound confirmed highly suspicious for malignancy.
3/26/14 needle biopsy proven IDC grade 3, ER+ PR+ Ki67 75%, Her 2 in process.
3/31/14 Consult with Breast Surgeon. Bilateral mastectomy discussed along with referral to plastic surgeon for planned surgery with reconstruction.
4/4/14 Her 2 +. My Oncologist explained that this is a new primary and unlike before in 1999 very aggressive. Surgery put on hold.
BRCA testing done. Results were negative for gene mutation.
4/7/14 PET CT for staging for possible neoadjuvant treatment. Results indicate 1.3 cm tumor and a positive lymph node.
4/9/14 lymph node biopsy. Pathology documented metastasis.
4/14/14 cardiac echo result Ejection Fraction 60%
4/16/14 Port placement
4/17/14 1st chemotherapy treatment
with Herceptin, Perjeta, taxotere and carboplatin.
4/18/14 1st treatment done yesterday with no events whatsoever!
4/23-4/25 Dreaded D hit really hard.
Daily visits to the Oncologists office for hydration and neupogen injections.
4/24/14 Started on Cipro for seriously low WBC count.
4/25/14 Results of blood count at MD office so low (ANC 0.08) I am hospitalized in isolation for neutropenic precautions. One treatment wiped out my immune system!
4/28/14 home recovering. 4/30/14 MD's new plan of treatment: reduced dose weekly taxotere, carboplatin, Herceptin with Perjeta every third week.
5/7/14 Cardiac echo > than 60% and the breast ultra sound showed 2 cm lymph node now only .5 cm. mass in breast is unable to be palpated!! treatment is a go.
5/9/14 Partial 2nd treatment, full dose Herceptin and Perjeta 1/3 dose taxotere and carboplatin.
5/13/14 lab check and fluid infusion.
5/14/14 Appointment with my Oncologist. The lab results are great and the dreaded "D" not as severe as 1st round. Then I mention that my left calf and foot are swollen and painful to the point of limping, could be the drugs but to be safe I had a venous doppler study. I have a clot in my left leg. It wasn't totally occluding the vessel and she really didn't want me in the hospital. Now I will be on Arixtra shots in my tummy till the chemo is complete sometime in August, 2014
5/16/14 continuation of 2nd treatment taxotere carboplatin only.
5/23/14 continuation of 2nd
treatment taxotere, carboplatin only
Amazingly no horrid "D" or nausea!!
5/28/14 visit with the oncologist, great news she can no longer feel a breast mass or the malignant lymph node Yippee!!
5/30/14 started 3rd chemotherapy cycle had full dose Heceptin, Perjeta ans 1/3 dose taxotere and carboplatin.
6/6/14 next dose of taxotere carboplatin for 3rd cycle
6/13/14 last dose taxotere carboplatin 3rd cycle
6/16/14 I am scheduled again for another breast ultrasound to see extent of response to chemotherapy. results will direct continued chemotherapy of directly to surgery!
6/20/14 tentative 4th chemotherapy cycle
"Zumokato Toku" is my Chemo Ninja Cancer Assassin name!
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05-02-2014, 12:06 PM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 1,580
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
I call cancer to the floor everyone once in a while, give it a piece of my mind (sorry, cant reprint here), go in the shower and cry, get out, put my makeup on and get out of the house.
Karen
__________________
World Trade Center Survivor (56th Floor/North Tower): 14 years and still just like yesterday.
Graves Disease, became Euthyroid via Radioactive Iodine, June 2001.
Thyroid Eye Disease. 2003. Decompression surgery in 2009; eyelid lowering surgery in 2010.
Diagnosed: June 2010, liver mets. ER-/PR+10%; HER2+++.
July 2010: Begin Taxol/Herceptin. Eliminate sugar from diet. No surgery or radiation.
January 2011: NED
April 2011: Progression in liver only. Other previous affected areas eradicated. Stop Taxol/Herceptin after 32 infusions.
May 2011: Brain MRI: clear.
May 2011: Begin Tykerb daily, Xeloda twice per day for one week on, one week off, and Herceptin.
November 2011: Progression in liver. All other tumors remain eradicated.
December 2011: BEGIN TRIAL #09-093 Taxol, MCC-DM1 (T-DM1), Perjeta.
Trial requires scans every six weeks, bloodwork and infusions weekly.
Brain MRI: clear.
January 2012: NED. Liver mets, good riddance!
March 2012: NED. Developed SMA (rare blood clot) in intestinal artery and loss of sight in right eye due to optical nerve neuropathy. Resolved when Taxol removed this month.
Continue Protocol of T-DM1 weekly and Perjeta every 3 weeks.
May 2012: NED.
June 2012: Brain MRI: clear.
June-December 2012: NED.
