4 years...shouldn't I be doing something?

dberg · 07-08-2008, 08:11 PM

OK, I'm at 4 years since dx. I'm doing fine, but every once in awhile I feel like I should be doing something, taking something, more involved in research. I don't hover nearly as much over ASCO, etc. Should I be? Am I getting complacent or just moving on?

I had really nasty proliferative markers, with a 5cm tumor, so I went through whole shebang, and then got herceptin a couple of months after the trial data was announced. Although I'm running, exercising, working, (but still drinking wine), I'm feeling like I should be doing SOMETHING. Is this normal?

When do I let go??

mts · 07-08-2008, 08:20 PM

Seems like you already did !
Thinking about it every now and then is perfectly normal. If you have time to devote to research, then go where youre willing to go.
DO you still have follow-up with your onc ?

Maria

Bill · 07-08-2008, 09:12 PM

Hi Dberg! It sounds like you are doing great! In my opinion, there is no "normal". We are all different, with unique life experiences. Our lives are "shaped/guided" by many different factors. You let go when you feel like it is right for "you" to let go. Allow influences to enter the sphere of your life, but dont let those influences control your life. Years ago, I was having trouble in my lifes path. I confided in a good friend, and he placed a hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and said,"who is running your life?", and then he walked away.

Becky · 07-09-2008, 03:29 AM

Dear dberg

You are just like me (I am almost at 4 yrs) - did Herceptin after the trial results etc. I am getting less "involved". I love to still read the research (being a biochemist). I work, run, do other exercises, garden AND drink wine.

You are surviving and starting to live without the day to day worry and putting it behind you.

Enjoy!

dhealey · 07-09-2008, 04:00 AM

Sounds to me like you are living you life! You have moved beyond cancer and that's a good thing. Enjoy your life and leave the past in the past.

Mary Jo · 07-09-2008, 05:06 AM

Hi dberg.............YOU GO GIRL! Sounds as if you've answered your own question

You are "letting go" and moving on. I guess if there was something we "should be doing" we'd all want to do it but in reality there isn't much we can do...........other than of course......taking good care of ourselves.....keeping up with our check ups.........etc. Moving on and living our life to the fullest is the one thing we ALL "should be doing."

Cheers (I'm a Miller girl myself

)

Mary Jo

Christine MH-UK · 07-09-2008, 06:07 AM

I know. I too feel like I should be doing more but life doesn't get any less busy just because you have had cancer. I have found some fast ways to give back. If you have your own computer and feel like doing something really easy and passive, the world community grid has a project, help defeat cancer, you can run as a screensaver in the background while you do other things. It helps if your computer would be on frequently anyway. If you can afford it, contributing to a cancer charity is also something fast that is doing something.

Mary Jo · 07-09-2008, 10:18 AM

Amen Christine.....There is no greater feeling than giving of ourselves. You receive SO much in return and it feels so good. It should be all about the recipient "getting" and "feeling so awesome" but it honestly comes right back to the giver .....it's defintely a well rounded blessing to everyone. Thanks for that great reminder Christine.

God Bless you....

Mary Jo

Patb · 07-09-2008, 04:30 PM

I feel the same way just two years out and on Arimidex.
I do lots of volunteering with Gildas club, take Qigong
classes, and am reading The Power of Now, and trying
to live in the now, no regrets and moving on.
patb

Alice · 07-09-2008, 10:35 PM

Hi there,
I'm not sure if you are asking whether you should do more for the community through charity or if there is anything more you should be doing for yourself to prevent recurrance?
It sounds to me as though you are doing all that is available at this time for prevention. It also sounds like you are moving on. This, as I see it, is the ultimate goal. If we do not move past our diagnosis and treatment, what was the purpose having the treatment in the first place? I do volunteer at a suport organization and I feel as though I am helping others. I don't think it is the ideal place for everyone to give back though. Some may be more comfortable giving donations and suplies. If you are the person giving in this way please do not discount your importance in the scheme of things. Without financial support and suportive products, many of the people I contact could not be helped. My message of help would be mute.
After my diagnosis of cancer my sister, who only lacks for time, asks her secret santa at christmas to donate to any charity of their choice. Being she does not have an abundance of time, this is the way she contributes.
Last year it was a charity for autism.
Alice