HonCode

Go Back   HER2 Support Group Forums > Caregivers Corner
Register Gallery FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Caregivers Corner Dedicated to those who support their loved ones.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-17-2009, 10:04 PM   #1
Greg
Member
 
Greg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 20
Hairless in Seattle (well near Seattle)

Hello caregivers,

I was just wondering if any of you had shaved your heads to help support your caregivee? If so, did they appreciate it or did it make them more distraught? I am thinking of doing just that. I don't have much on top anyway, so its not a great loss. My wife is doing Taxol so I imagine she will lose her hair. This is bothering her a lot and I thought if I shaved my head before she had to it might make it easier on her when she has to do it. Then again, I wonder if looking at my bald pate might make her dread losing her hair even more. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?


Thanks,

Greg
Greg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 10:09 AM   #2
Laurel
Senior Member
 
Laurel's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Hershey, PA. Live The Sweet Life!
Posts: 2,005
Thumbs up

Greg,

Bret Favre shaved his head for his wife's chemo if you recall. She appreciated the gesture, or so she says in her book. Before you run out to shave yours though, why not wait to see if your wife actually loses hers. Many women do not lose their hair with Taxol. Mind you, I was not one of them. I had lost most of my hair with the 4 rounds of AC, but it was the Taxol that took my eyelashes and brows (well thinned my brows markedly!).

Hairloss is no fun, but with a quality wig, no one has any idea you are bald. I wore my baldness as a badge of courage that I did not hide except in public as my children felt less self-conscious with me in my wig. As soon as my hair was a quarter inch I stopped the wig and just went au natural! Wigs and hot flashes just do not mix well!

I applaud your willingness to sacrifice your remaining hair. If you wife does lose hers then play it by ear and do what you think is best. Being bald isn't the most difficult part of chemo, and during the summer months it feels kinda good! It's a drag in the winter! Don't know how you guys stand your short hair in the winter months!

I wish you and your wife many blessings and a complete and full remission.
__________________

Smile On!
Laurel


Dx'd w/multifocal DCIS/IDS 3/08
7mm invasive component
Partial mast. 5/08
Stage 1b, ER 80%, PR 90%, HER-2 6.9 on FISH
0/5 nodes
4 AC, 4 TH finished 9/08
Herceptin every 3 weeks. Finished 7/09
Tamoxifen 10/08. Switched to Femara 8/09
Bilat SPM w/reconstruction 10/08
Clinical Trial w/Clondronate 12/08
Stopped Clondronate--too hard on my gizzard!
Switched back to Tamoxifen due to tendon pain from Femara

15 Years NED
I think I just might hang around awhile....

Laurel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 10:58 AM   #3
Believe51
Senior Member
 
Believe51's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE
Posts: 2,999
Greg, to be honest here I did want to do this for Ed and to rebel against cancer in the beginning. In his case he felt that it was too big of a statement for me to make being a healthy woman and he loved my long hair.

My father did shave his head in tribute for his courageous Son-in-Law and that did prove to help Ed through alot of digesting of things in the start. They used to go do day trips and such together and it helped Ed to feel closer to Dad and not so alone either.

I think this is a beautiful gesture for you to make. To tribute to your love this way, it is not just sweet, it is precious. I am with Laurel in saying to wait and see if shes loses her hair. You will know the answer as time gets closer to the date.

I wish her peace, hope and happiness during her journey. And I want to follow her on the road to beating the heck out of the cancer. I am also thanking you for sharing with us and also helping others, Greg. Praying for you both and sending healing thoughts her way.>>Believe51
__________________
9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI
6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression
10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement,
NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5
12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue
Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!
Believe51 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-18-2009, 07:20 PM   #4
NanaKaren
Senior Member
 
