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05-03-2008, 02:25 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Poland Ohio just a little south of Youngstown.
Posts: 473
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I have always dreaded the month of May
For so many years, I hated to see the month of May approaching. Please bare with me, I really am struggling here.
When I was 10 my mom died on May 28th. Later in life, my dad died on May 22nd and was buried on the same day that my mom died. Two years ago, I found the lump in my breast on mothers day and was diagnosed with cancer on May 18th. My son nearly took his life in May four years ago.
And now so much sadness about Kate, I can hardly bear it. I can't stay away from this board but I don't want to read anymore. I know in my mind that the month of May has nothing to do with it but in my heart it hurts so much to have all of these things happen in May. I wish I could just rip it from my calender.
I guess I just need to vent, to yell or to scream, I really need some extra strength right now. I can't get Kate off my mind, such a sweet wonderful lady and always facing the worse things with that lovely smile on her face. I know that you are all joining me in constant prayer for her, we need to pray for a miracle and for peace of mind and heart for her.
Thanks for listening. I'm afraid that right now I'm a blubbering mess, wish I could just sleep thru this month.
Hugs
__________________
Susan
Age: 61
dx: 5/25/06
2 cm/ 0 nodes
Lumpectomy rt breast on 7/26/06
ER/PR- / Her2+++
A/C x 4
finished taxotere 2/07
finished 33 rads
Herceptin finished 12/07/07 Yippee!
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05-03-2008, 02:32 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: "Love never fails."
Posts: 5,808
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It's healthy and necessary to vent...
Something nice about May though - your cancerversary is approaching, don't forget to celebrate!
__________________
Jackie07
http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/06/doctors-letter-patient-newly-diagnosed-cancer.html
http://www.asco.org/ASCOv2/MultiMedi...=114&trackID=2
NICU 4.4 LB
Erythema Nodosum 85
Life-long Central Neurocytoma 4x5x6.5 cm 23 hrs 62090 semi-coma 10 d PT OT ST 30 d
3 Infertility tmts 99 > 3 u. fibroids > Pills
CN 3 GKRS 52301
IDC 1.2 cm Her2 +++ ER 5% R. Lmptmy SLNB+1 71703 6 FEC 33 R Tamoxifen
Recc IIB 2.5 cm Bi-L Mast 61407 2/9 nds PET
6 TCH Cellulitis - Lymphedema - compression sleeve & glove
H w x 4 MUGA 51 D, J 49 M
Diastasis recti
Tamoxifen B. scan
Irrtbl bowel 1'09
Colonoscopy 313
BRCA1 V1247I
hptc hemangioma
Vertigo
GI - > yogurt
hysterectomy/oophorectomy 011410
Exemestane 25 mg tab 102912 ~ 101016 stopped due to r. hip/l.thigh pain after long walk
DEXA 1/13
1-2016 lesions in liver largest 9mm & 1.3 cm onco. says not cancer.
3-11 Appendectomy - visually O.K., a lot of puss. Final path result - not cancer.
Start Vitamin D3 and Calcium supplement （600mg x2)
10-10 Stopped Exemestane due to r. hip/l.thigh pain OKed by Onco 11-08-2016
7-23-2018 9 mm groundglass nodule within the right lower lobe with indolent behavior. Due to possible adenocarcinoma, Recommend annual surveilence.
7-10-2019 CT to check lung nodule.
1-10-2020 8mm stable nodule on R Lung, two 6mm new ones on L Lung, a possible lymph node involvement in inter fissule.
"I WANT TO BE AN OUTRAGEOUS OLD WOMAN WHO NEVER GETS CALLED AN OLD LADY. I WANT TO GET SHARP EDGED & EARTH COLORED, TILL I FADE AWAY FROM PURE JOY." Irene from Tampa
Advocacy is a passion .. not a pastime - Joe
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05-03-2008, 02:41 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Sheboygan, WI
Posts: 2,582
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Oh sweet Susan..........Thank you for sharing your heart with us here. It is always good to get your feelings out and often times it's extremely helpful as you gather strength from others as they try to support you and put things into a little better perspective for you.
I know life can be hard....boy do I know.....and I know lately, here on our board there has been so much saddness and heart ache BUT we have each other. We love and care for each other greatly. We pray for one another and we are all "sisters" ( and brothers too  ) together on a journey that can be so sad at times and so joyful at other times. I pray that God would help you concentrate on those joyful times (like the month you were blessed with your precious grandson Dylan) and help you deal with those times that bring you sadness.
Love and Peace to you sweet friend and I pray your heart can be lifted up as you think on that which brings you joy and together in spirit may we all gather together to pray for our "sisters" who are struggling the most right now ~ our dear Michelle and Kate!!
