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Old 09-01-2005, 11:57 AM   #1
Darleen
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Since last October, I have been undergoing treatment for breast cancer. I discovered the lump myself, after having been told by my radiologist in April that my mammogram was fine, and I should make an appointment for a year from April. It does something to your mind to have an expert tell you that you have nothing to worry about, and then you find a suspicious mass yourself. At first you tell yourself that it is nothing, and then you start to worry. Luckily, I was able to get in for a diagnostic mammo, a biopsy and then surgery within a month of finding the lump. The diagnosis was very scary since it was a 4.6 cm. mass(with lobular features that made it difficult to distinguish) with 2 little satelites, and it had spread to 22 lymph nodes. I was sure I was a goner. But chemo began in very short order with adriamycin & cytoxin, and then within 3 weeks the test came back saying that the cancer was also Her 2 +. My doctor assured me that it was in fact a good thing, because they had more ammunition to use, and Herceptin was the big gun. After 4 A & C chemos, I then had 6 with Carboplatin, Taxotere and Herceptin, and finished chemo at the end of June. Tomorrow I complete 28 radiation treatments. I will be infused with Herceptin every 3 weeks for as long as possible, and continue to pray that there will not be a recurrence. I have been lucky. In spite of the cancer being in so many nodes, it had not yet gone to any other organs.

The main thing I have learned through all of this, and it has been a severe lesson because I had to retire from teaching 7th Graders, is that you do have control over your attitude, even though you may not have control over your body. If you think of cancer as a curse, you then become a victim; if you think of it as a challenge, you then become a victor. On most days, I choose to think of cancer as a challenge. It is a hard fight, but simply putting on your best face and your best wig or hat, and jumping in the ring is the way I have found to deal with this disease. I refuse to dwell on my prognosis, and usually tell no one what stage my cancer is/was. After all, the only statistics that are important are 0% or 100%, right? My doctor tells me they are working for a cure for me, not just remission or more time. I believe him, and believe that I have had the curative cocktail.

I will be 1 year out on October 29, 2006. My plan is to be at my former school for my retirement party on that day, and I will give a toast to everyone's health, including my own. The support I received from school staff, friends and family was breathtaking. I owe them, along with my doctors, nurses, and technicians, my very life. This was not something I could do on my own. I refer to everyone around me as my "sherpas" on the trek up Mt. Everest. It has been a hard climb, but the vistas from up here are amazing.
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