Herceptin/Radiation Today

[linn65]

For some reason I just can not help but be emotional today! I go in today and they will start my Herceptin and then I drag my pole with me and get the radiation done. But it is like I go in the Chemo room for the Herceptin, and I have PTSD. I do not like going in for the drug that is supposed to save my life and that doesn't even make sense I should be happy they have this miracle drug. I read the post's on here, and I know people have it way worse then me with treatments going on for years. All I can think is how in the heck do these women keep going and going! I do not know if the doctor would say you have liver mets and need surgery or chemo what I would do at this point (lay on the floor and cry like a 5 year old). For 8 months all my life seems to be are doctors appt's and treatments. And I have not even had reconstruction done yet and that is this summer!! Ugh, I had to complain, gripe, and I know people on here get it.

[snolan]

I felt the same way, very mad at the change it all had on my life. Then I got to the end of Herceptin and was scared to stop it. I am done with reconstruction and miss my PS, I feel scared not to have Dr. appt as I felt safe while I was going to see them. It is weird how thing shifted for me. I am know getting used to the same hum-drum life that seems so slow paced now.
Suzanne

[tricia keegan]

Hi Linn,

I know its a whirl of medical appts right now and you feel you'll never be done but each day gets you closer to the finish until you reach a day when you look back and wonder if it all really happened!!

Herceptin has very few side effects for most of us unlike chemo, and usually rads is a breeze too (at least it was for me) so plan a little treat for when you're finished as you sit there today and think of how proud you'll be of yourself when done!

[starwishn2]

Hi Linn~
I'm right there with you. I'm "just" on Herceptin now but it's still an IV, you still have to go to the "chemo room" and mine is still every 3 weeks. I had my first reconstructive surgery almost 4 weeks ago. I will have to have one more - probably not til August. (doc said we could wait then he could remove my port as well).

I've had the same thoughts as you. There are so many women on this site that have been doing this battle for such a long time and they are so positive. Thankfully, most days I'm feeling positive and can take it one day at time. It's great that this forum is here for those difficult days!

Best of luck! Hang in there!! We're all in this together~
Jeri

[linn65]

I made it through Herceptin Day...Now, just get through until Friday and can rest Friday night!!! It is really hard getting up because I am just so tired. After my Herceptin I can almost feel it go through my body real or imagined I do. My joints ache, and 5th week of radiation I am burnt and really do not want to even where a bra, get dressed and come to work.

I hope some day I am on the other side of this, and I can lend encouragement to others on here like I have been encouraged!!

In the last two weeks I have even let my dishes sit in the sink for the week.....It has come to this I now wash my dishes once a week! LOL...

When I get home I end up reading on my Ipad, and I think about what I should be doing, and I don't. I even tell myself if I would spend 30 minutes or an hour on this house it would help....However, like Scarlet from Gone with the Wind, I will think about that tomorrow.

The general population think you are doing just fine because I am dressed, makeup on, dress clothes on, I can laugh and be posititve. No one really knows or even gets what a person goes through with this and how could they I had no clue!!

This board helps me so much to just vent, ask questions when I don't feel like figuring it out, encourging, and in the trenches right with me. I am thankful for all of my HER2 people here!!!

Happy Valentine's to everyone!!! May we all get through another day with treatment or another day living NED.