Mary Jo
__________________
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
Dx. 6/24/05 age 45 Right Breast IDC ER/PR. Neg., - Her2+++ RB Mast. - 7/28/05 - 4 cm. tumor Margins clear - 1 microscopic cell 1 sent. node No Vasucular Invasion 4 DD A/C - 4 DD Taxol & Herceptin 1 full year of Herceptin received every 3 weeks 28 rads prophylactic Mast. 3/2/06
17 Years NED
<>< Romans 8:28
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05-03-2008, 02:41 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Misty woods of WA State
Posts: 4,128
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Surely can understand all that sadness wrapped up in one month. Please feel what you feel and let it pass.
For my family the month of May has always been full of joyous gatherings and events. My grandmother was born May 9, myself on the 4th and my sister on the 16th. Then there was Mother's Day. I always had friends with May birthdays.
The weather would always be so nice, even though it marked the end of ski season. It marked the beginning of summer trips or swim meets as the planning would be in full swing. There was always so much to look forward to after Easter.
March seems to be the bittersweet month for me as I lost a lot of people then, but not my parents, which is much harder.
__________________
"When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest." H.D. Thoreau
Live in the moment.
MY STORY SO FAR ~~~~
Found suspicious lump 9/2000
Lumpectomy, then node dissection and port placement
Stage IIB, 8 pos nodes of 18, Grade 3, ER & PR -
Adriamycin 12 weekly, taxotere 4 rounds
36 rads - very little burning
3 mos after rads liver full of tumors, Stage IV Jan 2002, one spot on sternum
Weekly Taxol, Navelbine, Herceptin for 27 rounds to NED!
2003 & 2004 no active disease - 3 weekly Herceptin + Zometa
Jan 2005 two mets to brain - Gamma Knife on Jan 18
All clear until treated cerebellum spot showing activity on Jan 2006 brain MRI & brain PET
Brain surgery on Feb 9, 2006 - no cancer, 100% radiation necrosis - tumor was still dying
Continue as NED while on Herceptin & quarterly Zometa
Fall-2006 - off Zometa - watching one small brain spot (scar?)
2007 - spot/scar in brain stable - finished anticoagulation therapy for clot along my port-a-catheter - 3 angioplasties to unblock vena cava
2008 - Brain and body still NED! Port removed and scans in Dec.
Dec 2008 - stop Herceptin - Vaccine Trial at U of W begun in Oct. of 2011
STILL NED everywhere in Feb 2014 - on wing & prayer
7/14 - Started twice yearly Zometa for my bones
Jan. 2015 checkup still shows NED
2015 Neuropathy in feet - otherwise all OK - still NED.
Same news for 2016 and all of 2017.
Nov of 2017 - had small skin cancer removed from my face. Will have Zometa end of Jan. 2018.
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05-03-2008, 02:47 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Wilmington, Del.
Posts: 1,126
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This has been a difficult week for us on this board. I am healthy, thank God, but several people I know lost loved ones last week. Life is very precious, but it's so hard to understand that maybe it's not worth trying. I just read that Einstein said to look deeply into nature for better understanding.
__________________
MJO
IDC, Stage I, Grade 2
Oncotype DX Score 32
Her2++ E+P+, Node Neg.
Lumpectomy 11/04/05 Clear Margins
3 Dose dense AC (Couldn't tolerate 4)
4 Dose dense Taxol & Herc. (Tolerated well)
36 weeks Herceptin (Could not complete one year due to decrease in MUGA score)
2 years of Arimidex, then three years of Femara
Finished Femara May 2011
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05-03-2008, 02:50 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Poland Ohio just a little south of Youngstown.
Posts: 473
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Thank you, my sisters. Thank you for understanding and for caring so much. You are the dearest, sweetest people that I know. I wish we could all be together just to draw strength from each other and join in one huge hugfest! I do thank God for this board even when it's so difficult at times. God bless each and every one of you.
hugs
__________________
Susan
Age: 61
dx: 5/25/06
2 cm/ 0 nodes
Lumpectomy rt breast on 7/26/06
ER/PR- / Her2+++
A/C x 4
finished taxotere 2/07
finished 33 rads
Herceptin finished 12/07/07 Yippee!
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05-03-2008, 05:21 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,077
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Sweet Susan, my heart goes out to you! I know exactly how you feel. Certain months can be bad for me, too. This past week here on the boards have been hard for all of us, and then on top of all that you have your own personal crosses that you bear every May. I'm glad you vented to us. I hope and pray that this May will be a little easier than others and that God will send a special Joy to you this month to help you through it. Peace and Comfort to you, Bill
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05-03-2008, 05:36 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,357
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Susan, here's throwing in a big prayer for you too. You just scream! And we'll pray for you. ma
__________________
MA in TX.
Grateful for each and every day....
Diag. 12/05 at age 60
Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor
ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive
Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified
vascular invasion
Ki67 20% borderline
Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew
April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive
April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense)
Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense)
Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007
Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year.
Port removed August, 2012.
8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!
