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02-17-2007, 12:20 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 290
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My Sweet Angel is Gone
Dear friends at HER2 support,
It is through waves of tears that I tell you that the love of my life, my sweet Mother, has left this world. She passed away on February 11th, but I was not able to post or access the site as I was unaware of the changes made.
My heart is broken into a thousand little pieces, and I am torn apart from the inside out. My Mother was the most selfless, devoted, and caring mother that ever walked the earth. Any good that is in me came as a result of having been raised by her and my Father. They worked tirelessly to give me a good life, and tried to teach me what was true and right in the world. The last words I spoke to her before her casket was closed, was to thank her for loving me the way she did.
I feel as if I have been hit in the face with a shovel, and I don't know what to do next. Our routine of many years now has come to a grinding and gut wrenching halt. I will tell you more when I can next bring myself to write about her, but I will let you all have this one bit of satisfaction. Thanks to the efforts of Joe, Christine, and all of you, Mom did NOT succumb to the Beast. Her death was unrelated to it in any way. All of you helped me and her beat the Beast down and kill it. For that I will be forever greatful.
I am going away for a few days to help a friend with her recovery from brain surgery (not cancer) and will post when I return. Thank you all again. I will never forget what you did for us in my most desperate moments of darkness through her battle. I love you all very much.
Greatfully yours,
Tom
Proud son of Hazel K. Brown
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02-17-2007, 01:22 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 329
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Dear Tom,
I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. Tom, what can I say. I'm sure your Mom had a great life otherwise she couldn't have a son like you. She was a great woman, she lived her life fully, she gave you as a gift to the world. And I know she was in peace when she left this world, knowing you will continue her life. I love you like my brother and we are here for you. I know she does not want you to be sad, and she wants you to continue her way of life.
Much love,
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02-17-2007, 01:26 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,018
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Tom, you and your mother are very real for us because you have been so caring and willing to share pieces of yourselves and your lives with us. I'm glad there is so much that your parents gave you to continue to help you make your life really count. Many times your comments here have been valuable to others. Take the time you need now, and come back when you can.
Yours,
AlaskaAngel
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02-17-2007, 01:36 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Morris, IL
Posts: 3,507
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Tom
All of us Mothers on this board truly admired the selfless and tireless way you looked after your Mother. always looking for something to help her....if only all Mothers were as lucky as yours, to have such a loving son! You were a gift from her and your Father, and you in turn returned that gift by caring for her and giving her your "all" when she needed it most.May the love she shared with you and you with her, help you heal through all of this and continue on....you made her more proud than many a mother! You are a true example of respect and love. Thank you for sharing at this hard time....she is at peace now, and will forever be remember in your heart and ours.
__________________
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
Hugs & Blessings
Sheila
Diagnosed at age 49.99999 2/21/2002 via Mammography (Calcifications)
Core Biopsy 2/22/02
L. Mastectomy 2/25/2002
Stage 1, 0.7cm IDC, Node Neg from 19 nodes Her2+++ ER PR Neg
6/2003 Reconstruction W/ Tissue Expander, Silicone Implant
9/2003 Stage IV with Mets to Supraclavicular nodes
9/2003 Began Herceptin every 3 weeks
3/2006 Xeloda 2500mg/Herceptin for recurrence to neck nodes
3/2007 Added back the Xeloda with Herceptin for continued mets to nodes
5/2007 Taken Off Xeloda, no longer working
6/14/07 Taxol/Herceptin/Avastin
3/26 - 5/28/08 Taxol Holiday Whopeeeeeeeee
5/29 2008 Back on Taxol w Herceptin q 2 weeks
4/2009 Progression on Taxol & Paralyzed L Vocal Cord from Nodes Pressing on Nerve
5/2009 Begin Rx with Navelbine/Herceptin
11/09 Progression on Navelbine
Fought for and started Tykerb/Herceptin...nodes are melting!!!!!
2/2010 Back to Avastin/Herceptin
5/2010 Switched to Metronomic Chemo with Herceptin...Cytoxan and Methotrexate
Pericardial Window Surgery to Drain Pericardial Effusion
7/2010 Back to walking a mile a day...YEAH!!!!
