CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC -- hear me out...

[MichelleH]

I am also a big believer that the mind is a powerful tool, we just have to know how to use it & put it to use. From everything you describe, sounds like you're a fan of "The Secret". I have read the book & recently rented the movie. There is a section on self healing. My husband & I have decided to purchase the movie so we have it at home & can watch it from time to time to keep our minds on track and keep the positive energy flowing.
Dodie Osteen (a minister's wife) wrote a book called "Healed of Cancer". She was DX in 1981 with cancer that had metastasized to her liver (Docs couldn't find origin). Docs said she had only weeks to live and said chemo would not prolong her life any and so they sent her home to die. Through strong belief of the power of the Lord and positive thinking, she is alive and cancer free today. Not bad for someone with only weeks to live eh?
Just thought I's let you know I think you right on base!
Lots of hugs,
Michelle

[fauxgypsy]

Vicki,
Thank you. I am so sorry you were alone when you found out. I understand the need to tell everyone that it will be all right. I still want to protect my family from the worst of it. I knew it was bad the day the young woman who did my ultrasound wished me luck while she was avoiding looking at me. I had a terrible sense of urgency but it seemed like no one else did. I wanted everything done right then. The surgeon didn't seem concerned at the time. If I had left it up to him it would have taken several more days to find out the results of the lumpectomy. I knew the head of the lab at the hospital where they were processing my tissue samples so I was able to get it expedited a little and I had them send the results to my GP who got back to me as soon as he heard. I knew before the surgeon did. When I saw him he was very negative. Terrible prognosis, on and on. When I went back to him to get my port he started again, asking me did I realize how bad this was, how terrible the side effects would be, etc. I finally pulled out the information on the chemo from the oncologist and laid it in front of him. The port he put in never quit hurting and when it quit working two months into this I refused to go back to him and had another surgeon replace it. It seemed as if he thought that I wasn't taking it seriously because I wasn't crying. I have cried very little. And I would not cry in front of him.
I have been on the verge of tears many times lately, which seems a little backwards since I had that wonderful PET scan that nobody expected last month. I was sitting on the deck yesterday holding a calico kitten and wondering if she would outlive me. Just a passing thought. I have realized that my life has irrevocably changed and I will never again be without this cancer. I will never again take so much for granted. I know that I will come to terms with it in time but right now I don't feel that I even have the words to explain what I have lost.
Several good things have come out of this, though. In 1999 I was taking a medication called Reglan and one of the side effects can be clinical suicidal depression. It took me months to get over this. My mother died two days after I got out of the hospital. I have always loved to write and during this time words literally failed me. For the first time in my life I could not write. It gave me no comfort. If I tried I could not focus. Poetry could not comfort me. Now I feel that I am able to write again. So maybe this time words will help me find a way through.

Leslie

[fauxgypsy]

One more site.

http://www.mindpowernews.com/PsychologyOfMiraculous.htm

Leslie

[Mary Anne in TX]

Hi Leslie!

And so wonderfully, your words allow so many more of us to, through your words, see our own thoughts, feelings, and experiences in writing. Thanks so much to all for your honest sharing - it keeps life rich, real, and doable! ma

[hutchibk]

I am so very intrigued by this thread. I love what Andi is trying to share. I am also astounded that anyone could infer from what she has written that the cancer patient can find blame in their life for getting cancer. That is so far removed from what she is trying to share...