NanaKaren's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Stayton, Oregon
Posts: 69
It is so sweet that you are SO supportive of your wife during her treatment. My husband was the best, but didn't shave his head. Losing my hair was very traumatic for me to say the least, even though it is just hair.
My hair came out in the first 10 days of AC and then as Laurel said the eyebrows and eyelashes were next while on Taxol. I bought a wig very near my natural color and had my hairdresser cut and style it for me. At home I wore a ballcap. I tried scarves, but looked like a pirate. It was probably 9 months before my hair was half an inch long and I stopped wearing my wig. Your wife will let you know how she feels about her hair and just let her go with what she is comfortable with.
There will always be someone here to answer your questions or guide you in the right direction.
Please keep in touch.
All my best, NanaKaren
__________________
Dx 7-21-05
1.7 cm invasive ductal carcinoma
Her2 +3 strongly positive
micromet in sentinel node
Sept.05 Lt.lumpectomy/bilat.reduction
Oct.05 4 rounds of AC/12 rounds of Taxol with Herceptin
Radiation 5 weeks
Herceptin only until Jan.07
Started Femara-stopped
Started Aromisin-stopped
Currently on Arimidex with a great deal of pain
Stopped Arimidex
Taking Tamoxifen
Karen
NanaKaren is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-19-2009, 06:55 PM   #5
Bill
Senior Member
 
Bill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
Hi Greg! I think it's awesome that you would do this for your wife. I'm sure she will appreciate it. Maybe wait to see if she actually loses her hair and then shave off yours. I shaved mine several years ago after my wife, Nikki, lost her hair, as a show of solidarity. She really appreciated it. Except for a brief period a few months back, I've continued to keep my head shaved, for alot of reasons. You guys hang in there. Take care, Bill
__________________
For Nicola
Bill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2009, 03:38 AM   #6
donalddonald
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 36
I think it is more important to take more time to take care of her needs than to think about of your hair.
donalddonald is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-21-2009, 11:09 AM   #7
Jackie07
Senior Member
 
Jackie07's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: "Love never fails."
Posts: 5,808
I would wait till she starts to lose her hair. Then, if you all prefer, you can go to the barber and shave your head together. It takes about 2, 3 rounds of chemo to have hairs falling obviously. It took me 4 round of chemo to have most of them gone.

I did wear a wig while working during chemo.
__________________
Jackie07
http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/06/doctors-letter-patient-newly-diagnosed-cancer.html
http://www.asco.org/ASCOv2/MultiMedi...=114&trackID=2

NICU 4.4 LB
Erythema Nodosum 85
Life-long Central Neurocytoma 4x5x6.5 cm 23 hrs 62090 semi-coma 10 d PT OT ST 30 d
3 Infertility tmts 99 > 3 u. fibroids > Pills
CN 3 GKRS 52301
IDC 1.2 cm Her2 +++ ER 5% R. Lmptmy SLNB+1 71703 6 FEC 33 R Tamoxifen
Recc IIB 2.5 cm Bi-L Mast 61407 2/9 nds PET
6 TCH Cellulitis - Lymphedema - compression sleeve & glove
H w x 4 MUGA 51 D, J 49 M
Diastasis recti
Tamoxifen B. scan
Irrtbl bowel 1'09
Colonoscopy 313
BRCA1 V1247I
hptc hemangioma
Vertigo
GI - > yogurt
hysterectomy/oophorectomy 011410
Exemestane 25 mg tab 102912 ~ 101016 stopped due to r. hip/l.thigh pain after long walk
DEXA 1/13
1-2016 lesions in liver largest 9mm & 1.3 cm onco. says not cancer.
3-11 Appendectomy - visually O.K., a lot of puss. Final path result - not cancer.
Start Vitamin D3 and Calcium supplement (600mg x2)
10-10 Stopped Exemestane due to r. hip/l.thigh pain OKed by Onco 11-08-2016
7-23-2018 9 mm groundglass nodule within the right lower lobe with indolent behavior. Due to possible adenocarcinoma, Recommend annual surveilence.
7-10-2019 CT to check lung nodule.
1-10-2020 8mm stable nodule on R Lung, two 6mm new ones on L Lung, a possible lymph node involvement in inter fissule.
"I WANT TO BE AN OUTRAGEOUS OLD WOMAN WHO NEVER GETS CALLED AN OLD LADY. I WANT TO GET SHARP EDGED & EARTH COLORED, TILL I FADE AWAY FROM PURE JOY." Irene from Tampa

Advocacy is a passion .. not a pastime - Joe
Jackie07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2009, 10:34 AM   #8
Greg
Member
 