9/2010 Nodes are back with a vengence in neck
Qualified for TDM-1 EAP
10/6/10 Begin my miracle drug, TDM-1
Mixed response, shrinking internal nodes, progression skin mets after 3 treatments
12/6/10 Started Halaven (Eribulen) /Herceptin excellent results in 2 treatments
2/2011 I CELEBRATE my 9 YEAR MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7/5/11 begin Gemzar /Herceptin for node progression
2/8/2012 Gemzar stopped, Continue Herceptin
2/20/2012 Begin Tomo Radiation to Neck Nodes
2/21/2012 I CELEBRATE 10 YEARS
5/12/2012 BeganTaxotere/ Herceptin is my next miracle for new node progression
6/28/12 Stopped Taxotere due to pregression, Started Perjeta/Herceptin
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02-17-2007, 01:36 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 215
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Tom, I don't post often , but I always looked forward to reading your posts. You are the most caring person I have ever had the pleasure of not meeting personally but thru your posts. I have sons also that are very caring and I hope they can measure up to your standards. Your dear sweet Mother is at peace now in the arms of Jesus, so please celebrate her life. Please don't leave this site, we need you here with us. God Bless you, Jeanette
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02-17-2007, 01:55 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Acworth, GA
Posts: 2,104
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Tom,
My heart felt sympathy is sent your way. Your mother was fortunate to have such a loving son. I'm at a loss for words. Please take care of yourself.
__________________
Kate
Stage IIIC Diagnosed Oct 25, 2005 (age 58)
ER/PR-, HER2+++, grade 3, Ploidy/DNA index: Aneuploid/1.61, S-phase: 24.2%
Neoadjunct chemo: 4 A/C; 4 Taxatore
Bilateral mastectomy June 8, 2006
14 of 26 nodes positive
Herceptin June 22, 2006 - April 20, 2007
Radiation (X35) July 24-September 11, 2006
BRCA1/BRCA2 negative
Stage IV lung mets July 13, 2007 - TCH
Single brain met - August 6, 2007 -CyberKnife
Oct 2007 - clear brain MRI and lung mets shrinking.
March 2008 lung met progression, brain still clear - begin Tykerb/Xeloda/Ixempra
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02-17-2007, 02:08 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 2,357
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Hi Tom! Thank you for making time when it didn't feel good to do so, and letting us know about your mother. No more powerful thing in this ol' world than love. And you have had a family that understood the power and used it fully. I'm so sorry for your grief. I hope that you will find some peace soon. I must say that it took me several years to stop grieving for my mom after she died. She fought such a valiant battle her last 3 years against Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. What an example she set for me, just as your mother did for you. God bless you and thank you again for caring enough to let us know. mary anne
__________________
MA in TX.
Grateful for each and every day....
Diag. 12/05 at age 60
Stage II, Grade 3, 4.5 cm primary tumor
ER/PR- Her2 +3 strongly positive
Her2 by FISH 7.7 amplified
vascular invasion
Ki67 20% borderline
Jan - March '06 Taxotere/Adriamycin X 3 to try to shrink tumor - it grew
April '06 Rt Modified Radical Mas, 7 of 9 nodes positive
April - Aug. '06 Herceptin/Taxol/Carboplatin X 8 (dose dense)
Sept - Dec. '06 Navelbine/Herceptin x 8 (dose dense)
Radiation & Herceptin Jan. 22 - March 1, 2007
Finished Herceptin Dec. 10 '08! One extra year.
Port removed August, 2012.
8 1/2 years since diagnosis! 5 1/2 Years NED!
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02-17-2007, 02:59 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Lincoln, Rhode Island
Posts: 371
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Dear Tom,
My heart breaks for you and you family. You are truely a wonderful man and son.May god bring you through this horrible ordeal. Again my deepest sympathy.
__________________
Love and Hope
Karen
IDC
DX 1998 STAGE I ER+/ PR+
AC CHEMO TILL FEB 1999
Tamxofin till 2001
2001 exstensive liver mets and mets to lungs
Started weekly taxol
Jan 2002 found out I was strongly HER2POS+++ started herceptin continued with taxol and herceptin till June 2002 then from June 2002 till Jan 2005 just herceptin and Arimidex
2005 Navelbine herceptin had RFA Then back on taxol with herceptin
April 2006 progression again went on clinical trial with tykrerb/herceptin progressed on the started Xeloda/ herceptin
Feb 2007 started Doxil
August 2007 Taxotere,Carboplatin and Herceptin exstensive mets to liver and pancreas
October 2007 Had to stop Carboplatin due to sever allergic reaction
Jan 2008
Stopped Taxotere due to progression now on Gemzar and Herceptin
March 2008 Starting Carboplatin, Abraxane, and Herceptin.