My counselor and I have been talking about this for 3 years now. It has been a very educational journey. I have always presented outwardly what others have experienced to be a positive attitude. I have received many compliments during this journey from outsiders who find me inspiring. But I knew that something was missing, that portraying a positive attitude was the easy part and was only half of the equation, that living it on the inside, in my body and my mind was a more difficult part to accomplish. It has taken me a while to get there and I am not totally there yet. But I am working on it. I still go to the dark places. You have to. You have to bring them to the surface, experience them and acknowledge them in order to let them go. But it's the learning to cope with them, bringing them into the light and purging them that is the key. It's a discipline just like anything else in life. Changing thought patterns is hard work. It's challenging. It's more than just anti-depressants and weekly therapy. (both of which have been tremendously helpful to me). Thoughts and inner dialogue are as innate as putting one foot in front of the other. But over a lifetime, left truly unattended, the brain and the thoughts can take on a sludge, a "coating", an unintended and ill-trained way of operating. Much like a car engine that is never lubed or maintained and eventually needs an overhaul. It's human nature and it is not something to blame one's self for. The key is to recognize it and take steps to correct it - to do the "overhaul." It's hard to learn how to "expand the rubberband" on one's brain. Whether I had cancer or not, I would hope that I would have embarked on this journey anyway... of re-training my brain and inner dialogue. Of looking inward for the disconnect between mind and body. And finding ways to connect the two. The mind and body are a temple. I used to hear that and think it was hooey. Now I know differently.

My counselor has given me so many gifts, and one of them is the gift of relaxation and visualization. Another is the technique to change the inner dialogue. We have discussed that you can't truly find The Secret without regular wrestling with the negatives. You can't get to point B without doing the hard work of point A. Point A (the negatives) have to be acknowledged and brought into the light. And once you have done the work to lay the foundation, then you must set the goal and take massive action towards the goal. The Secret is more than just "positive thoughts" - it's a lot of challenging work. You can't skim over the fundamentals to the cream on top.

The less than positive thoughts and resentments in our lives, when allowed to go unchecked, are poison, toxic. I know that since I have truly embraced the harder work and gentle teachings from my counselor, my body has felt wildly better and healthier. My mind is sending it a more gentle and positive electricity instead of lightning bolts and surges of hidden negativity and resentment. I attribute my body's mostly easy tolerance of the many different treatments to the mind/body connection work that I have been doing (in earnest) over the last year.

The newest gift my counselor is giving me is the gift of meditation. Due to my work with her, I have found my personal access to what is know as "The Blue Pearl" and it is so beautiful. I know there is a deeper meaning to be found surrounding my Blue Pearl, but just to be able to see it so easily now is one of the most beautiful things in my life. I believe that accessing it and seeing it in my relaxation and meditation opens up blocked corridors to the essence of the crucial mind-body connection. Remember that word "connection" as you contemplate all of this. The mind and body are always connected, but you have to be sure that the electricity between the two is a positively charged connection and not negatively charged... "Putting Negative Electricity into a light bulb will darken a sunlit room."

As my nutritionist says: "There is more to winning the battle against cancer than simply relying on technology. When it comes to cancer survival, conventional medicine often ignores the body's own remarkable restorative powers. Doctors are unable to explain in scientific terms instances that can only be attributed to self-healing. The spiritual and emotional components of healing cannot be defined by statistics and cannot be measured by sophisticated instruments. No-one can guarantee you a miracle, but why not
try?"

I consider the work I am doing on mind-body connection to be simply another component in the natural and traditional healing/nutritional support changes I have chosen to pursue in combination with my conventional treatments...

[vickie h]

Leslie, Your post again grabbed and held my attention and my heart. You have been through so much . I want you to know that you have a lifelong (?) friend. And I too, held my cat and wondered that very same thing.

I have been wandering the beaches near here and have picked up sand dollars and star fish and shells, thinking about their existence and how they came to thier deaths and how they ended up in my hands, I have them in my home and everyday I look at them I realize how fleeting this moment on Earth is. I will walk through the next door into a whole new world someday. I cannot deny that nor would I want to. I just want to live with the blood coursing through my bones, alive and extremely grateful for every second I get to be here. I send you my love and healing energy today under the hot California sun. Much love, Vickie

[Heart Sutra]

Victor Frankl's "Man's Search For Meaning" referenced above contains one perfect line that stands out and has been demonstrated as true in both mine and Sue's experience. Nothing too philosophical here... (Doesn't really speak to this issue either )
The line is:
"He who has a WHY to live can bear any HOW."