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05-03-2008, 05:48 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Mountains of Virginia
Posts: 2,267
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"I wish we could all be together just to draw strength from each other and join in one huge hugfest!"
Susan,
We are all together, not in body, but in spirit, love and support as we "gather" here on the board. Here is my huge "HUG" for you. I hope that you will find peace and comfort during this difficult month.
__________________
Rhonda (Sassy)
dx age 45
DX 2/15/05 Stage IIb (at surgery)restaged IIIa
Left mast .9cm tumor 5 of 14 nodes
Triple Positive
4 DD A/C
12 Taxol/Herceptin
33Rads
Strange infect mast site one year aft surg, hosp 1 wk
Herceptin for total of 18 months
Lupron Monthly 4 yrs
Neurontin for aches, pains and hot flashes(It works!)
Ovaries removed 11/09 stop Lupron and Neurontin
Arimidex 6 yrs (tried Femara, no SE improvement)
Tried Exemestane-hips got so bad could hardly walk
Back to Arimidex for year seven
Zometa 2X Annual for 7years, Lasix
Stop Arimidex 5/13
Stop Zometa 7/13-Bi-lateral Stress Fractures in Femurs from Zometa
5/14 Start Tamoxifen
3/15 Stem cell transplant to stimulate femur bone growth/healing
5/15 Complete fracture of right femur/Titanium rods both femurs
9/16 Start Evista stopTamoxifen
3/17 Stop Evista--unwelcome side effects!
NED and no meds.......
14 YEARS NED!
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05-03-2008, 06:58 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Newton, MA
Posts: 951
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My heart goes out to you! You certainly have some tough times to remember in May. I was also diagnosed during that month, initially and with my recurrence. When was that little grandson born? I'm certain that he is a "life of joy".
Thinking of you!
Barbara H.
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05-04-2008, 02:25 AM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 3,463
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Susan, I'm sorry you're feeling low right now and pray the coming strengh and hope to get through this month and maybe think of the good things rather than the bad. A Cancerversary coming up is a big celebration so focus on that...your good health and try not to look back too often.
We're thinking of you..
__________________
Tricia
Dx July '05 IDC 1.9cm Triple positive 3/9 nodes positive
A/C X 4 ..Taxol/Herceptin x 12 wks then herceptin 1 yr
Rads x 36 ..oophorectomy August '06
Currently taking Arimidex..
June 2011 osteopenia/ zometa x1 yearly- stopped Zometa 2015 as Dexa show normal bone density.
Stopped Arimidex July 2014- Restarted Arimidex 2015 for a further two years on the advice of my Onc.
2014 Normal Dexa scan
2018 Mammo all clear, still NED!
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05-04-2008, 04:54 AM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: moved to Lancaster, Pa in June, 2010
Posts: 576
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Susan, My heart aches for you. Praying you find peace and comfort throughout the month.
__________________
Debbie in North Carolina
Diag 10/2006-high grade invasive ductal carcinoma- mastectomy L breast
2.5 cm tumor ER/PR pos-Her2+++
4 rounds A/C, 4 rounds Taxol
Herceptin every 3 weeks until Jan. 2008
6/18/07 prophylatic mastectomy R breast
8/2007 started aromasin/stopped arimidex (side effects)
12/07 stopped aromasin due to side effects (now what?)
Finished herceptin 1/8/08
started tamoxifen for 2 years then will switch to femera
allergic to tamoxifen started femera 4/2008
June 20, 2008 portacath removed
Learnig to live life to the fullest!
Stopped Femera due to side effects
July 28, 2008 start trial for breast cancer vaccine
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05-04-2008, 07:28 AM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,154
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Susan,
May certainly is a month of sad memories for you. My wish for you, is that you experience some new memories that will bring a smile to your
face and soul. In the meantime until new happy memories can be made
please know you are supported and loved here.
Hugs,
jean
__________________
Stage 1, Grade 1, 3/30/05
Lumpectomy 4/15/05 - 6MM IDC
Node Neg. (Sentinel node)
ER+ 90% / PR-, Her2+++ by FISH
Ki-67 40%
Arimidex 5/05
Radiation 32 trt, 5/30/05
Oncotype DX test 4/17/06, 31% high risk
TOPO 11 neg. 4/06
Stopped Arimidex 5/06
TCH 5/06, 6 treatments
Herceptin 5/06 - for 1 yr.
9/06 Completed chemo
Started Femara Sept. 2006
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05-04-2008, 09:58 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Bradenton,FL
Posts: 977
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Just some thoughts...I post on another site where there are two young mothers fighting for their lives. Once you have had BC you become a member of a club where no one takes their lives for granted. Sometimes the survivors guilt get to you though. To hear and read the desperation in anothers post, well, it breaks my heart when I can do NOTHING to help.
Susan,>>>>>>>>>> this is me reaching my hand out to yours to share my strength with you,... if we all form a circle the strength will grow tenfold.
Marcia
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