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02-17-2007, 02:04 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 26
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Tom
Tom....no Words Can Help With The Emptiness You Feel....but You Did Good With The Way You Loved And Cared For Your Mom....may God Be With You At This Time....
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02-17-2007, 03:51 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 38
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I am so sorry. I lost my mother soon after beginning chemo and she, also, was the most wonderful mother one could ever have. She also had breast cancer but died of other causes. My heart goes out to you.
Bonnie
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02-17-2007, 03:57 PM
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#11
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ireland
Posts: 3,463
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So sorry
Tom My sincere sympathy to you on your Moms passing.
You will both be in my prayers.
Hugs
Tricia
__________________
Tricia
Dx July '05 IDC 1.9cm Triple positive 3/9 nodes positive
A/C X 4 ..Taxol/Herceptin x 12 wks then herceptin 1 yr
Rads x 36 ..oophorectomy August '06
Currently taking Arimidex..
June 2011 osteopenia/ zometa x1 yearly- stopped Zometa 2015 as Dexa show normal bone density.
Stopped Arimidex July 2014- Restarted Arimidex 2015 for a further two years on the advice of my Onc.
2014 Normal Dexa scan
2018 Mammo all clear, still NED!
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02-17-2007, 04:22 PM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 161
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I'm very sorry to hear about your mother, Tom.
__________________
Diag. Oct. 2004 age 54 left breast
Stage 1 grade 3; 6mm IDC; unknown amount of DCIS
with comedo necrosis; node neg.
Nottingham Grade 7/9
ER 91% PR 62%; Her2 3.6 by ICH; KI-67 35%
Nov 2004 Lumpectomy; SNB failed so had
full axillary clearance;
Dec 2004 2nd lumpy for clean DCIS margins.
Jan/Feb 2005 4 A/C dose dense;
33 rads finished 6/2005;
Began 5 years Arimidex in 6/2005
No Herceptin
9/2007 Quit Arimidex due to severe side effects.
NED
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02-17-2007, 05:09 PM
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#13
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 943
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Dear Tom,
My deepest sympathy goes out to you. Your mother was lucky to have such a devoted, caring son, as I know you were to her. I am praying that God will touch you with peace and comfort you. Please take care and do come back on the boards when you are able.
__________________
Robin
2002- dx her2 positive DCIS/bc TX Mast, herceptin chemo
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02-17-2007, 06:43 PM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,756
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Dear Tom,
I am so sorry for your loss. You can't imagine it now, but one day memories of your mom will make you smile through your tears as you think "what would mom say or do about this?" Our mom's will always live in our hearts.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
<3 Lolly
__________________
Sept.'99 - Dx.Stage IIIB, IDC ER/PR-, HER2+++ by IHC, confirmed '04 by FISH. Left MRM, AC x's 4, Taxol x's 4, 33 Rads, finishing Tx May 2000. Jan.'01 - local/regional recurrence, Stage IV. Herceptin/Navelbine weekly till NED August 2001, then maintenance Herceptin. Right Mast. April 2002. Local/Regional recurrence April '04, Herceptin plus/minus chemo until May '07. Gemzar added from Feb.'07-April '07; Tykerb/Abraxane until August '07, back on Herceptin plus Taxotere and Xeloda Sept. '07. Stopped T/X Nov. '07, stopped Herceptin Dec. '07, started Avastin/Taxol/Carboplatin Dec. '07. Progression in chest skin, stopped TAC March '03, started radiation.
Herceptin has served as the "Backbone" of my treatment strategy for over 6 years, giving me great quality of life. In 2005, I was privileged to participate in the University of Washington/Seattle HER2 Vaccine Trial.
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02-17-2007, 07:03 PM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 105
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It is a rare and special quality to be able to convey feelings through written words. You are truly special and we can all feel your sadness.
Each and every word I have read from you, Tom, has been so sincere and earnest, looking for ways to help your mother recover her health and quality of life. I have to assume your mother knew how special you are, as well, and was so grateful that she was blessed with you. May your pain be eased with the love and memories you shared with your mom. I know that if your mother were able, she would wrap her hands around your heart to keep it from breaking. I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you today.