This has little to do with positive thought, or mind body connections, sickness, health, or even happiness for that matter. Take from it as you wish, or not at all. There is truth there though.

Yes, going over one's past certainly can explain a lot about who you are today, and a calm mind is more likely healthier than a stressed one, and yes extreme stress can wear on the body as well as the mind, but it doesn't necessarily follow then that a positive mind can cure illness. This is flawed reasoning.

It is more likely that a positive attitude can't hurt, and nothing more or less.

We see the original post as sincerely written with good intentions. We don't need to agree with it to see that there wasn't any suggestion to stop treatments, or to abandon modern medicine for therapy sessions, or prayer sessions, or even the diet du jour for that matter... it seems to be an opinion expressed out of goodwill. There's our 2 cents.

All anyone has, cancer or not, is this moment. In this moment, We're glad you're all here mixing it up for a change.
And... big P.S. for those of you who focus on this sort of thing ( you know who you are ). Sue and I write together, She's made me edit out my diatribe, which I really enjoyed writing too -- Probably for the best.

Thank you for being here in this moment

[fauxgypsy]

I feel like I have been patted on the head. There is a whole field of scientific research into the interconnection between our mental and physical states. It is not about a belief system. Andi's initial post was thought provoking and I feel that it has lead to a great discussion. In my posts I am not talking about the "power of positive thinking." I am suggesting that learning new ways to respond to the stressors in one's life, as an example, might lead to a greater degree of healing. This is not to negate the use of allopathic medicine. Or to suggest that anyone should approach it as I did. I feel that the term complementary medicine says it precisely.
I am suggesting that there is another way to think about this. Women used to die in great numbers from childbirth fever. Doctors did not understand the importance of disinfecting their hands, So they thought nothing of going from a death bed to a women giving birth without washing their hands. By doing this they caused the deaths of many women. Up until it was finally proved that bacteria caused infection and thus illness, this did not change. Even then there were people who refused to believe that something that was invisible to the human eye could cause disease.
What if we are at the verge of another paradigm shift? What if we are looking at something that cannot be seen under the microscope but can only be measured by its effects? Immune system responses can be measured. Endocrine levels can be monitored. In the same way that astronomers can find a planet or star that they cannot see in a telescope, by its effects on the planets near it, scientists are trying to determine the effects of the emotions ( to simplify it) on the other systems of the body. Read the research with an open mind. It is very interesting even if you choose to dismiss it.
http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/immune/psychon.htm
http://www.nfnlp.com/psychoneuroimmu...n.htm#research
http://www.wellness.org.za/html/pni.html
http://www.bcaction.org/Pages/Search...etter014C.html
http://www.cousinspni.org/
http://www.aacn.org/pdfLibra.NSF/Fil...e/ci140105.pdf
http://www.appi.org/book.cfm?id=8171
I am going to bed. I feel sure that this discussion will continue. I have been taking part in a very important human ritual. At least to me. Harvest. I probably don't save a penny but it makes my heart feel good. We have been putting up pickles. Sweet pickles. 10 gallons of cucumbers . We are being industrious little ants. There is a poem by Millay, "Rosemary". the first lines are "For the sake of some things that now be no more,...I will plant bergamot at my kitchen door". Canning and pickling make me feel connected to life in a very good way. Wonder if it boosts my immune system?

