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Old 08-24-2014, 06:18 AM   #1
Paula O
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"Just Breathe"

I read a post in a blog today and appreciate these thoughts for when the Her2 and other storms of life come like a flood:

http://www.maryannemorganblog.com/musings/just-breathe/

"There are some days when the warfare is so intense it’s all I can do to be still. The battle within rages and I just want to DO something about it all, but don’t know how or where to start. The arrows fly straight into me, hitting their mark without fail. Grief, sadness and fear grip me. I often cannot see my way out on these days, but I have learned a few things that help. I thought I would share them if you have days like this too.
Just breathe. We cannot live without breathing. This moment will pass and so will the next, until we can get to a moment that feels doable again. When I lost a child in 2006 I had panic attacks around the clock. Chris would often hold me, coaching me to breathe in and out slowly until they would pass. I will never forget that.
Be kind to yourself. I don’t know where we got the idea that being hard on ourselves is a noble thing. It is in fact the opposite. Take a walk. Watch a funny show. Read scripture out loud (the words of life). Call a friend who loves you. Eat chocolate if you need to.
Don’t make any big decisions. This is an important one for me. When my perspective is wonky I cannot make any important decisions. i.e. ”I am quitting my business” or ” I’m moving to California”. On these days I try to busy myself instead with feasible projects like ordering small spaces in my home or just doing laundry. Sometimes passing time and staying productive on a simple level is enough.
Pray. This one may seem like it should have been first, but I cannot always make it first on days like this. I just wanted to give you the same grace. Sometimes we have to level out a bit before we can pray like we want to. God is always present, full of love and compassion and ready to hear you. He loves you deeply and will give you what you need. Often we cannot feel his presence on the dark days. Call a friend who will help you if you need reminding that he is there. I needed this often during my grieving season. I had a friend who would just say over and over to me “God is with you”. I cannot express how much that meant to me.
Mercies will be new in the morning. So rest. I don’t know why these days come, but God will get you through."
Lamentations 3:22-23 ~”Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
http://www.maryannemorganblog.com/musings/just-breathe/
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Old 08-24-2014, 06:37 AM   #2
hestko76
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Location: Las Cruces, NM
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Re: "Just Breathe"

Where is the "Like" button?
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Helen
dx 10-31-11
Stage 1 Grade 3 (7mm tumor)
Lumpectomy 11-18-11
Er- Pr- Her2+++
0/5 nodes - no positive lymph nodes
Port installed 1-6-12
6 Rounds TCH
Rad. 33 tx
Last herceptin 12-10-12
Port removed 1-3-13
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Old 08-24-2014, 11:46 AM   #3
Carol Ann
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Re: "Just Breathe"

Ditto!

Carol Ann
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July 24, 2013: "Infected" Right Nipple and benign cyst removed, pathology report revealed Paget's, DCIS, and ILC 1.25 cm, ER+/Pro+/HER2 equivocal, Grade 2 under benign cyst, previous diagnostic mammo/ultrasound said I was perfectly healthy in both breasts.

Aug 18, 2013: MRI report says Left breast is perfectly healthy "consistent with previous studies".

Sept 2013: I insist on a bilateral mastectomy anyway. Too nervewracking to let left breast remain with higher risk after 3 cancers in right, nipple in right is already gone anyhow.

Sept 18, 2013: Bilateral mastectomy, 11 right nodes removed, ALL negative BUT -- ER+/PRO+/HER2+ tumor, 1.0 cm, Grade 2 found in a piece of "grossly unremarkable" breast tissue from prophylactic mastectomy of left breast, no nodes removed.

Oct 25, 2013: 13 left side nodes removed, ALL negative, Stage 1 across the board, NO RADS needed, YAAAAY! Port also installed.

Nov 25, 2013 Begin 6 rounds TCH.

March 10, 2014 Just finished 6th and LAST Chemo today, YAAAAAY!

March 24, 2014 Echocardiogram to make sure I'm still good for Herceptin every 3 weeks.

March 31, 2014 Echo results NORMAL, first Herceptin all by itself. Now if only my eyes would stop streaming from the Taxotere ... :)

April 21, 2014 Started Arimidex and therapy for "mild" lymphedema in left hand and arm

May 2014 Therapy completed, I have sleeves and gloves for both arms, a Flexi touch lymph pump to hook up to for an hour every day, and I've become an arm bandaging expert. :)

June 2014 Begin Fosamax to prevent osteoporosis; bone scan revealed osteopenia

Nov 17, 2014 FINAL Herceptin!

Dec 4, 2014 My right thigh muscle has been extra achy for days ... I discover a blister rash cluster on the side of my right thigh while taking a shower. Port appointment cancelled until Dec 17, my doc is working me in tomorrow afternoon to see me and the rash. My muscle at least feels less achy.