Stephanie
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02-17-2007, 07:34 PM
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#16
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,014
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Tom, you have always been so sweet and caring and truely an advocate for your mom. With your help, she was able to beat the beast of cancer. I don't know the circumstances of her death but it should be some comfort to you to know all your work in helping her keep her cancer at bay was not in vain. We all will go someday, and I hope your moms passing was in peace. There is no doubt that you will be reunited with her one day, you have been a dream of a son. You are in my prayers..sherryg683
__________________
Sherry
Diagnosed: December , 2005 at age 44
13+ positive lymph nodes
Stage IV , Her2+, 2 small mets to lungsChemo Started: Jan, 2006
4 months Taxotere, Xeloda, Hercepin
NED since April 2006!!
36 Rads to follow with weekly Herceptin indefinately
8 years NED now
Scans every year
Life is not about avoiding the thunderstorms, it's about learning to dance in the rain!
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02-17-2007, 08:29 PM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Southern, CA
Posts: 2,511
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Tom, You sure have a way with words. The pure deep love you have for your Mother has always shown through your posts. Your Mother must of been so very PROUD of you. I feel like I know her from the way you told us about her. Your Mother had to of been one very special lady to of raised a son like you. My heart seriously breaks for you. I didn't get through but a few words of your post and the tears were rolling down my face.
This has to be such a difficult time for you...I can't even imagine. Please take care of yourself. My deepest condolences.
Sending you warm healing thoughts and prayers.
Chelee
__________________
DX: 12-20-05 - Stage IIIA, Her2/Neu, 3+++,Er & Pr weakly positive, 5 of 16 pos nodes.
Rt. MRM on 1-3-06 -- No Rads due to compromised lungs.
Chemo started 2-7-06 -- TCH - - Finished 6-12-06
Finished yr of wkly herceptin 3-19-07
3-15-07 Lt side prophylactic simple mastectomy. -- Ooph 4-05-07
9-21-09 PET/CT "Recurrence" to Rt. axllia, Rt. femur, ilium. Possible Sacrum & liver? Now stage IV.
9-28-09 Loading dose of Herceptin & started Zometa
9-29-09 Power Port Placement
10-24-09 Mass 6.4 x 4.7 cm on Rt. femur head.
11-19-09 RT. Femur surgery - Rod placed
12-7-09 Navelbine added to Herceptin/Zometa.
3-23-10 Ten days of rads to RT femur. Completed.
4-05-10 Quit Navelbine--Herceptin/Zometa alone.
5-4-10 Appt. with Dr. Slamon to see what is next? Waiting on FISH results from femur biopsy.
Results to FISH was unsuccessful--this happens less then 2% of the time.
7-7-10 Recurrence to RT axilla again. Back to UCLA for options.
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02-18-2007, 11:55 AM
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#18
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Webmaster
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Home of the "Flying Tomato"
Carlsbad, CA
Posts: 2,036
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Tom,
Our hearts go out for you. We know how close you were to your Mom.
Regards
Joe and Christine
__________________
A Proud webmaster to the internet's most informed, educated, COMPASSIONATE and caring group of breast cancer survivors.
Illegitimi non carborundum
My Album
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02-18-2007, 01:05 PM
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#19
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 3,154
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Dear Tom,
I am sorry to hear of your Mothers passing. You will find comfort in the future days ahead knowing that you shared a beautiful life with your Mom. My Mom
passed six years ago and I had taken care of her with all my heart and soul just like you with your Mother. It is very difficult in the early years as they are greatly missed. But you can embrace your loving memories and remember happy loving days. (Many people do not have that) we do! Believe that is what helps gets you past the pain. Remember all the love and good things.
Your a one of a kind son and she was a one of a kind Mom.
She now lives in your heart.
Warm Regards,
Jean
__________________
Stage 1, Grade 1, 3/30/05
Lumpectomy 4/15/05 - 6MM IDC
Node Neg. (Sentinel node)
ER+ 90% / PR-, Her2+++ by FISH
Ki-67 40%
Arimidex 5/05
Radiation 32 trt, 5/30/05
Oncotype DX test 4/17/06, 31% high risk
TOPO 11 neg. 4/06
Stopped Arimidex 5/06
TCH 5/06, 6 treatments
Herceptin 5/06 - for 1 yr.
9/06 Completed chemo
Started Femara Sept. 2006
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02-18-2007, 01:12 PM
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#20
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 4,778
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Tom
I was truly saddened to hear of your mother's passing.
If only every woman with breast cancer had a son as dedicated, caring and selfless as you!
You are in all our thoughts!
Lani, dubbed by you "the propeller-head"
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