Leslie

[vickie h]

Leslie, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Some things cannot be explained/examined/scientifically explained. Those things which we cannot measure, or see, or explain with logic surround us every day. There needn't be any research to just know (feel) that our thoughts and actions influence our immune systems. Science is not always to be trusted since they skew their results to match their hypothesis, invariably inducing an exchange of capitol....sometimes refered to the root of all evil.
I am glad you are canning, it is a wonderful and productive and fruitful act of creativity. I used to can tomatoes and jam and I remeber the sweet scent of warm berries, and herbs filling my kitchen as I lined up the colorful jars of sauces. I have never canned pickles but my mouth started watering when I read your post. I love pickles!
Love and peace, Vickie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

HELLO AGAIN! I did not disappear. Sorry. Been tending to my husband. His agonizing and extreme case of Shingles -- beginning May 29 -- spiraled into a long adventure of collapsing backward, momentarily losing consciousness, breaking his foot, going to the emergency room, having Brain CT and then Brain MRI, being kept overnight (taken off certain nerve pain that created dizziness, confusion, garbled speech). Dehydration also contributed to his staggering, knee-buckling state (couldn/t/wouldn't eat or drink due to intense pain and suffering). Then a urinary tract infection turned out to be urine retention and an enlarged prostate that created an urgent need to see a find a urologist and be catheterized. Put back on alpha blocker that he had taken for yrs without episode but had stopped for 3 days in accordance w/doc's recommendation. Dizziness, knee-buckling falling backward recurred. Eyes fluttering, confused, speech garbled again. I called 911 and asked for an ambulance. That was Monday night. He is fine now. We are again home from the hospital. Paul's been taken off the alpha blocker and put on new med to do its' job heart-wise and keep urine flowing as well. Seeing urologist this afternoon for follow up. Seeing orthopedist Monday for follow up. Seeing cardiologist in 2 wks for follow up. We are shaken but we are forging ahead with prayers and love. So I haven't caught up on my 141 emails and am slowly plodding on to pick up where I left off. Which was about a wk ago, I think. My head is awhirl.

Just read Leslie post and I am in love w/her. I am getting to replies to other posts and messages slowly but surely, w/determination. Want to meet Leslie and Vickie and have lunch. I adore you both. Couldn't agree w/you more. Will also begin my homework assignment and click on the links provided. They are soooo fascinating. Actually reading what my heart tells me is True, seeing the words of my thoughts in black and white, written my some one else is a mind-blowing experience!

Love to all my Soul Sisters, as always. OH, BTW -- midst all this I had a 7AM mammogram last wk and I am NORMAL. Scans on the 28th. No time for the usual jitters prescan, called INSCANITY by some one on this board, which I relate totally to. I'm busy focusing on my Paul and sending my prayers out into the Universe for him. So, if some one reads this and has a moment, send a prayer for the 28th to result in SAME DAY "STABLE" RESULTS (chest/abd/pelv). ANDI

[fauxgypsy]

Andi, I am so sorry for your husband. Years ago I had shingles, just a small breakout and for a day or so it was bad. I can't imagine a full scale breakout. Do they have him on any anti-virals? Mine cleared up really fast. Concrats on your results and my prayers are with you and your husband.

Leslie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Hi Leslie! Paul had pain from hip to testicle at first for a wk. We saw an orthopedist, did MRI, thinking referred pain. Then, went to internist. Still no rash for 1 wk. Once we saw this flaming red from navel down and around to spine and down, we called and got a FAMVIR script called in. A COMEDY OF ERRORS, which isn't funny when it's happening to you. Love the doc, hate his office. Can't get a response. Even if in dire pain and in critical condition!! Finally, after calling my dghtr, saying, I'm not thinking clearly, what can I do? She told me to "prompt" the "if you are a doctor or a hospital" button! BIG LESSON. But, I can't do that. I'm not a doctor or a hospital. Rule follower, me. You've called 5 times and no one has called you back, this is an emergency -- you can call. So I got "permission" and though generally so proactive hesitated until I got the message from Ali. I prompted the special # and got through to a person and begged.

The "funny" part is that when my husband wound up in the hosp the 1st time they were trying to give him that med 3X a day. He insisted he's only supposed to get it once a day, as the bottle at home said. Was it the doc who wrote it funny (looked clear to me when I checked at subsequent office visit)? Was it the Janice person who called it in wrong? Was it the pharmacy that insists that was what Janice said, 500 mg once a day -- 21 pills (as in for 3 wks). So, Paul should have been getting triple the dosage, which would have lessened the severity of the pain, which would have lessened the need for the nerve pain med that caused him to become dizzy, disoriented, etc and fall and break his foot!!!

