REcurrance Fears

Brenda S · 07-03-2009, 01:25 PM

Friends,
I finished Herceptin in May and had my last infusion of Carboplatin/Taxotere last September. I had a full body bone scan in February that was completely clear and just a month ago had a routine follow-up physical with my onc. Again, all was clear. I have been having an ache along my shin bone for about a week. It is enough to keep me awake at night. I am fearful that it is the cancer returning in my bones. Am I being paranoid and unreasonable. Could the cancer recur this quickly? Any thoughts?
Thanks!!
Brenda

Jackie07 · 07-03-2009, 02:08 PM

Brenda,

Having 'found' my recurrence 4 years after my initial treatment and being misinformed 'all's clear', I understand your concern and applaud your allertness.

But 'I think' it is not likely for you to develop bone mets judging the fact that yours is a Grade 2 (not as fast growing as a Grade 3) and your tumor was 1mm less than my first one. Plus you've had plenty of chemo and Herceptin.

However, anything that is severe enough to keep you awake at night definitely needs to get checked out. Have you checked with your doctor?

I insisted on a CT scan when I felt 'something' in my liver area even though it was not likely for me to have liver mets according to my lab report. My oncologist 'double' checked my follow-up ultrasound to make sure it was indeed unharmful hemangiomas even though he often expressed his belief that I was a hypochondriac.

Getting it checked out gave me the peace of mind and proved that I was not a hypochondriac, there is 'something' in my liver...

Becky · 07-03-2009, 02:16 PM

What you are experiencing is normal. Every ache or pain, every headache. Its true that it could be a recurrence and we all have to stay atuned to that but chances are its just another ache or pain as usual. The shin would be a rare place for bone mets (really) as are the hands and feet.

Use the "watch and wait" criteria of 2-3 weeks and if it doesn't go away. A shin splint injury can be very painful and take a long time to go away. Baby it and do "RICE" (rest, ice, compression and elevation). Maybe you don't have to wrap it (compression) but try the others and some advil too (at least before bed). I really think this is nothing to be worried about cancer or otherwise.

Lien · 07-03-2009, 02:55 PM

Ah, I remember those days well. For the first year after diagnosis I had several times when I was sure I was dealing with a recurrence... but I didn't. Everything I had checked out turned out to be benign. So gradually I started trusting my body again. This body had let me down so badly and I had a very hard time trusting it again. But in time the trust came back and I relaxed. Stick to the 2 week rule: if some weird symptom doesn't go away for 2 weeks, talk to your doc and tell him/her about your fears.

Last year I was sure I felt an obstruction in my colon. It wasn't painful, and felt like some kind of lump. Eventually my doc ordered a colonoscopy, which came back clear. But the symptoms returned... Then I found I had become allergic to rice, one of my staple foods. When I stopped eating rice, the problem disappeared. Go figure!

So what you are feeling is quite normal, and the more you focus on the symptoms, the more pronounced they seem to become. Stick to the 2 week rule, and you'll feel less anxious, I think.

Hugs

Jacqueline

Cannon · 07-03-2009, 03:36 PM

Hi - my response is, you are probably paranoid (I know I am) and definitely NOT unreasonable!

Cancer can come back quickly, but it is not likely to have, and the shin would be a low probability target (although breast cancer goes to bones, it is much more likely to go the spine - basically whatever is in close proximity to the breast).

So - follow the wait and watch advice, and check with your doctor if it doesn't go away.

I still worry a lot about every little thing, but I always have my next appt with the oncologist scheduled, so I make note of -- right now, a small pimple like thing under my left arm (cancer was on right side), so when I see him, if it is still there, I can say, it's been there at least three weeks. And if he says, don't worry about it, I don't - 1) because I trust him and 2) because I know my next scans are around the corner.

I have had so much unlikely cr#p happen to me, that my GOAL is to be a hypochondriac.

Best,
Rebecca

Jean · 07-03-2009, 10:12 PM

Hi Brenda,
It is so normal to feel this way. First of all you have just completed herceptin. I think while on treatment we feel
safe then when the time comes for our final treatment there is a feeling of seperation anxiety. Every pain and ache is a concern. As Becky mentioned the shin would be a rare place for bone mets.

Keep up with your regular check ups, exercise, watch the diet and you are doing all you can to stay healthy.
It is not easy to adjust to the new normal allow yourself time.

Sending you all good wishes,
Jean

Mary Jo · 07-04-2009, 05:52 AM

Good Morning Brenda....

Just wanted to offer you a hug this morning and also my support and MORE importantly my understanding. I remember being a little over a year out - herceptin done - etc. Those days my friend were scary times. I thought I had a recurrence everyday.

This too shall pass....I promise. Try to do what I did when those awful fears would surface. I'd tell myself "ok self......for right now as far as you know you do not have cancer.......live in that knowledge - live your life happily. God knows your tomorrows and He already knows your tomorrows so try to rest in the now." Often times, that would get me through a day more peacefully and next thing I'd know (sometimes after a test to determine whether or not I had a recurrence) it would pass......and then we'd move onto the next ache or pain

!!

Brenda it does get easier. As the others have said, it is normal and it's part of the process.

Sending up prayers for your comfort and peace today dear sister.

Mary Jo

suzan w · 07-04-2009, 09:51 AM

Hi Brenda, I have been to the ER more than once for aches and pains that I was sure were serious. My 'brain tumor' turned out to be vertigo (scary!), didn't want to go to the ER for fear of being paranoid-that was appendicitis! You get the picture. I am not trying to make light of your fears, but to let you know how normal you are for all of your fears! Cancer robs us of our innocence. By paying close attention to your body you are taking care of yourself. I do not get much peace of mind when my oncologist tells me 'don't worry, if mets occur we will deal with it then.' Well, personally, I would like to catch anything at the first smidge of a symptom. So I go to the ER...make a doc appointment...come here and ask...basically take care of me...physically, mentally, and spiritually! Hugs to you today!!!

Brenda S · 07-06-2009, 05:45 AM

Friends,
As always, my sincere thanks and gratitude for taking the time to reply to my query. This is such a wonderful site. Your answers have reassured me and allayed my fears
Cheers,
Brenda

harrie · 07-07-2009, 12:02 AM

Brenda, I seriously doubt it is a bone mets. And believe me, you are not alone in feeling abnormalities and thinking the worst. In fact you are probably in the majority.
BTW, I had the same treatment that you did.
Congrats on the completion of your treatments!
Maryanne

MJo · 07-07-2009, 05:40 AM

I agree that your concern is perfectly normal. I belong to a BC survivors support group, and we can actually joke about our fears now. We laugh about toe cancer, thumb cancer, eyebrow cancer - because whenever we feel a pain in any body part, automatically we think of cancer. At the same time, we all know we must be vigilant about our health.