December 2012: TRIAL CONCLUDED; ENTER TRIAL EXTENSION #09-037. CT, Brain MRI, bone scan: clear. NED.
January-March 2013: NED.
June 2013: Brain MRI: clear. CEA upticking; CT shows new met on liver.
July 3, 2013: DISASTER STRIKES during liver ablation: sloppy surgeon cuts intercostal artery and I bleed out, lose 3.5 liters of blood, have major hemothorax, and collapsed lung requiring emergency resuscitative thoracotomy, lung surgery, rib rearrangement and cutting deep connective tissue, transfusion. Ablation incomplete. This life-saving procedure would end up causing me unforgiving pain with every movement I make, permanently, otherwise known as forever.
July 26, 2013: Try Navelbine/Herceptin. Body too weak after surgery and transfusion. Fever. CEA: Normal.
August 16, 2016: second dose Navelbine/Herceptin; CEA: Normal. Will skip doses. Watching and waiting.
September 2013: NED, Herceptin only. CEA: Normal. Started Arimidex.
October-November 2013: NED. Herceptin and Arimidex. CEA, CA125, 15-3: Normal.
December 2013: Something brewing. PET lights up on little spot on liver; CEA upward trend, just outside normal. PET and triphasic liver scan confirm Little Met. Restart Perjeta with Herceptin, stay on Arimidex. Genomic sequencing completed for future treatments, if necessary.
January 2014: Ablate Little Met on the 6th. Happy New Year.
March 2014: Brain MRI: clear. PET/CT reveal liver mets return; new lung mets. This is not funny.
March 2014: BEGIN TRIAL #10-005 A(11)-Temsirolimus plus Neratinib.
April 2014: Genomic testing indicated they could work, they did not. Very strange drug combo for me, felt weird.
April 2014: Started Navelbine and Herceptin. Needed something tried and true, but had significant progression.
June 2014: Doxil and Herceptin.
July 2014: Progression. Got nothing out of it. Brain: NED.
July 2014: Add integrative medical hematologist-oncologist to my team. Begin supplements. These are tumor-busting, immune system boosters. Add glutathione, lysine and taurine IV infusions every three weeks.
July 2014: Begin Gemzar, Herceptin & Perjeta. Happy.
August 2014: ECHO perfect.
January 2015: Begin weekly Vitamin D Analog infusions. 25 mcg. via port.
February 2015: CT: stable.
April 2015: Gem working, but not 100%. Looking into immunotherapy. Finally, treatments for the 21st century!
April 2015: Penn Medicine. Dendritic cell immunotherapy.
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05-02-2014, 11:53 PM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,210
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Love Carlatta's rebellious stand in the 15 item aisle! You go Girl! I can remember times when I would just be thinking "I dare you to cross me!" Cancer can bring out the feisty side. And we might vent on the nearest victim!
Keep the faith
__________________
Bonnie
Post menopause
May 2007 Core biopsy, Rt breast
ER+, Pr-, HER2 +++, Grade 3
Ki-67: 90%
"suspicious area" left breast
Bilateral mastectomy, (NED on left) May 2007
Sentinel Node Neg
Stage 1, DCIS with microinvasion, 3 mm, mostly removed during the biopsy....
Femara (discontinued 7/07) Resumed 10/07
OncoType score 36 (July 07)
Began THC 7/26/07 (d/c taxol and carboplatin 10/07)
Began Herceptin alone 10/07
Finished Herceptin July /08
D/C Femara 4/10 (joint pain/trigger thumb!)
5/10 mistakenly dx with lung cancer. Middle rt lobe removed!
Aromasin started 5/10
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05-03-2014, 07:07 AM
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 184
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
I hear you. I am tired of all of it! Starting 12 weeks of THP next week and mad that it wrecks my summer travel plans. Sometimes the words "you are so strong and positive" feel like a burden. I don't feel strong and I am not always positive. Sometimes I feel like the coping is struggling. I don't feel like I am putting on a false front for people but I am considering antidepressants to help me with the overwhelming feeling that I get sometimes. Overall I'm very grateful that I've been weathering my chemo with minimal side effects. I feel confident my decisions. I have a great support systems both at home and at work. But sometimes it just feels like a lot and it's helpful to have someone to vent to whether it's here on the website or close friend that doesn't take it out to the community and you can share with just him or her.
It does feel good to get it out. Take it one day at a time and one treatment time and sometimes we are on an emotional engine sometimes run an emotional high emotional low all the cycles of life seem to be amplifying during this phase and I think that's just part of it. Wish you all the best and thanks for providing a forum for the rest of us to vent
I'm also doing when I can to help I'm getting acupuncture. And I too am starting massage with Reiki once a week to help with the side effects and improve my outlook. Spring and summer should help also!