I had Shingles w/2nd rd of chemo (Taxotere) about 5 wks in. Caught it instantly as a big bug bite on my belly. Felt sick, fluish, nauseous. light-headed and thought it was from the chemo. Went for visit (checking out possible stem cell transplant w/3 specialists) and asked WHAT'S THIS? Herpes Zostra. Went for chemo 3 days later, as the rash spread all around front and back ON ONE SIDE and onc said NO CHEMO. Not when you have Shingles. Can't get chemo. I knew I would die if I didn't get the chemo. So I made up my mind I would cure it fast. Was on Valtres ('98 drug of choice). Added supplements from my Prescription For Nutritional Healing bible, meditated, prayed, envisioned, sent healing messages to my body in no uncertain terms. 10 days later I returned to onc. How are you doing?, he asked. I'm cured, I said. He smiled, laughed a little, and said, Let me see. Walked all around me. Wow. You're right. Very nice. Good for you. You can have chemo! YEAH! I was taking pain killers ev 4 hrs. Thought I would die from the pain alone. Calamaine ev hr. But insisted to healing fast if I wanted to live, and I did, and do.

I recommended to Paul that he get rid of the Shingles in 10 days, like me. We know people who had it for 8 mnths, a yr. You don't want to follow in their footsteps. I put him on the supplements, which he took begrudgingly. Moaning and in pain. I said, If you want to help yourself, boost your immune system! I left the page of the book (above) open, highlighted in bright pink, with the bottles and permanent marker indicating X1 or X2 or empty stomach. He took "some".

A friend of ours, Michael, told me I should have put a note on top saying, DO NOT READ! We must keep laughing...

Sending much love. Still trying to catch up w/old mail. I have a lot to say to you Leslie. You've been in my thoughts. I adore your posts. Your quotes. So much to say. Patience, please. Almost time to go to followup visit w/urologist for Paul.

I decided, I swear, it's easier to be the patient than the caregiver. Paul is an excellent caregiver!! And a really lousy, cranky patient. Poor baby.

ANDI

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Hello all! I'm busy "catching up". People ask how are you doing? I want to answer honestly so I say GOOD, BUT LOW ON ENERGY... I want so much to respond GREAT! Check out the thread CHEMO BRAIN, please. There's some helpful info on this topic in there. My posts re SUPPLEMENTS -- PHYTO FORMULA and NADH have come to bless my life, pepping me (and boy did I need it lately).

I know, exhaustion can feel so defeating and depressing. I try to stay connected to my Spiritual core for strength and well-being, harmony and serenity.

Leslie -- you mention Wayne Dyer. I'm a total FAN! I've read the bks you mention above. I wanted to add to his credit some other bks I have read of his that were quite profound and altered my view of Self and Life. THE SACRED SELF, YOU'LL SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT, WISDOM OF THE AGES and MANIFEST YOUR DESTINY. All gems I highly recommend for those seeking to find joy and peace, self-love and Empowerment.

Your painting is a fabulous creative outlet for your emotions (much like writing). Why do you aspire to show at Oxford, may I ask? Just curious. As in the UK? I told you, I will carry the image of your Phoenix with me forever. Your talent, Leslie is quite beautiful, as if your radiant Spirit.

How was Chopra's Life After Death? Can you share your overall impressions? I have quoted Wayne so much my family groans when I start a sent with, Well, Wayne says... As you say, Leslie, he feeds my Soul, re-awakens and reinvigorates it . He reminds it of what it always knew but had forgotten!