Dec 5, 2014 Yep, I have shingles. Boo! I start acyclovir and also have a prescription for a painkiller just in case for over the weekend.

Dec 17, 2014 Port is OUT!

January 2016 Shingles again and this time it started where my left breast (where the hidden HER2+++ tumor was!) used to be. My onc nurse got me a same day appointment to see my doc when I called and told her I had a rash on the site. The antiviral meds are working once again, though, so that is good news. :)
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Old 08-24-2014, 12:32 PM   #4
DizzyDo
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Location: Washington State
Posts: 49
Re: "Just Breathe"

Thanks, I needed to read that today!
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2009: dcis rt side, mastectomy, no chem or rads
2009: rt recon implant.
Jan 2014: stage 4. pain right side, found "too many to individually account for" liver mets. Found right axilla lymph nodes and nearby mass (source). Lung, lymph and bone mets. Brain clear by MRI. Er and pr neg, HER2 +++
Feb 2014: herceptin, perjeta, taxol
July 2014: no active disease, only bone scars and 1 liver scar! Tumor markers all normal again.
Dec 2014: seizure, 3 brain mets (15, 5 and 3 mm)
Feb 2015: Linac Stereotactic Radiation for brain mets
June 2015: no new brain mets, old ones greatly reduced in size. Bod still no active disease
October 2015: New brain Met, zapped by Stereotactic rads, watching another spot
Jan 2016: The other spot grew, zapped again. Still on herceptin and perjeta every 3 weeks
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Old 08-24-2014, 02:40 PM   #5
Nurse4u2day
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Re: "Just Breathe"

Paula that was so beautifully written! And I love how you put the praying at the end because as a believer myself when your in the dumps it's hard to get to the praying and truly believing .
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]11/13 Dx IDC left breast
11/19/2013 Inflammatory Breast Cancer stage 3c grade 2 Er- Pr- her2+++
Node involvement suspected based on CT
12/13 port placed
12/13 neoadjuvant DD AC xs 4 rounds started
02/14 taxol/herceptin started every week xs 12 rounds
Herceptin for 1 year
Ki67=23%
BRCA1&2 negative
5/06/14 last round taxol/herceptin. Chemo done!!!
5/07/14 clear CT scan
6/11/14 Bilateral Mastectomy Done
6/15/14 8mm tumor post chemo. Removed by bmx
6/15/14 lymph nodes 0/9
6/15/14 officially Cancer Free
7/11/14 emergency surgery to left breast . Wound refused to heal and broke open. New TE placed
7/28/14 emergency medical procedure now to right breast( post op 6 weeks mastectomy ) wound opens.
8/25/14 - 10/07/14 Radiation
11/24/14 CT of Brain clear
01/23/15 One year Herceptin Complete
02/04/15 Diep done
5/01/15 1 year Ct scan- mass in thymus
6/23/15 repeat CT mass in thymus still present
6/30/15 biopsy thymus 7/03/15 mass Benign! Diagnoses Thymic hyperplasia rebound ( chemo at fault, no long term health effects)
7/08/15 phase 2 diep
11/23/15 phase 2b ( reconstructive surgery with lipo)
03/05/18 Vinnie Myer 3 D nipple tattoos complete.
11/19/2018 5 years since Dx of IBC stage 3c remain NED.
11/19/21- 8 years today I officially remain NED and in 12 days I will be having a lymphnode transfer to help decrease some mild lymphedema! Still working, living life and soon to see a day I thought never would happen and that’s becoming a grandparent June 22nd.
11/19/2023 - 10 years since diagnosis and I remain NED
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Old 08-24-2014, 05:46 PM   #6
suzan w
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Re: "Just Breathe"

Thanks for this. Beautifully written.
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Suzan W.
age 54 at diagnosis
5/05 suspicious mammogram-left breast
5/05 biopsy-invasive lobular carcinoma with LCIS,8mm tumor,stage 1 grade 2, ER+ PR+ Her2+++
6/14/05 bilateral mastectomy, node neg. all scans neg.
Oncotype DX-high risk
8/05-10/05 4 rounds A/C
10/05 -10/06 1 yr. herceptin
arimidex-5 years
2/14/08 started daily self administered injections..FORTEO for severe osteoporosis
7/28/09 BRCA 1 negative BRCA2 POSITIVE
8/17/09 prophylactic salpingo-oophorectomy
10/15/10 last FORTEOinjection
RECLAST infusion(ostoeporosis)
6/14/10 5 year cancerversary!
8/2010-18%increase in bone density!
no further treatments
Oncologist says, "Go do the Happy Dance"
I say,"What a long strange trip its been"
'One day at a time'
6-14-2015. 10 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!
7-16 to 9-16. Extensive (and expensive) dental work done to save teeth. Damage from osteoporosis and chemo and long term bisphosphonate use
6-14-16. 11 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!!
7-20-16 Prolia injection for severe osteoporosis
2 days later, massive hive outbreak. This led to an eventual dx of Chronic Ideopathic Urticaria, an auto-immune disease from HELL.
6-14-17 12 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!!
still suffering from CIU. 4 hospitilizations in the past year

as of today, 10-31-17 in remission from CIU and still, CANCER FREE!!!
6-14-18 13 YEAR CANCERVERSARY!! NED!!
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Old 08-24-2014, 08:30 PM   #7
Mtngrl
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Posts: 1,427
Re: "Just Breathe"