Lisa
__________________
[SIGPIC]Lisa
Routine mammogram 12/20/2013
Call back with repeat films on12/31/2013 Ultrasound with core needle biopsy same day
Dx 1/2/2014 IDC ER/PR+
1/10/14 HER2 +
2/14/14 BRCA results negative
2/17/2014 skin & nipple sparing BMX with reconstruction Tissue expanders placed
IDC Stage 2A left breast. 9mm tumor no other CA 1/4 nodes positive
ER + PR + Her2 +(by FISH)
Right breast no cancer, sclerosing adenosis
3/13/14 Round 1 AC minimal side effects
3/27/14 Round 2 AC
4/10/14 Round 3 a little more nausea
4/24/14 round 4 hurray! Done with phase 1!
5/8/14 THP ( taxol weekly x12, Herceptin & perjeta every 3 weeks x 4)
7/24/14 done with chemo
Continue of Herceptin every 3 wks x 1 yr
5/14 start Tamoxifen x 5 years
8/18/14 removal of TEs silicone implants placed
9/14/14 Cellulitis Right Breast, suspect infected implant. Managed with Oral antibiotics, avoided surgery to remove implant. Whew!
12/17/14 nip & tuck revision of Left breast
We gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face. The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, not in daring to come to grips with it. We must do that which we think we cannot do. -Eleanor Roosevelt
Last edited by Lisalou; 05-03-2014 at 07:10 AM..
Reason: Additional thoughts
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05-03-2014, 07:19 AM
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#20
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,045
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Re: Do you ever just want to vent?
Lisalou, I'm right there with you ... YES, I am grateful ... we are all grateful ... that isn't the point! This is tough, and being cheery all the time (or feeling like we HAVE to be cheery all the time) IS an extra burden at times.
"Breast cancer culture" can be hardest on the ones dealing with the disease itself at times, I think. Of course the people around us want us to be ok ... and when we vent, it is scary for them! That's why they need the reassurance from us ... our being upbeat reassures THEM.
And I get that, and I'm OK with that! I need to be upbeat for me, too, MOST of the time. But then there are those moments in the grocery store aisle!!
LOL!! And that's ok too!!
We are all doing the best we can. Period. And that's enough, or should be!
CRB, thanks again for starting this thread!
CA
__________________
July 24, 2013: "Infected" Right Nipple and benign cyst removed, pathology report revealed Paget's, DCIS, and ILC 1.25 cm, ER+/Pro+/HER2 equivocal, Grade 2 under benign cyst, previous diagnostic mammo/ultrasound said I was perfectly healthy in both breasts.
Aug 18, 2013: MRI report says Left breast is perfectly healthy "consistent with previous studies".
Sept 2013: I insist on a bilateral mastectomy anyway. Too nervewracking to let left breast remain with higher risk after 3 cancers in right, nipple in right is already gone anyhow.
Sept 18, 2013: Bilateral mastectomy, 11 right nodes removed, ALL negative BUT -- ER+/PRO+/HER2+ tumor, 1.0 cm, Grade 2 found in a piece of "grossly unremarkable" breast tissue from prophylactic mastectomy of left breast, no nodes removed.
Oct 25, 2013: 13 left side nodes removed, ALL negative, Stage 1 across the board, NO RADS needed, YAAAAY! Port also installed.
Nov 25, 2013 Begin 6 rounds TCH.
March 10, 2014 Just finished 6th and LAST Chemo today, YAAAAAY!
March 24, 2014 Echocardiogram to make sure I'm still good for Herceptin every 3 weeks.
March 31, 2014 Echo results NORMAL, first Herceptin all by itself. Now if only my eyes would stop streaming from the Taxotere ... :)
April 21, 2014 Started Arimidex and therapy for "mild" lymphedema in left hand and arm
May 2014 Therapy completed, I have sleeves and gloves for both arms, a Flexi touch lymph pump to hook up to for an hour every day, and I've become an arm bandaging expert. :)
June 2014 Begin Fosamax to prevent osteoporosis; bone scan revealed osteopenia
Nov 17, 2014 FINAL Herceptin!
Dec 4, 2014 My right thigh muscle has been extra achy for days ... I discover a blister rash cluster on the side of my right thigh while taking a shower. Port appointment cancelled until Dec 17, my doc is working me in tomorrow afternoon to see me and the rash. My muscle at least feels less achy.
Dec 5, 2014 Yep, I have shingles. Boo! I start acyclovir and also have a prescription for a painkiller just in case for over the weekend.
Dec 17, 2014 Port is OUT!
January 2016 Shingles again and this time it started where my left breast (where the hidden HER2+++ tumor was!) used to be. My onc nurse got me a same day appointment to see my doc when I called and told her I had a rash on the site. The antiviral meds are working once again, though, so that is good news. :)
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