Sending loving energy to all you wonderful Warrior Women... ANDI

[Joe]

test

Regards
Joe

[fauxgypsy]

Hi Andi,
I am tired too. I have had two Aranesp shots, four weeks ago and two weeks ago. I am going to check out the supplements you have mentioned. We have a busy day Monday. I have an appointment for a second opinion and my husband has to have a CT scan. He has been hurting lately and I was wondering if it was his gallbladder but instead they found a spot on his right kidney. Hopefully it is nothing, but we will see. He keeps saying that it is a pulled muscle. I hope so.
The second opinion is one I should have gotten before now. First it was in my liver and then it wasn't, no biopsy to prove it either way and no surgery or dose dense chemo because it had already spread but maybe it hadn't. After we started treatment the oncologist said that it might have been a fluke. I am very glad that nothing showed up in my second PET scan. But I still have my doubts about the course of treatment. I think the second opinion will give me peace of mind. I have met the new oncologist (he was my stepfather's when he had cancer) before and really felt that he was compassionate. He takes his time to talk with you and I am very uncomfortable with how rushed I feel with my current oncologist.
I am hoping that I will paint more now that I doing less faux finshes, etc. I live near Oxford, MS, where the University Of Mississippi (Ole Miss) is located. It gets a lot of alumni, of which I am one, and tourists because of this. Not Oxford, England although I would love to visit there.
Hope you and your husband feel better soon.

Leslie

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Vickie, I have been preoccupied w/my husband's medical misadventures, but from the moment I read your post about being given the grim news by 4 docs surrounding your hospital bed, alone but for your pneumonia -- I have been beside myself. What were they thinking? This was clearly not the time to approach the lone patient. The synchronicity of their being in the same place at the same time was not a strong enough case to hit you over the head, blindsiding you. Traumatic doesn't even begin to cover what you went throug. I am so sorry that happened in that most awful of ways.

A few times you mention you assured others YOU WOULD BE OKAY. That was your Spirit speaking! Do not dismiss it as placating, attempting to comfort others in your compassionate way. BELIEVE IT. Your trip to Mexico, taking long walks, swimming in the buoyant waters, wondering about all things was your Spirit trying to make you feel connected to Life. Eating the right things was your Soul seeking to nourish you as it craved your acknowledgement. Once we find our True Self, discover our Essence, at our core, we can more easily tap into Universal guidance and wisdom.

In MY PRAYER FOR SURVIVAL that I wrote in Dec '98, midst Taxotere and torment throughout my body, at the lowest point in my entire life, I began with the following words. I AM WOUNDED, BUT I WILL SURVIVE. I AM DEEP IN THE WOODS, BUT I AM NOT LOST. MY BODY ACHES WITH THE DEATH OF MY CANCER CELLS. BUT I AM STRONG, BRAVE AND DETERMINED. THIS STORM WILL NOT TOUCH MY CORE. I WILL NOT LET IT. MY ESSENCE IS CALM AND POISED. MY WILL IS GREAT AND SHALL TRIUMPH. I WILL BE STEADFAST. THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

Vickie, you are not broken. I understand that you may feel lost and cheated. But know that -- you are being led. The tangible evidence of your efforts lie before you. As you expect the best, so it will come. It is a Universal Law. Do not retreat. There is a malfunction afoot. You will not break. Your Spirit will not be broken. Diligently stand guard against toxic thoughts and images. Acknowledge them, experience them and then be done with them. You have much to be grateful for. ou are truly blessed. As you see the radiance of life, the darkness within dissolves.

You are in a process of spiritual unfolding. When all is calm, we stagnate. You are becoming more than you were, your life enriched immeasurably with fresh perspectives, the gift of feeling truly alive with each new day.

You write with such artistry, Vickie. YOU WILL BE OKAY, as your Spirit told you repeatedly. Stop resisting participating in this unwanted drama. It is your Life. Rejoice. You are on a gravel-packed road but with the power of your chosen thoughts and images, stubborn determination that will not flag and belief in your abilities to triumph you will be guided through this the mother of all storms.