Thank you, Paula. Beautiful and calming.
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Amy
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4/19/11 Diagnosed invasive ductal carcinoma in left breast; 2.3 cm tumor, 1 axillary lymph node, weakly ER+, HER2+++
4/29/11 CT scan shows suspicious lesions on liver and lungs
5/17/11 liver biopsy
5/24/11 liver met confirmed--Stage IV at diagnosis
5/27/11 Begin weekly Taxol & Herceptin for 3 months (standard of care at the time of my DX)
7/18/11 Switch to weekly Abraxane & Herceptin due to Taxol allergy
8/29/11 CT scan shows no new lesions & old lesions shrinking
9/27/11 Finish Abraxane. Start Herceptin every 3 weeks. Begin taking Arimidex
10/17/11--Brain MRI--No Brain mets
12/5/11 PET scan--Almost NED
5/15/12 PET scan shows progression-breast/chest/spine (one vertebra)
5/22/12 Stop taking Arimidex; stay on Herceptin
6/11/12 Started Tykerb and Herceptin on clinical trial (w/no chemo)
9/24/12 CT scan--No new mets. Everything stable.
3/11/13 CT Scan--two small new possible mets and odd looking area in left lung getting larger.
4/2/13--Biopsy of suspicious area in lower left lung. Mets to lung confirmed.
4/30/13 Begin Kadcyla/TDM-1
8/16/13 PET scan "mixed," with some areas of increased uptake, but also some definite improvement, so I'll stay on TDM-1/Kadcyla.
11/11/13 Finally get hormone receptor results from lung biopsy of 4/2/13. My cancer is no longer ER positive.
11/13/13 PET scan mixed results again. We're calling it "stable." Problems breathing on exertion.
2/18/14 PET scan shows a new lesion and newly active lymph node in chest, other progression. Bye bye TDM-1.
2/28/14 Begin Herceptin/Perjeta every 3 weeks.
6/8/14 PET "mixed," with no new lesions, and everything but lower lungs improving. My breathing is better.
8/18/14 PET "mixed" again. Upper lungs & one spine met stable, lower lungs less FDG avid, original tumor more avid, one lymph node in mediastinum more avid.
9/1/14 Begin taking Xeloda one week on, one week off. Will also stay on Herceptin and Perjeta every three weeks.
12/11/14 PET Scan--no new lesions, and everything looks better than it did.
3/20/15 PET Scan--no new lesions, but lower lung lesions larger and a bit more avid.
4/13/15 Increasing Xeloda dose to 10 days on, one week off.
7/1/15 Scan "mixed" again, but suggests continuing progression. Stop Xeloda. Substitute Abraxane every 3 weeks starting 7/13.
10/28/15 PET scan shows dramatic improvement everywhere. All lesions except lower lungs have resolved; lower lungs noticeably improved.
12/18/15 Last Abraxane. Continue on Herceptin and Perjeta alone beginning 1/8/16.
1/27/16 PET scan shows cancer is stable.
5/11/16 PET scan shows uptake in some areas that were resolved on the last two scans.
6/3/16 Begin Kadcyla and Tykerb combination
6/5 - 6/23 Horrible diarrhea from K&T together. Got pneumonia.
7/15/16 Begin Kadcyla only every 3 weeks.
9/6/16 Begin radiation therapy on right lung lesion that caused the pneumonia.
10/3/16 Last of 12 radiation treatments to right lung.
11/4/16 Huffing and puffing, low O2, high heart rate, on tiniest bit of exertion. Diagnosed as radiation pneumonitis. Treated with Prednisone.
11/11/16 PET scan shows significant improvement to radiated part of right lung BUT a bunch of new lung lesions, and the bone met is getting worse.
11/22/16 Begin Eribulin and Herceptin. H every 3 weeks. E two weeks on, one week off.
3/6/17 Scan shows progression in lungs. Bone met a little better.
3/23/17 Lung biopsy. Tumor sampled is ER-, PR+ (5%), HER2+++. Getting Herceptin and Perjeta as a maintenance treatment.
5/31/17 Port placement
6/1/17 Start Navelbine & Tykerb
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