Greg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 20
Thank you all for your input. Donalddonald had a point, its really superficial to worry about hair, but superficial or not she does worry about hair and in my role as caregiver I feel I need to help out with any aspect that I can. Thanks again,

Greg
Greg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2009, 06:37 PM   #9
Believe51
Senior Member
 
Believe51's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE
Posts: 2,999
Great advice from all as usual. Greg, you are doing a wonderful job of being a caregiver and I think you are exploring all avenues, is all. This is a concern of hers and you are addressing it now before the fact. I wrote in your other post about blood results and asked you how, Vickie was doing. How is she feeling after her last treatment? Thinking about you both as she moves forward. Caregiving is a difficult endeavor but we are here for you always, for anything.>>Believe51
__________________
9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI
6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression
10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement,
NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5
12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue
Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!
Believe51 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2009, 07:57 PM   #10
Greg
Member
 
Greg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 20
Thanks Believe,

She had her second infusion yesterday and it went pretty well. Today though she is worried that her red blood counts are dropping too fast. She is quite the worrier and everything upsets her. She also had a reaction again at 24 hours with a rash and small welts on her face and chest. Since it was on her chest this time and not last time, she is worried that the reactions will get worse with time. She also had a spell today where the left side of her left hand, from the pinkie to the wrist was numb for about 2 hours. Feeling has come back now. This is very difficult for me since she has always been a really up, happy go lucky person and I have always been the worrier!

Oh well, we trudge forward. How is your husband doing? I'm sorry to be so obtuse, does he have breast cancer?

Thanks again for all of your help and for being there for everyone.

Greg
Greg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-2009, 10:15 PM   #11
Believe51
Senior Member
 
Believe51's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: RHODE ISLAND (Ed getting me a latte on 2nd Cancerversary Cruise 2008) 'BELIEVE': To accept as true or real, To have faith in, To presume ALWAYS BELIEVE
Posts: 2,999
Hello Greg, I wanted to ask you if she is getting any premeds that could help with some of these side effects such as the rash? What is her exact chemo regime? Is her nausea controlled? Sorry for all the questions, just been thinking about her lately.

And yes my husband has:

Stage IV....Her2+++......Inflammatory Breast Cancer......and Male Breast Cancer of course. Thanks for asking Greg. He is going to the OncoMan tomorrow as a matter of fact. We will be discussing his next treatment. Ughhhhh! Good Night Greg.>>Believe51
__________________
9/7/06Husband 50yrs=StageIV IBC/HER2+,BoneMets10/06TaxotereX10,'H'1X wk,Zometa,Tamoxifen4/12/07Last Tax5/18/07Pet=Rapid Cell Activity,No Organ Mets,Lytic Lesions,Degeneration,Some Bone Repair5/07ChemoFail6/01/07Pleural Thoracentisis=Effusions,NoMalignantCells6/19/07+7/2/07DFCI
6/25/07BrainMRI=BrainMets,Many<9mm7/10/07WBR/PelvisRad37.5Gx15&Nutritionist8/19/07T/X9/20/07BrainMRI=2<2mm10/6/07Pet=BoneProgression
10/24/07ChemoFail11/9/07A/Cx10,EndTam12/7/07Faslodex12/10/07Muga7512/13/07BlasticLesions1/7/08BrainMRI=Clear4/1/08Pet=BoneImprovement,
NoProgression,Stable4/7/08BrainPerfect5/16/08Last A/C8/26/08BrainMets=10(<9mm)9/10/08Gamma10/30/08Met=5mm12/19/08Gamma5mets5
12/22/08SpinalMets1/14/09SpinalRads2/17/09BrainMRI=NoNewMets4/20/09BoneScan5/14/09Ixempra6/1/09BrainMRI=NumerousMets6/24/09DFCIw/DrBurstein6/26/09Continue
Ixempra/Faslodex/Zometa~TM now lower7/17/09Stop Ixempra By Choice9/21/09HOSPICE10/16/09Earned His Deserved Wings And Halo=37 Month Fight w/Stage 4 IBC, Her2+++,My Hero!!
Believe51 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:21 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright HER2 Support Group 2007 - 2021
free webpage hit counter