With much loving energy being sent your way... ANDI

[Andrea Barnett Budin]

<TABLE class=tborder id=post126550 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR vAlign=top><TD class=alt1 id=td_post_126550 style="BORDER-RIGHT: #aa8799 1px solid">Thought you who were interested in the CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC of the mindbody connection (which turned out to be a whole lot more *controversial* than I'd guessed at first) -- would be interested in this post from OPRAH thread. Seems most of you have at the very least *suspected* the link and many are actually utilizing your innate healing powers to your advantage. In that spirit -- I copied the following posts to help feed your expanded consciousness. Sent with loving energy to all, as always!

Andi - I never answered you.... 'Om Namo Guru Dev Namo' means "I bow to the teacher within my soul, I bow to the friends that I've come to know." My counselor taught it to me, it is a Kundalini Mantra and it is used for healing balance of the chakras through the fingertips... the fingertips of each hand corresponds with the chakras as follows: thumb with 2nd chakra; index finger with 5th chakra; middle finger with 3rd chakra; ring finger with 6th chakra; and little finger with 4th chakra. I don't know much more than that, but I know I am experimenting with it as I learn more about meditation.
<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->__________________
Brenda

AS OF 6/07...
* Nov'03, diagnosed stage 2B
* Dec'03, Rt side mastectomy, Her2neu+, ER/PR+,10 nodes removed, one +node
* Jan'04, Taxotere/Adria/Cytoxan x 6
* NED, Clean margins, no Rads
* Tamoxifen 1 year, then Arimadex for 3 months
* NED 14 months
* Sept'05, recurrence/microscopic mets in lungs/chest nodes/one underarm node
* Switched to Aromasin after recurrence
* Taxol/Carbo/Herceptin x 7
* NED 6 months - Herceptin only
* Aug'06, recurrence/micro mets in chest nodes & bone spots at C3 in neck
* Added Taxol to Herceptin indefinitely
* Feb'07 Genetic testing, BRCA 1 & 2 negative
* Apr'07 MRI revealed 2 small (9mm) brain mets & 5 punctates, and new left chest met.
Small increase of bone met in neck.
* Starting Tykerb/Xeloda May'07
* MRI June'07 - stable brain mets, no new mets, 9mm spots less enhanced.
* Tumor markers down from 45 to 17 in 7 weeks.
* Ty/Xel working it's magic!
* Will re-scan Aug'07.

NOV'06 - 3 year anniversary


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<HR style="COLOR: #aa8799" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->BRENDA THAT IS SOOO BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for remembering to share that. I am reading a link Leslie posted in CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC and I have thrill chills. It speaks of connecting with that teacher within, with your Spirit and the INFINITE POSSIBILITIES that alignment holds for us.

We have each been thrust into a process of RENEWAL with our dx of bc. Mythologist, scholar, teacher and author Joseph Campbell speaks of "regeneration...a retreat from the desperations of the wasteland to the magic" within, "golden seeds (that) do not die". The Soul being eternal.

Medtation allows the "self-righting" mechanism of the body to come into play. Learning to "live in" in the positive images we create is key component of self-HEALING, I am reading. That resonates as a KNOWING I had but was not yet aware of. Having the ability to shift out of "the critical, analytic mode of information processing", to SEE beyond -- "inhibits the interfering signals of doubt and skepticism", says researcher Ian Wickramesekera.

Those "blessed" with the awareness of their healing capabilities have "easier access to...a primarily intuitive and emotional response, thather than a logical or rational one". Harvard anthropologist Richard Katz notes "healers" are "more 'expressive' and passionate'". They raise within heir bodies the "boiling energy", as he studies the African Kung Bushman tribal ceremonies. Katz points to healing being associated with unexpected recoveries. The experts are busy studying "psychological changes that might precede healing -- searching in effect, for a Tumor Necrosis Factor of the Mind".

Fascinating stuff! Makes my heart smile to know such prestigious inquirers are scrutinizing this virtually untapped, hidden resource within each of us.

Sending loving, healing energy to all my Soul Sisters... ANDI
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'95 age 50 post-menopausal dx ILC -- 9cm tumor + 2 nodes out of 18 -- Lt mastec/tram flap reconst/PORT+8 mnths chemo (4Adria + 8CMF). Borderline ER/PR. Tamoxifen '96-'98. Felt LUCKY. Blessed. Something deep inside told me I WILL SURVIVE THIS!

'98 -- multiple mets to liver + HER2+ 80% ER/PR-. Flushed Tamoxifen down toilet. Raging, highly aggressive tumors spreading fast, per tests over 1st 2 wks. New PORT + 9 mnths Taxotere (isn't called The Freight Train Drug for nothing) but it did the job! We have a love/hate relationship. Made me miserable but helped save my life! Gotta love it...

Added Herceptin Nov '98 (6 wks after FDA fast-tracked its' use for met bc). BEEN ON VIT H EVER SINCE! I believe it keeps my Her2 gene from acting up, keeps more mets at bay, sustains me. Pronounced in CAUTIOUS remission May '99. Now I am a walking miracle. IN THE 1% club, they say! Still NEMD. To hell w/poor prognosis and nasty stats! "A CANDLE LOSES NOTHING IF IT IS USED TO LIGHT ANOTHER."
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[Andrea Barnett Budin]

Meditation allows the "self-righting" mechanism of the body to come into play. Learning to LIVE IN the images we create is a key component of SELF-HEALING, I read. Having the ability to shift out of "the critical, analytic mode of information processing", to SEE beyond -- "inhibis the interfering signals of doubt and skepticism", says researcher Ian Wickramesekera.

Those *blessed* with the awareness of their healing capabilities have "easier access to...aprimarily intuitive and emotional response. Rathan a logical or rational one". Harvard antropoligist Richard Katz notes "healers are more expressive and passionate. They raise with their bodies te "boiling point", as he studies the African Kung Bushman tribal ceremonies.

Becoming duly scarified impels us to go within and connect with our Spirit. That in turn grants us expanded vision and understanding. You can't prescribe it...but you can learn it. See Flori's post I'M SO UPSET from today and read the thread through for more on soothing your psychological blockades and activating your healing powers.

Sending much loving energy to all my Soul Sisters... ANDI

[Val Pfeiffer]

Andi--I really like your post (and I LOVE your photo--I just updated mine, but now I think I need to do another one that's more fun:-)

After reading this, I wanted to add the list of things that I felt then (at the time of diagnosis) and now and will in the future--because it reinforce it again for me, and because sharing ideas is what this board is all about:

1. There isn't anything I can do about the fact that I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. But I can choose my response to it.

2. There will always be someone out there who has a worse health situation than me. I can choose a pity party or I choose to live my life the best way possible.

3. I will continue to live my life by doing everything I have always done, unless it becomes impossible. I will continue to teach spin, because a high heart rate might give the Herceptin more "passes" through my body. I will continue to work because it keeps my brain active and happy.

4. While I have not gotten very upset about my situation, I need to understand that others close to me will grieve at different levels. They may expect me to behave in a certain way, or have certain needs, and when I don't match their expectations, I need to be understanding of their emotions.

5. Positive thinking is an effective weapon against fighting diseases like cancer. I can help my chemo drugs work their magic by mentally cheering them on.

6. Today is a great day because I'm alive. Others (like the guy I dated in high school and was engaged to right after high school who was instantly killed in a motor vehicle accident two years ago) don't get the chance to fight for their lives. I am lucky because I have been given that opportunity.

7. In general, people are generous, caring and totally cool. The people on this board, the people who brought meals when I was getting chemo and radiation, the people who sent emails to keep in touch--they are my heroes!


Val

[hutchibk]

Yes Val! Yes, yes, yes!! Thank you. You have put it down in affirmation form and the clarity of your writing and list is perfect.